Paperback 1155: Poirot Loses a Client / Agatha Christie (Dell 6984)

Paperback 1155: Dell 6984 (1st thus, 1974)

Title: Poirot Loses a Client

Author: Agatha Christie

Cover artist: [William Teason]

Condition: 8/10

Value: $5

Best things about this cover: 

• Found her!
• Rube Goldberg's grandma-killing machine—surprisingly effective
• Well, the bad news is that grandma has come back from the dead. The good news is that her flexibility has improved considerably!

Best things about this back cover: 

• Who Would Want to Kill a Nice Old Lady? A novice murderer, probably. Someone who's only just taken it up. An old lady seems like a good starter murder.
• Why are there always seven people and why are they always at a manor? You'd think they'd all have some kind of inkling, like "hey ... this feels ... kind of murder-y, right?"
• I want to read this just to find out why Poirot was (apparently) so horny for this client. "Poirot channels his sexual frustration ... into justice!"

Page 123~

"Poirot," I said, "I'll begin a sentence with 'Are you sure?' Are you sure you are not being carried away by professional zeal? You want it to be murder and so you think it must be murder."

To which Poirot replied, "Now I'll begin a sentence with 'Fuck off, you insufferable twit,' ..."

~RP

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Paperback 674: The Red House Mystery / A. A. Milne (Dell D321)

Paperback 674: Dell D321 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: The Red House Mystery (The Dell Great Mystery Library Number 25)
Author: A. A. Milne
Cover artist: William Teason

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• Bored? High? Dead? High? Mannequin?
• Yes, that A. A. Milne.
• You might remember this as one of the mystery novels that Chandler absolutely decimates in "The Simple Art of Murder"

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmm. Key porn.
• The nightmarish carpet pattern continues.
• "The Dell Great Mystery Library" was decidedly conservative, their covers respectable and dull.

Page 123~

In the time at his disposal, he could have done no more than put it away in a drawer, where it would be much more open to discovery by Antony than if he had kept it in his pocket.

The "it," of course, is a tube of KY—the slipperiest McGuffin.

~RP

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Paperback 175: Murder After Hours / Agatha Christie (Dell 5922)

Paperback 175: Dell 5922 (1st ptg, 1965)

Title: Murder After Hours
Author: Agatha Christie
Cover artist: William Teason

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Worst Weapon-Hiding Place Ever
• "Hey, watch me make the horse shoot bullets out his butt!"
• This cover was painted using primarily leftover "Exorcist" vomit
• Teason specializes in these odd little still lifes featuring unlikely groupings of objects. There appears to be, in addition to the horse sculpture/gun, a riding crop, a rag, a tabloid story about someone who was "MURDERED," and a bent playing card (King of Hearts)

Best things about this back cover:

• They always suck me in with their geometry teasers: "It looked like an ordinary triangle ... but it was scalene!"
• Apparently the "triangle" is a sculpture of human flesh
• "Sculptress"! Remember when the idea of a woman's doing anything of note outside the home, especially anything creative, was so unusual that it required flagging with a suffix? Why they don't call Christie an "authoress," I don't know.

Page 123~

Oh no, thought Midge, it can't be true. It's a dream I've been having. John Christow, murdered, shot - lying there by the pool. Blood and blue water - like the jacket of a detective story. Fantastic, unreal ...

~RP

Paperback 164: The Boomerang Clue / Agatha Christie (Dell D340)

Paperback 164: Dell D340 (1st ptg, 1960)
Title: The Boomerang Clue
Author: Agatha Christie
Cover artist: William Teason

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• Well, there's something you don't normally associate with Agatha Christie: BONDAGE.
• I love love love how her arms coupled with the back of the chair form a (very ironic) valentine! The red background only heightens the effect. Don't even get me started on how she kinda looks like a Catholic school girl who is at least mildly ashamed of the predicament she has gotten herself into... Or is that a look not of shame, or fear, but of coyness? Clearly, I have my own, private version of the story of how she came to be in that chair.
  
• Most of my Teason covers (lots of late 50s/60s Dells) don't have people on them. Clearly he should have done more people. The hands alone are gorgeous.

Best things about this cover:

• More broken windows!
• Random rope - did she escape!?
• I love how the copy on the back cover is typeset as if it were a poem

Page 123~

"To begin with," said Bobby, plunging [ed.: !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!], "I'm not really a chauffeur although I do work in a garage in London. And my name isn't Hawkins - it's Jones - Bobby Jones. I come from Marchbolt in Wales."

The story of a golfing legend gone deep, deep undercover.

~RP

Paperback 117: Bodies and Souls / ed. Dann Herr & Joel Wells (Dell 0656)

Paperback 117: Dell 0656 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: Bodies and Souls
Editors: Dann Herr & Joel Wells
Cover artist: Teason

Yours for: SOLD 9/18/10


Best things about this cover:

• Finally, a paperback that deals seriously with the lingering problem of the Manichean Heresy.
  
• "Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, [Willard / Ben / Templeton / other rat name you can think of]"
• Hmmm ... uh ... I guess this cover's got a rat. And a skull. And a candle. Those elements hold a certain visual interest.
• If you like brown, this is the book for you.
• This book is another good example of why paperback design starts sucking some time around 1960. Art becomes more like stock footage. Text starts dominating the cover in un-thought out and ugly ways. Quit shilling for the "Doubleday Crime Club" and give me the beautiful cover art I deserve! 50 cents for a paperback?! What am I, a Rockefeller?

Best things about this back cover:

• When I want an authoritative literary opinion, I always turn to [squints to read fine print] the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer!
• This reviewer is sadly and humorously unaware that "catholic" in fact means "universal." I know the reviewer meant "Catholic" in religious terms ... but precision of word choice matters, even if you do only work for the Columbus Daily Muffin.

Page 123~

from "The Finger of Stone" by G.K. Chesterton

"Have you heard the news I say," rapped out the doctor. "Boyg is dead."

Gale stopped in a sentence about Gothic architecture, and said seriously, with a sort of hazy reverence:

"Requiescat in pace. Who was Boyg?"

~RP