Paperback 754: Passionate Trio / John Davidson (Epic Book 120)

Paperback 754: Epic Book Original No. 120 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Passionate Trio
Author: John Davidson
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: Not for Sale (part of the Doug Peterson Collection)


Best things about this cover:

• I can't believe this cover photo *ever* read as salacious. It could easily be the cover of a modern girl group's album Right Now. Adorable.
• "Half-female" raises the important question WHAT IS THE OTHER HALF!? IS IT RANCH DRESSING!?
• Seriously, this photo looks like it was taken yesterday. Fantastic swimsuits! This may be the only cover where my reasons for wanting to see more of the women's bodies are almost purely fashion-related.

Best things about this back cover:

• Wild Font! Love it.
• Wow, the tonal gulf between cover photo and cover copy just gets deeper and wider…
• "Bill Hayward" made me laugh out loud. "Here is the story of something racy … Here is the story of something salacious … Here is the story of some random guy's name."
• Next time I feel caught in the insane whirl of my existence, and people ask me how I'm feeling, I'll be like "not gonna lie, kinda Bill Hayward today."
• READ THIS STORY, NOW! = my kind of advertising come-on. No beating around the bush. JUST BUY IT, MOTHERFUCKER!

Page 123~

Even from where he stood he could see that she was drunk.

"Why aren't you at work?"

"Too drunk," she replied. "Aha," he exclaimed. "Just as I thought."

~RP

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Paperback 101: The Chic Chick Spy / Bob Tralins (Belmont B50-718)

Paperback 101: Belmont B50-718 (PBO - I think - 1966)

Title: The Chic Chick Spy ("The Miss from S.I.S.")
Author: Bob Tralins
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: SOLD (5/27/08)


Best things about this cover:

• Another great cover copy claim - first, promises of vomit; now, declarations of absurdity.
• Love the ironic, self-referential, falsely modest cover copy ("Absolutely nothing in it is true ... you couldn't spend a better 50 cents")
• Is this woman a. directing traffic, b. casting spells, or c. fending off a defensive tackle?
  
• I love her murderous dance style: "L ... is for the way I Lacerate ... your faaaace..."
• Either a sniper is preparing to shoot her or she is able to jam enemy sonar with a tiny machine located in the underwire of the bra she isn't wearing.
• I submit that if this woman let her arms hang at her sides, she would be able to scratch her shins without bending at the waist one bit.
  

Best things about this back cover:

• "Booby sexed" - furthermore, "booby sexed." How am I supposed to pay attention to anything else on this cover?
• "... an organization that was making men feel queer and women feel like men" - OK, I'm going to have to read this if only to figure out how "booby sexed" fits into this whole queer / transgender theme. Do men grow boobies? Do women start ogling boobies? Are we sure that Ed Wood didn't write this?
• This is perhaps the only back cover in my collection that ends with an honest-to-god orgasm.
• This book is grimy. Solid, but covered with a thin layer of grime. I can't imagine what could have soiled it in precisely this fashion. It's as if it's been artfully basted with mud.
  

Page 123~ (this better be good...)

When she mounted the steps, she seemed to be weighed down by an enormous weight.

I'm sorry, I'm sure there are more lurid sentences on this page, but this is the first thing my eyes landed on, and it made me laugh out loud. "Mounted" was funny enough, but then ... well, here's how I imagine the author conceived the sentence:

• Author: "'When she mounted the steps, she seemed to be weighed down by ... by ...' Hmm, I know she needs to be weighed down by something, but what? ... [phones editor] ... yeah, hi Joe, I just wrote the part where she mounts the steps..."
• Joe: "Uh huh"
• Author: "... and I'm trying to describe how she's 'weighed down,' you know? But I can't think of what she could be weighed down by. I know it should be something big ... or giant. Maybe huge."
• Joe: "How about an enormous weight?"
• Author: "'... weighed down by an enormous weight.' Hey, that's good. I like how 'weight' sorta conveys the whole idea of being 'weighed down.' Thanks, Joe."

~RP

Paperback 63: Sophisticated Sinner / Tony Trelos (Brandon House 918)

Paperback 63: Brandon House 918 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Sophisticated Sinner
Author: Tony Trelos
Cover artist: sadly, uncredited


Best things about this cover:

• Another trashy Tony Trelos masterpiece (click on his name in the "tags" to see the other)
  
• Is it wrong that the things that excite me most about this cover are 1. the lamp shade, and 2. her (discarded) dress?
• Another thing that excites me: Unread / Fine Condition!
  
• "She looked like a lady ... but her lovers knew better!" - was the cover copy writer here aware that the opposite of "lady" is not just "slut" but also "dude?" "Her" torso is rather mannish (boobs aside).

Best things about this back cover:

• Boobs!
• Smoke!
• Those horizontal lines! If you stare at the actual book too long, you get a dizzy headache.
• "Narda," ha ha.

RP

Paperback 45: Pocket Books 447

Paperback 45: Pocket Books 447 (1st ptg, 1947)

Title: Turnabout
Author: Thorne Smith
Cover artist: Uncredited (possibly Charles L. McCann)

Yours for: SOLD! (8/22/08)

Best things about this cover:

• I can't believe that in the 1940's you could get away with a front cover featuring a transvestite man in the bed of a transsexual Joan Crawford impersonator. Progressive.
• I hope (for his sake) that those are his knees that are tenting that bed sheet.
• Look at the bloody talons peeking out from the sleeve of Man-Joan's candy-cane pyjamas. Run away, transvestite man, run away!
• I believe that Charles L. McCann illustrated this cover. Why? Well, this "woman" has McCann's signature noseless-alien design. Remember this looker, from one of McCann's illustrations in Let's Make Mary?

Of course you do.

I love that the front cover gives you No explanation of what exactly is going on with Joan and her John - you have to flip the book over to find out; not that things get much clearer ...

Best things about this back cover:

• "Ribald" - 40's code for "sexed-up"
• "It seems..."
• "Mr. Ram..." - because Egyptian gods like European formality
• "Tim now occupied his wife's body..." [!?]
• "personally" [???]
• Last sentence makes No grammatical sense - I believe "become" should be "becomes"; I know that Pocket Books had decent editors, so this is just embarrassing
• "... the most hilarious novel in many a moonshine" [which copy writers were clearly drinking when they wrote this up]

Thorne Smith was a terrifically popular "humor" writer of the 40's and 50's. I own several of his paperbacks. One features a lady with preposterous boobs not unlike Mr. Crawford's here, and she is riding a sheep. I know, you can't wait, but you'll have to.

RP