Paperback 1012: Only For Money / Mark King (Unique Books 146)

Paperback 1012: Unique Books 146 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Only For Money
Author: Mark King
Cover artist: [looks like Eric Stanton, but I dunno...]

Condition: 6/10 (tight but warped)
Estimated value: ~$25-30

Best things about this cover:

• Septuagenarian Barbarella brings grave tidings to Boris and Natasha's bondage party
• There are so many things to say about this cover, and yet my eyes are having a hard time seeing anything but that hat / cape combo.
• HatCape: for when your shoulders, mouth (!), and head are cold, but your boobs need air!
• HatCape: for when you want to look sexy, but talking would only ruin it!
• It's like three extras in three different low-budget genre flicks decided to meet up outside for a smoke break. Or like three porn actors have not been given sufficient direction: "Do you want to ... should we ... I mean, we're dressed like this, I assumed ... wait, why is there a trash can here? This does not make me feel sexy..."
• I'm digging the light blue border. Sincerely.

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmm. Minimalist.

Page 123~

He has no time to waste. He is anxious to expend himself. He puts his lips to the young girl's breast and, bending his body like a bow, shoots arrow after arrow into the soft flesh.

If you run a sex writing workshop, well, good news: I found your "Don't."

~RP

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Paperback 999: All Shot Up / Chester Himes (Ace T-434)

Paperback 999: Avon T-434 (PBO, 1960)

Title: All Shot Up
Author: Chester Himes
Cover artist: Uncredited (!!) (update: appears to be work of George Ziel)

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $65-80

Best things about this cover:

• Gah, so great. So so great. Multiple scenes of hot hardboiled greatness. Tough-guy mug, sexy naked lady, trenchcoat gunfight ... bar! All the good things.
• Chester Himes is fantastic. Coffin Ed and Grave Digger are unique and important figures in the history of detective fiction. Badass *and* hilarious. Their dialogue is amazing, as are their razor-sharp observations on race relations in the city. Highly recommended.
• Either that dude is holding the wrong end of the cigarette or he's holding a very tiny test tube.

Best things about this back cover:

• Big on alliteration, this copywriter. First babes bourbon and bullets, now hailing in Harlem...
• "Eight—Count 'em, eight—corpses." Eight, OK, I believe you, eight. Jeez. Don't get so defensive.
• "Skidding on ice and breathing fire"—which Game of Thrones book was that?

Page 123~

"I'd rather be bit in the rear by a boa constrictor than sitting here waiting for something to happen, and I can't even guess what," he complained bitterly.

It's a boa constrictor ... I mean it can bite, sure, but ... it's kind of known for ... the other ... oh nevermind.

~RP

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Paperback 821: Tiger Street / Trevor Elleston (Lion Books 207)

Paperback 821: Lion Books 207 (PBO, 1954)

Title: Tiger Street
Author: Elleston Trevor
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• Richie: "Whaddya think of my left thigh, lady? See this tendon on my inner thigh, here? It's been gettin' a pretty good stretch in my yoga classes. This is kinda how I do Warrior 2. I got good form, don't ya think? And my sweater's pretty nifty too."
• Richie: "Jimmy, she ain't sayin' nothin.'" Jimmy: "Hey lady, he's showin' ya his yoga thighs. Tell him he looks nice. That's just common courtesy. Hey, you got a light? These matches don't work so good."
• She doesn't have "fear hand" so much as "backing away as far as I can hand."
• The original version of this painting just had the one trashcan, but then the art director was all, "Needs more trashcan." And thus the viewed-through-the-legs trashcan was born.
• Tiger Street! The Musical! "Walk up a staircase / Make out in a doorway / Pick fruit from a trashcan / Show off your firm thighs … Tiger Street!"
• Love the background. Street design is pretty stylized, but still has tons of nice detail. I especially like the awnings and fire escapes.
• This cover features ten people. Find them all. Go!

Best things about this back cover:

• This was their HOUR of HELL!—that one time they interrupted "Real Housewives" for some stupid Presidential Address. Worst Hour Ever!!!
• Sorry, no, I am not buying that a human being has the name of "Vosper." Maybe he's literally an "animal," 'cause I might buy "Vosper" as a pet's name. Maybe.
• First there were dark rumblings, then there were quiet rumblings. What other kinds of rumblings might this novel contain!? Start reading at once, before you stop caring.

Page 123~

"Quietly, mate—push the door to—you saw the blood, yes, where?"
"Over there by—"
"All right, stay there will you … yes, I see, and this in the crack, too, eh? What else, Cliff?"

First, this guy's super-bossy. Second, there's something painfully anticlimactic about "Cliff."

~RP

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Paperback 666: Dark Quarters / Stella Hampton (Fabian Z-117)

Paperback 666: Fabian Z-117 (PBO, 1957)

Title: Dark Quarters
Author: Stella Hampton
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• "Uh, yeah, I got a letter here addressed to "Sidewalk"—that you?"
• "... newspapers were her bed; her hair, a badger pelt." 
• "Dark niches" HA ha. Subtle.
• "As a child, dancing for her grandparents earned her shiny pennies ... but as a young woman, she earned naught but DARK QUARTERS."

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmm, early Fabian books had such an awesomely low-rent, DIY vibe. 
• Victims of their own success—"So many of you want the sleazy, badly written books we produce that we can't keep up w/ your orders! Long live barely literate perverts!"
• This is from the era before publisher Sanford Aday got convicted of trafficking in obscenity—when the end matter of his books was chock full of long disquisitions on free speech and obscenity laws, and clippings of news about Supreme Court decisions, etc. Also, he occasionally documented his own legal struggles: "... the jury acquitted as to the book Rambling Maids and voted nine to three in favor of The Strange Three and Turbulent Daughters!" Take that, Ulysses!

Page 123~ (nah ... way too boring ... here's p. 27)

"Put your hand on my breast, Steve. You want to, don't you?"

"Yes, but ..."

"Just a little,—feel it like it's something you've never felt before."

"Squeeze it like a pastry bag, you cowardly bastard!," she cooed.

~RP

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Paperback 608: Sleep in Thunder / Ed Lacy (Tempo T48)

Paperback 608: Tempo Books T48 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Sleep in Thunder
Author: Ed Lacy
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Are Tempo books for children? Why does this shout "young adult" at me? The rainbow logo, maybe. I know, rainbow should shout "gay," but it doesn't. I don't know what's going on here. Some kind of visual tone problem.
• "Psst, kid. You dropped your left arm back here."
• Nothing about this cover says "Sleep" or "Thunder." It does, however, say "Grime." "Hide in Grime," I'd call it. 
• Why would you make the figure in the foreground *by far* the least interesting thing about your cover?
• I'll give this cover one thing: it captures the essence of Alley (now that's a fragrance I might wear: Essence of Alley).
• I love how "EDGAR" is in quotes, like it's not quite a real thing. "So-called..."
• Kid has "Fear Hand."™

Best things about this back cover:

• "José"? "Juan"? Makes me realize how invisible Hispanics are on mid-century paperbacks. 600+ entries, and only one is tagged "Hispanic" (!?!?!). Oh, wait, two westerns are tagged "Mexicans." That's ... more than one. But none of them are what you'd call mainstream paperbacks from major publishers. Just an observation.
• I'm not sure this Big Fuchsia Text Jutting Into Regular Black Text thing is working.
• "One of death's many grotesque angles"—I really want a chart depicting these angles. I mean, *really* want a chart ...

Page 123~

José licked the leaves, which didn't help his thirst much. When he returned to the room downstairs he took the pot with him, for the plant seemed as lonely and forgotten as himself.

I'm ... a little worried for what José's gonna do to that poor plant.

~RP

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Paperback 562: Summer Street / Hal Ellson (Ballantine Books 27)

Paperback 562: Ballantine Books 27 (PBO, 1953)

Title: Summer Street
Author: Hal Ellson
Cover artist: Robert Maguire

Yours for: $12

Best things about this cover:

• "Aw, gee whiz, Summer. I didn't know this was your street. OK, OK, I'll leave. Golly, it's gettin' so's a fella can't practice his Fonzie poses nowheres!"
• "Aw, gee whiz, it's Miss McGillicuddy. Now she's gonna know I'm playin' hooky. OK, Billy, c'mon, get it together. Just play it cool. No eye contact. Stare broodingly into the distance and she'll just walk on by ..."
• "Billy, get back in the house. Your dungarees need washing."
• I believe "emotional awakening" is '50s code for "awkward, furtive sexual experiences."
• "SHE ... was an angel in lime green chiffon. HE ... was a telepath who could move trash cans with his mind. Together, they ruled ... Summer Street!"
• The great Bob Maguire! This cover is from his ... lesser period.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Well, go on. You said you'd die for me, so ... don't just sit there. Here, I'll give you a push. 1, 2, 3 ..."
• "The water sure is murky, Gloria. Murky like our hearts on account of we're star-crossed but I'm from the wrong side of the..." "Shut up, Billy. You gonna jump or what?"
• "His mother's confining affection..." — uh oh. "Mom, I need a real girl. One I'm not related to."
• I can't believe this cover doesn't tell us the book is "frank." "Unusual honesty and understanding" is sooooo something a "frank" story would contain.

Page 123~

In another moment she would fling herself upon him if he did not read the note. He lowered his eyes and found he had guessed right, though the message was not worded as expected. Simply and directly, it said: "Do you want to? Yes or no?"

Long story short—he does want to, and there follows one of those 1950s sex scenes that is all indirection and euphemism, all "avalanche of fire" and "plunging creature" and "swelling within himself" and "tremendous surge as if all that was himself had burst." The best part is that he comes first, but she won't stop until she comes too, so of course: "It was then that fear enveloped him again." No wonder he has that traumatized look on his face. "My genitals and I need some time alone, Miss McGillicuddy."

~RP

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Paperback 559: The Promoter / Orrie Hitt (Beacon Books 142)

Paperback 559: Beacon Books BB142 (PBO, 1957)

Title: The Promoter
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: Walter Popp

Yours for: $20
Best things about this cover:

• "So ... you're here for the free Tai Chi lesson?"
• I love his smugfuck face: "What can I say? It's like the tagline says, I love my work."
• I like her. I really hope she takes all his money and leaves him tied up and half-naked in that room.
• Love the trash can peeking out from around the corner. Just in case you thought this story was classy.
• "On the surface she was all smooth legs and orange sweaters, but deep down inside, she was ... the Teen Temptress of Trash Town."

Best things about this back cover:

• ZZZZZZZddZZZzzzzZZZZZZZap!
• Oh, you crazy kids and your cellar clubs (!?!).
• "Cellar club" sounds like a serial killer's euphemism for "place where I keep the bones of my victims."
• "His best weapons were women ... sure, they're a little cumbersome, but once you learn to swing one you can do some Serious damage."

Page 123~

Nothing further was known about her until she had appeared in the city, five years previously, and had set herself up in the model agency business. Her credit rating vouched for the fact that she had been successful—No one had any outstanding bills against her. Her association with Andy Willis who, by the way, was from Billings, Montana, had been a routine thing.

People forget there was a time in American history when being from Billings, Montana was considered fascinating and exciting, possibly because that time never actually existed.

~RP

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