Title: Ski Gigolo
Author: Lew Lessing
Cover artist: Uncredited
From The Doug Peterson Collection (new acquisition)
Best things about this cover:
- Baby, it's cold outside. But also hot. And it's formal, so you'll need heels. Perfect!
- Capt. Kirk's younger brother Gordie had an elf fetish and took a Lot of drugs.
- Purple and green. Just ... 'cause.
Best things about this back cover:
- I know.
- I know.
- When Doug handed me this book this past weekend, a bunch of us spent several gasping minutes trying to figure out just what the hell we were looking at.
- "Did somebody call a shirtless doctor clown?"
- "They ran out of clown hats, so I just got one of them oversized drink umbrellas. Looks good, right? Yeah, I see you like it. What you doin', crunches?"
- Good luck getting that chest hair out of your brain tonight.
All appearances to the contrary, this is not the cover of a second book. It's an ad (???) for another book in the Kozy series. You can decide for yourself if the final cover is any less soul-chilling:
I know. Tough call, right?
Page 123~ (of Ski Gigolo, just to be clear)
[I'm literally laughing as I open the book, before I've even read a word...]
He had just begun to feel the tactile pleasure of touching her.
Later, he would enjoy the ocular pleasure of looking at her.
But wait, there's more:
Kurtz forgot about the noises outside. The touch of Dorothy was too distracting, the pleasure too intense at being able to touch the pelvic region and feel the firmness of her skin respond with an involuntary twitch.
Somehow this all seems like it goes better with the doctor-clown cover. "It's time for Dr. Laffs to touch your pelvic region until your skin twitches involuntarily. Baby."
~RP
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9 comments:
1. The Ski Gigolo guy makes me think of Scott Bakula. Still Star Trek related, just not Capt. Kirk's younger brother.
2. No matter which picture of Summer Islanders I look at, I still can't come up with a reason for the woman to be in such an uncomfortable and unnatural position.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNUr__-VZeQ&t=0m7s
Little known fact: Kozy books pioneered outsourcing way back in the late 50's, early 60's. By that time American soft-core porn writers were demanding way too much money. A thriving population on Bangladesh would write entire libraries of smut for what one book would cost if written by an American.
Sure, you get sentences like "He had just begun to feel the tactile pleasure of touching her". In the original Hindi, it was more along the lines of "He got wood whenever he touched her". Still, you get the point.
Since these were bought by 14yo boys, did it really matter?
The lady on the 'Ski Gigolo' cover is one of the most blatant "artist delivers a cover with too much skin, publisher gets busy with the black ink" jobs I've ever seen.
In fact, the additional shoddiness of the hat and gloves makes me think that maybe this was unused(?) artwork for some other book entirely, and they just threw on some quick references to coldness, ski-ness etc to fit the theme, and bingo.
This made me laugh so hard I had tears streaming down my face.
You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that anyone, anywhere, is crying-laughing over this stuff. That's the Holy Grail reaction. Awesome.
This is why women do yoga--so we can get busy with the doctor clowns, unencumbered. All of us.
Everytime I see the name Kurtz, I think about Marlon Brando.
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