Paperback 1110: Handbook for the Woman Driver / Charlotte Montgomery (Vanguard nn)

 Paperback 1110: Vanguard (unnumbered) (no ed. stated, 1960)

Title: Handbook for the Woman Driver

Author: Charlotte Montgomery

Cover artist: Elizabeth Pollock + [photo cover]

Condition: 7/10

Value: $8

[from a big box of books sent to me by reader "Gail"]

Best things about this cover: 

• I love the idea that women will naturally be wearing fancy driving gloves while driving. Also, that the steering wheel will be a freestanding plate or disc or fencing mask or robot helmet of some kind. Looks more like someone discovering an ancient artifact than someone driving a car.
• She's giving Eleanor Roosevelt. She also looks kinda like my paternal grandmother.
• Phillips 66 had a cool logo. Sincerely.
• I wonder what kind of assumptions this book makes about women drivers. Let's open to a random page and test the waters, shall we? — "Many women have confessed to me (as if it were a secret vice) [... go on ...] that they sing loud and lustily when they're alone in their cars." Thankfully, Mrs. Montgomery approves. She does not approve, however, of picking up hitchhikers or stopping on a deserted road or dressing or acting in any way that might attract "undue attention." I think she wants to say "don't dress like a whore," but that was probably deemed untactful by the editors.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Trop-Artic! For when the weather is ... too ... ar(c)tic?
• Trop-Artic! Not at all awkward and nonsensical! Really surprised it didn't catch on.
• The corporate synergy of Good Housekeeping and Phillips 66 is really something to behold.
• I love (Love!) how they're selling motor oil to women the way they'd sell beauty cream. Because "every woman" wants a "lubricating formula" (!) to help her car look "younger."
• "*A trademark" is a hilarious footnote. Oh, is that what "Trop-Artic" is? I just though it was an ad exec's bad idea.

Page 123~

Paper Play: Ticktacktoe; drawing a figure in sections, turning back the paper each time to hide what's already been drawn; folding a sheet and cutting strips of dolls. A drawing game for older children is played by making a sketch to illustrate a title, song, event, etc. The first to guess correctly wins.

"Paper Play" sounds like a very ... interesting ... driving kink, but this is just part of a long section on "ways to distract your annoying kids on a long automobile excursion." I like how the author basically invents Pictionary here. But that spelling of "Ticktacktoe" is cursed. 

~RP

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Paperback 1083: Death Wears a Green Hat / Will Creed (Five Star Mystery 42)

 Paperback 1083: Five Star Mystery 42 (PBO, 1946)

Title: Death Wears a Green Hat

Author: Will Creed

Cover artist: [Uncredited]

Condition: 7/10

Value: $20-25

[Autumn Leaves Bookstore, Ithaca, NY, May 2024]

Best things about this cover: 

• Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio—he was a ring-a-ding cat! Always quick with a smile. A little on the thin side...
• Another digest-sized paperback, another publisher I've never heard of. New-to-me publishers always hold huge appeal.
• There's a line in Elvis Costello's "Tokyo Storm Warning" that goes "Death wears a big hat / 'Cause he's a big bloke"; the ability to speak pulp fluently is something I've always admired in the guy.
• Skeletons are funny—scary (see the end of Psycho, for instance) but put a hat on one (or a scarf, or a feather boa), and instant silliness
• The background pattern here has me hungry for waffles (an everyday feeling, just a little moreso)

Best things about this back cover: 

• Y'all, this guy cannot write. Or the guy at the publishing house who does the back cover copy cannot write. Somebody cannot write. This prose is punishing. You have to ride that opening prepositional phrase forEver before you have any idea of what that sentence is doing grammatically. And the idea of Hal "watching" with "silent terror" as "suspicions" "reach out for him, closer and closer"... I mean, zombies reaching out for you, sure, I get it, but "suspicions"? 
• "Closer and closer they came, reaching out for him..." "OMG what's coming closer, what's reaching out for him!?" "Uh ... suspicions." "...Oh, come on!" "No, wait, where are you going? ...  they're really gruesome suspicions, I swear—big teeth and green hats and everything. Aw, come back and let me finish my terrifying story!"
• "Nerve-shredding enjoyment!" Because you're bored with mere "face-smashing whimsy!" and want something new in your keen-edged horror!

Page 123~

Dear Hal, I know that of all the people that knew Adrian, you must have known him best. He wasn't always admirable, but no man needs to die the way Adrian died, just because he cannot always live the way his heart means to act. I must talk to you. I walked over to talk to you after I had been to Inspector Day's tonight, and, well, you weren't there. I was lost, for I had to talk. In my mind has been growing for some time the most frightful suspicion. But we're old friends and I must see you. And the more I think of it, and think of the person involved under the circumstances in which Adrian died, I become more and more certain of my guess. I have to see you, Hal; we must talk this out together. No matter what time you get this, phone me at once. I'll be waiting for your call. I cannot imagine where you have gone at this time of night. Valerie.

Well thank god this isn't an epistolary novel because I'm not sure I could've taken one more sentence. I'd rather read all of Clarissa than one more of Valerie's "I must talk to you I walked over to talk to you I had to talk we must talk this out where are you you seem to be in a different place from where I am currently looking" ramble-fests.

~RP

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Paperback 606: Street of Brass / Fielden Farrington (Hillman Books 203)

Paperback 606: Hillman Books 203 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Street of Brass
Author: Fielden Farrington
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• False modesty hand!
• "Oh doctor, can you take a look at this? I've been having problems with my axilla ..."
• Sweet font.
• "Fielden Farrington" is fake. For sure. Seems to have written at least two other novels, both of which were used as the basis for TV movies of the week in the early '70s. But I still say "pen name."

Best things about this back cover:

• Simplicity of the diagram is kind of great.
• This was written either by someone with poetic aspirations or by someone who learned English late in life. I am strangely mesmerized by the strangeness of the diction.
• I want to sit at a bar and shout "this liquor does not ease me!" and then the bartender will say "what? It doesn't please you?" and then I'll stare her dead in the eye and say "our pointless intimacies are *over*!" and then I'll chuck the highball glass at the mirror behind the bar. Then  run.

Pag 123~

"Yes." He couldn't remember in any detail what he had already said. "She rang the bell, and she was drunk as a goat. She screamed at me when I told her she couldn't come in. I mean literally screamed, like a banshee. I had to let her in to shut her up.

Lila nodded.

Unsurprisingly, Lila is not quite buying it.

~RP

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Paperback 543: The Shame Sell / Alan Marshall (Ember Library 394)

Paperback 543: Ember Library 394 (PBO, 1967)

Title: The Shame Sell
Author: Alan Marshall (sometime pseudonym of Donald Westlake)
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $30

Best things about this cover:

• "Gee, putting together this new life-model kit is a blast!"
• "So, you're telling me the cup goes ... like this ... and it keeps those things on the front of your chest from bouncing so much? Wow."
• Seriously, he's putting that bra *on* to that girl, and he's even doing *that* wrong.
• "I call this painting 'Drunk Girl Airs Out Her Pits.'"
• Actually, I would call this painting "How To Ruin a Perfectly Good Picture of a Naked Woman." 1. Add creepy man-child. 2. have her do something inexplicable with her arms while making stupid drunk-face. 3. Replace pubic area with scary, uniformly black patch. Boner averted!

Best things about this back cover:

• "Who could believe the truth?" I'm guessing Not Me.
• Ah, the ad game. Oh, so the guy on the cover must be Dan Drooper from AMC's "Sad Men." 
• I hope the butterfly net is nonmetaphorical.

Page 123~

Jon sat back, rested his elbows on the arms of the swivel chair, tapped his fingers together, and eyed the ceiling. "C. F., the way I see it, it's time for you to escalate against Oona. The situation is peaking out, and so a certain accclimatizing seems to be in order."

Even the guy in the book replied, "A certain what?" Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go escalate against Oona ... *if* you know what I mean (do you? 'cause I don't)

~RP

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Paperback 487: The Shocking History of Advertising / E.S. Turner (Ballantine F 403 K)

Paperback 487: Ballantine Books F 403 K (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: The Shocking History of Advertising
Author: E.S. Turner
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• The Shocking History Of Fonts!
• What "tragic ailment" does the "Other Tragic Ailments" guy have? Besides the zits he has picked at, necessitating all the little bits of toilet tissue? I'm going to guess Massive Bald Oval Head Syndrome (MBOHS).
• I'd be surprised if Dr. Scott's Electric Corset didn't sell by the truckload. I mean, look at that lady. That corset is clearly rocking her "vital organs" big time. I doubt it's a coincidence that "organs" looks a lot like "orgasm," and that the word is running right up her leg.
• I want a T-shirt with that smoking rabbit head on it.

Best things about this back cover:

• Blah blah blah too much text too many colors my head hurts. 
• The integrated plug!? Sounds like an accessory for Dr. Scott's Electric Corset (plug sold separately).

Page 123~

Some excessively prudish criticisms of posters were voiced during this period. It is on record that even the Bovril bull was condemned by the town of Cork for the reason that it was too obviously a bull.

And thus I leave you with the image of massive bull schlong. You're welcome.

~RP

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57 Books from the University Book Sale: Book 17

Title: Stratford-Upon-Avon — Illustrated Guide Book (1933)
Author: n/a
Cover artist: no

Yours for: SOLD (11/21/09)

• I bought this exclusively for the maps, both the cover map an the (sizable) fold-out area map inside (immaculate).
• Lots of photos / maps inside, and huge chunks of advertising in front and back, including one for "Dr. J. Collis Browne's Chlorodyne — safe and reliable family remedy for INFLUENZA, coughs, colds, catarrh, asthma, bronchitis." Also something called "diarrhœa"!

• "Foreign Orders Receive Prompt Attention" — that's code! It's a papist plot! Man your punts!

Page 123~

GLOUCESTER is a busy city with none of the placid charm of Tewkesbury, but it has many features of interest.

~RP

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Paperback 225: Winner Take All / James McKimmey (Dell First Edition A185)

Paperback 225: Dell First Edition A185 (PBO, 1959???)

Title: Winner Take All
Author: James McKimmey
Cover artist: Darcy (what's his first name?)

Yours for: don't know ...

I'm posting a book I don't have in front of me. I have its scans on my computer, but I don't know where it is, physically (buried in my collection, no doubt). I usually blog books that I have right in front of me, but I can't scan any new books til I replace my printer/scanner (soon), so I'm relying on old scans for the moment. I'll run across the book eventually. For now, enjoy the scans ...



Best things about this cover:

• The abbreviation "GGA" (for Great Girl Art) gets attributed to a Lot of books, but this one truly deserves the tag. Wow. Shapely, classy, with an amazing face, exquisite hands, a stunning dress, and great dark accents giving her hair a kind of controlled kinetic feel. Yes, I will spend all my money at this table.
• Sadly for her, her head appears to be bathing in a haze of smoke that starts somewhere around shoulder level.
• Love how the red title tapers down into her hands, ending in a small pile of red chips
• Always nice when an artist signs his work (or his signature doesn't get cropped in production). Here, Darcy has put the signature near where people are apt to look, i.e. in the vicinity of her rear end.

Best things about this back cover:

• Well, I bet you didn't see that coming.
• Before Garanimals, there was ... Paris Belts. "This one goes with gray, moron."
• I can count on one hand the number of paperbacks that I own with advertisements on their back covers. Really truly odd/rare.
• I actually love the design, with the different colored dots and then the same-sized logo with the little Paris man and his proud puffy shirt
• Who wrote the cover copy, Yoda? "Rugged these belts are."
• "the finest long-stretch elastic ever used in belt-making" - you don't say. Why, that is impressive.
• Two of the belts have coats-of-arms, so you can rule Scotland in style.

No Page 123, sadly, as I have no book in front of me ... aargh. OK, I'm getting a printer/scanner tomorrow.

~RP