Paperback 815: This Is Elaine / Jason Hytes (Midwood F229)

Paperback 815: Midwood F229 (PBO, 1963)

Title: This Is Elaine
Author: Jason Hytes
Cover artist: Paul Rader

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• Whoa. I was never a big "Seinfeld" fan, but maybe I need to reconsider …
• I love how happy is to be warming her bare bottom with the flame of a single candle. It's the simple pleasures…
• I am laughing so hard imagining the sad person sitting on the broken Merry-Go-Round of Sex.
• Hmm. Define "Bestseller."
• "Sex Before Six," the best-selling follow-up to "Fucking Before Five Fifteen."

Best things about this back cover:

• I'd like to speak to the mayor.
• "Jason Hytes has exposed their wanton merry-go-round of sex…" Wait, is this non-fiction? Did he go undercover, as it were?
• At this point, if there is not an Actual Merry-Go-Round Of Sex in this book, I will be very, very disappointed, Jason Hytes.

Page 123~

Clay Brackett moved out of a group of men to block her path, his darkly handsome face flushed and lusting.

"Flushed and Lusting: The Clay Brackett's Face Story"

~RP

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Paperback 419: The Doctor and the Dike / Jason Hytes (Midwood Y176)

Paperback 419: Midwood Y176 (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Doctor & the Dike
Author: Jason Hytes
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $21


Best things about this cover:

• If that is his receptionist's regular office behavior, I'd say she has a bigger problem than (capital L!) Lesbianism.
• Love the expression on his face: "Hmmm, that's odd. My comically large diploma didn't prepare me for this eventuality..."
• Garters are sexy.
• I don't quite understand what she's supposed to be doing. Is that a dress she has just removed? Silk cloth with which she's performing some kind of dance? A space alien that has bitten her hand and won't let go?

Best things about this back cover:

• "Gwenn's breasts were too small" — I'm not sure that qualifies as "interesting"; "Gwenn's breasts spoke to her at night"—that would be interesting.
• I will give this back cover one thing: I *do* want to know what "his own problem" is now. Although if it's something as simple and predictable as "he keeps nailing his patients," I'll be at least a little disappointed.
• "Ow, my core!"

Page 123~

Reed wet his lips (1), suddenly parched, his mind aflame with thoughts of Patricia and her strange behavior (2). "This girl," he rasped drily (3), "what did she look like?" He balled his hands into tight fists as he awaited her reply.

1. First, gross. Second, when I played clarinet, I often used my lips to wet my reed.
2. Come on, just tell us! Between the back cover and this sentence, I've had just about enough of your ambiguity, mister.
3. I really wish I could post an audio file of me trying to recreate what this sounds like. I sound like an aging smoker picking someone out of a line-up ("This girl... [cough]").

~RP

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