Showing posts with label Gold Medal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gold Medal. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Paperback 1124: The Removers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal s1082)

Paperback 1124: Gold Medal s1082 (PBO, 1961)

Title: The Removers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Condition: 6/10 (crease down the middle of the cover)
Value: $6-10
Best things about this cover: 
  • Another day, another Barye Phillips Gold Medal cover that is disappointingly sketchy. Why is this there so much unused space? Why is the woman so small? Bah!
  • Also: another day, another implausible color of "red" on the "red"head. That's like Ronald McDonald "red," come on.
  • On the other hand, love what the cover is doing with the "V" motif here—extending it up to provide space for the tagline, but also using it as a visual representation of the (imagined) gunshot. The whole "V" is like a speech bubble for the gun. A blast bubble.
  • I also dig this groovy sixties font.
Best things about this back cover: 
  • Interesting continuation of the "V" motif onto the back cover, extending and transforming it here into the top part of an exclamation point, with Helm himself as the emphatic dot!
  • Gold Medal mostly didn't bother with the blurbs from "legitimate" press—you sell these books with Great Girl Art (GGA) and author reputation, not critic blurbs—but I guess if the critics love you, you can try to appeal to the eggheads who would otherwise be embarrassed to be seen reading 35c books.
  • "A Creature of Sweetness and Havoc" would, I must admit, be a great crime novel title.
Page 123~
I put the phone down. I was looking at Beth, but for some reason I was seeing a long, low, green car—the color is known as British Racing Green—hurtling across the Arizona desert with that fine, wicked sound that you get only from high-class machinery that's really carrying the mail. Barring the true racing cars, the Jaguar is possibly, along with its American counterpart the Corvette, the most ridiculous vehicle made, from the viewpoint of efficient and economical transportation. You've got power enough to move a ten-ton truck attached to a loadspace barely adequate for two men and a small toothbrush. But it's an ego-satisfying machine in every respect [...]
OK, I've never read a Donald Hamilton novel before (that I can recall), but this stretch of prose actually makes me want to. I love an author who'll just do a funny little plot-irrelevant aside like this. Chandler was at his best when he'd let Marlowe do this sort of thing. Gonna throw a Hamilton novel onto the "summer vacation reading" list (already in danger of getting too long)

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and BlueSky]

Friday, July 4, 2025

Paperback 1122: The Bloody Medallion / Richard Telfair (Gold Medal d1665)

Paperback 1122: Gold Medal d1665 (2nd ptg, 1966)

Title: The Bloody Medallion
Author: Richard Telfair (Richard Jessup)
Cover artist: Bill Johnson

Condition: 6/10    
Value: $6-8

[from Stomping Grounds bookstore, Geneva, NY (6/24/25)]


Best things about this cover: 
  • Buddy! It's OK, buddy, I just walked into the wrong room, I'm leaving now. Good dog.
  • More dogs on covers! More, I say!
  • I know there is an attractive naked lady on this cover, but ... puppy!
  • That dog is looking directly at me. I have no idea what the lady is looking at.
  • Is she bathing ... in a six-inch-deep hole? What kind of bathtub is that? It looks like she's standing in a flooded bathroom. Maybe she's supposed to be outdoors? Seriously, where are we in this picture?
  • Look at them try to trick you into thinking this is a Sax Rohmer novel. I've never seen a blurb writer's name get displayed more prominently than that of the author. And they made Sax's name red like the title, too. Crafty marketers...


Best things about this back cover: 
  • Blood stains? That's it? Abstract red splatters? Where's buddy? I miss buddy.
  • Gay revenge story! (I'm just gonna assume "best friend" is a euphemism). Love it! 
  • Seriously, putting it on the "to read" pile. I love a good (or even bad) revenge tale. Telfair's name rings a bell, but I'm not sure why. Richard Jessup seems to have written a half dozen or so crime paperbacks under this name in the span of about four years (1959-62).
Page 123~
    "Strip," I said.
    Dutifully he began taking off his clothes. When he was nude, I ordered him to the water's edge.
I'm just gonna stop there. It's sexier that way.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and BlueSky]

Monday, May 26, 2025

Paperback 1106: The Scarf / Robert Bloch (Gold Medal d1727)

 Paperback 1106: Gold Medal d1727 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: The Scarf
Author: Robert Bloch
Cover artist: Uncredited (Harry Bennett?)

Condition: 6/10
Value: $15

Best things about this cover: 
  • The terrifying story of a girl whose deep fear of scarves drove her to retreat into a dome of mosquito netting!
  • I mean, maybe it's not the most flattering scarf, but it seems like she's overreacting. Just try it on!
  • Robert Bloch, after 1960, is always (on book covers) "the author of PSYCHO" (which is what happens when you write PSYCHO)
  • The killer-POV cover has a long history in paperbacks. Here's a Rudolph Belarski cover from the mid-'40s that's basically got the same idea as this cover ("fear hands" and all!):



And now the back cover of The Scarf:

Best things about this back cover: 
  • That opening graf is a dud. "Of a sort"? What the hell does that mean? "Early"? Compared to what? Dan Morley? That is not a name that inspires terror. Or admiration. Or much of anything.
  • "Neatly plotted" sounds like an insult. A backhanded compliment. "Hey, you can plot ... neat!"
  • Kids: you really should wear gloves when handling abnormal psychology. Don't let the Saturday Review tempt you into behavior you're going to regret.

Page 123~

His thumb—a weenie encircled by a diamond ring—prodded my knee.

One of the greatest "Page 123" sentences of all time. You think it's peaked at "weenie encircled by a diamond ring," but then the blunt "prodded my knee" comes along and really delivers the knockout. "Prodded." Wow. Word choice matters. 10/10. Perfect. This is why I do "Page 123"—always entertaining, and then every once in a while: gold.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky]

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Paperback 991: The Silencers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1392)

Paperback 991: Gold Medal k1392 (2nd ptg, 1964)

Title: The Silencers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover art: Uncredited

Condition: 9/10 (unread)
Estimated value: $13-15

GM1392
Best things about this cover:
  • Is that a belt? It looks like Satan's own spatula. Either way, that's *gotta* hurt.
  • What kind of space-age roller-coaster are these people fighting over?
  • I love the effusion of motion lines. Makes a mockery of the very idea of motion lines. Way more lines than there could be motions. Bonkers.
  • I'm guessing the lady is supposed to be bound, but it looks like she was just napping.

GM1392bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • "... a long day's journey into ..." The next word in that sentence should be MURDER, not the painfully anticlimactic "the New Mexico mountains."
  • "God help us all"—man, I didn't realize official file cards got that emotive.
  • "Jimmy Bond!" "Fop!" Take that ... Britain!

Page 123~

"Then somebody heaved a knife and everything went to hell."

Thanksgiving's a rough holiday for everyone.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, September 16, 2016

Paperback 973: The Road's End / Albert Conroy (Gold Medal 231)

Paperback 973: Gold Medal 231 (PBO, 1952)

Title: The Road's End
Author: Albert Conroy
Cover artist: [Barye Phillips]

Estimated value: $17-22
Condition: 8/10

GM231
Best things about this cover:
  • No joke, this dude looks eerily like 22-year-old me. Leering ladies in my doorway, not so much.
  • "There were too many women in his life"—you'd think at least one of them would help him clean that sty.
  • This appears to be some post-apocalyptic tale of drought, where water is money so you keep it close at hand and never wash anything.
  • Where ... did his fingers go? Fear claw!

GM231bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • "Curved feminine flesh" is less sexy-sounding than this book seems to think it is. More meat cut than sexpot.
  • "Who are you?" he asked. "And who am I?"—finally, a sleaze paperback that reflects the then-current trends in existentialist philosophy.
  • "I found a pasty man and put him in the shed. Can we keep him, mom? Can we!?"

Page 123~

My knee came up automatically and sank into his groin. And again. And again.

OK, I'm out.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Paperback 915: Murder in Room 13 / Albert Conroy (Gold Medal 806)

Paperback 915: Gold Medal 806 (PBO, 1958)

Title: Murder in Room 13
Author: Albert Conroy
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $6-8

GM806
Best things about this cover:
  • Women Falling Backwards Over Beds Or Couches should really be a "Tag" on this blog. Happens all the time, or at least, let's say, six times.
  • This looks like Barye Phillips, but there's no art credit, so ... Uncredited.
  • I think the figure departing via the door is supposed to look sinister, but instead he looks cartoonishly cornball. Like some combination of Peter Lorre and Boris Badinov and a badger.
  • I think the giant "13" is where it is because the artist kind of screwed up her middle section. Foreshortening of the body is all wrong and her boobs are just ... odd ... somehow.

GM806bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • The evidence! Now in dramatic yellow!
  • This reads like the most generic crime story pitch of all time. It's got all the elements. Ex-pug. Alcoholic haze. Motel. Raincoat. I mean, I'd be *in* if you gave me even the *slightest* reason to care.
  • Murderer! Now in dramatic italics!

Page 123~

"What the hell do you want?" She sounded surly-drunk.

This novel probably sucks, but I'd say this guy's compound adjective skills are at least promising.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Paperback 898: Seminole / Theodore Pratt (Gold Medal 635)

Paperback 898: Gold Medal 635 (2nd ptg, 1957)

Title: Seminole
Author: Theodore Pratt
Cover artist: Jack Floherty [signature]

Estimated value: $7-10

GM635
Best things about this cover:
  • Full frontal is cool if a. the woman is "native" or otherwise of color and b. you airbrush the nipple into virtual nothingness.
  • Nothing says "sexy" like a slave auction! Seriously, this cover is infinitely gross.
  • Mr. Top Hat Akimbo in the background knows it's gross. He and his bow tie are having none of it.
  • If you're wondering whom the auctioneer is pointing at, just wait ...

GM635bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • Wraparound!
  • Sky looks even more insane back here. It's like Captain Cogitation there is summoning storm clouds with his mind. And his pointing pal is saying "Oooh, that one looks like a bunny."
  • This painting is much, much better with the native slave auction cropped out of it.
  • Just watched "Key Largo" and I'm pretty sure those two Native Americans that killed are called "The Osceola  Brothers." This Osceola was a leader of the Seminole resistance during the Second Seminole War.
  • At least this novel seems to know what the white man is a "marauder."

Page 123~

Indians lay in water with lily pads over their faces to hide from the white soldiers. Seminole children were buried in pits to their heads, which were covered over with palmetto to conceal them.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Paperback 886: The Girl From Midnight / Wade Miller (Gold Medal s1221)

Paperback 886: Gold Medal s1221 (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Girl from Midnight
Author: Wade Miller
Cover artist: Robert Abbett

Estimated value: $20

GM1221
Best things about this cover:

  • Houston, we have Hair Failure.
  • She has my hairline.
  • Not sure how you manage to make naked lady with giant cat look like an alien extra on "Star Trek: TNG," but here we are.
  • Where the hell is Midnight?
  • Kitty thinks you're hilarious.


GM1221bc
Best things about this back cover:

  • Seriously, just scooch her wig forward like an inch and you're in business.
  • Rand Hammond is like something out of a Square-Jawed Sap Name Generator.
  • I like the idea of Rand Hammond working quietly in his veterinarian's office when suddenly a naked bipedal cat just drops from the ceiling.


Page 123~

"His name's Wingy Heller, alias the entire phone book. Anybody remember him?"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Paperback 882: Murder for the Bride / John D. MacDonald (Gold Medal R2116)

Paperback 882: Gold Medal R2116 (Unknown ptg, ca. late '60s)

Title: Murder for the Bride
Author: John D. MacDonald
Cover artist: Uncredited [some booksellers credit Milton Charles, whoever that is]

Estimated value: $8-10

[Donation to the collection from L. Gagne]

GM2116
Best things about this cover:
  • Pretty safe. Except for the shocking pink border, pretty safe.
  • She has Gibson Girl hair. Weird.
  • The lady was so bored by the cover concept that she fell asleep.
  • Gold Medal did this annoying thing starting some time in the '60s where it stopped giving printing information, including publication date :(

GM2116bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • Check box 1 for "Angel," box 2 for "Tramp" ... what? No, there are no other boxes, you tramp.
  • Hey, looks like John D. finally caught that fly on the ceiling that was bugging him. He looks so content.
  • I kind of want to disappear to a remote beachside hut and read only John D. MacDonald for like a week.

Page 123~

"Alligators bellering at night."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Paperback 881: Please Write For Details / John D. MacDonald (Gold Medal R1922)

Paperback 881: Gold Medal R1922 (unknown ptg, 1968)

Title: Please Write for Details
Author: John D. MacDonald
Cover artist: Uncredited [Mitchell Hooks]

Estimated value: $5-8

[Donation to the collection courtesy of L. Gagne]

GM1922
Best things about this cover:
  • Love how all those dorky guys are checking her out, but she's swiveled around to face you because, well, you're doing the same thing, big boy. She has the best "Like what you see?" face ever.
  • I am not familiar with MacDonald's comedy writing. Most everything else I have by him is Travis McGee stuff.
  • This book takes place at a "Mexican art colony," in case you're looking at the dorky guys and going "WTF?"

GM1922bc
 Best things about this back cover:
  • "Why, yes. Yes, I *do* enjoy those three things. You've piqued my interest. I *will* write for details. Thanks for your help."
  • That first sentence is an epic, loony, self-parodying masterpiece. Can you hitch your starload to a bent?
  • Great hyphen confusion. I read "love-lies" as "lies one tells about love"; but it's just "lovelies."
  • John D. MacDonald, still staring down that fly on the ceiling.

Page 123~

Torrigan had the usual ideas, all right, but he was a lot easier to handle. Hinting you could be a real hell of a painter if he'd let you learn all about Life from him. Always trying to load your drinks. And that tired game that goes I've-just-got-my-arm-around-you-because-I'm-just-a-big-friendly-guy. No trick in handling him.

Nothing like a good, withering take-down of a leering phony. I like the knowing, implicitly female perspective. This seems like it might be worth reading.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Paperback 876: Lie Down, Killer / Richard Prather (Gold Medal s1166)

Paperback 876: Gold Medal s1166 (5th ptg, 1962)

Title: Lie Down, Killer
Author: Richard S. Prather
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Estimated value: $6-10

GMs1166
Best things about this cover:

  • Good boy. Stay.
  • Dude's "Down Dog" sucks.
  • She has awesome Disappointment Face.
  • We've seen this book before, under different cover.


GMs1166bc
Best things about this back cover:

  • Aw, man, it's even got the same back cover copy as the last version
  • Apparently this is the story of a man who got a police badge tattooed on his penis, which then got infected. Edgy.
  • This book should've been called "Ask Margo" or "That Woman Gag."


Page 123~

They both laughed loudly and then Gross said to Steve, "Doesn't that convince you, jerk?"
Steve said nothing.

Then Steve retorted, "Yeah? Well, you're gross! hahahahahaha…" Then they shot Steve in the face The End.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Paperback 873: Case of the Village Tramp / Jonathan Craig (Gold Medal 930)

Paperback 873: Gold Medal 930 (PBO, 1959)

Title: Case of the Village  Tramp
Author: Jonathan Craig
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $15-20

GM930
Best things about this cover:

  • Detective Peter Selby prepares to add another tiara to his collection.
  • Detective Peter Selby could use a new mattress too, actually, now that he thinks of it.
  • Today this apartment goes for $1.8 million.
  • I want to go to the Village Bar. Right now. I think Detective Peter Selby does too.
  • One Red Shoe is paperback code for TRAMP (I guess).


GM930bc
Best things about this back cover:

  • The belt.
  • "Small *black* pumps? [Looks at cover] Aw, crap, someone get the art department on the phone!"
  • I feel like "this was the Big Sleep" needs a HUGE asterisk next to it.


Page 123~

"You're talking to the wall, lover," she said. "Good-by and good luck."

Another great line I insist you use today. I need to start a compilation. Maybe a line of t-shirts.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Monday, February 16, 2015

Paperback 860: Case of the Petticoat Murder / Jonathan Craig (Gold Medal 784)

Paperback 860: Gold Medal 784 (PBO, 1958)

Title: Case of the Petticoat Murder
Author: Jonathan Craig
Cover artist: Uncredited

Estimated value: $20

GM784

Best things about this cover:

  • The second movement of "Eroica" *is* pretty groovy…
  • That hand is halfway between Fear Hand and "You Want Some of This?" Hand.
  • I really, really like that bare suggestion of a bed frame. It's a pair of lips! It's a gun sight! The whole spirit of Sexy/Danger conveyed in a few graceful black arcs.


GM784bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • Mustard. I think that's what I'm looking at.
  • I wish all the non-green words would just drop away. Now that's what I call "poetry."
  • You rarely see detectives so proud of their necrophilic tendencies.

Page 123~

"Because, for one thing, I don't care for alligator."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Paperback 845: Uncle Good's Week-End Party / John Faulkner (Gold Medal 1031)

Paperback 845: Gold Medal 1031 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Uncle Good's Week-End Party
Author: John Faulkner
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Estimated value: $20-25

GM1031

Best things about this cover:

  • Try to find a creepier title/cover art pairing. Go ahead. I'll wait.
  • Uncle Good likes to watch. And smoke. And hunch. And not tuck his shirt in.
  • The funniest thing on this cover is "Faulkner."
  • MTV canceled this after one season.
  • What is "NOOT?"


GM1031bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • I like how this cover starts, anyway.
  • Let me get this straight: I'll laugh at the side-splitting antics of an old man who rents out his own daughters? An old man who is his daughters' pimp? Or does he rent them out as clowns for children's birthday parties? Please say "B."
  • ORTA. That is all.


Page 123~

Orta June and Jewel Mae had stood up as the husbands came stumbling and crawling across the porch. Soon the husbands were thick around them.

This is like a zombie movie. But with husbands.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, December 5, 2014

Paperback 840: Not I, Said the Vixen / Bill S. Ballinger (Gold Medal k1529)

Paperback 840: Gold Medal k1529 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Not I, Said the Vixen
Author: Bill S. Ballinger
Cover artist: [Bill Johnson]

Estimated value: $8-12

Donation to the collection from Mr. John Q. Brooklyn (I don't want to use real names w/o permission). Guy asks me "Can I send you a book for your blog?" Twist my arm!

GM1529

Best things about this cover:

  • "Isn't it true that your favorite letter is "I", Miss Lorents? ANSWER THE QUESTION!"
  • "Do you deny that you are overwhelmingly sensual? DO YOU!?"
  • This is a "vixen"? This looks like someone who showed up to a table reading for her role as "Vixen" in an episode of "Perry Mason." She does have a pretty boss head-tilt, but my prescription for greater vixenitude is less clothes, more gun. And … yeah, sure, go ahead and put on the glasses. OK, now shoot the D.A. and then stand over his body like, "told ya."


GM1529bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • Way to bury the lede, Gold Medal. How is PROWLED THE WORLD OF TWILIGHT WOMEN not on the cover!?
  • She "ruined her lovers with the hot breath of scandal" ("scandal" being a last-minute substitute for "chili cheese fries")
  • "Please state your name for the record." "Ivy Lorents." "And how do you spell 'Ivy,' Miss Lorents? I presume it starts 'I', 'V'…" "Not I." "Objection! Permission to treat the vixen as sensual, your honor."


Page 123~

"You had her … falling all over herself," Ivy said, pleased with the memory of Pauline's discomfort.

Please invest that sentence with all the Sapphic innuendo you can muster.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Friday, November 14, 2014

Paperback 831: April Evil / John D. MacDonald (Gold Medal d1579)

Paperback 831: Gold Medal d1579 (1st thus, 1965)

Title: April Evil
Author: John D. MacDonald
Cover artist: Bill Johnson

Estimated value: $10-$15

GM1579

Best things about this cover:

  • The hot new book that finally answers the question: How many trenchcoated, fedoraed detectives does it take to find a lost contact lens?
  • You know what they say: April Evil brings May Bondage.
  • After looking at this picture, I wonder if it's not the "hold-up gang" that's "sleepy."
  • This is a fine, if weird, painting. Good use of small canvas. Her simple white top and blue skirt, surrounded by the lurking, drab frames of generic menace, make her really pop off the page.


GM1579bc

Best things about this back cover:

  • Ugh.
  • Don't you hate it when women choose the easy sluttish rut? Challenge yourselves, ladies!
  • How can you be "going to flab" while "losing something in the guts department"? Writing 101: don't let your stupid metaphors cancel each other out.


Page 123~

She smiled, and she felt cat-agile, rabbit-soft, mare-ready.

This was a vast improvement from a half hour earlier, when she had felt dog-tired, armadillo-hard, and lemur-unprepared.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Paperback 814: Assignment: Moon Girl / Edward S. Aarons (Gold Medal d1849)

Paperback 814: Gold Medal d1849 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Assignment: Moon Girl
Author: Edward S. Aarons
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $24

GM1849

Best things about this cover:
  • Assignment: Tiger Butt.
  • Fear has done terrible things to her Hand.
  • The brave, lonely harem girl protected Algaeville's last monument with the only proven defense against tiger attacks: sexiness.
  • Those letters look like an art project I once worked on in third grade.
  • This book is in nearly flawless condition. You can almost smell the moon algae tiger monument harem pants.

GM1849bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • The lady and the tiger? Aw, you mean the front cover was a metaphor all along?! Boooo!
  • "Get on down to The Lady and the Tiger—half price on Har-Buri-Tos through Tuesday!"
  • Sam Durell sees that you're tailing him and doesn't like it.

Page 123~

Nobody was in the clear, these days.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Monday, May 26, 2014

Paperback 779: Million Dollar Murder / Edward Ronns (Gold Medal 110)

Paperback 779: Gold Medal 110 (PBO, 1950)

Title: Million Dollar Murder
Author: Edward Ronns
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $9

GM110

Best things about this cover:
  • His head is decidedly not in proportion to the rest of him. I imagine his voice is helium-ridden. "Throw me the flashlight," he squeaked.
  • There is a genre of cover painting wherein dead women are draped backwards over pieces of furniture (beds, couches, etc.), of which this painting is a close cousin. Coming back toward the camera, tits high and mighty. It's disturbing, though I guess if I just imagine she's sleeping … less so.
  • The cover copy *sounds* good, but really, really lacks logic.


GM110bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • Early paperbacks were terrible at this back-cover stuff. Except Dell. Mapbacks heal all wounds.
  • "A list. A list of things one might find in a cheap thriller. A list where the last item is long and convoluted. And murder times infinity."
  • Edward Ronns is really Edward S. Aarons. Or vice versa. I forget. (I was right the first time)

Page 123~

Broom said: "You're learning. About the birds and the bees, I mean. Take the bees, for instance. The queen bee, especially. You know much about the queen bee, Sam?"

"You're driveling," Sam said.

"Look," Broom eructed, "if you're not going to take these apiology classes seriously, you're never going to be able to write an adequate epic simile. So shut up and listen!"

~RP

PS Fear Hand!

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Paperback 762: Case of the Cold Coquette / Jonathan Craig (Gold Medal 645)

Paperback 762: Gold Medal 645 (PBO, 1957)

Title: Case of the Cold Coquette
Author: Jonathan Craig
Cover artist: George Mayers

Yours for: $11

GM645

Best things about this cover:
  • Cold? Maybe if she put her shirt back on …
  • Oh, *that* kind of iceberg. The ones that are beautiful and are thawed by money. I was thinking of the ones that are made of ice and float in the ocean and are thawed by the rays of the sun. But I get it now. Good analogy.
  • If you're looking for your right shoe, lady, it's under the bench … there … toward your left … no, not in the corner—down … straight down … are you even trying? 
  • Seriously, what is she doing? Some kind of weird half-naked bench yoga?

GM645bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • "I'm a cop." Original!
  • Champagne tastes … but caviar guts-on-the-track!
  • We get it. Cold, thaw, etc. Give the metaphor a rest; I think it's tired.
  • I always say, the best leads are succulent leads. Like aloe. A great lead, aloe.

Page 123~

"The mark is so hotted up he can't think straight."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Paperback 745: The Wild Horse / Les Savage, Jr. (Gold Medal 111)

Paperback 745: Gold Medal 111 (PBO, 1950)

Title: The Wild Horse
Author: Les Savage, Jr.
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $10

GM111

Best things about this cover:
  • The horse or the girl! Every man must choose.
  • When you find your horse "desirable," well, it reacts like this.
  • Few writers were more savage than … Les Savage!"
  • Musculature lovingly drawn by someone who appears to have spent a Lot of time underneath a horse.

GM111bc

Best things about this back cover:
  • "If you like girls and horses and especially girl horses, prepare your blood for stirring!"
  • Oh, the horse is a him. The plot thickens.
  • Look, there's "horse lover" and then there's whatever bizarre romance novel shenanigans is going on here. If your horse is kindling in your breast a wild dream of possession for more than four hours, see a doctor.
  • He's written best-sellers before, so … who's to say he won't some time again in the future. Les Savage!

Page 123~

"Why not put it in words, Rockwall? It's been in both our minds for a long time now. You can't deny it, can you?"

I really, really want the horse's name to be 'Rockwall.'

~RP

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