Paperback 1132: Mercedes / Carl Demarco (Midwood 33-714)

 Paperback 1132: Midwood 33-714 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Mercedes

Author: Carl Demarco

Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 6/10

Value: $11

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• The long-awaited sequel to Hyundai.
• So ... she discovered that there was a staircase as well as an elevator? Exciting.
• I wish she filled more of the frame—so much more of the frame that the dope who's looking at her got pushed right out. There is a long tradition of "cardboard-cutout dude who is there only to ogle the hot woman" in paperback art, but this guy may be the cardboard-cutoutiest. She's so bored by him that she's turned to us for help.
• Her hair is perfect. The rest of her is pretty good too. I know I'm meant to look at her ass, but I kinda wish I could see the whole dress.
• I would lose my fucking mind if I spent more than three minutes in a room this color. So relentlessly This Color.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Just a B&W version of the cover?? The look and tone of both the art and the cover copy are so weary and half-hearted that I feel like that final line should read "[Sigh] Yet Another Midwood Original (We're Out Of Ideas)"
• I keep looking at her right hand to see if it has the correct number of fingers. There's something slightly ... mangled about it.
• "Penetrating"? OK, easy there, copy guy.
• "With whom"? Well, la-di-dah, copy guy.

Page 123~

    With a strange urgency, she passed her hands over her body—nude beneath the sheets—as if to reassure herself that she was all there, intact [!], that she hadn't left a part of herself with the sensuous Suzanne!

"My left kneecap ... Where's My Left Kneecap!? Curse your lesbian witchery, Suzanne!"

~RP

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Paperback 1130: Wild Spree / Jay Davis (Scorpion Books 101)

Paperback 1130: Scorpion Books 101 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Wild Spree

Author: Jay Davis

Cover artist: Gus Albet

Condition: 9/10 (yeah, it's got that sticker (38¢!!) ... sigh ... but otherwise ... mwah)

Value: $25-30

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• L.A. pilates classes go hard.
• It's been two weeks since my last post! But vacation time is over! Let sleaze time commence!
• Bisexual visibility! You don't see "bisexuality" mentioned explicitly very often, but this one's got it right in the tagline on the teaser page, before the title page: "HER BISEXUAL ROOMMATE SEDUCED HER!" And sure, enough, page 1, they get right to it. "Juanita's lips found Susan's breasts." Not hard to do. Turns out they weren't exactly hiding.

• My friend Doug Peterson frequently brings me smutty paperbacks whenever we happen to see each other, and this time, when we met at the Huntington Museum near Pasadena, he did not disappoint. I've got something like a dozen gems for you in the coming weeks, starting with this top-shelf stuff.
• Scorpion Books ("... the book with a sting!")—this imprint is new to my collection (there appear to have been something like 8 Scorpion Books total (this is 101 and I can find them numbered only as high as 108)).

Best things about this back cover: 

• Look, if you're gonna be lesbian, I think you gotta go "all out." No part-time lesbians, no half-ass lesbians. Just ... all out. Like Maxine. Maxine gets it.
• OK where the fuck are we here? Like, in physical space, where are we? I just realized that this is a wraparound cover. Usually, wraparound covers are kinda ostentatious about the fact that they're wraparounds, so you get this cool continuous-picture effect as you turn the book over. But this ... this is some kind of grimy shack with no electricity. The folks on the front seem very well lit, but over here, in front of this framed picture of, I'm gonna say, garbage, with a shabby day bed that features an old wooden barrel for a pillow, there is no light. Only sadness. 
• One thing I love about this book is the amount of credit the artist is getting. There is a painting within the painting, which the actual artist (of the entire cover) has signed ("ALBET"), and somebody made sure that signature stayed visible and unobscured. Then you open the book up and the artist doesn't just get a credit—he gets a whole damn page! More books should treat their cover artists like this! As a collector, it absolutely sucks how hard-to-impossible it is to track down a simple artist credit when the book doesn't simply provide it. But here: hey, hey, hey, it's Gusssssss Albet!

Page 123~

    Without thinking, without awareness, she walked to the door, opened it, and then gasped in surprise to find Maxine Hensen standing there. 

"Somebody order an all-out lesbian?" Maxine chortled suggestively. Susan gasped, dropped to her knees, and threw her blue blouse over her head as the night exploded in a wild spree of desperate bisexual passions. Amen.

~RP

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Paperback 1095: Man-Killer / Talmage Powell // Running Scared / Bob McKnight (Ace D-469)

 Paperback 1095: Ace D-469 (PBO / PBO, 1960)

Title: Man-Killer / Running Scared

Author: Talmage Powell / Bob McKnight

Cover artist: Rudy Nappi / Rudy Nappi (signature visible)

Condition: 8 or 9/10

Value: $30

Best things about this cover: 

• "You've had your breakfast of canned baked beans and coffee, now get out of my yellow house! Don't make me have to hold this gun properly!"
• She and that rifle sure seem, uh, friendly.
• This is one of the greatest fuck-off power poses I've ever seen on a paperback cover. I do believe she would, in fact, kill a man, possibly several.
• "The Lady's For Hanging" yeah good luck with that

Best things about this back cover: 

• Crawling Scared!
• "Murder On My Heels ... hey, where the hell are my heels, anyway? Must've lost 'em when I crawled through the swamp in my underwear oh well"
• The Ghost of Lee Marvin is very disappointed in your push-up technique

Page 123~ (from Man-Killer)

    The man paused at the mouth of the alley, a big, brawny shadow. I saw him stiffen. He was staring at the white blob of my face in the infiltrating light. 

    "Calhoun!"

    It was Giles Hustin.

OK, whatever suspense, whatever sense of impending terror you were trying to work up there was immediately and entirely dissipated by "It was Giles Hustin." Giles Hustin is not the name of a man who makes other men quake in fear. Giles Hustin is the name of a man who plays folk music every Thursday from 9 to 10 at The Rusty Skillet. 

Also, I'm worried about Calhoun's face.

~RP

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Paperback 1065: Move Over, Darling / Marvin H. Albert (Dell 5859)

Paperback 1065: Dell 5859 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Move Over, Darling

Author: Marvin H. Albert

Cover artist: TERPNING (no, really) [Howard Terpning—thanks to reader Jeff for the reference]

Condition: 7/10

Value: $8-10

Best things about this cover:

• Look, Doris Day's hair stylists did her no favors for a good chunk of the '60s but she is never not adorable and frankly that outfit is straight-up hot. I mean, your tastes may not run to the prim and purple, but that's your problem.
• James Garner, also the dreamiest, but this cover isn't really designed to showcase that.
• I hate how '60s paperback covers tend to emphasize text and often drive the art right off the page, but this cover has a nice, whimsical font, and frankly the artist gets a lot out of small details (DD's smile, her contemplative hand gesture, her dangly right shoe...)
• I love this idea that in the '60s, it was every guy's dream to have not one but two wives. "What a setup!" This runs contrary to most wife-related comedy I've heard over the years. Something about taking wives... please.

Best things about this back cover:

• See, text. It's awful.
• This is basically the plot of My Favorite Wife (Grant/Dunne, 1940). Since that is one of my favorite movies of all time, and since I have a crush on both of the actors on the cover of this book, I'm willing to give this movie a shot.
• See, TERPNING, I wasn't kidding. That's the cover artist's name. Not sure how that's a real name, but ... there it is! As I understand it, TERP is short for "terrapin," a kind of turtle. I would see a turtle-horror film called "The Terpning"!

Page 123~

"I was very excited by the island vegetation. I'm afraid I spent so much time on research that I was not very good company for your wife."

Heyyyyy, this *is* the plot of My Favorite Wife!!! Nick's first wife, Ellen, is shipwrecked for years on an island with a Johnny Weissmuller-type hunk (Adam) as her only companion. In order to keep Nick from getting jealous, she tries to pass off some ordinary-looking shoe clerk as Adam. Misunderstanding, tomfoolery, and hijinks ensue. Annnnyway, Move Over, Darling appears to be a faithful remake of My Favorite Wife, so now I'm definitely going to see it. Possibly right now. 

~RP

P.S. OMG the entire movie is summarized in just four pages of photo stills from the movie (please enjoy my leering marginal illustration):

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Paperback 1042: Bartered Mates / Thomas K. Makagon (Unique Books 144)

Paperback 1042: Unique Books 144 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Bartered Mates
Author: Thomas K. Makagon
Cover artist: that guy ... I always forget his name ... one of you will tell me (Bill Alexander)

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: a lot

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• I keep reading "Battered Meats"
• Get it on! Bang a gong! Makagon!
• The pointing lady is the best. We don't even get to see her face. Just her amazing get-up and pointing arm. "J'accuse!" "Koochy koochy koo!" "Where Are This Man's Damned Nipples!?"
• I really dig The Couch Of Impossible Boobs
• If you look at his left foot too long you will be cursed. I have warned you.
• This book is bizarrely rare. I searched ["bartered mates" makagon] and got TWO HITS TOTAL

Best things about this back cover:

• I've seen worse cover copy, but not much worse. I do like the manic use of "—" there in the first paragraph. "Is it a happening, a trend, or a switch ... ? ... fuck it, let's just go with all of the above!"
• Why is there a comma after "delectable" in paragraph 2!?! Truly, I am bothered far more by punctuation minutiae than by the preposterous cheesiness of it all.
• OK the first sentence of paragraph 2 is utterly ungrammatical (although LOL at "brain child" quote unquote)
• Shouldn't it be "a between-pictures diversion" OK I'll stop now.
• "... the private threats of enjoyed and accepted female aggression" like, try to wrap your head around that. If it's "accepted" how is it a "threat," and to what? Dudes like being whipped by ladies. That's pretty much the end of the story.
• "MASTERLY POWERS OF FEMALE DOMINATION" was what was written on Jessica Fletcher's business card (or should've been)

Page 123~

Don finished his drink and set it on the dresser, then walked over to the edge of the bed he reached down to the back of her thighs, gently separated them and commenced to kiss the small of her back. His tongue went to her pink lined crease. Slowly he flicked it downward until he had gone as far as he  could go, then pushing her thighs upward, he held her almost on her head. He kept moving downward gradually, pushing her upward. When he found the desired spot, Roxana moaned through her fallen hair. He then shoved her backwards until she was on her back in an opposite direction. Now, he could feel her mouth covering him as they clasped each other's passionate bodies tightly.

Ok so this is terrible in so many ways but I'm stuck back on "pink lined crease" (sic). Is her lined crease pink, or is her crease pink-lined? And which crease are we talking about? Further, where did his tongue go? Where did her thighs go? Downward? Upward? "An opposite direction"? It looks like they end up in 69 at the end, but I feel like maybe that was just a lucky accident?

~RP

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Paperback 1036: Circle of Sin / Leslie Behan (Domino 84-700)

Paperback 1036: Domino Books 84-700 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Circle of Sin
Author: Leslie Behan
Cover artist: Photo cover

Condition: 7/10 (tight and square, but w/ water stains on edges)
Estimated value: $25-30

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• No single word is going to derail your Sexy Train faster or more efficiently than "groping."
• Jeez, male gaze much?
• "Now why don't you sit up here on my desk?" "Wh-?" "Shhh. It's standard practice." "Uh, OK, I guess. But who's that?" "Him? Oh, that's just Steve. Ignore him." "Uh..." "Good, now whatever you do, do Not look at the lamp." "Bu-" "AVERT YOUR EYES!"
• The psychologist's suit is legit hot.

Best things about this back cover:

• Groups gone WILD {CRACK!}
• "Revolved achingly" = me trying to dine at one of them revolving restaurants, no sir, I'll take my food
• stationary, as god intended, thank you very much
• I love how this goes from dumb-ass sex fiction to super dumb-ass Agatha Christie mystery on a dime! Wait, we got a body!? I'm in.

Page 123~

"You met a girl?" Durango looked at him closely. Somehow he found himself believing the answer. "Where? What girl?"
"I picked her up on Broadway. She was standing in a doorway. A hooker. I went up to her place with her."

This novel has to be sexier than this dude Forrest Gumping his way through Sex Town. Hang on ... OK here we go:

Her hands moved downward, over the tiny waist to the flat belly. She massaged the belly for a long time, moving farther downward slowly to the trembling mound beneath it. And then her fingers were nearing their target, the tips becoming slippery with the dew of passion they found there. They caught the tiny polyp of flesh awaiting them and stroking it.

I can't stop laughing at that last "sentence." As with the cover copy, this writer really, really knows how to ruin whatever meager sex vibe he's able to get going. I mean, "polyp"? That's something you discover during a colonoscopy, why would you use it to describe the clitoris, dear lord? Am I really supposed to believe a woman wrote this? "Leslie" ... OK, Leslie, aside from possibly a fake name, could also be a dude's name. All I know is a guy wrote this. A guy whose grasp of grammar, like his grasp of sexiness, is not very, uh firm. ("... and stroking it"?)

~RP

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Paperback 1028: Footsteps in the Night / Dolores Hitchens (Permabook M-4261)

Paperback 1028: Perma Books M-4261 (1st ptg, 1962)

Title: Footsteps in the Night
Author: Dolores Hitchens
Cover artist: Harry Bennett

Condition: 8.5/10
Estimated value: $15

Best things about this cover:

• I have no idea what this book is about, but I love trying to work out what the hell is going on in this scene. Is she being stalked? Or is that just her husband wondering why the hell his drunk wife is wandering off in one shoe while holding the other shoe?
• Love her little fingernail-biting gesture. So perfectly pensive. "Hmmm ... now where did I leave my other shoe?" This is the shoe equivalent of losing your glasses because they are on top of your damned head.
• I'm not the biggest fan of Harry Bennett's art work—a little too sketchy/sloppy-looking for my tastes—but this scene is pretty evocative and intriguing. I just wish there were ... more of it. The '60s are a fast-moving tragedy for fully painted cover art. Canvas shrinks. Text takes over. I don't even like thinking about it.
• Dolores Hitchens is one of those writers I keep meaning to read but not reading. I think I read something of hers a while back and liked it. I just opened to a random page and this is the first thing my eyes hit: "Mrs. Holden's pouter-pigeon bosom strained the buttons of the blue quilted housecoat." OK, sure, I'm in.

Best things about this back cover:

• LOL text shaping. Actually, it's kind of perfect that her quizzical face is being used as the top end of a "?"
• This isn't the greatest back cover copy. There's no context for any of these names. You could just keep asking questions with random names and I'd be like "I ... don't know. Still don't know. Should I care? Who Are These People? What Is Happening In This Book?"
• Dronk! When you're not just drunk ...

Page 123~

"Cops are like this, as long as you admit what they want you to admit, they're okay. So I admit I was up there, in your house, and I left at such-and-such a time, and I got home at a certain hour and all that crap. You think they're going to lean on me, try to make me say what we were doing?"

Now I want to know what they were doing. According to an earlier paragraph on this page, it involved "hot yearnings." Hot shoeless yearnings, no doubt.

~RP

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Paperback 1024: Highway Hustlers / Zan Collins (Magenta M112)

Paperback 1024: Magenta Books M112 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Highway Hustlers
Author: Zan Collins
Cover artist: God I wish I knew

Condition: 9/10. 
Estimated value: I have no idea, as this book literally appears not to exist... [update, 6/9/25—found one for $55 and it's not in as good a condition as mine, but still ... I think $50 is ballpark]

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection] 

***

Best things about this cover:

• "OK, let's take this transcontinental lesbian sex romp premise and make it ... lifeless. Oh, and make the roads look totally implausible and ignore all rules of scale and pretend depth perception isn't a thing ... oh yeah ... that's good"
• There is no shoulder to this road. They are standing in the road. Next to the world's tiniest mesa and cacti.
• Those look less like sexy poses and more like attempts to set a Guinness world record for balancing oddly
• Zan Collins. When you want a totally plausible namelike name under which to publish your crappiest fiction: Zan Collins.
• I don't think you have to worry about "minors" going anywhere near this eyesore
• That pink top is actually very cute.

Best things about this back cover:

• I can't stop laughing at the full-stop after "Unwary." Sure, it's D-grade sleaze fiction, but we're not animals—punctuate properly!
• "I am not a tramp, she kept reassuring herself" is one of the greatest lines of cover copy I've ever seen.
• Too many words. Words that do nothing but amass into a meaningless mush. Has there ever been a less climactic climax than this one?

Page 123~

"Your eyes are agleam," Meg whispered at last.

I laughed so hard at 'agleam' ... crossword people will understand. But I'll give you more, because there is more to give:

[W]hen they stripped down, Marianne noticed Meg's pointed breasts. The nipples were taut, swollen.
     She never questioned Meg as to what kind of evening she had enjoyed. But if Meg's rosettes were honest, Marianne was quite sure that she had told the young soldier goodbye in her own womanly way.

Ladies, don't you hate it when your 'rosettes' lie? Or when people call your nipples 'rosettes'? I mean, really...

~RP

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Paperback 1002: Naked in Paris / Zack Robertts (Carousel 513)

Paperback 1002: Carousel Books 513 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Naked in Paris
Author: Zack Robertts
Cover artist: cheap-ass photographer

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $12-15

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• Super-hot top and chair totally undermined by world's most disgusting carpet remnant
• Nice gams, tho
• I like how she's carefully posed but also looks Completely surprised someone is taking her picture. "I'm just gonna enjoy a little after-party time with my favorite carpet remnant and ... oh! A photographer! I didn't see you there!"
• Zack Robertts—the extra T is for "titillation"! (is what I assume his business cards said)

Best things about this back cover:

• Hell yeah, it's frank! All the best stories are frank! Frank!
• Modern love = sex in this mid-century butterfly chair—bonne chance!
• "World capitals," LOL. "Which ones?" "Some of them!"

Page123~

It wasn't exactly as I had planned and dreamed it over many months, but it was only for a brief stopover, but I was going home. And I felt pretty good about it.

But I don't feel pretty good about that first sentence, but what do I know?

~RP

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Paperback 1000: The Case of the Musical Cow / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 1063)

Paperback 1000: Pocket Books 1063 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: The Case of the Musical Cow
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: photo cover (Silver Studios)

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $12-15

Best things about this cover:

• After "All About Eve," Bette Davis's career took a weird turn there for a bit...
• Out with the old kind of mystery about DOPE and MURDER, in with the new kind of mystery about DOPE and MURDER. What's new, you ask? Well, musical cows, for one. Admit it, you did not see that coming.
• Is that an Eames chair? That's some pretty stylish bondage.
• There is a *lot* of rope in her lap, which the red-painted case title and the immersive mustard experience are probably supposed to distract you from.

Best things about this back cover:

• I love (like, Love) that the exciting red cursive intro text just says "Rob Trenton."
• I also love (like, Am In Awe Of) Erle Stanley Gardner's psychopathic signature.
• Ooh, Europe. How exoticish!

Page 123~

Rob Trenton, who had been listening incredulously, said, "That's a lie! That whole statement is false. This man is one of the . . . "

At this point, Rob Trenton was deemed both too implausible and too boring to continue as a functioning character in this story, and so he simply exploded, leaving the remaining characters staring (incredulously, of course) at an empty chair.

~RP

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Paperback 996: Playgirl For Hire / Sylvia Sharon (Domino Books 82-104)

Paperback 996: Domino Books 82-104 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Playgirl For Hire
Author: Sylvia Sharon (pseud. of Paul Little)
Cover artist: photo cover

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $25-30

Best things about this cover:

• "Put down that drink and let's go do some tumbling? Whaddya say?"
• I assume these ladies are supposed to be facsimiles of Playboy Bunnies (?) but aside from the liquor and the heels, and maybe the floor, this cover seems less "big-time vice" and more "back stage at the taping of a yoga class for public access TV."
• "Oh, Patti, I feel so enmeshed in big-time vice." "Those are just stockings, dearie."

Best things about this back cover:

• Ah, the old "daddy issues lead Kitty to sin city" narrative. Klassic.
• There's a haven for the bored and jaded? How do I get there?
• No models were harmed in the shooting of the cover photo

Page 123~

Kitty thought it curious that Pearl should suddenly gulp, turn very red, and squirm nervously about as she hastened to reply, "Oh, I do, Miss Wilson."

I wanted to cut that quote short at "gulp," but kept going in the interest of journalistic integrity.

~RP

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Paperback 963: An Air That Kills / Margaret Mllar (Bantam A1979)

Paperback 963: Bantam A1979 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: An Air That Kills
Author: Margaret Millar
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $10-12
Condition: 6/10 (upper cover smashing—rest tight/square)

Best things about this cover:

• An Air That Kills, eh? Well, I will say that a car plummeting off a cliff is an interesting way to represent a fart. Bold. I like it.
• That embrace is impressive in its awkward realism and urgency.
• Margaret Millar was a successful mid-century crime writer, married to Kenneth Millar (aka Ross Macdonald)

Best things about this back cover:

• That's a glamorous ampersand.
• Never did like giving over a third of the back cover to ads for other books. All space for art!
• I'm not sure what's going on with these vaguely rectangular shapes that look like imaginary U.S. states (see white block here, red block on front cover). Odd aesthetic choices.

Page 123~

Harry wiped his face on a corner of the bed sheet, then held it against his mouth to stem the flow of hiccoughs. "My head hurts. I broke something. Did I—broke something?"

I like Harry. Harry seems nice.

~RP

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Paperback 961: The Chocolate Cobweb + Who's Been Sitting in My Chair? / Charlotte Armstrong (Ace Double G-511)

Paperback 961: Ace Double G-511 (1st / 1st, 1962)

Title: The Chocolate Cobweb / Who's Been Sitting in My Chair?
Author: Charlotte Armstrong / Charlotte Armstrong
Cover artist: Uncredited / Uncredited

Estimated value: $15
Condition: 7/10 (because of warp—else 9/10; square, shiny, unread)

Best things about this cover:

• "Come away from the cobweb, dearie. I'm saving that one for company."
• "It's chocolate!" "It's pica, dearie."
• This isn't the first time Charlotte (Armstrong) has been associated with Webs...
• Mystery writers are frequently praised for their "skill" (here, twice) as if they were performing a parlor trick as opposed to, you know, writing well. I just read a conventional mystery (by Helen Nielsen—Sing Me a Murder) and it was painfully contrived, as most puzzle-mysteries are (though Nielsen is a fine writer, in general). Chandler's "Simple Art of Murder" has made it virtually impossible for me to take the whodunnit seriously, or even enjoy it. Too much improbable nonsense and implausible, unprofessional, downright stupid gimmickry, all to make a complicated plot work out just so. Pass.

Best things about this other cover:

• I love her so much.
• She knows how to get comfortable. Kicked off the heels and curled up on the chair, just relaxing. Arm across the body says "Please &*%# off, I'm trying to enjoy my cigarette in peace, thanks."
• The Girl Who Dreamed of Some Square Guy Holding What is Clearly a Desk Mic
• "Authentic witches"?!—I don't know what you're on about, Anthony Boucher, but I'm intrigued.

Page 123~ (from The Chocolate Cobweb)

The little paw touched his tired head in a brief caress.

In a not-too-distant future, when dogs and humans have switched positions ... The Chocolate Cobweb!

~RP

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Paperback 959: Fools Die on Friday / A.A. Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)

Paperback 959: Dell R105 (1st thus, 1961)

Title: Fools Die on Friday
Author: A.A. Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)
Cover artist: Bob McGinnis

Estimated value: $10-15
Condition: 9+/10

Best things about this cover:

• It appears that either I hit some perfectly preserved AA Fair / Erle Stanley Gardner motherlode at some point in my collecting journeys, or someone sent me box of same. These books are exceedingly common, but no less glorious, art-wise. And in this condition, mwah!
• I love McGinnis's work, though I don't always share his, uh, aesthetic. There's often an icy, angular quality to his women, and the hair, dear lord, the hair. There be dragons.
• The shoes, though. The shoes. Gotta be the shoes.
• All covers are improved by martini.

Best things about this back cover:

• Math!
• Crazy calligraphic math!
• This back cover does nothing to convey how charming the Lam/Cool mysteries are.

Page 123~

She pushed back her stenographic chair, walked over to a shelf, whipped out a map, and placed it on the counter.

OK, I don't know who she is, but I'm in love.

~RP

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Paperback 957: The Case of the Golddigger's Purse / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 4505)

Paperback 957: Pocket Books 4505 (8th ptg, 1962)

Title: The Case of the Golddigger's Purse
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Estimated value: $6-10
Condition: 8/10 (shiny and unread but mildly, uh, storage-smushed in a couple places)

Best things about this cover:

• Honestly, this is ridiculous. It looks like she's somehow killed a fancy, jewel-encrusted parrot and is preparing to devour its carcass. The bones!
• There are precisely two great things about this cover: a. orange! and b. that left shoe and whatever story lies behind its location.
• I have never seen McGinnis's talents put to poorer use. A huge Perry Mason logo, but only a teeny tiny half-shod McGinnis girl?! Priorities, man.

Best things about this back cover:

• This way to dish!
• I'm guess a guy named Harrington Faulkner doesn't work at the docks.
• Now I ain't sayin' she a goldfish-digger...
• So ... Goldfish ... that explains the color. I think.

Page 123~

With every simulation of candid surprise, Dixon raised his eyebrows.

~RP

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Paperback 948: Sin-Drome / Arthur A. Howe (Vega V-46)

Paperback 948: Vega Books V-46 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Sin-Drome
Author: Arthur A. Howe
Cover artist: that guy who did so many Vega / Fabian / Saber Books covers...

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Estimated value: $15-20
Condition: 6/10

Best things about this cover:

• More awkward couch-posing. Great.
• More awkward "Sin"-punning. Great.
• Is "Dyserotic" a word?
• Ew, his right hand. Imagine that touching you. Ew.
• Suburban Insurance Salesman Vampires prefer the upper boob.
• LOL at the discreetly bolded "other"

Best things about this back cover:

• "The gun was the weapon which decided the balance of power in this situation." So sayeth SleazeNovelBot 5000.
• Man, this is the worst. It's like every sub-"Walker Texas Ranger" crime show where the killer / bad guy decides to delay and orate just long enough for the hero to come along with a roundhouse.
• I gotta say, the sexual sadism of the last part is kind of a new twist, though.
• Speaking of sadism, I shudder to think what previous owners have done to this book. Are those cigarette burns?

Page 123~

"Oh God! He's dangerous, Juelle. If he catches on there's no telling what he'll do."

Don't be cruelle, Juelle, you fooelle.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 947: I Search For Sin-sation / Alvin Browne (Regal Novel 1138)

Paperback 947: Regal Novel 1138 (PBO, 1967)

Title: I Search For Sin-sation
Author: Alvin Browne
Cover artist: Uncredited, unheralded, unloved

Estimated value: $No Idea (lots)
Condition: 8/10

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• I haven't stopped laughing since I realized (about 30 seconds ago) that the title is "I Search for Sinsation" and not, as I genuinely thought it was, "I Search for Sin Station"—"Siri, where the fuck is Sin Station? I've been driving around this shitty neighborhood for hours! I'm going to miss my train! Reroute!"
• What kind of giant leaf-based contraption is she wearing around her shoulders!?
• What kind of shitty, wrinkled, ragged, no-backed couch is that?
• She is moments from toppling over—mid leg-cross, her left (fear!) hand hoping to find leverage and support on non-existent couch arm.
• Those shoes make no sense with that ensemble, and yet they are the least stupid thing on this cover.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ah, this rhetorical style (INSANE PHRASE ... gibberish ... INSANE PHRASE) is typical of many many sleaze paperback back covers of '60s.
• I love the legalistic tone here. "Whereas the full bodied girl heretofore mentioned is in her rights pertaining to the first part of the second sex clause..."
• "Bed-boredom!"
• Let's get Physical (answer)!

Page 123~

Her breasts were basketballs hanging almost to her navel.

OK, I cheated, that's p. 122. But it begged to be quoted. Here's p. 123:

She would have sworm (sic!) there'd been straps on her now naked shoulders when they'd sat down. Her partner was bent down over her breasts. She dismissed her suspicions. No one could be that openly trampish.

There really aren't enough (sic!)s in the world. That typo ... it's not an outlier. Here's something from the opening (teaser) page of this novel:

He kissed her and cupped a breast in his hand she felt a quiver race through her. (sigh, sic)
"It's time we ment to bed," he said huskily. (Sickety sic)
She felt desire mounting within her loins.

And So Forth.

~RP

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Paperback 913: One More Unfortunate / Edgar Lustgarten (Bantam 360)

Paperback 913: Bantam 360 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: One More Unfortunate
Author: Edgar Lustgarten
Cover artist: Bernard Safran

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• "I was Mr. Arm Veins 1938, 1939, and 1941. Don't ask about 1940. Here, drink this."
• "First, let me show you this here invention I come up with. I call it, 'The Butt Scratcher'...."
• Wow, when he rolls up his sleeves, he really Rolls Up His Sleeves.
• That knife-arm, everything about it, is really striking. And yet I'm weirdly mesmerized by the torn wallpaper patch (authentic seediness!) and her shoes, which I really wish I could see in profile. And closer up.

Best things about this back cover:

• Young Ronald Reagan was not allowed to ride the children's choo-choo train. Would / he / die?!
• I love how the issue here isn't the horrific fate of Kate Haggerty, but how her horrific fate might reflect on Captain White Man.
• Damn evidence. Always with the mounting.

Page 123~

He gave his answer in loud, almost truculent tones.

Ooh, I like that. I think I'm gonna steal it. "Almost Truculent: The Rex Parker Story"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 895: Flame / Joan Ellis (Midwood 61)

Paperback 895: Midwood 61 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Flame
Author: Joan Ellis
Cover artist: [Paul Rader]

Estimated value: $17-20

Best things about this cover:

• I don't know what you're about to do with the cigarette, lady, but please stop.
• She looks like if Lauren Bacall and Satan had a baby.
• I am on fire with burning ambition and a smouldering need for CHAIR.
• Font!
• Heels!
• Scare quotes!
• This book is, like, the reddest thing I own.
• I don't know if this is a Paul Rader cover, but it feels that way, so ... partial credit!

Best things about this back cover:

• HA ha, more scare quotes for all things "school"-related. We get it. It's a racket.
• They're pushing this "FLAME" motif a little hard.
• No cooked facts! Only raw! This is "Talent School," ladies!
• If not a band, Hardened Harlots is at least a roller derby team name.

Page 123~

"Let 'em get all hot and bothered. Do 'em good," he insisted, sliding her robe into a heap on the floor, and then the bikini pajamas she wore underneath.

Google image search of "bikini pajamas" yields mostly ... well, neither bikinis nor pajamas. Is "bikini pajamas" what hep cats used to call "underwear"?

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 880: Bump and Run / Marty Domres (Bantam N7253)

Paperback 880: Bantam N7253 (PBO, 1971)

Title: Bump and Run
Author: Marty Domres (w/ Robert Smith)
Cover artist: Uncredited (!@!^%&) [Bill Wenzel]

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• It is criminal that the cartoonist didn't get credit here. CRIMINAL. (And yes, that *is* the first and most important comment I have about this cover) [this site credits Bill Wenzel, so … I'm going with that]
• One man's desperate quest for the Perfect Grope. He's so close! Leave him alone, you other ladies!
• I love how obliging the stewardess is. Heels *and* tiptoes *and* chest thrust. She looks more like a mermaid figurehead on an 18c. pirate ship than a human being in any kind of normal position.
• That is some classic '70s Playboy near-naked lady cartooning there.
• This book is much better written, and much more political (specifically anti-racist) than you'd expect from the cover.

Best things about this back cover:

• There is nothing I can add to improve on this.
• You cannot throw a football from that position.
• When you can cast spells like Marty, you don't need no stinkin' helmet.

Page 123~

We expect to find conditions everywhere as they are in California, where there is no craning of the neck and muttering, no indignant or unbelieving stares, no glowering visages at the sight of a black man and a white girl enjoying each other's company. Any place that sets out to bar blacks, in the manner of the unreconstructed South, might just as well put up a sign that closes the place to pro football players altogether.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]