Title: Easy Women!
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: photo cover
From The Doug Peterson Collection (new acquisition)
Best things about this cover:
- Strangely, the part of all this nutso text that made me laugh hardest is "... ON IT!"
- So ... they're a bunch of lazy welfare queens, but they have orgies 24/7?! They sound ... industrious, at the very least.
- That 10,000,000 number is less impressive when you consider he wrote about 100,000 books.
- I love the design on this, in the way that I love completely inexplicable things. I've never seen text obscure my view of the action quite so much as it does here. I think people are making out next to the blond woman's left cheek ... but who can say?
- I love how the one book Orrie Hitt has been dying to write is probably the one people have been least dying to read. "You know what this sleaze paperback needs more of? Ayn Rand." Said no one ever.
Best things about this back cover:
- Hang on, let me get my reading glasses and a cup of cocoa.
- I need to get ahold of "Animal Broad" and "Giant Orgy" asap.
- "Novel Books: Books for men who really like being men with other men in a way that is "virile" but *completely* not gay."
- I love how it's all "man" this and "man" that re: welfare, but of course the book is all about sluts.
- "You'll applaud his condemnation of their 24 hour-a-day orgies!"—oh, OK, so it's not a solid 24 hours of orgying, but one hour of orgying a day for 24 days. That's a *much* more reasonable orgy schedule.
Page 123~
He had learned the meaning of power that night in Emily's room [1], the raw power of anger [2], and when he had reached home he had found love in his wife's arms, a wife who had smelled of scotch but who no longer drank [3].
[1] 50 Shades of Orrie!
[2] Uh oh ... someone go check on Emily.
[3] So either she started drinking again or some Scotch-slathered brute 24-hr-orgied her. You can guess which scenario I prefer.
~RP
P.S. the spine reads "A NOVEL BOOK / IS A MAN'S BOOK!"—At this point, I'm surprised they didn't just cover the whole book in cocks.
[Follow Rex Parker at Twitter and Tumblr]
4 comments:
I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have my own "Collection."
As someone pointed out at the crossword tournament... LIFE-IN-THE-RAWEST is 15 letters long. Seed entry!
I'll never look at the phrase "seed entry" the same way again, Doug. Thanks for that.
rp
That back cover, folks, is why you don't center text longer than five lines.
And why you have an editor.
The two sides of the bra the brunette is trying to fasten are never going to meet.
Post a Comment