Title: The Left Hand of Satan
Author: Mark Lucas
Cover artist: Uncredited (he did a *lot* of late Sabers...) [Bill Edwards]
Yours for: $30
Best things about this cover:
- The only thing that explains the hilariously amateurish quality of this painting, with its complete disdain for perspective (how tall *is* that man?!), is that it was painted by the left hand of Satan, and Satan is right-handed.
- Don't look too long at that headboard—it will confuse you and while you are thus addled Satan will steal your soul (presumably with his left hand).
- Nick is not a plausible mate for anyone, let alone either of those ladies.
- "I finished painting your hallway ultra-bright yellow, ma'am, I just ... oh, excuse me, ma'am, I didn't know you had company. I'll go clean your gutters now. OK? OK." [backs out slowly].
- This is post-Sanford Aday Saber. Instead of interesting, politically-minded, sexually-provocative sleaze, we now just get sleaze for sleaze's sake, i.e. dull porn. Seriously, his publishing empire went Hilariously downhill after his obscenity conviction.
Best things about this back cover:
- "Ordained minister"—so you know this shit is going to be Filthy.
- How is anyone "born with unconventional standards"? Predilections, sure, I guess, but "standards?" Those can't be inborn. Those are culturally determined. This has been "Overthinking It," with Rex Parker. See you next week.
- "The school of Lesbians and male homosexual students is growing"—Class Sizes Are Limited, So Enroll Now!
- Never in a million years would *Aday* have published a book with this faux-moralizing judgmental crap on the back. He veered toward sympathy and understanding, where this ... ugh. "Your kids are in danger! Read this porn to find out how!"
- Who green-lighted this back cover concept. "It'll have the color gradients of Fire!" "Will it be legib...?" "Shhhh .... FIRE!"
"This is what I was thinking about, when I was trying to go to sleep. How could I go to sleep when every muzzle in my body was begging for you?"
"The word is muscle, baby, and when I get started with you, you won't be able to say scat," Nick said, taking her into his arms.Ever muzzle in my gut wants to say scat to this guy.
~RP
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