Paperback 617: Ski Gigolo / Lew Lessing (Kozy Books K109)

Paperback 617: Kozy Books K109 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Ski Gigolo
Author: Lew Lessing
Cover artist: Uncredited

From The Doug Peterson Collection (new acquisition)


Best things about this cover:

• Baby, it's cold outside. But also hot. And it's formal, so you'll need heels. Perfect!
• Capt. Kirk's younger brother Gordie had an elf fetish and took a Lot of drugs.
• Purple and green. Just ... 'cause.

(And now for the back cover. Brace yourselves ... if you suffer from coulrophobia, you'll want to look away now. Trust Me.)


Best things about this back cover: 

• I know.
• I know.
• When Doug handed me this book this past weekend, a bunch of us spent several gasping minutes trying to figure out just what the hell we were looking at.
• "Did somebody call a shirtless doctor clown?"
• "They ran out of clown hats, so I just got one of them oversized drink umbrellas. Looks good, right? Yeah, I see you like it. What you doin', crunches?"
• Good luck getting that chest hair out of your brain tonight.

All appearances to the contrary, this is not the cover of a second book. It's an ad (???) for another book in the Kozy series. You can decide for yourself if the final cover is any less soul-chilling:

I know. Tough call, right?

Page 123~ (of Ski Gigolo, just to be clear)

[I'm literally laughing as I open the book, before I've even read a word...]

He had just begun to feel the tactile pleasure of touching her.

Later, he would enjoy the ocular pleasure of looking at her.

But wait, there's more:

Kurtz forgot about the noises outside. The touch of Dorothy was too distracting, the pleasure too intense at being able to touch the pelvic region and feel the firmness of her skin respond with an involuntary twitch. 

Somehow this all seems like it goes better with the doctor-clown cover. "It's time for Dr. Laffs to touch your pelvic region until your skin twitches involuntarily. Baby."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 489: Madame / Ben Berkey (Kozy Books 161)

Paperback 489: Kozy Books K161 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Madame
Author: Ben Berkey
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $10

Best things about this cover:

• The German soliders were mesmerized by her astonishing shadow puppetry skills. "Oooh, that's a swan. Lovely."
• Wow, those are some perfectly spherical, gravity-defying tits. And they're sprouting! Chia-Tits!
• I love it when a stripper manages to coordinate her shoes and her pasties.
• I like the blond G.I. Josef in the foreground. You know he's important because he's the only one sitting in a recliner.
• I love the decor. They've painted the walls a lovely shade of Despair.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ugh, this flaccid prose. Make it stop!
• Wait, how did "passion" come before "desire?"— "I'm not really turned on yet, but if I just keep dry-humping you, I'm sure it'll come along."
• Too much "seeming!"
  If you want to turn a guy on, try literally placing your lips inside his ear. Guaranteed not to creep him out and make him recoil in primal horror.
• What did she say!?!?! Vickie!!!!! Speak up! Vickiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee! (you see how invested I am...)

Page 123~

At the barrier, Lettie Muller and Frank Killdare indulged in small talk, with the Lieutenant gone to talk to the guard, Killdare felt a trifle shy in her presence [1]. Certain incidents [2] that had occurred between them in the past [3] now came to the surface [4] with crystal clearness [5]. He had an uncomfortable feeling [6] that the girl also felt that way. He was soon to find that he had guessed right [7].

• [1] Jeez, run-on much?
• [2] I kill my students for this kind of vagueness, especially when said "incidents" are Never, Ever named, come on!
• [3] Yes, that's when most events tend to have occurred.
• [4] Of ...?
• [5] In America, we say "clarity," but go on ...
• [6] Not unlike what one feels reading this tone-deaf prose.
• [7] "I often make girls feel uncomfortable, so the odds were in my favor, really," he said at the post-game press conference.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 220: Frenchie / Aaron Bell (Kozy Books K171)

Make-Your-Own-Commentary Experiment, Part IV - add your thoughts on this book in the "Comments" section (man, I am so jealous of you guys right now - you have no idea how hard it is to hold off from commenting right now)
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Paperback 220: Kozy Books K171 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Frenchie
Author: Aaron Bell
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $18



Page 123~

"There are no others, John. Just you, and I, and my fiance [sic]."

"Your fiance [sic]?" said Robertson, stunned at the news.

"Why not? I have no romantic ties with anyone else. That is. [sic] I don't think I have."

~RP