Paperback 845: Uncle Good's Week-End Party / John Faulkner (Gold Medal 1031)

Paperback 845: Gold Medal 1031 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Uncle Good's Week-End Party
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Estimated value: $20-25


Best things about this cover:

• Try to find a creepier title/cover art pairing. Go ahead. I'll wait.
• Uncle Good likes to watch. And smoke. And hunch. And not tuck his shirt in.
• The funniest thing on this cover is "Faulkner."
• MTV canceled this after one season.
• What is "NOOT?"

Best things about this back cover:

• I like how this cover starts, anyway.
• Let me get this straight: I'll laugh at the side-splitting antics of an old man who rents out his own daughters? An old man who is his daughters' pimp? Or does he rent them out as clowns for children's birthday parties? Please say "B."
• ORTA. That is all.

Page 123~

Orta June and Jewel Mae had stood up as the husbands came stumbling and crawling across the porch. Soon the husbands were thick around them.

This is like a zombie movie. But with husbands.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 624: Men Working / John Faulkner (Bantam 1023)

Paperback 624: Bantam 1023 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Men Working
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Harry Schaare

Yours for: $16


Best things about this cover:

• After "The Wizard of Oz," Bert Lahr fell on hard times.
• Apparently the word "Working" has undergone a major redefinition.
• "You want my hat? 'Cause I ain't gots no use fer it no more. Here. You take it."
• John Faulkner continues to plow his little corner of the fictional world—Slovenly Sexpots and the Yokels Who Gawk at Them.
• Guess the ink was wet at some point. I'm never seen title-streaking like that before.
• Best part about this cover: Yellow. And Red. Even in that shapeless dress, she explodes off the page.
• "Blunt": "Frank"'s ugly cousin.

Best things about this back cover:

• Oh yeah. Blunt Frankness! That's the stuff.
• "We're under attack from critical applause. The last salvo hit Jerry. Jerry? You OK? JERRY!?"
• In case you missed it the first time: blunt frankness. None of that round-about, elliptical, evasive frankness for John Faulkner. Nosiree.

Page 123~

"Good God," said the Board of Health again. Then, "Do you mind if we look at your toilet room?"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 607: Ain't Gonna Rain No More / John Faulkner (Gold Medal 927)

Paperback 607: Gold Medal 927 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Ain't Gonna Rain No More
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Mitchell Hooks

Yours for: $20


Best things about this cover:

• Whoa. Hey, uh, Dorothy? Your underwear called. It wants to know why you left it at home.
• How many signifiers of hickdom can you cram onto one cover? (answer: infinite). It's all whittlin' and pail sittin' and stove-humpin' with these folks. 
• "If this were a cartoon, my hat would've flown off my head *this* far!"

Best things about this back cover:

• OK, that dress is way more, uh, titillating in higher-contrast B&W. The distinction between polka dot and nipple is at this point irrelevant.
• "for furnish" ... what in the George Shaw is that?
• With the door jamb, she looked like she was striking a sexy little pose. Without the door jamb—lice-picking.

Page 123~

"I need my bucket up here to flang at her again, ifen I could git her back on the porch. She's been right shy about coming out on the porch sinct that there bucket chased her offen the end."

I sincerely hope that when I am old, I will have one of theme there flangin' buckets to flang at people who get up on my porch without permission.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 588: The Sin Shouter of Cabin Road / John Faulkner (Gold Medal s1070)

Paperback 588: Gold Medal s1070 (3rd ptg, 1960)

Title: The Sin Shouter of Cabin Road
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Josiah never went out a-preachin' without his trusty pet slattern.
• Behold what the mind-blowing success of Erskine Caldwell hath wrought. 
• With "ribald," "earthy," "uninhibited" and (on back) "bawdy" all featuring prominently on this cover, I canNot believe there's not a "frank" in sight. I guess "frank" is what you get when you drain the corny humor away.
• I dig the guy's pocket square but what the hell is up with his shoes? Those are some amazing technicolor dream shoes right there. 
• She is supposed to be sexy but she has dumb, lop-sided eyes and looks more seal than human.

Best things about this back cover:

• If you liked "Uncle Good's Girls," you'll "Uncle Good's Girls II: Gooder Than Ever."
• I believe in the reality of a person named "Harry Serwer" about as much as I believe in a "star of Beelzebub."
• Please please please let "the glory trail" be some porn term I'm as-yet unaware of.

Page 123~

"They ain't much difference in them politicians oncet they gits to Washington nohow," Uncle Good said. "They are all jest about furriners. I wouldn't trust nair one in Washington after they let the W P and A fall through."

Uncle Good—poet, prophet, statesman, regional caricature

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 187: Cabin Road / John Faulkner (Gold Medal 178)

Paperback 187: Gold Medal 178 (PBO, 1951)
Title: Cabin Road
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• "If you loved William, then it's within the realm of possibility that you might not hate ... John Faulkner!"
• Erskine Caldwell paperbacks sold by the bushel, and they invariably featured unspeakably hot hillbilly women who had all their teeth. I guess the idea was that the poor were "earthy" (i.e. liked to do it). So there is a kind of post-"Tobacco Road" vogue in backwoods babery that you can see in a number of 1950s paperbacks.
• Can a hillbilly be "ribald?"
• This woman is a mess from the neck up. It's like someone photoshopped her head on wrong. Or broke her neck, waited for rigor mortis to set in, and then propped her up there.

Best things about this back cover:

• Uh, nothing
• Again with the "ribald"
• See, I told you - "Tobacco Road"-ishness was clearly the selling point here
• Steinbeck? *William* Faulkner? OK, now you're pushing it
• "Earthy" "Ribald" "Lusty" ... "female problems"!? Does that mean the same thing it means now? Hey, what does it mean now? Wasn't that the name of a movie starring Divine?

Page 123~

"I don't see nothing to want to stand over there about," George said. "Hit looks like to me the floor's about the same as it is where at you're standing, what of it you can see fer them dogs. Ain't you comfortable there?"

I'm ... going to need a translator.

~RP