Showing posts with label Gray hair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gray hair. Show all posts

Friday, June 21, 2019

Paperback 1045: Abnormal Lover / Clark Connor (Merit Book 507)

Paperback 1045: Merit Book 507 (2nd ptg, 1961)

Title: Abnormal Lover
Author: Clark Connor
Cover artist: "Sloane" (uncredited)

Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $20-25

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Merit Books 507
Best things about this cover:
  • Jesus H, what kind of corset injury did she suffer as a young woman!?
  • I love how she's like, "Yeah, they're stretch marks, so what!? I don't see you looking away!"
  • I'm all for that vest-only look, but the pants seem a little ... bunchy.
  • O god, her hand! Was that part of the corset accident!? I'm just glad she overcame adversity and went on to live her truth.
  • "Bru-" is killing me. KILLING ME. How are you this bad at layout!?
  • I assume her left pinky is the "point of perversion" in question.

Merit507bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • Better in black and white
  • And the winner for Worst Compound Adjective in a Back Cover Blurb goes to ...
  • I love how proud the artist ("Sloane!") was of this painting. "Y'all aren't cropping out my signature, dammit. I WILL LIVE THRU THE AGES!"
Page 123~
"I can't, Raymond. I don't have time to see Art Meric. I have to leave on a trip. A very important trip, Raymond!"
A long silence.
"What's wrong, Raymond? Raymond! Raymond!"
"I"m not going to be IGNORED, Raymond..."

Also

šŸŽ¶"Everywhere around the world / They come to see Art Meric-a"šŸŽ¶

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Paperback 949: Play the Sin Field / Drew Deskins (Spartan Line SL134)

Paperback 949: Spartan Line SL134 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Play the Sin Field
Author: Drew Deskins
Cover artist: presumably

Estimated value: No idea. Somehow, I have TWO copies of this, and yet there are NO copies at abebooks. :(
Condition: 8/10

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

SpartanSL134
Best things about this cover:
  • Holy crap, I only *just* realized that this is supposed to be a pun on the phrase, "play the infield." Before, I thought a. wow, they just threw the word SIN in to a perfectly good phrase and ruined it, how stupid, and b. wow, SIN is a really truly terrible pun for "out."
  • I love this woman. We should all be this confident. (i.e. confident enough to wear pasties that clash with our evening gloves).
  • Wanton nymphos are the best kind of nymphos. Them prim nymphos ain't no fun at all.

SpartanSL134bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • Ah, the Insane Phrase Bookend blurb. I should create a tag for these things. They are a truly great part of American literary history. I assure you Hemingway could never have come up with "SIN GUESTS"; not in his whole, adulturous life.
  • P.S. "orgiastically"

Page 123~

"I want you to lay me right here and now," she said softly and he fell on her, his malehood jutting and pulsating, as he inched it within her eager body.

You'd think you'd be laughing too hard to properly masturbate to this stuff.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Paperback 722: Strange Longing / Orrie Hitt (Chariot Books CB-1626)

Paperback 722: Chariot Books CB-1626 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Strange Longing
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $25

CB1626

Best things about this cover:
  • This was also the cover for Axilla Fetishist Monthly (April 1963)
  • One thing about saran wrap lingerie is: the itch.
  • Man I wish the girl in the dark in the back ground were more in the light in the foreground.

CB1626bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Oh, don't mind me, I just wandered over to this side of the room and got tangled in the drapery somehow."
  • Seriously, what is happening there?
  • "Bunny soft"— I'm laughing quite hard right now.
  • Ladies, if you really wanna sex up your bedroom patter, call it "the portals of the 'forbidden world'!"

Page 123~
"I don't do the kind of dances they'd want."
"Who cares about dancing? The men don't come inside the tent for that."
They got into another bottle of rye and Emily paraded around the room.
~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Monday, April 2, 2012

Paperback 514: Restless Women / John Falcone (Wizard 408)

Paperback 514: Wizard 408 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Restless Women
Author: John Falcone
Cover artist: Uncredited [awfully Gene Bilbrew-esque]

Yours for: Not for Sale (Gift to the Collection from Doug Peterson)


Wiz408.RestlessWom
Best things about this cover:
  • What is it with the seriously ugly dudes on these covers lately. Looks like someone put a rubber mask on that guy and then punched him in the face til he died.
  • He's dead, lady. He doesn't care about your stupid seashell fan.
  • So they've brought a mattress and a ... turkey? game hen? ... to the beach?
  • Top woman's body is insane. Looks more like braided challah than human flesh.
  • Looks like half of your "four-woman harem" has gone missing already, buddy. You kind of suck at this. Maybe you should wake up. Oh, right, you're dead.



Wiz408bc.RestlessW
Best things about this back cover:
  • Magenta woman stands under giant magenta feather / waterfall. No one knows why.
  • If you never thought there was such a thing as "appositive abuse," check out that third paragraph.
  • "Nocturnal nude swim" = when technical writers are hired to write porn.

Page 123~

But as Lola went on, he made a conscious effort to shut it out of his mind. This kind of drivel could spoil a man's breakfast. He motioned to the waiter for more coffee. Lola kept droning on. If she was an actress, he was a giraffe.

If the front cover illustration is anything to go on, I'm buying "giraffe" before I'm buying "Movie hero" who juggles "four demanding sex machines at once." I mean, have you tried juggling sex machines?! Very slippery.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, September 3, 2010

Paperback 347: The Race of Giants / Matt Kinkaid (Dell First Ed. A118)

Paperback 347: Dell First Edition A118 (PBO, 1956)

Title: The Race of Giants
Author: Matt Kinkaid
Cover artist: Sam Bates

Yours for: $10

DellFA118.RaceGiants

Best things about this cover:

  • "... do you smell something funny? Hmm ... probably just my mustache. No, wait, my ass is on fire."
  • Wow, he is a giant—keeps a herd of cattle in his back pocket.
  • Love how he Fills the frame; also love the partial view of the horse. Not so keen on being able to see his long johns, but whatever.


DellFA118bc.Giants

Best things about this back cover:

  • "Blood on his hands ... money on his mind!"
  • Not the most realistic flames, but they are pretty.

Page 123~

Julius made a small sound of grim satisfaction. "Here comes the wagon."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]