Paperback 455: Erotic Interlude / Bob Elmer (Dragon Editions 143)

Paperback 455: Dragon Edition DE143 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Erotic Interlude
Author: Bob Elmer
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: [SOLD!: 9/9/11]


Best things about this cover:

• OK, I've seen bad wigs, and I've seen Bad Wigs, but this thing wins.
• She took men to her Fortress of Solitude, where she screwed them and then promptly froze them in pillars of ice.
• If you just focus on the upper parts of her breasts and chest, this cover looks nice. But if you move your eyes from that spot even a fraction of an inch in any direction: disaster.
• What's holding up her boobs? Remnants of an old dish rag? Plaster of Paris? A tennis ball that's been cleaved in half and pried open?
• If you're gonna get yourself a sex machine, you need to make sure it's trained. Untrained sex machines can really chew you up. Trust me.

Best things about this back cover:

• "UNIQUE SKILL!" — Nice. Nothing sexier than the language of a job resumé.
• So we're just forgoing indefinite articles in our cover copy now? OK then...
• I've read Mad Libs that made more sense than this—Mad Libs filled out by kids who don't even know what "adjective" means.
• This was one of the earliest efforts at sex novel cover copy writing by Professor Frink's Smut-Bot 5000. When you look at it that way, it's pretty good.

Page 123~

The blonde began blazing a trail of kisses down Delia's body. And then her hand began doing things.

Delia hated it when her lovers surreptitiously played "Angry Birds" during sex.

~RP

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Paperback 231: Sin Crop / J. A. Nash (Dragon Edition 151)

Paperback 231: Dragon Edition DE 151 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Sin Crop
Author: J. A. Nash
Cover artist: the artist of the damned

Yours for: $19


Best things about this cover:

• Define "best"
• This artist graduated from the "Making Nudity Sad and Joyless" school of painting
• The positioning of the "Adults Only" sign, dear god! ... "Wanda lived her life by one rule - no anal sex with minors."
• "... and then the starfish just attacked my boob. It was so weird ..."
• The background color is there to remind you of the dirtiness you should be feeling in your soul right about now.

Best things about this back cover:

• For every Sin Crop, there must be a Shame Harvest
• Remember what I said about back cover copy on sleaze paperbacks (see Paperback 230: Lust Cult). Well, this is pretty typical of what I was talking about. I mean ... comma splice! Come on!
• "A gaggle of rural women" - I doubt that phrase has ever been used by anyone, anywhere, ever (besides this cover)

Page 123~

As I slowly let my lips glide down to hers, let them collapse to softness, melting and caressing, consuming hers.

Apparently, I am supposed to believe that that is a complete sentence. Then there's this:

Her lips were hot, indescribably soft and moist, forming a delicate cushion [!]. Still I held the locked contact [?], slowly moving my mouth, my arms holding her gently but firmly ...

I lost it at the "slowly moving my mouth" part. Made me imagine being gummed to death by ... what was the name of those novelty singing large-mouth bass?

~RP