Paperback 1137: Tormented Bride / Myron Kosloff (First Niter 218)

Paperback 1137: First Niter FN 218 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Tormented Bride

Author: Myron Kosloff

Cover artist: [Gene Bilbrew]

Condition: 9/10

Value: $100

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• OK, we got us a good one here.
• I adore the middle-aged middle school teacher whose spectacles are about to pop off her face. She's so excited about this tight-skirted, belted-coated spectacle of a woman that she's grabbing Betty's arm to make sure she sees. Betty has definitely seen.
• Are the ladies at the bar? Behind the bar? The stools are on this side, but they're on the other side. And the bartender appears to be on the same side they are. At least I think dough-faced hyena man is the bartender. He's got epaulets, which says "uniform," which says "maybe he works here." Anyway, the layout of this bar is all kinds of off.
• Actually, the closer you look, the more things are bizarrely, creepily off. What is our strutting lady doing with her left foot. It's landing at a right angle to her direction, which basically ensures that ankle breakage awaits her in the near future. And those heels. Jeeeeezus. No human could walk in those. She's fully on tip toe and the heel is still on the floor.
• Then there's the inexplicable side of the booth (?!), which creates a huge arced swath of white on this cover—a shit-ton of negative space that adds nothing to the composition and bears no resemblance to anything you'd find in reality. Speaking of "you'd never find it in reality," that blue-faced dude in the bottom-left. That's a lot of face for a seemingly marginal dude. Definitely creeps up the joint even further.
• I think the strutting lady and the bartender have just come from the first and possibly last ever meeting of the "World's Smallest Necktie" club. He's laughing because his necktie was narrower by 3mm. Better luck next time, Tormented Bride!

Best things about this back cover: 

• Oh great, as if things weren't disturbing enough, we're just leading with RAPE
• Thank you, Lord, for granting unto us the phrase "whirlpool of perversia." Your magnanimity is truly overwhelming.
• "Excuse me, can you tell me which way to perversia? ... Just turn left at the light? Great. And do you know if they have a whirlpool there? ... Yes? Excellent." 
• Tracy Gilbert, leather-clad dominatrix. Leather! Lesbians! BDSM! Minuscule neckwear! Is there any kink this book doesn't have?? 
• Why would you try to "escape" the "bonds of lesbianism" with "boyish Olive Thurston"? Who gave you that advice?
• And it all ends in "pie" because of course it does.
• "Twilight World!" My favorite queer codeword is back with a leather-clad vengeance!

Page 123~

    "I—do you want me to do something?"

    He caught his breath. "Like what?"

    She hesitated. Then: "You know. Relieve you."

!?

~RP

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Paperback 999: All Shot Up / Chester Himes (Ace T-434)

Paperback 999: Avon T-434 (PBO, 1960)

Title: All Shot Up
Author: Chester Himes
Cover artist: Uncredited (!!) (update: appears to be work of George Ziel)

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $65-80

Best things about this cover:

• Gah, so great. So so great. Multiple scenes of hot hardboiled greatness. Tough-guy mug, sexy naked lady, trenchcoat gunfight ... bar! All the good things.
• Chester Himes is fantastic. Coffin Ed and Grave Digger are unique and important figures in the history of detective fiction. Badass *and* hilarious. Their dialogue is amazing, as are their razor-sharp observations on race relations in the city. Highly recommended.
• Either that dude is holding the wrong end of the cigarette or he's holding a very tiny test tube.

Best things about this back cover:

• Big on alliteration, this copywriter. First babes bourbon and bullets, now hailing in Harlem...
• "Eight—Count 'em, eight—corpses." Eight, OK, I believe you, eight. Jeez. Don't get so defensive.
• "Skidding on ice and breathing fire"—which Game of Thrones book was that?

Page 123~

"I'd rather be bit in the rear by a boa constrictor than sitting here waiting for something to happen, and I can't even guess what," he complained bitterly.

It's a boa constrictor ... I mean it can bite, sure, but ... it's kind of known for ... the other ... oh nevermind.

~RP

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Paperback 925: The Thin Man / Dashiell Hammett (Perma Books M4202)

Paperback 925: Perma Books M4202 (1st ptg, 1961)

Title: The Thin Man
Author: Dashiell Hammett
Cover artist: Harry Bennett

Estimated value: $15-20 (perfect, square, bright)

Best things about this cover:

• Nick looks like I feel these days. "Fuck all this. Where's the bar?"
• The color shading on this is all kinds of weird. Conventional figurative art that looks like it's been cut out of a magazine by an 8-year-old and then glued into the white rectangle.
• Joey Backwards chair is explaining certain anatomical facts about himself to Millie Sweetgams, much to her amusement.
• ASTA!

 Best things about this back cover:

• Bah. Same.
• Cover is cropped weird. Very close to lopping off lettering on the left.
• "When you were wrestling with Mimi [!?] didn't you get excited." "Oh, a little." Man, between front and back covers, you'd think "The Thin Man" were subtitled "All About Boners."

Page 123~

"Good God, no! She hates men more than any woman I've ever known who wasn't a Lesbian."

Sorry, fans of movie-Nick. Didn't mean to startle you with book-Nick's dickishness. Mix a cocktail and drink until you forget you ever read the above quote.

~RP

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Paperback 873: Case of the Village Tramp / Jonathan Craig (Gold Medal 930)

Paperback 873: Gold Medal 930 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Case of the Village  Tramp
Author: Jonathan Craig
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• Detective Peter Selby prepares to add another tiara to his collection.
• Detective Peter Selby could use a new mattress too, actually, now that he thinks of it.
• Today this apartment goes for $1.8 million.
• I want to go to the Village Bar. Right now. I think Detective Peter Selby does too.
• One Red Shoe is paperback code for TRAMP (I guess).

Best things about this back cover:

• The belt.
• "Small *black* pumps? [Looks at cover] Aw, crap, someone get the art department on the phone!"
• I feel like "this was the Big Sleep" needs a HUGE asterisk next to it.

Page 123~

"You're talking to the wall, lover," she said. "Good-by and good luck."

Another great line I insist you use today. I need to start a compilation. Maybe a line of t-shirts.

~RP

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Paperback 821: Tiger Street / Trevor Elleston (Lion Books 207)

Paperback 821: Lion Books 207 (PBO, 1954)

Title: Tiger Street
Author: Elleston Trevor
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• Richie: "Whaddya think of my left thigh, lady? See this tendon on my inner thigh, here? It's been gettin' a pretty good stretch in my yoga classes. This is kinda how I do Warrior 2. I got good form, don't ya think? And my sweater's pretty nifty too."
• Richie: "Jimmy, she ain't sayin' nothin.'" Jimmy: "Hey lady, he's showin' ya his yoga thighs. Tell him he looks nice. That's just common courtesy. Hey, you got a light? These matches don't work so good."
• She doesn't have "fear hand" so much as "backing away as far as I can hand."
• The original version of this painting just had the one trashcan, but then the art director was all, "Needs more trashcan." And thus the viewed-through-the-legs trashcan was born.
• Tiger Street! The Musical! "Walk up a staircase / Make out in a doorway / Pick fruit from a trashcan / Show off your firm thighs … Tiger Street!"
• Love the background. Street design is pretty stylized, but still has tons of nice detail. I especially like the awnings and fire escapes.
• This cover features ten people. Find them all. Go!

Best things about this back cover:

• This was their HOUR of HELL!—that one time they interrupted "Real Housewives" for some stupid Presidential Address. Worst Hour Ever!!!
• Sorry, no, I am not buying that a human being has the name of "Vosper." Maybe he's literally an "animal," 'cause I might buy "Vosper" as a pet's name. Maybe.
• First there were dark rumblings, then there were quiet rumblings. What other kinds of rumblings might this novel contain!? Start reading at once, before you stop caring.

Page 123~

"Quietly, mate—push the door to—you saw the blood, yes, where?"
"Over there by—"
"All right, stay there will you … yes, I see, and this in the crack, too, eh? What else, Cliff?"

First, this guy's super-bossy. Second, there's something painfully anticlimactic about "Cliff."

~RP

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Paperback 761: Guys and Dolls / Damon Runyon (Pocket Books 1098)

Paperback 761: Pocket Books 1098 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: Guys and Dolls
Author: Damon Runyon
Cover artist: photo cover / unknown

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• Brando unsure about quality of doll's breath!
• I sort of kind of love this art/photo hybrid. Also, the Vincent Price-esque title font. Random.
• LOVE the full-body "fuck off, boys" pose of the be-stoled smoking doll. Classic.

Best things about this back cover:

• Well, it's … uh … not particularly soiled or torn. That's something.
• "Master of the Main Stem" — not a phrase I'd ever really want to be called.
• Lusty Slice was my favorite Slice Girl.

Page 123~

Dave the Dude is more corned than anybody else, because he has two or three days' running start on everybody. And when Dave the Dude is corned I wish to say that he is a very unreliable guy as to temper, and he is apt to explode right in your face any minute. But he seems to be getting a great bang out of the doings.

When your corned, a great bang is just the thing.

~RP

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Paperback 704: Harlem Underground / Ed Lacy (Pyramid R-1220)

Paperback 704: Pyramid R-1220 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Harlem Underground
Author: Ed Lacy
Cover artist: Harry Schaare

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Sleeper hold!
• Interesting variation on the noir street scene. You got your bar and your rain-slicked streets (or so I imagine), but apparently in Harlem there are brown/purple overtones, sliced through with neon red. Interesting effect.
• Not one but *two* floating heads. Highly unusual.
• I like how the big floating head appears to be looking down on some earlier version of himself, going "Damn, did I do that? That's cold."
• You can see Schaare's signature right under the big head's right eye. Unless that says "Espresso." It's pretty smudgy.

Best things about this back cover:

• Wait, *I*'m a rookie cop? But I already have ... OK, fuck it, sure, I'm in.
• As street names go, "Purple Eye" seems kind of limp.
• There's something quaint about how much terror the word "H-Bomb" apparently packed in 1965. Also, do H-Bombs have fuses? Serious question.

Page 123~

Breathing deeply I not only wanted to get out of Harlem, I wanted to take a rocket away from our mixed-up planet. 

Again with the cold war / space race fantasies. This book is adorable.

~RP

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Paperback 672: The Jugger / Richard Stark (aka Donald Westlake) (Pocket Books 50149)

Paperback 672: Pocket Books 50149 (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Jugger
Author: Richard Stark (Donald Westlake)
Cover artist: Harry Bennett

Yours for: Not For Sale (part of the "Parker PBO" collection)


Best things about this cover:

• A bizarre constellation of color. Bit too much white space, but I kind of enjoy almost abstract feel to this one. Say what you will about Harry Bennet—he had a Style.
• Dude in foreground is ominous. Nice isolation of the billy club. Guy reminds me of any number of corrupt Jim Thompson sheriffs (a redundant phrase, I realize).
• This is another of my Powell's purchases. Paid too much for this one. Don't care. Must. Have. All. Parkers.

Best things about this back cover:

• It think my main objection to this era of Pocket Books is the ghastly base color of the spine (and, here, back cover). Pure puke.
• That "art" is useless.
• "Tiftus" is a fantastic name.
• "...the eyes of a pickpocket and the mouth of a whore." Dang. Vivid.

Page 123~ (actually p. 23, as p. 123 disappears between chapters)

Damn Tiftus! He kept talking all the time, talking as though he knew exactly what he was talking about, but he never said anything. Jabber jabber jabber, and nothing coming out.

Stark does great third-person subjective. Man, I gotta get back into this series. I took a break to read Gaiman and Questlove, and Aslan's Jesus bio comes out Tuesday ... stop writing for a second, people! I need to catch up.

~RP

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Paperback 641: The Blue Kimono Kill / Walt Sheldon (Gold Medal k1546)

Paperback 641: Gold Medal k1546 (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Blue Kimono Kill
Author: Walt Sheldon
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $15


Best thing about this cover:

• "Honey, we need to talk. Don't be made but ... it's about your lipstick."
• Mmm, chick-flavored.
• And the winner of this cover is: The Lantern.

Best things about this back cover:

• God save me from a text-only back cover, ugh.
• "But Marlin's academic career didn't last long. For, you see, Marlin was a fish."
• Adjective of the Day: "Zen-spouting."

Page 123~

"You strike me as a man who could be brave, Marlin, in, let us say, the face of crude torture."

"Let us not say, and then say that we did," countered Marlin.

~RP

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Paperback 612: Martinis, Manhattans or Me? / Barbara O'Brien (Zebra 0013)

Paperback 612: Zebra Books 8468-0013 (PBO, 1974)

Title: Martinis, Manhattans or Me? 
Author: Barbara O'Brien
Cover artist: Boobshot McGee [photo cover]

Yours for: $75


Best things about this cover:

• Um, I'm gonna have to try them all and see...
• What's truly awesome about this cover is how normal-pretty she is. She's not all fakely sexed-up, the way you might expect on a cover of this nature. Cleavage, sure, but that's practically modest by today's standards. 
• I really want to hear what's being said in that background conversation between Cap'n Blue Tracksuit and Missy Surprised Drunkface.
• Font! Those dots on the Is are the best I-dots ever—martini-shaped!
• This book is apparently pretty rare. It's also in wicked good condition. Hence the $$$ it would take it to pry it from my hands.

Best things about this back cover.

• I'm pretty sure I will guess, and I'm pretty sure I'll at least be in the ballpark.
• Prince should write a song called "Lady Bartender."
• You can tell "how much man you're getting" by the drink he orders??? Is this on the Zima-WhiskeyNeat scale?
• If this website ever hosts some kind of Mid-Century Paperback Insanity-type party, I promise to make drinks from this book.
• I opened to a random page just now and the first line I saw was "Sounds kind of groovy." Also, quick thumbing through revealed words such as "sumbitch" and phrases such as "withdrew his cock," so ... literati, take note.

Page 125~ (much better than 123, trust me)

Karen was a really bigger-than-life Great Fuck. Another reason for her immense popularity with customers was her agreeable attitude toward sex. Karen simply adored going to bed. She dug fucking. She liked it, enjoyed, desired, and gave her single-minded concentration to the act of fucking.

"She was indifferent to many things; fucking was not one of them. No fuck-hater, she. Etc."

~RP

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Paperback 392: The Leather Burners / Bliss Lomax (Century Western 54)

Paperback 392: Century Western 54 (1st ptg, 1947)

Title: The Leather Burners
Author: Bliss Lomax
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• It's like two guys at a Flamboyant Ascot convention are having a chummy discussion about fabric texture: "Go on, feel it with your knuckles ... hey, easy, not so hard, I paid 6Gs for this. Persian silk. Etc."
• If this is a fight, it appears to have begun with a drink dispute—specifically, with the question of which is the manlier drink: Miller Lite or a whiskey sour? Unsurprisingly, whiskey sour man is kicking ass.

Best things about this back cover:

• In case you were wondering about the plausibility of my ascot scenario, I give you: Rainbow.

Page 123~

Rainbow saw Lint Granger stumble and go headlong. Grumpy was at the sheriff's side in a flash. Lint was heavy, raw boned, but Grumpy picked him up in a single movement, hurled him forward toward safety.

I wish this book were called "A Man Named Lint." Who *wouldn't* read that?

Not sure what kind of character-naming prowess I expect from a guy named "Bliss."

~RP

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