Paperback 1105: Suburban High School / George Savage (Beacon B494F)

 Paperback 1105: Beacon B494F (PBO, 1962)

Title: Suburban High School

Author: George Savage

Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 6/10

Value: $12-15

[The Book Den, Santa Barbara, CA (2024)]

Best things about this cover: 

• Suburban kink is a sizable sleaze paperback niche. Kinsey got everyone interested in the actual sex practices of ordinary people, and nothing shouts "ordinary" quite so strongly as the suburbs. Writers had fun imagining that "upstanding citizens," cultural conformists, and scolding moralists were actually horny hypocrites. And their kids, too!
• Her hair is doing very weird and unnatural things. Either that or she fell on a squirrel.
• "Oh Steve, this dead squirrel makes a terrible pillow. I feel sick. Rub my tummy."
• Seems like a Scandal, Sin and Sex curriculum would involve a lot of redundancy. I'd prefer some outdoor activities and maybe even some philosophy: Sin, Sun and Sartre! (if that's not the tagline of some philosophy conference somewhere, then why even be a philosopher?)
• Aside from her bralessness and semi-brazen side-boob, this cover is pretty tame. At first I thought there was some kind of bacchanalia going on in the background, but they're just dancing and roasting marshmallows, I think.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Does this even qualify as "advice?" And is that someone's idea of a "faculty" pun? 
• Hey, Frank Miller is in this? Exciting to get insight into his life pre-Dark Knight Returns.
• "A new teaching position"—is that also a pun!? 
• "Using women as weapons"—so, like battering rams?
• OK, I'm just gonna assume the whole last paragraph is meant to be SHOUTED.
• There is a catastrophic em dash failure in the last line here. This is the kind of "Scandal" that would bother me as a parent. "Yeah, yeah, the teens are having sex, whatever. Let's talk punctuation."

Page 123~

"Wait," I said. "Let me take off your panties."

I made it a ritual. I made taking her panties off a pagan rite that we would always practice. I drew them down slowly, inch by inch, over her hot buttocks."

Sorry, I wanted to go on, but I can't stop laughing at "hot buttocks." It's like if Hot Pockets were shaped like a butt. "Hot Buttocks!"

~RP

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Paperback 1102: Her Cheating Heart / Lloyd Kevin (Monarch Books 286)

Paperback 1102: Monarch 286 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Her Cheating Heart

Author: Lloyd Kevin

Cover artist: Tom Miller

Condition: 7/10

Value: $15

[The Book Den, Santa Barbara, CA]

Best things about this cover: 

• "C'mon, Joy, we've been over this—quit flashing the neighbors and make me some eggs or something, jeez..."
• Ah yes, her heart. Her cheating heart. This is an incredible painting of her heart. I could look at her heart all day.
• This is actually a great cover—very hard to draw this specific action (woman pulling nightgown over her head) in a way that looks natural, where everything stays proportionate and relative sexiness is maintained.
• Love the perpendicular contrast here: her action to his inaction, her ardor to his ennui. Sadly, those curtains are really killing the vibe. I can practically feel their rough, thick fabric and smell their cigarette mustiness. Between the curtains, the walls, the bedding, and his trousers/pajamas, I feel like I'm drowning in shades of drab. She looks great, the trailer park looks great, everything else looks like despair.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Oh cool, it's a Choose Your Own Adventure book!
• Trigg Melnor ... I'm dying. I can't breathe. Trigg... Melnor... Trigg Melnor, ladies and gentlemen. Trigg fucking Melnor. A man's man's man's man's name if there ever was one. What would I do? No, what would Trigg Melnor do? That is the question. That is the only question I will entertain in my life from now on. WWTMD, baby!
• I sorta like this red silhouette, although it takes her from sexy dame to blobby abstraction. Pretty recognizable human silhouette from the waistline down, but above that ... I dunno. Kinda looks like some form of animal life is getting involved. Like there's a koala maybe climbing up the right side, and a small dog (in profile) keeping lookout on the left. 

Page 123~

    Trigg tried a new approach. "Lu's old Chevvy—was it here last night?"

    The woman looked puzzled. "Ol shevi?"

    "Lu's car." He made steering-wheel motions.

Make steering-wheel motions—that's what Trigg Melnor did. And he was darned good at it, too.

~RP

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Paperback 1015: Three-And-A-Half Women / Fred May (Private Edition 372)

Paperback 1015: Private Edition PE 372 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Three-And-A-Half Women
Author: Fred May
Cover artist: [Uncredited]

Condition: 9/10 (I mean, square, unread, bright, wow)
Estimated value: Priceless ... also, I don't see this book anywhere on the internets, so ???

Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection

Best things about this cover:

• The paperback cover gods giveth and the paperback cover gods taketh away and sometimes the paperback cover gods give you so much that it is simply overwhelming and it feels like punishment
• I want to start with the hair. Her hair ... OK, moving on
• This is One, One-And-A-Half Women, tops
• One-And-Three-Quarters Buttcheeks
• I feel like there is a black hole located somewhere under the bed that is exerting its gravitational pull in remarkably distorting ways. It's literally pulling him off the bed. Or else he's taking a knee in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick, not sure.
• Someone was absent during Perspective day in art class. How big is that bed? How short is her left calf? What is that rope-holding peg even attached to??
• His Fear Hand™!! (O god I *hope* that's just Fear Hand™ and not him trying to suppress something pushing up from under his camisole...)

Best things about this back cover: 

• Nothing says "erotic reading" like "squatted" and (le mot juste) "haunches."
• "Puzzled" made me literally LOL
• Wait, how does he get his kicks??? All he did was leer at and/or ogle her, and she somehow knows about his kicks? Is flicking your eyes and wetting your lips code for something now? Is he just really into squatting haunches?

Page 123~

Betty now knew, of course, that Paul was the young man with whom Jill had spent the time in bed. She assumed that he had enjoyed the experience very much and was there to stake his claim. She also knew that Jill was basictlly [sic] a man's girl. Betty had conflicting emotions.

Ah yes, who can forget the young man with whom one had spent the time in bed? The time in bed is indeed worthy of fond recollection by those by whom it was experienced. Sex is something we humans are determinedly enjoying and no I am not a "bot" what is a "bot"?

~RP

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Paperback 1012: Only For Money / Mark King (Unique Books 146)

Paperback 1012: Unique Books 146 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Only For Money
Author: Mark King
Cover artist: [looks like Eric Stanton, but I dunno...]

Condition: 6/10 (tight but warped)
Estimated value: ~$25-30

Best things about this cover:

• Septuagenarian Barbarella brings grave tidings to Boris and Natasha's bondage party
• There are so many things to say about this cover, and yet my eyes are having a hard time seeing anything but that hat / cape combo.
• HatCape: for when your shoulders, mouth (!), and head are cold, but your boobs need air!
• HatCape: for when you want to look sexy, but talking would only ruin it!
• It's like three extras in three different low-budget genre flicks decided to meet up outside for a smoke break. Or like three porn actors have not been given sufficient direction: "Do you want to ... should we ... I mean, we're dressed like this, I assumed ... wait, why is there a trash can here? This does not make me feel sexy..."
• I'm digging the light blue border. Sincerely.

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmm. Minimalist.

Page 123~

He has no time to waste. He is anxious to expend himself. He puts his lips to the young girl's breast and, bending his body like a bow, shoots arrow after arrow into the soft flesh.

If you run a sex writing workshop, well, good news: I found your "Don't."

~RP

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Paperback 887: Replenishing Jessica / Maxwell Bodenheim (Avon 191)

Paperback 887: Avon 191 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: Replenishing Jessica
Author: Maxwell Bodenheim
Cover artist: [Phillips & Troeger / Troeger-Phillips]

Estimated value: $12-15

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• Let's see … how to replenish Jessica? Sure, I'd say FIVE MEN oughta do it.
• This appears to be the story of how the Flash got married, settled down, and got a steady job with an insurance company. "Is this what you wanted, baby?" he seems to ask.
• The most reliably informed reseller of vintage paperbacks on abebooks describes this book as a "SEX and HEROIN NOVEL," so … that's unexpected. And brings the total to two—two possible ways to replenish Jessica.
• The only reason I still attend crossword tournaments is so that Doug Peterson can slip me some vintage paperback contraband in a dingy little plastic bag. It's all quite (appropriately) sordid.

Best things about this back cover:

• Shakespeare looks dubious about the literary merits of the publishing enterprise to which he has affixed his mug.

Page 123~

"This new school does away with all of the old qualms and quandaries, and we can certainly accomplish more when we know that sex is, well, is only the violent servant that we've hired for purposes of recreation."

Actually, the violent servant you've hired is named Tony, and it'll be $300/hr.

~RP

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Paperback 886: The Girl From Midnight / Wade Miller (Gold Medal s1221)

Paperback 886: Gold Medal s1221 (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Girl from Midnight
Author: Wade Miller
Cover artist: Robert Abbett

Estimated value: $20

Best things about this cover:

• Houston, we have Hair Failure.
• She has my hairline.
• Not sure how you manage to make naked lady with giant cat look like an alien extra on "Star Trek: TNG," but here we are.
• Where the hell is Midnight?
• Kitty thinks you're hilarious.

Best things about this back cover:

• Seriously, just scooch her wig forward like an inch and you're in business.
• Rand Hammond is like something out of a Square-Jawed Sap Name Generator.
• I like the idea of Rand Hammond working quietly in his veterinarian's office when suddenly a naked bipedal cat just drops from the ceiling.

Page 123~

"His name's Wingy Heller, alias the entire phone book. Anybody remember him?"

~RP

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Paperback 868: Framed In Blood / Brett Halliday (Dell 578)

Paperback 868: Dell 578 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Framed in Blood
Author: Brett Halliday
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Estimated value: $10

Best things about this cover:

• "Mmm hmm, I'd like to frame *that* in blood … wait, that came out creepy."
• Sideboob. Someone call HuffPo.
• "Was it an accident she left the door open? … I mean, it's like she *wants* me to furtively masturbate in her living room or something."
• And when the fairy princess finished her Tai Chi, Mike knew he'd wasted his time.

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmmmapback!
• Mmmmmiami!
• Mmmmike Shayne!
• Mmmmmasturbation! (see cover)
• Oooh, Ned Brooks' apartment. That *is* interesting.

Page 123~

Shayne's sore face muscles rebelled at an attempt at a wry grimace.

In fact, most of Mike's muscles rebelled at the shit Mike tried to do. You see, Mike was an idiot, and...

~RP

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Paperback 749: Satan's Child / Peter Saxon (Lancer 73-764)

Paperback 749: Lancer 73-764 (PBO, 1968)

Title: Satan's Child
Author: Peter Saxon
Cover artist: Jeff Jones (Jeffrey Catherine Jones)

Yours for: $15

Best things about this cover:

• Can't a girl rub her naked bottom on dandelions in peace around here!
• No need for pepper spray or a handgun when you've got Smoke-jaguar.
• Is that behelmeted guy out walking his Smoke-jaguar or shape-shifting into a Smoke-jaguar?
• It's like Rosemary's Baby. Only with more orange. And a Smoke-jaguar.
• One of my all-time favorite fantasy paperback covers, despite/because of its looniness. Love the orange, love the enigmatic man/jaguar/smoke hybrid, love the not-all-that-worried sunbather.
• Only just learned that Jeff Jones was (later in life) Jeffrey Catherine Jones (a trans woman). Fascinating story. She died in 2011. Comics Journal obit here.

Best things about this back cover:

• That is a pretty great use of empty space—like a womb holding the embryonic "Seedling From Hell." 
• Ooh, terrible vengeance! That's my favorite kind!
• You're gonna have a hard time finding a greater name in all of literature than "Pricker Gill.

Page 123~

"All of it!" Finlay cried hoarsely. "I wager it all."

Silently his companions met his wager—and threw down their hands. They were identical—and identical to his own.

Finlay's mouth dried and he gave a little groan of despair. "I … I thought I must win."

~RP

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Paperback 725: The Case of the Lazy Lover / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 909)

Paperback 725: Pocket Books 909 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: TCOT the Lazy Lover
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: Clyde Ross

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• That dude has my ultimate respect. That is some top-notch lazy. Superfly PJs. Highball. Slippers. Smart green couch. He knows what he's doing.
• That look in her eye is not lust. It's not annoyance. It's jealousy. Jealousy of his Red Hot Lazy.
• I can't stop looking at her boobs, and yet I don't find them very interesting. What the hell?

Best things about this back cover:

• That "Gossip … / and Murder!" heading would look great on a t-shirt.
• Hmmm. I'm not sure we have the same definition of "crazy punchline."
• What does it mean to be "lazy about making love"? I'm quite sure the images in my head do not match whatever happens in this book.

Page 123~

Mason took the pass Lieutenant Tragg scribbled, and went over to the detention ward. After a ten minute wait, he was taken in to see Mrs. Allred, who had quite evidently been aroused from a sound sleep and had had no opportunity to put on her make-up.

Wow. That must've been really hard on Mason.

~RP

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Paperback 689: The Left Hand of Satan / Mark Lucas (Saber Books SA-88)

Paperback 689: Saber Books SA-88 (PBO, 1964)

Title: The Left Hand of Satan
Author: Mark Lucas
Cover artist: Uncredited (he did a *lot* of late Sabers...) [Bill Edwards]

Yours for: $30


Best things about this cover:

• The only thing that explains the hilariously amateurish quality of this painting, with its complete disdain for perspective (how tall *is* that man?!), is that it was painted by the left hand of Satan, and Satan is right-handed.
• Don't look too long at that headboard—it will confuse you and while you are thus addled Satan will steal your soul (presumably with his left hand).
• Nick is not a plausible mate for anyone, let alone either of those ladies. 
• "I finished painting your hallway ultra-bright yellow, ma'am, I just ... oh, excuse me, ma'am, I didn't know you had company. I'll go clean your gutters now. OK? OK." [backs out slowly].
• This is post-Sanford Aday Saber. Instead of interesting, politically-minded, sexually-provocative sleaze, we now just get sleaze for sleaze's sake, i.e. dull porn. Seriously, his publishing empire went Hilariously downhill after his obscenity conviction. 

Best things about this back cover:

• "Ordained minister"—so you know this shit is going to be Filthy.
• How is anyone "born with unconventional standards"? Predilections, sure, I guess, but "standards?" Those can't be inborn. Those are culturally determined. This has been "Overthinking It," with Rex Parker. See you next week.
• "The school of Lesbians and male homosexual students is growing"—Class Sizes Are Limited, So Enroll Now!
• Never in a million years would *Aday* have published a book with this faux-moralizing judgmental crap on the back. He veered toward sympathy and understanding, where this ... ugh. "Your kids are in danger! Read this porn to find out how!"
• Who green-lighted this back cover concept. "It'll have the color gradients of Fire!" "Will it be legib...?" "Shhhh .... FIRE!"

Page 123~

"This is what I was thinking about, when I was trying to go to sleep. How could I go to sleep when every muzzle in my body was begging for you?" 

"The word is muscle, baby, and when I get started with you, you won't be able to say scat," Nick said, taking her into his arms.

Ever muzzle in my gut wants to say scat to this guy.

~RP

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Paperback 688: Never to Belong / James Williams (Fabian Z-135)

Paperback 688: Fabian Z-135 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Never to Belong
Author: James Williams
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $50 (actually, Not for Sale — don't think I'm ready to part with this one)


Best things about this cover:

• Pristine book from my favorite sleaze paperback publisher—Sanford Aday (publishing out of Fresno CA before eventually being convicted of trafficking in obscenity) was always trying to be sensational with the sexual themes of his books. He published a lot of stuff dealing with homosexuality, cross-dressing, miscegenation, etc., some it written by women authors, black authors, etc. He Was So Unusual. As I've told you before, he used the pages of his books to wage a battle against censorship—not just in the themes of the novels he published, but in the little essays and clippings he'd include in the backs of his books detailing court victories he or others had won against the government. In this book, he has forgone much of that back matter but still has a little note to his readers asking for feedback and proclaiming, "we are going to keep on giving you what you want to read as long as it is within our power to do so." He probably knew his publishing days were numbered. I just love the idea of waging a one-man battle for sexual openness and tolerance using only the medium of ... the sleaze paperback. He's kind of my hero.
• Not sure I've seen the word "mulatto" on a cover before. Remember when we subcategorized black people based on skin color?! Good times.
• Love the way the woman's skirt flies up. Fabian cover paintings are not generally known for their, uh, quality, but I like the suggestion of motion here. 
• Also, bald dude's face is Priceless.

Best things about this back cover:

• Awkwardest ellipsis ever.
• This is surely the greatest book ever about mule-skinning, whatever that is. Ooh, turns out a mule-skinner is just someone who drives mules, also called a "muleteer" (hmmm, this puts "Mouseketeer" in a whole new light) or "arriero."
• Crossword folks will be excited by this new cluing possibility for MAE.
• "High-towning it" is a great phrase I would like to bring back. I shall use it every time I'm determined to raise me a whole bunch of hell.

Page 123~

Louisiana was a rough place for a colored man to get into trouble with the law.

Hashtag understatement.

~RP

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Paperback 620: My Bare Lady / King Coral (Bee-Line 110)

Paperback 620: Bee-Line 110 (PBO, 1966)

Title: My Bare Lady
Author: King Coral
Cover artist: Uncredited

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)


Best things about this cover:

• Eliza Wear-Little! [pats self on back, whispers 'nailed it.']
• Lose the evil-octopus wig, put the pants *on*, ditch the belly-scratching doofus, and we're in business!
• Best word on this cover: "desert." 
• This cover looks like it's covered in a horrible white film. I know. I KNOW. Gross.
• King Coral! I loved her 1971 album, "Tapas Tree."

Best things about this back cover:

• One of the greatest taglines of all time.
• Ordinary women know nothing of Naked. Nothing! Why, it involves lotions, unguents, pulleys, dry ice, oxen ...
• Teacher of tricks! For my first trick ... Disappearing Dignity!

Page 123~

Light, tender, soft little caresses and moist warm kisses were bestowed and received by our bodys, with no force, and no searching.

Come for the passive voice, stay for the improper pluralization!

~RP

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Paperback 567: The Whipping Boy / S.E. Pfoutz (Popular Library 821)

Paperback 567: Popular Library 821 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: The Whipping Boy
Author: S.E. Pfoutz
Cover artist: that guy that did a lot of Popular Library covers in the '50s ... always wore a shirt ...

Yours for: $9

Best things about this cover:

• The tragic stair-falling scene from Mickey Spillane's final novel: "Mike Hammer: The Big Knee Replacement"
• Meanwhile, in the background: "I'd like to cross your color line, baby." "I ... don't know what that means. Please leave." "Oh, alright. Hey, do you think I'm OK to drive? Here, smell my breath, haaaaaaaaaaaah..."
• I feel like the author's name is some kind of code I'm supposed to break.
• This is the most unracial racial cover ever. "Did we say 'color line'? We meant big, bold primary colors—the blue THE, the red WHIPPING ... it's about a boy who likes to make whipped cream. Why do you have to make everything about race?"

Best things about this back cover:

• "I ... I can't decide. Do I stay with midget Vulcan or run off with black Jerry Seinfeld?"
• "A talented young Negro," HA ha. "Wow, you are really good at being Negro."
• Why would you go with "piercingly honest" when "frank" is so much more concise? "Frank" novels should just call themselves "frank" and quit hiding behind these flowery euphemisms. This message brought to you by Proud Frank Americans for Frankness. Thank you.

Page 123~

"Don't get funny with me, lover boy," said the creature, leering. "I know your kind from way back."

~RP

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Paperback 565: The Third Sex / Artemis Smith (Beacon 649)

Paperback 565: Beacon Books B649F (2nd ptg, 1963)

Title: The Third Sex
Author: Artemis Smith
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25
Best things about this cover:

• Joan was excited about embarking on her new life as a Lesbian superhero, but disappointed at the costume prototype.
• Seriously, in what context, outside magician's assistant, would one wear that?
• You can tell Joan is gay because she's named after the famous lesbian heroine Joan of Arc. You can tell Marc is gay because no straight Mark would be caught dead with that spelling outside of France. This is all to say that I don't think they were "fooling" anybody. 
• "Artemis Smith" screams 'pseudonym.' Artemis hangs out (often naked) only with the ladies, and Smith ... is the pseudonymoustiest name in the book.
• "Society's greatest curse?" Tell that to the legions of masturbators who bought this thing.
• Speaking of "The Third Sex," I'm still hunting for a pre-1980s usage of the phrase "lipstick lesbian." I'll admit, I'm using "hunting" here rather loosely. What I mean is, "occasionally flipping through some books I have." Anyway, I know the phrase was in use decades before the '80s, and I want proof!

Best things about this back cover:

• "Surcease" made me LOL hard.
• "Strange Annals of Love" = the Judas Priest cover band Marc plays in on weekends
• On the front cover, the naked girl in the bed looks fantastic. Here, she looks like a mermaid who's been in a bad accident.

Page 123~

They finished their coffee and left the luncheonette.

I know it's not the sexiest or most outrageous sentence in the world. I just like the word "luncheonette."

~RP

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Paperback 555: The Saracen Blade / Frank Yerby (Cardinal C-124)

Paperback 555: Cardinal C-124 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: The Saracen Blade
Author: Frank Yerby
Cover artist: James Meese

Yours for: $10

Best things about this cover:

• Steve was quick to anger when people insulted his empty-swimming-pool harem. "It's a spatial commentary on the ways the traffic in women occludes ... oh you did *not* just roll your eyes at me! En garde!" 
• Steve erupted in anger when the judge of the No T-shirt Contest gave him only a 5.
• MC Hammer closes in on the man who stole his pants. "Please, Hammer ... don't hurt me."
• There is a paperback cover phenomenon I call "black hand"—it's a subset of "mystery hand." The mysterious / exotic Other reaches in from the margins ... oh you did *not* just roll your eyes at me!
• This cover follows the old paperback cover art maxim: bondage must enhance boobage.

Best things about this back cover:

• It's slightly unusual to have to have the back cover relate the scene depicted on the cover. It's highly unusual to have the back cover *tell* you that's what it's doing (possibly because it seems insultingly redundant)
• "And even when he did think—which, admittedly, wasn't often—..."
• Compound adjectives can be things of beauty. Then there's "adventure-crammed."

Page 123~

"You're not a stranger," Gautiette said mildly, "and I shall need your aid. The truth of the matter, good Pietro, is that Toinette has disappeared..."

"It's a hairspray, it's a perfume, it's a home perm, it's ... Toinette!"

~RP

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Paperback 522: Hope of Heaven / John O'Hara (Avon 258)

Paperback 522: Avon 258 (1st thus, 1950)

Title: Hope of Heaven
Author: John O'Hara
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $10

Best things about this cover:

• She's stuck somewhere between sexy strip-tease and "I need help with my coat jackass why are you just standing there staring?"
• It's a shame she's caught in this awkward in-between state, because if she'd just put the jacket back on and turn around, I bet she'd look stunning. Also, if she just took it off, probably same.
• She is lit *beautifully*; gives her a fantastic angelic/demonic quality (the deep red backdrop helps with the "demonic" part). 
• Dude's hair is shiny.

Best things about this back cover:

• I love DON MILLER so much right now. I want to see him in a film noir right now.
• I kind of want someone to tell naive me what it means that James Malloy "still wondered whether Karen had dimples on her knees," and then again I kind of like just using my imagination.
• "Frankness!" O man, I've missed "frank"—feels like it's been a while.

Page 123~

   "I'll give you the address of my agent. If you get in a bad jam, I mean you're badly on the nut or something like that, you write me care of this guy, and I'll let you have some more. On one condition."
   "That I never bother Peggy. I know. And thanks for the offer, but I'll never bother you, either. I don't think I will. If I do, don't send me any money. It'll only go for booze. That's what this is going for."
   He had half a load on now, but was carrying it well.

Is this DON MILLER? God I love this guy. "It'll only go for booze." Nosce te ipsum, Don Miller!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

P.S. Page 120 has this gem, of special relevance to me and my geographical situationality:

"But by that time I didn't give a God damn. I was one of those fellows, give a dog a bad name, and by that time I was living off a whore in Binghamton, New York." [this last phrase is underlined in pen–the only such phrase in the whole book]

Paperback 481: The Shame of Mary Quinn / Clifton Cuthbert (Pyramid 28)

Paperback 481: Pyramid 28 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: The Shame of Mary Quinn
Author: Clifton Cuthbert
Cover artist: [Hunter Barken]

Yours for: $11

Best things about this cover:

• The powerful story of a boy who would not give up his beloved chair no matter how many half-naked magic tricks his sister did.
• The shame of Mary Quinn was her gigantic pasties—all the other strippers laughed at her, and even her most loyal patrons turned away in disgust.
• "Climax is tremendous!"—this is why Unnatural Love is so hard to give up ...

Best things about this back cover: 

• Wow. That's frank.
• "This book is about some dirty shit, but it's written in complete sentences and doesn't have curse words, so you don't have to feel so guilty."

Page 123~

They went to the bed and she looked past him to the wall, his embrace impersonalized for her. His painful grasp recalled her, she noticed his loving was rough and ill-tempered, and suddenly she took joy in it.

God, even rough sex can't withstand the withering assault of clunky, amateurish writing.

~RP

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Paperback 475: Sex in the Shadows / Randy Salem (Beacon B799X)

Paperback 475: Beacon Books B799X (PBO, 1965)

Title: Sex in the Shadows
Author: Randy Salem
Cover artist: Al Rossi

Yours for: $50

Best thing about this cover:

• "Fine, turn away, but you're never going to miss these painted-on capris, baby, I promise you!"
• "'According to Jim!?' You're watching 'According to Jim!?' You disgust me. I'm going to Margo's."
• Wait, is Ivy the older lesbian's name? Or do older lesbians prowl the way that ivy ... prowls ... up the walls of colleges and ballpark walls?
• "Gee, my hair smells terrific."
• I'm still trying to work out the symbolism of the orange throw pillow.

Best things about this back cover:

• "... and certainly no hero ..." is a great line. "Don't worry—no man parts for as far as the eye can see!"
• Searching! Scorching! It's not Frank! But it does have a character named Francine, which is something.
• I know that when I think of lesbians, the first image that pops into my head is: brawls.

Page 123~

I was thinking of Martha and me and how we must look to that wise old moon—just two more grains of sand on a desolate stretch of beach, two flecks of nothingness.

"Two Flecks of Nothingness" should've been the title — "It's like Seuss meets Sartre meets coastal lesbians," says Michiko Kakutani

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 473: Warped / Michael Norday (Beacon B280)

Paperback 473: Beacon B 280 (PBO, 1955)

Title: Warped
Author: Michael Norday
Cover artist: Clement Micarelli

Yours for: $50

Best things about this cover:

• This is some golden age, bullseye, right over the plate, vintage lesbian paperback amazingness. Fantastic art, cool staggered-letter title design, and cover copy that alliterates like there's no tomorrow. Plus great lesbian code words like "twilight" and "twisted" and "strange" and "tormented" and "warped"; roughly half the vintage lesbian paperbacks in existence have at least one of these words in their titles (I made that stat up, but it feels right)
• I love the dramatic tension between these two women—the knowing, smug, hungry eyes of the tomboyish old pro, and the coy-yet-curious eyes of the frillier girl in the foreground. Her guarded posture suggests modesty, but her exposed and pushed-up boobs and her visible garters suggest ... something else. 
• That is one ugly bed. And pillowcase. They are far too hot to be making out in grandma's bed.

Best things about this back cover:

• Again, great design. A bit text-heavy, but I love the pink touches.
• I applied to Fern Mar, but got rejected. Dames only, apparently. I am, however, only too familiar with the "disgrace of an unwholesome campus weekend."
• Hell yeah, passion-ridden women!

Page 123~

A sudden panic swept over her. She remembered the look in Estrada's eyes when he had talked about Gwen up at O'Keefe's training camp. A sudden fury burst inside her. "Damn you! Where is she? Where—"

"Relax, baby. Relax."

Wait, lesbians have training camps? That's awesome.

~RP

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Paperback 472: The Woman Racket / Gil Lawrence (Pyramid G468)

Paperback 472: Pyramid G468  (PBO, 1959)

Title: The Woman Racket
Author: Gil Lawrence
Cover artist: Miller (?)

Yours for: $25

Best things about this cover:

• The doctor's eyes! It's like he wants to blow that damned needle.
• The painting of the girl is actually pretty damned hot. I Love her dress. And her ... what is that, a datebook? 
• "Fury With Legs": an abstract concept that can get up and walk around!? Tell me more ...
• I like to think the girl is being pursued by Fury With Legs, mostly because she looks more like someone about to die in a horror movie than she does a girl going to get an abortion in pre-Roe v. Wade America.

Best things about this back cover:

• If you want to spice up your nouns, just put "Flesh" in front of them. It'll really make your flesh prose pop. (See!?)
• Shocking, brutally honest ... but not frank.
• Who is this "Miller" person and what does he have against first names?

Page 123~

I weighed the assets and demerits of the polygraph machines. "Yes," I told him finally. "I think it's a good idea. Lie detectors are good for snotty kids."

See, an ordinary writers would've just gone with "pros and cons," but this guy is a thesauristic master: "assets and demerits!" All hail unnatural usage! (Also, I'm imagining the polygraph industry's awesome ad campaign: "Lie detectors: They're good for snotty kids!"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]