Paperback 913: One More Unfortunate / Edgar Lustgarten (Bantam 360)

Paperback 913: Bantam 360 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: One More Unfortunate
Author: Edgar Lustgarten
Cover artist: Bernard Safran

Estimated value: $15-20

Best things about this cover:

• "I was Mr. Arm Veins 1938, 1939, and 1941. Don't ask about 1940. Here, drink this."
• "First, let me show you this here invention I come up with. I call it, 'The Butt Scratcher'...."
• Wow, when he rolls up his sleeves, he really Rolls Up His Sleeves.
• That knife-arm, everything about it, is really striking. And yet I'm weirdly mesmerized by the torn wallpaper patch (authentic seediness!) and her shoes, which I really wish I could see in profile. And closer up.

Best things about this back cover:

• Young Ronald Reagan was not allowed to ride the children's choo-choo train. Would / he / die?!
• I love how the issue here isn't the horrific fate of Kate Haggerty, but how her horrific fate might reflect on Captain White Man.
• Damn evidence. Always with the mounting.

Page 123~

He gave his answer in loud, almost truculent tones.

Ooh, I like that. I think I'm gonna steal it. "Almost Truculent: The Rex Parker Story"

~RP

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Paperback 845: Uncle Good's Week-End Party / John Faulkner (Gold Medal 1031)

Paperback 845: Gold Medal 1031 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Uncle Good's Week-End Party
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Estimated value: $20-25


Best things about this cover:

• Try to find a creepier title/cover art pairing. Go ahead. I'll wait.
• Uncle Good likes to watch. And smoke. And hunch. And not tuck his shirt in.
• The funniest thing on this cover is "Faulkner."
• MTV canceled this after one season.
• What is "NOOT?"

Best things about this back cover:

• I like how this cover starts, anyway.
• Let me get this straight: I'll laugh at the side-splitting antics of an old man who rents out his own daughters? An old man who is his daughters' pimp? Or does he rent them out as clowns for children's birthday parties? Please say "B."
• ORTA. That is all.

Page 123~

Orta June and Jewel Mae had stood up as the husbands came stumbling and crawling across the porch. Soon the husbands were thick around them.

This is like a zombie movie. But with husbands.

~RP

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Paperback 788: Bell Timson / Marguerite Steen (Perma Books P110)

Paperback 788: Perma Books P110 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: Bell Timson
Author: Marguerite Steen
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• She is what I'd call "WASP-hot," though she does look a bit like she's been modeled out of Play-Doh, and those are really more flippers than hands.
• Something about her dimensions are just … off.
• This cover does not say "illicit business." It says "some lady, probably a lady named 'Bell Timson'."
• "The Sun Is My Undoing"—damn, that was gonna be the title of my autobiography! I'll have to go with my second choice, "Beyond the Pale."

Best things about this back cover:

• You said it, sister.
• "Ten years too long" made me legit laugh.
• If you named your kids Kay and Jo, you could refer them collectively as KayJo. Like, all the time. I would.
• Who is Bob and how does that relate to Bell's being a (I'm guessing) hooker? I'm really, really hoping that Jo discovers her fiancé once slept with her mom. That would at least be interesting.

Page 123~

"She was supposed to have 'touched pitch' and therefore been contaminated; you know what villagers are." Mr. Somervell laughed shortly.

~RP

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Paperback 737: Duke / Hal Ellson (Popular Library 219)

Paperback 737: Popular Library 219 (5th ptg, 1950)

Title: Duke
Author: Hal Ellson
Cover artist: Rudolph Belarski

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• Her "whatever" face is the best.
• Black Joan Crawford could take you or leave you.
• Shoes! Why does everyone on old paperbacks look so damn cool. Even goofy people look cool. Even Flat-butt No Face here has a certain simple, shabby style I admire. 
• Juvenile delinquency! Dope! Smoking (literally) hot girls who could give a damn! This book has it all.
• The one word I think of when I see Belarski's artwork: creamy. 

Best things about this back cover:

• Love the advisory at the end there! "If you barf easy, or don't, like, care about important stuff, then fuck off already." This book has the same attitude as the lady on the cover.
• Marijuana. I like when books name their drugs. Even though this is a 5th printing, the great condition, the JD (juvenile delinquency) theme, and the drug references make it super-sweet / collectible. 
• "Cash before pleasure"? Come on, you gotta up your slang game if you're gonna run the streets. "Money before honeys"? "Dough before ho"? "Cheddar before girls in tight sweaters"? Something.

Page 123~

"You got any sticks on you?" Chink said.
"Yeah, I got some. You want one."
"I could use it."
I gave Chink one. I passed some around to the others. I lit one for myself. I needed that. We all got to be feeling gay then. 

Aw, yeah … [cue sexy music] …

~RP

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Paperback 733: Waterfront Blonde / Gordon Semple (Beacon B352)

Paperback 733: Beacon B352 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Waterfront Blonde
Author: Gordon Semple
Cover artist: Fracé (!?) (see signature just left of Beacon icon)

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• She was everything shirtless Carrot Top wanted … the body of a goddess, the eyes of an old-school extra-terrestrial, the smoking habit of a young Selma Diamond …
• I thought the "Bawd" was the go-between / pimp. Yes, "a woman in charge of a brothel." So she's … half in charge of a brothel?
• Love the bikini—appropriate attire, as the room appears to be underwater. 
• I like how the cover copy reads like poetry/verse. Speaking of … 

Best things about this back cover:

• Epic Sleaze Acrostic!
• Seriously, someone worked long and hard on this. OK, maybe not "long," but … someone *worked* on this, is what I'm saying.
• Best word in the whole poem: "practically" (line 4)
• Mmm, "velvety charms." They're magically delicious! (I assume)

Page 123~

She chuckled, gave his hair a rumpling, then went to the door and saw a pocket-size Venus attired in a nautical costume that did full justice to her hips and formidable bosom. The Venus flashed an insouciant smile. "Mrs. Marsh, no doubt?"

They don't call Gordon Semple "The Faulkner of Sleaze" for nothing. Actually, they don't call him that at all, but they should.

~RP

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Paperback 688: Never to Belong / James Williams (Fabian Z-135)

Paperback 688: Fabian Z-135 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Never to Belong
Author: James Williams
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $50 (actually, Not for Sale — don't think I'm ready to part with this one)


Best things about this cover:

• Pristine book from my favorite sleaze paperback publisher—Sanford Aday (publishing out of Fresno CA before eventually being convicted of trafficking in obscenity) was always trying to be sensational with the sexual themes of his books. He published a lot of stuff dealing with homosexuality, cross-dressing, miscegenation, etc., some it written by women authors, black authors, etc. He Was So Unusual. As I've told you before, he used the pages of his books to wage a battle against censorship—not just in the themes of the novels he published, but in the little essays and clippings he'd include in the backs of his books detailing court victories he or others had won against the government. In this book, he has forgone much of that back matter but still has a little note to his readers asking for feedback and proclaiming, "we are going to keep on giving you what you want to read as long as it is within our power to do so." He probably knew his publishing days were numbered. I just love the idea of waging a one-man battle for sexual openness and tolerance using only the medium of ... the sleaze paperback. He's kind of my hero.
• Not sure I've seen the word "mulatto" on a cover before. Remember when we subcategorized black people based on skin color?! Good times.
• Love the way the woman's skirt flies up. Fabian cover paintings are not generally known for their, uh, quality, but I like the suggestion of motion here. 
• Also, bald dude's face is Priceless.

Best things about this back cover:

• Awkwardest ellipsis ever.
• This is surely the greatest book ever about mule-skinning, whatever that is. Ooh, turns out a mule-skinner is just someone who drives mules, also called a "muleteer" (hmmm, this puts "Mouseketeer" in a whole new light) or "arriero."
• Crossword folks will be excited by this new cluing possibility for MAE.
• "High-towning it" is a great phrase I would like to bring back. I shall use it every time I'm determined to raise me a whole bunch of hell.

Page 123~

Louisiana was a rough place for a colored man to get into trouble with the law.

Hashtag understatement.

~RP

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Paperback 684: Hired Nympho / Big Bob Tralins (Novel Book 5077)

Paperback 684: Novel Book 5077 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Hired Nympho
Author: Big Bob Tralins (best, author, name, ever)
Cover artist: photo cover + beta version of PhotoShop?

Yours for: Not for Sale [part of the Doug Peterson Collection]


Best things about this cover:

• Can't get past the hair. Just can't. Hideous.
• I do like the fact that I have, multiple times, misread Big Bob Tralins' other titles, e.g. "Seduction Salmon," "Passion Position," etc
• Big. Bob. Tralins. That was someone's name.
• Arrow, haha. "Read this next," says the redundant arrow.

Best things about this back cover:

• Simple and to the point. Elegant. Being honest when I say this is one of my very favorite back covers. Of all time.

Page 123~

I grinned. They were both compacts, the low-slung, economy size, one blonde, the other redhead. Miniature five-footers, but stacked!

I can really picture these women. Sadly, what I'm picturing looks like a cross between a car and a sub sandwich.

~RP

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Paperback 666: Dark Quarters / Stella Hampton (Fabian Z-117)

Paperback 666: Fabian Z-117 (PBO, 1957)

Title: Dark Quarters
Author: Stella Hampton
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• "Uh, yeah, I got a letter here addressed to "Sidewalk"—that you?"
• "... newspapers were her bed; her hair, a badger pelt." 
• "Dark niches" HA ha. Subtle.
• "As a child, dancing for her grandparents earned her shiny pennies ... but as a young woman, she earned naught but DARK QUARTERS."

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmm, early Fabian books had such an awesomely low-rent, DIY vibe. 
• Victims of their own success—"So many of you want the sleazy, badly written books we produce that we can't keep up w/ your orders! Long live barely literate perverts!"
• This is from the era before publisher Sanford Aday got convicted of trafficking in obscenity—when the end matter of his books was chock full of long disquisitions on free speech and obscenity laws, and clippings of news about Supreme Court decisions, etc. Also, he occasionally documented his own legal struggles: "... the jury acquitted as to the book Rambling Maids and voted nine to three in favor of The Strange Three and Turbulent Daughters!" Take that, Ulysses!

Page 123~ (nah ... way too boring ... here's p. 27)

"Put your hand on my breast, Steve. You want to, don't you?"

"Yes, but ..."

"Just a little,—feel it like it's something you've never felt before."

"Squeeze it like a pastry bag, you cowardly bastard!," she cooed.

~RP

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Paperback 616: Cop / Jack Karney (Pocket Books 898)

Paperback 616: Pocket Books 898 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Cop
Author: Jack Karney
Cover artist: Stanley Zuckerberg

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• I love this cover so much it hurts. Where to begin? 
• The framing! They're apart, but together, but apart, but ... and such a contrast in tone. Male/female. Calm/kinetic. White/pink. Dressed/undressed. Professional/domestic. On and on. And on. And their expressions! Revealing but enigmatic. Is he here to arrest her? Sleep with her? Both? And how does she feel about that? Excited? Headachey? Feels like there's a thousand pages of subtext in this one shot.
• The pink! Such a bold color choice, and the last color you'd expect to have "COP" written over the top of it. 
• The title! Bold, simple, and apparently, by its slight angle, printed on the surface of the door ...
• The detail! The careful positioning of his hand, the texture of the metal fixtures on the door, the stockings, the cigarette. A thousand points of awesome.
• Total lack of blurb / cover copy. Exactly the right choice for this cover. I'll supply my own overheated blurb, thanks.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Get wise!" I love how this book talks. Stop making me love you so much, "Cop"!
• OMG, the back cover is talking not to me, but to Joe! And I'm just eavesdropping, I guess.
• The problem of Joe's "conscience" says a lot about that front cover—shake her down? Take her to bed? Walk away? Does it matter? 

Page 123~

For the next five minutes the cab driver told Joe what he thought of cops in general, citing cases to prove his point that the hackie and the policeman were natural enemies. When he finished, he said, 

"I can smell a cop a mile off. Fact, I just look at a guy and can tell how he makes a buck. You look like a lawyer."

Swing and a miss, hackie!

~RP

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Paperback 582: Campus Call Girl / Scott O'Neill (Gold Star Books IL7-35)

Paperback 582: Gold Star Books IL7-35 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Campus Call Girl
Author: Scott O'Neill
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25

Best things about this cover:

• Get her some non-molded-plastic hair and I'd be In Love.
• That is one of the best come-hither/fuck-you glances I've seen on a paperback cover.
• Striped towel and striped bikini = Campus. Fierce heels and cigarette = Call Girl
• I'm weirdly distracted by "into" sitting there all alone in its own line. Maybe it can call up "The" and they can get together.

Best things about this back cover:

• "... but all the boys call me 'Double D' [WINK]"
• "In case you were wondering what I'd look like in mirror symmetry—voila!"
• Because nothing says "call girl" like faux-wood paneling.

Page 123~

Aniel shrugged. "Depends on how long 'long' is."

Truer words ...

~RP

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Paperback 559: The Promoter / Orrie Hitt (Beacon Books 142)

Paperback 559: Beacon Books BB142 (PBO, 1957)

Title: The Promoter
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: Walter Popp

Yours for: $20
Best things about this cover:

• "So ... you're here for the free Tai Chi lesson?"
• I love his smugfuck face: "What can I say? It's like the tagline says, I love my work."
• I like her. I really hope she takes all his money and leaves him tied up and half-naked in that room.
• Love the trash can peeking out from around the corner. Just in case you thought this story was classy.
• "On the surface she was all smooth legs and orange sweaters, but deep down inside, she was ... the Teen Temptress of Trash Town."

Best things about this back cover:

• ZZZZZZZddZZZzzzzZZZZZZZap!
• Oh, you crazy kids and your cellar clubs (!?!).
• "Cellar club" sounds like a serial killer's euphemism for "place where I keep the bones of my victims."
• "His best weapons were women ... sure, they're a little cumbersome, but once you learn to swing one you can do some Serious damage."

Page 123~

Nothing further was known about her until she had appeared in the city, five years previously, and had set herself up in the model agency business. Her credit rating vouched for the fact that she had been successful—No one had any outstanding bills against her. Her association with Andy Willis who, by the way, was from Billings, Montana, had been a routine thing.

People forget there was a time in American history when being from Billings, Montana was considered fascinating and exciting, possibly because that time never actually existed.

~RP

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Paperback 532: Venus Examined / Robert Kyle (Fawcett Crest M1228)

Paperback 532: Fawcett Crest M1228 (1st ptg, 1969)

Title: Venus Examined
Author: Robert Kyle
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $5


Best things about this cover:

• I think she's consoling him, or apologizing for having gotten him involved in this demeaning research. "I'm sorry, honey. They didn't say anything about probes or electrodes on the fliers. Just breathe."
• "first-rate story telling" looks lifted from a longer, not-so-complimentary sentence. Shouldn't "F" be capitalized? And shouldn't storytelling be one word? And isn't it remarkable that I'm fixated on matters of punctuation and spelling when there are naked people on my paperback cover. As a general rule, if your naked people fail to hold my fixed, rapt attention, then your cover is a Fail.
• Robert Kyle was the (pen) name of the author of this awesome-looking book. Wonder if it's the same guy. What a shame to go from having your books look so completely awesome to having them look like this. "Sex made Tom and Linda sad..."

Best things about this back cover:

• Oooh, *color* film! You don't say! Lah-di-dah...
• I sure hope the answers to these questions are yes, yes, and yes, or I'm going to be as sad as those people on the cover.
• "College students and prostitutes" made me laugh—Copywriting room conversation: "Hey, Dan, what's the opposite of 'college students?'" "I dunno ... whores?" "Perfect."

Page 123~

His name was Woods McChesney, and unlike his furniture he himself was in pretty good shape, a neat little suit, neat tie, neat mustache.

I now want to name *everything* 'Woods McChesney.'

~RP

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The P. Morrison Donations #1: A Good Year For Dwarfs? / Carter Brown (Signet 4320)

Title: A Good Year for Dwarfs?
Author: Carter Brown
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Reader P. Morrison sent me a stack of books. They are beat up and cheesy, just like I like 'em. First up ... this.

Best things about this cover:

• Evocative painting. Who knew that extras in a "Conan" movie experienced such depths of ennui?
• Is that lady a. calming her pet Pekingese, who lives in her hair; b. physically supporting her 50 lbs of hair because he neck has simply given out; or c. shaking her head in disbelief at the idea that Carter Brown has sold over 25 million books?
• I thought "A Good Year for Dwarfs" was the tagline at first, and had no idea what that could possibly mean. Then I realized that was the title. Puzzlement remained.
• If my students ever used a hyphen that way, there's no way they'd be getting better than a C.

Best things about this back cover:

• Rimmel and Holman? As porn names go ... subtle.
• I want business cards that read simply "Davis Davis, Movie Dwarf"
• "Twilight world" normally (in paperbackese) means "homosexual."  I'm doubtful that that is the case here.

Page 123~

Any moment now, I thought frantically, I'm about to make whimpering noises out loud! "Do you play Scrabble?" I gurgled.

Man, it gets Freaky on an early '70s porn set.

~RP

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Paperback 482: Sam / Lonnie Coleman (Pyramid G479)

Paperback 482: Pyramid G479 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: Sam
Author: Lonnie Coleman
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $35

Best things about this cover:

• "Frank"! "Twilight world"! I do love my vintage paperback buzzwords.
• The giant "S" stands for "Super Sexy"
• Wow, Sam looks like he's really into ... Sam.
• QueerSam is about the most fabulous thing I've seen on a vintage paperback cover. His languid pose, his unbuttoned / flip-collared shirt, his hairless chest, his tight-as-hell red pants ... the way he is coming on to his buttondowned self, the way that he lives inside a tear in the space/time continuum ... all amazing.
• The New York Herald Tribune is testing out its Review-Bot 3000, now with patented "hyper-adjective mode"

Best things about this back cover:

• Unashamed homosexual!
• "Normal," HA ha.
• Oh, the gays and their "furtive wanderings" and inevitable chiropractic "adjustments"

Page 123~

His maleness had been stated; her susceptibility was understood by both of them.

"This is my maleness ... alright, let's do this!"

~RP

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Paperback 476: Karla / Vern Wade (Saber SA-2)

Paperback 476: Saber Books SA-2 (PBO? 1957?) 

Title: Karla
Author: Vern Wade
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $28

Best things about this cover:

• These people look like video game avatars, or character in "Polar Express." They are going to have creepy, sweat-less, human-like sex on that sad pristine bed in 3, 2 ...
• Heflin (really?) had not quite mastered the whole vampire thing. You can't nuzzle the blood out of her, Hef!
• Now that I look at her more closely, I'm pretty sure she's inflatable and Hef is blowing her up.
• In my mind, Madame Fronzeh rides a motorcycle, wears a leather jacket, says "Ehhhhhh!," and people call her "The Fronz."

Best things about this back cover:

• More sadness from the Sanford Aday publishing houses (see also here). I've never, ever seen a publisher foreground their own economic / legal woes so aggressively. The fact that they're publishing under fire becomes part of their identity in those early years (you know, before the 25-year prison sentence ...).

Page 123~

Her hazel eyes widened. Her lips curved in an ironic smile as she rose, and moved toward me. She extended her hand to me, and her body undulated provocatively in a gesture that was confusingly familiar.

He's confused because he's repressed the memory of his mother's own ironic smiling and provocative undulation as she fixed him scrambled eggs as a child.

~RP

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Paperback 463: Mr. Madam: Confessions of a Male Madam / Kenneth Marlowe (Paperback Library 55-857)

Paperback 463: Paperback Library 55-857 (1st ptg, 1965)

Title: Mr. Madam: Confessions of a Male Madam
Author: Kenneth Marlowe
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9

Best things about this cover:

• Oh good, an Adult Autobiography. I always hate it when children try to write autobiography. Grow up first, you self-involved whiners!
• How can a book with this subject matter and this title have a cover this terrible. I mean, consider some other covers (which I just found, while trolling the internet):

[Hairdresser of the stars!? Why is this info not on my paperback!?]

• Kenneth Marlowe was also a female impersonator. More pics:

 

And now the back cover:

Best things about this back cover:

• Ugh. A chalkboard drawing? Is this supposed to be a "twilight man?"
• Not even the word "frank" to appease me. I hate this book (cover). [I just opened the book and the very first phrase on the very first page is "Uncompromisingly frank," so I feel a little better]

Page 123~

"You all try to help 'Frenchy' get dates, girls. Oh, be sure to remember to call him 'Frenchy.' If you get a date with a John, tell him that for five bucks extra you can have Frenchy sent in. Tell the trick, 'Let Frenchy come in and work on me. It makes me go wild!' That'll work the John up. Or, for $10 he'll work both you and the John. Well, I don't have to tell most of you how to manage it. Use your imaginations. Frenchy will, of course, be working all the exhibitions."

To its credit, this book does get pretty dang 'frank' (esp. by 1965 standards). Why it's not called "FRENCHY!"—with accompanying super-campy picture—I just don't understand.

~RP

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Paperback 458: Gutter Gang / Jay de Bekker (Beacon Books B108)

Paperback 458: Beacon Books B158 (PBO, 1954)

Title: Gutter Gang
Author: Jay de Bekker
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $20


Best things about this cover:

• "Psst. Hey, Billy, you gonna hit that?" "Shut up, guys, that's my mom!"
• "Billy, you come home right now and do your chores! And take that cigarette out of your mouth this instant!" "Aw, mom...! You're makin' me look uncool in front of the guys..."
• Art director had only one note: "Grimier."
• I love '50s paranoia about JD (Juvenile Delinquency). I don't know who Norman Anthony is (whoa, I've said that before ...), but I'm sure he was hysterical.

Best things about this back cover:

• Well, when you have your midnight orgies in the parking lot of the A&P, that'll happen.
• "Sponsors"=not the word I was expecting. "Hey girls, let's all go to AA!" "Neato!"
• "B- B- B- Benny's name is Lesk!"
• Those poor, poor kids. Getting high, fucking ... I really pity them.
• This book has chapters with titles like "Muggin'," "Chicken," "Hot Gin," and, of course, "Chivalry"

Page 123~ (cheating: p. 122)

I ask him does he live with this folks, and he says he has a mother and a sister but no real father. He said he was a bastard, a real bastard."

I like how she talks about bastards like they were astronauts or yetis.

~RP

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Paperback 456: Stairways to Sin / Kip Madigan (Fabian Z-114)

[With postscript about "Book Blogger Appreciation Week"]

Paperback 456: Fabian Books Z-114 (7th ptg, 1959)

Title: Stairways to Sin
Author: Kip Madigan
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $14


Best things about this cover:

• "So this is a sporting-house? Gee, neat. So, where's football and baseball and stuff? ... Badminton?"
• "Alright, Billy, I'll pull a quarter from behind your ear one more time, but then I have to get back to fucking strangers for money, OK?"
• Whoever did this cover painting this missed the art class about "perspective." And "proportion." And "good."
• "Windbreak?" Again, I have to wonder if cover copy in this era wasn't written primarily by ESL students armed only with dog-eared thesauruses and an admirable "what-the-hell" spirit.
• 7th printing!!!! Unless this thing had print runs of, like, six, I'm stunned.
  

Best things about this back cover:

• This is the first time I've ever seen "sporting" to describe prostitution. "I know that when I need a windbreak, I like to go sporting. Works every time."
• "Though his work is out of tune with the literati" ... HA ha. You could have stopped that sentence after "tune."
• "Incest for Rene"!?!?! Wow. Worst Christmas ever.
• Thousands of letters!!!! I would literally (i.e. figuratively) kill to read even a half dozen of those letters.

Page 123~

"I'm not dumb," she said, dauntless, "I'm just ignorant."

"For instance, what does 'dauntless' mean?"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

P.S. it's something called Book Blogger Appreciation Week. I doubt this blog counts as a book blog in the sense that the Appreciation Week's organizers intend, as it's overwhelmingly about covers, not content. Anyway, here's my part—anyone listed under "Fellow Cover Critics" in my sidebar is worth checking out. My favorite book blog that is not mine is "Caustic Cover Critic." Always thoughtful writing about the good, the bad, and the phenomenally ugly in the world of book covers. And thus ends my contribution to building blogger "community" in anything but the most indirect of ways. Cheers.

Paperback 433: Sintown, U.S.A. / ed. Noah Sarlat (Lion Books 106)

Paperback 433: Lion Books 106 (PBO, 1952)

Title: Sintown, U.S.A.
Editor: Noah Sarlat
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $18


Best things about this cover:

• Fresno! (my hometown—I bought this book for that reason alone)
• I still don't know where "Bergen" is. Sweden?
• She's a tough, sexy dame ... from the neck down. From the neck up, she is a wasted, miscoiffed mess.
• I'm guessing what we're seeing here is one of them there "Sucker Traps..."

Best things about this back cover:

• "You will not see wealthy dowagers with lorgnettes sipping wine and nibbling on cheese in their opera boxes"
• My guess is that if the reader has bothered to flip the book over to read the back cover, he already suspects that it's not about the genteel habits of the urban elite. The book is called "Sintown, U.S.A." for god's sake.
• I like how this book goes beyond the mere assertion of the existence of a thriving underground vice economy to the more provocative claim that said "muck and misery and seaminess" are the "bedrock" of Anytown, U.S.A. "Can't have museums without hookers aplenty. That's nature's law."
• 20,000 seems an awfully arbitrary number.
• I've never been to Yourtown. Mytown, sure. But not Yourtown.

Page 123~

Many a respected Bergen citizen with a kingsize "monkey riding on his back" is in hock up to his ears.

As any Swede can tell you, it costs a lot of money to care for back-riding monkeys, especially the big ones.

~RP

P.S. Bergen, it turns out, is in Norway. Also, New Jersey.

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Paperback 426: Sex and the Armed Services / L.T. Woodward, M.D. (Monarch MB507)

Paperback 426: Monarch MB507 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Sex and the Armed Services
Author: L.T. Woodward, M.D. [pseud. of Robert Silverberg]
Cover artist: Uncredited [Robert Maguire]

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• Navy women sleep with sophisticated diplomats, where Army men sleep with French whores.
• I have to say that I am disappointed with the balance here between "Sex" and "the Armed Services." You mean I have to *imagine* the sex? Total ripoff.
• This will sound weird, but the more I look at our two protagonists, the more I like them. They have a distinctly cool look that makes me want to know more about them. I want them to be rivals, scheming for ... something. They would have chemistry, but they would not be a couple. They might have to team up, perhaps using the French whore to pull a scam on the sophisticated diplomat. I'm not sure where the sex comes in, exactly.
• I LOVE these fake sciencey books that the sex publishers put out in the '60s (complete with caduceus / "Human Behavior" logo, Ha ha: "4 out of 5 scienticians agree, our books contain plausible human behavior"). Part of the whole post-Kinsey "Your Right To Know" "studies" of "real" sex lives, allowing adults to unembarrassingly indulge their penchants for voyeurism. I'm pretty sure the sex anecdotes contained therein are entirely fictional.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Code Red, Code Red, Emergency ... I'm gonna have to go lesbian!" Once you go lesbian, you never go back. Or you do, whatever.
• What the hell does "mingle promiscuously" look like? Is that when you grope boobs at a cocktail party? "Can I freshen your drink? How 'bout stick my tongue down your throat? No? OK..."
• LOVE the last sentence, which posits that the military encourages "abnormal" behavior.

Page 123~

The old nurses handled me impersonally, like I was something made of wood, but the very young ones would blush and glance away when their attentions aroused me.

Heh heh. "Wood."

~RP

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