Paperback 942: Q.B.I. / Ellery Queen (Pocket Books 1118)

Paperback 942: Pocket Books 1118 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: Q.B.I.
Author: Ellery Queen
Cover design: Milton Herder

Estimated value: $5-8
Condition: 5/10

Best things about this cover:

• It's like the F.B.I. but queer. I imagine.
• This cover wins awards for "Most Visible Thumbprint" and "Best Kempt Cilia"
• Where can I get one of these switchblade micro-monocles? Judging by this guy's pupil dilation, they seem fun.

Best things about this back cover:

• Type script is best.
• No Nouns Allowed Without Adjectival Guardian
• Kid Naping. That word *never* looks right to me.

Page 123~ (first line of "Dying Message Dept.: G. I. Story")

Ellery swung off the Atlantic State Express in his favorite small town disguised by earlaps, muffler, and skis, resolved that this time nothing should thwart his winter holiday.

You'll Never Guess What Happens Next! (spoiler: holiday thwarted)

~RP

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Paperback 939: The 13th Immortal / Robert Silverberg // This Fortress World / James E. Gunn (Ace Double D-223)

Paperback 939: Ace Double D-223 (PBO / 1st ptg, 1957)

Title: The 13th Immortal / This Fortress World
Author: Robert Silverberg / James E. Gunn
Cover artists: [Ed Valigusrsky / Ed Emshwiller]

Estimated value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• Look familiar? (see Paperback 938)
• On line at the Genius Bar: "It won't reboot."
• I wanna do a coffee table book of old scifi art called "When Robots Looked Cool."
• Actually this one only looks cool above the waistline. Down below, things are a little spindly.

Best things about this other cover:

• You do not want to make an illegal throw-in in space soccer. The penalty's pretty harsh.
• Love the guy's double fear-hand (which are really shock-hand, but I'm gonna say "close enough").
• The nose-high black latex suit really completes the "Intergalactic Sexual Sadist" look.

Page 123~ (from The 13th Immortal)

One crushing fact rolled down on Kesley like a shock wave. One fact.

Please enjoy this eternal cliffhanger.

~RP

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Paperback 933: Between Planets / Robert Heinlein (Ace 05501)

Paperback 933: Ace 05501 (1st thus, ca. 1970)

Title: Between Planets
Author: Robert A. Heinlein
Cover artist: Steele Savage (!)
Frontispiece artist (!!!): Clifford Geary

[Part of the Laura R. Braunstein Collection]

Est. value: $5-10

Best things about this cover:

• Nice dismount, Space Jesus!
• Someone was So High when they designed this.
• "So, like, the dragons have eyes, but then those eyes have eyes ... like, seven eyes ... and the dragons are swimming through, like, an algae-covered pond toward a tiny floating city, and then there's this muscly space preacher in a hot orange spandex body suit who's like 'AMEN!' ... oh my god this is gonna be sweet."

Best things about this back cover:

• Not to bring the room down too much, but this is really poorly written. It's like a 10-year-old trying to summarize a story.
• I see now why they needed the psychedelic nutjobbery of the front cover—to offset this soporific nonsense.
• "Don, the hero of this story" is an improbable sentence.

Bonus feature ... FRONTISPIECE!

Best things about this frontispiece:

• Oh, man, I'm gonna be having man-goat-chicken nightmares for days now...
• The twin dildos on top really tie the whole look together.
• The human appears to be unzipping his fly. I'm now a little worried for man-goat-chicken.

Page 123~

Involuntarily Don grunted with pain.

Choose your own context!

~RP

Paperback 930: Beyond the Night / Cornell Woolrich (Avon T354)

Paperback 930: Avon T-354 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Beyond the Night
Author: Cornell Woolrich
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $35 (slightly scuffed but essentially unread; beautiful)

Best things about this cover:

• Double Fear Hand!
• It's like a flood light is 8 inches from her head. No wonder her left eye exploded out of its socket.
• The Ghost Was An Undertaker Who Wore a Virtual Reality Headset!

Best things about this back cover:

• Your lips are sealed, eh? Well MY LIPS DESTROY!
• "When she beckoned, dick had to follow." Wow. That is one powerful seductress.
• SOMEBODY'S CLOTHES!—the tale of a woman who has seriously had it with doing your fucking laundry.

Page 123~ (from "The Number's Up")

She was a blonde, good-looking and mean-looking, both at the same time.
"C'mon," she said huskily. "Let's go while the going's good."

As opposed to the blonde who alternates dizzyingly back and forth between good- and mean-looking. *That* girl's hard to be with.

~RP

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Paperback 839: Man from Tomorrow / Wilson Tucker (Bantam 1343)

Paperback 839: Bantam 1343 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: Man From Tomorrow
Author: Wilson Tucker
Cover artist: Uncredited

Approximate value: $6-10


Best things about this cover:

• "OK, so main guy shoots beams out of his eyes, and then the lady in his head shoots beams out of her face and … I don't know … let's say, whirlpool aliens wicker man done. Got it?"
• This floating head has his own internal floating head. That's pretty high-end.
• Font colors are wicked stupid.
• Ooh, this novel "tells of something which may be happening now." Ooh, is it Armageddon? Winter? The Greater Rochester Arts & Crafts Festival!? I'm gonna have to read this.

Best things about this back cover:

• And the razor frisbee takes out another alien.
• "Perhaps" … way to sell it!
• The Paul Breens = your next band name.

Page 123~

Paul wondered if this new woman in the adjoining apartment would be a plant.

"A ficus, maybe," he fantasized.

~RP

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Paperback 820: Strangers on a Train / Patricia Highsmith (Bantam 905)

Paperback 820: Bantam 905 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Strangers on a Train
Author: Patricia Highsmith
Cover artist: Stanley Zuckerberg

Yours for: $17


Best things about this cover:

• That dude wins Best Everything at the Paperback Cover Art Oscars. Best Eyes, Best Facial Expression, Boniest Hands, Best Gun-Caressing, Best Damned Trousers On The Planet, etc.
• What year is it? She looks she just walked out of a saloon circa 1889.
• This cover reminds me that I really need a flask. Bourbon is never close enough at hand.

Best things about this back cover:

• Even the handwriting is "tense and frightening."
• "Superbly Revolting" is my new go-to ambiguous pseudo-compliment.
• You can't really see what the original hardcover art was like, but I assure you, it's pretty bleeping ugly. And no Demented Trouser Guy, so … I'll stick with the cheap stuff, thanks.

Page 123~

He longed to merge his life with hers.

And the winner for Best Euphemism goes to …

~RP

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Paperback 724: Live With Me / Jerry M. Goff, Jr. (Merit 612)

Paperback 724: Merit Books 612 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Live With Me
Author: Jerry M. Goff, Jr.
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $27


Best things about this cover:

• I honestly don't know what I'm looking at. Unless her bra straps clasp behind her head like some kind of necklace, I can't see why her elbows are up that high. Is she making her boobs do a little dance performance? Her companion seems intrigued.
• Those are some straight-up terrible hands. Or hand, I guess. Hands are always the giveaway. Only the best artists can do hands right. The reason for the giant boobs and Krazy Eyes is to distract you from the terrible, terrible hands. 
• That left boob has a mind of its own. It seems to be experiencing the gravitational pull of the artist-lady's gaze.
• What is up with that lady's gown? Here is the dialogue I like to imagine they are having: "I like your gown." "Thank you." "Are you headed to a ball?" "Balls don't interest me much … if you know what I mean …" 

Best things about this back cover:

• Hey look, it's the artist lady, back from Barbados and possessed by twelve demons!
• "… lovely, normal and stunning …" ??? Can't wait for all the red hot normality.
• So basically Suzanne Pleshette goes on a telekinetic lesbian rampage. Got it.

Page 123~

"Tell us. Does she wash your back when you bathe? She did the other girls. That was always her first approach."

"Her second approach involved ball gowns, sketch pads, and mind control. I'm a little fuzzier on the details there…"

~RP

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