Paperback 875: Live and Let Die / Ian Fleming (Perma Books M-3048)

Paperback 875: Perma Books M-3048 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: Live and Let Die
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: James Meese

Estimated value: $75-100

Best things about this cover:

• The world's most ruthless diving coach doesn't want to hear your bullshit about the Chinese judge having it in for you.
• "Scrooge McDuck had to go on vacation. You deal with me now."
• You'd think with all those gold coins, he could afford a nicer office. Something less in-a-cave.
• Just in case you didn't notice: this cover is all kinds of fabulous.

Best things about this back cover:

• Tee-Hee. No, I'm not laughing, that's his name. His name is Tee-Hee. Tee-Hee. OK, now I'm laughing. Keep up!
• No reaction shot from Bond. I assume he just stiff-upper-lipped it, then bagged a leggy stewardess/assassin, then had a martini.
• "Take Mr. Bond to Central Perk … introduce him to Ross and Phoebe. You're job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA, Mr. Bond."

Page 123~

Soon they were over Miami and the monster chump-traps of the eastern seaboard, their arteries ablaze with neon.

Monster chump-traps! Nice phrase, Mr. Fleming.

~RP

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Paperback 870: Saigon / Nick Carter (Award Books A122F)

Paperback 870: Award Books A122F (PBO, 1964)

Title: Saigon
Author: Nick Carter [Michael Avallone & Valerie Moolman]
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $7

Best things about this cover:

• Nothing says "Saigon" like a white lady in lacy lingerie on a candy-striped couch. I always say.
• Nick Carter is the Ellery Queen of spy "chillers." Is he the author? The character? Both? Neither? The Smug Floating Head of Nick Carter says "Don't overthink it, baby. Just chill on my couch and I'll bring you a drink. [looks at her hand] OK, five drinks."

Best things about this back cover:

• Spy vs. Spy > this.
• If you're a big fan of torture / rape, then … "Saigon," I guess. Jeez.
• Nick Carter went on to make millions in the exercise equipment market, though sales didn't really take off until he changed "Killmaster" to "Thighmaster."

Page 123~

The blade flicked from the narrow haft without a whisper. Nick crouched. Sighted. And threw. The head turned slightly. Beautiful!

Nick Carter: Eroticizing Ice-Pick Death Scenes Since 1964

~RP

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Paperback 771: Moonraker / Ian Fleming (Signet S1850)

Paperback 771: Signet S1850 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: Moonraker
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• The long-awaited Moonmower prequel!
• Remember when NASA designed its launch towers to looks like giant lady spies? Man, the '60s were awesome!
• I choose to read only the text to the right of her head, thus: "a luscious lady spy that can blow the…" Now *that's* suspense!
• This came out in 1960, when Janet Leigh's haircut from "Psycho" was apparently very popular.

Best things about this back cover:

• Here's rocket in your eye!
• Let he who is without a rocket in his eye cast the mote verily from within thine own talent … is how the bible verse goes, I believe.
• You had me at "Flamboyant!"
• DRAX is an occasional crossword answer. Just FYI.

Page 123~

"I'm terribly sorry, Sir Hugo. But could you possibly stop for just a moment? I want, I mean, I'm terribly sorry but I'd like to powder my nose. It's terribly stupid of me. I'm so sorry."

Hugo Drax then wondered angrily why Gala didn't go back at McDonald's, when she had the chance. I mean, she drank all that soda, what did she think was going to happen? God! Now we're never gonna get to uncle Bob's by dinner! Gimme your Walkman, Gala! Stupid girls don't get Walkmen!

~RP

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Paperback 521: The Man With the Golden Gun / Ian Fleming (Signet P2735)

Paperback 521: Signet P2735 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: The Man with the Golden Gun
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• James Bond subdues the 50-Foot Woman ... with sexy results.
• Damn the '60s, with their "words" crowding out all the luscious artistry. I can't believe the great Barye Phillips' work has been reduced (literally and metaphorically) to this. It's like his art is being chewed by the bloody fangs of the words, while also being attacked by a golden word-buzzsaw.
• Her ass is so hot it's literally steaming.

Best things about this back cover:

• NOTHING!
• Ah, "bordello," you seldom-used, beautiful word.
• "Aided by his sex-galore confederate" is a brilliant phrase, I'll give the copy writer that.

Page 123~

Amused by his thoughts, Bond's right hand came out of his pocket and lit a cigarette for him, quietly and obediently. It had stopped going off chasing rabbits on its own.

I'm kind of stuck on how a "hand" gets "amused."

~RP

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Paperback 404: On Her Majesty's Secret Service / Ian Fleming (Signet P2732)

Paperback 404: Signet P 2732 (15th ptg, ca. 1969)

Title: On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

• Ladies Love Cool James
• Ladies also Love Quartered Lazenby
• These all seem like professional models, except for that one lady who is so rapt by Lazenby's prodigious hunk of man-scalp that she's raising her hand in astonishment while simultaneously setting out to scale his head.
• The fact that Diana Rigg is *not* on the cover of this novel is a crime against humanity.

Best things about this back cover:

• Aargh, stupid cheap books that can't be bothered to put different images on the back!
• How much do I want to have some business cards made that read "Ernest Stavro Blofeld — Master Artist of Cruelty / Licensed & Bonded / Walk-ins Welcome! [picture of kittens]"
• "...his horror-stained career" — oh, man, horror stains are the Hardest to get out. Trust me.

Page 123~

Bond pointed his skis down toward the tree-line, got down in his ugly crouch and shot, his skis screaming, into white space.

Wow. Nobody writes a sex scene quite like Fleming.

~RP

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