Paperback 898: Seminole / Theodore Pratt (Gold Medal 635)

Paperback 898: Gold Medal 635 (2nd ptg, 1957)

Title: Seminole
Author: Theodore Pratt
Cover artist: Jack Floherty [signature]

Estimated value: $7-10

Best things about this cover:

• Full frontal is cool if a. the woman is "native" or otherwise of color and b. you airbrush the nipple into virtual nothingness.
• Nothing says "sexy" like a slave auction! Seriously, this cover is infinitely gross.
• Mr. Top Hat Akimbo in the background knows it's gross. He and his bow tie are having none of it.
• If you're wondering whom the auctioneer is pointing at, just wait ...

Best things about this back cover:

• Wraparound!
• Sky looks even more insane back here. It's like Captain Cogitation there is summoning storm clouds with his mind. And his pointing pal is saying "Oooh, that one looks like a bunny."
• This painting is much, much better with the native slave auction cropped out of it.
• Just watched "Key Largo" and I'm pretty sure those two Native Americans that killed are called "The Osceola  Brothers." This Osceola was a leader of the Seminole resistance during the Second Seminole War.
• At least this novel seems to know what the white man is a "marauder."

Page 123~

Indians lay in water with lily pads over their faces to hide from the white soldiers. Seminole children were buried in pits to their heads, which were covered over with palmetto to conceal them.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 693: The Big Guy / Wade Miller (Gold Medal 279)

Paperback 693: Gold Medal 279 (PBO, 1953)

Title: The Big Guy
Author: Wade Miller
Cover artist: Jack Floherty

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• When a gorilla of a man meets a tigress of a woman ... Tigrilla!
• Big guy. Short tie. Wide suit. Dumb stare. "Is my tie clip straight ... Well, IS IT!?"
• Did he tear her clothes off her or was she attacked by an ermine that's still semi-attached to her right shoulder?

Best things about this back cover:

• This is either the worst or the best back cover concept ever. It's so ... random. "How 'bout a dictionary entry?" "But that ... makes no sense." "Yes, but if we did it on a little floating piece of torn out paper then ... oh man I'm so high right now."
• "Bloodstained but usable" = lovely.
• Who is this "pa' shens" woman? A woman who teaches you how to drink, carouse and chase women!? She sounds amazing.
• Wade Miller was actually two guys, but you probably knew that.

Page 123~

He took his wife's arm and squared the odd-feeling yachting cap on his head. "Come on down to the barbecue. I got to carve up a pig."

After the first five words, this passage is like "Fuck it, I'm'a do whatever I want."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 277: The Crazy Mixed-Up Corpse / Mike Avallone (Gold Medal 718)

Paperback 277: Gold Medal 718 (PBO, 1957)
Title: The Crazy Mixed-Up Corpse
Author: Mike Avallone
Cover artist: Jack Floherty

Yours for: $19


Best things about this cover:

• Peek-a-boo nighties are a staple of vintage paperback covers, but you rarely see the women in said nighties *actually* playing peek-a-boo.
• Or maybe she's just sad. Or performing some odd modern dance routine. Whatever she's doing, she appears to be doing it while wrapped in the kind of cellophane they use to cover fruit baskets.
• "Oh, what's a corpse to do!? [sob sob, toe point]"

Best things about this back cover:

• "Flounced" is a fabulous word.
• Nice contemporary hot-chick references in the opening sentences. I like how the writer is on a first name / first name / last name basis with these legendary lookers.
• "She wore clothes nakedly" = Avallone at his Hammettiest.
• Second paragraph reads like a tagline discard pile. "You put those on the cover!? Those were just notes!"
• Rarely, upon taking candy from a baby, do you demand that it take off its clothes.

Page 123~

He dug a thick fold of something from his pocket, fanned it out. Checked it the same way you do a map. It was a map.

Sometimes, you gotta stay literal. Keeps readers on their toes.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]