Paperback 1132: Mercedes / Carl Demarco (Midwood 33-714)

 Paperback 1132: Midwood 33-714 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Mercedes

Author: Carl Demarco

Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 6/10

Value: $11

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• The long-awaited sequel to Hyundai.
• So ... she discovered that there was a staircase as well as an elevator? Exciting.
• I wish she filled more of the frame—so much more of the frame that the dope who's looking at her got pushed right out. There is a long tradition of "cardboard-cutout dude who is there only to ogle the hot woman" in paperback art, but this guy may be the cardboard-cutoutiest. She's so bored by him that she's turned to us for help.
• Her hair is perfect. The rest of her is pretty good too. I know I'm meant to look at her ass, but I kinda wish I could see the whole dress.
• I would lose my fucking mind if I spent more than three minutes in a room this color. So relentlessly This Color.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Just a B&W version of the cover?? The look and tone of both the art and the cover copy are so weary and half-hearted that I feel like that final line should read "[Sigh] Yet Another Midwood Original (We're Out Of Ideas)"
• I keep looking at her right hand to see if it has the correct number of fingers. There's something slightly ... mangled about it.
• "Penetrating"? OK, easy there, copy guy.
• "With whom"? Well, la-di-dah, copy guy.

Page 123~

    With a strange urgency, she passed her hands over her body—nude beneath the sheets—as if to reassure herself that she was all there, intact [!], that she hadn't left a part of herself with the sensuous Suzanne!

"My left kneecap ... Where's My Left Kneecap!? Curse your lesbian witchery, Suzanne!"

~RP

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Paperback 1122: The Bloody Medallion / Richard Telfair (Gold Medal d1665)

Paperback 1122: Gold Medal d1665 (2nd ptg, 1966)

Title: The Bloody Medallion

Author: Richard Telfair (Richard Jessup)

Cover artist: Bill Johnson

Condition: 6/10    

Value: $6-8

[from Stomping Grounds bookstore, Geneva, NY (6/24/25)]

Best things about this cover: 

• Buddy! It's OK, buddy, I just walked into the wrong room, I'm leaving now. Good dog.
• More dogs on covers! More, I say!
• I know there is an attractive naked lady on this cover, but ... puppy!
• That dog is looking directly at me. I have no idea what the lady is looking at.
• Is she bathing ... in a six-inch-deep hole? What kind of bathtub is that? It looks like she's standing in a flooded bathroom. Maybe she's supposed to be outdoors? Seriously, where are we in this picture?
• Look at them try to trick you into thinking this is a Sax Rohmer novel. I've never seen a blurb writer's name get displayed more prominently than that of the author. And they made Sax's name red like the title, too. Crafty marketers...

Best things about this back cover: 

• Blood stains? That's it? Abstract red splatters? Where's buddy? I miss buddy.
• Gay revenge story! (I'm just gonna assume "best friend" is a euphemism). Love it! 
• Seriously, putting it on the "to read" pile. I love a good (or even bad) revenge tale. Telfair's name rings a bell, but I'm not sure why. Richard Jessup seems to have written a half dozen or so crime paperbacks under this name in the span of about four years (1959-62).

Page 123~

    "Strip," I said.

    Dutifully he began taking off his clothes. When he was nude, I ordered him to the water's edge.

I'm just gonna stop there. It's sexier that way.

~RP

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Paperback 1106: The Scarf / Robert Bloch (Gold Medal d1727)

 Paperback 1106: Gold Medal d1727 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: The Scarf

Author: Robert Bloch

Cover artist: Uncredited (Harry Bennett?)

Condition: 6/10

Value: $15

Best things about this cover: 

• The terrifying story of a girl whose deep fear of scarves drove her to retreat into a dome of mosquito netting!
• I mean, maybe it's not the most flattering scarf, but it seems like she's overreacting. Just try it on!
• Robert Bloch, after 1960, is always (on book covers) "the author of PSYCHO" (which is what happens when you write PSYCHO)
• The killer-POV cover has a long history in paperbacks. Here's a Rudolph Belarski cover from the mid-'40s that's basically got the same idea as this cover ("fear hands" and all!):

And now the back cover of The Scarf:

Best things about this back cover: 

• That opening graf is a dud. "Of a sort"? What the hell does that mean? "Early"? Compared to what? Dan Morley? That is not a name that inspires terror. Or admiration. Or much of anything.
• "Neatly plotted" sounds like an insult. A backhanded compliment. "Hey, you can plot ... neat!"
• Kids: you really should wear gloves when handling abnormal psychology. Don't let the Saturday Review tempt you into behavior you're going to regret.

Page 123~

His thumb—a weenie encircled by a diamond ring—prodded my knee.

One of the greatest "Page 123" sentences of all time. You think it's peaked at "weenie encircled by a diamond ring," but then the blunt "prodded my knee" comes along and really delivers the knockout. "Prodded." Wow. Word choice matters. 10/10. Perfect. This is why I do "Page 123"—always entertaining, and then every once in a while: gold.

~RP

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Paperback 1086: Pipe Night / John O'Hara (Bantam H3104)

 Paperback 1086: Bantam H3104 (1st Bantam, 1966)

Title: Pipe Night

Author: John O'Hara

Cover artist: Avati or a good impersonation thereof

Condition: 7    

Value: $7

[Autumn Leaves, Ithaca, NY, May 2024]

Best things about this cover: 

• Absolutely insane depth-of-field. Amazing that you can get so much dramatic weight out of a dude that tiny. Also, I like that I (apparently) *am* the dude. That is a mirror, right? Hey, I look good in a tux! (a claim that cannot be disproven by this cover—the power of tininess!)
• I like the subtle nightmarish quality of this cover. Innocuous situation, but it's floating in pure dreamlike darkness. Also, the mirror looks like it might be a portal to hell. Is that a sexy over-the-shoulder glance, or a mischievous "I'm going through the Infernal Door to live with Satan now" glance.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Tag yourself, I'm FURTIVE ADULTERERS (jk, honey)
• Having fun saying FURTIVE ADULTERERS five times fast
• Public Lies and Private Hells—always a winning formula

Page 123~

[from "Where's the Game?"]

"I'm a salesman."

"Selling what? Papers?" said Wilkey.

"Furniture," said Garfin.

"Furniture. Well, Garfin, I don't want any," said Wilkey.

"That's your privilege," said Garfin.

"That's right. It's my privilege. And you know what else is my privilege? My privilege is I don't like your kisser."

If this were a western, that would be the line that cleared the saloon...

~RP

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Paperback 1084: Almost April / Zoa Sherburne (Scholastic Book Services T -254)

 Paperback 1084: SBS T-254 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: Almost April

Author: Zoa Sherburne

Cover artist: David Jonas

Condition: 7/10

Value: $8

[Riverow Books, Owego, NY, May 2024]

Best things about this cover: 

• After his girlfriend April died in a tragic sea serpent attack, Steve tried to make every girl he dated into a new April. With this latest one (Karen, aka April 4.0) he'd gotten close, but the chin ... the chin was wrong. He knew it, Karen knew it, the whole town knew it. Could Steve be content with ... Almost April?!
• He's pretty casual for a guy who still has the blood of the drifter he killed splattered all over him.
• She could use a little sun, but her outfit is impeccable. Her: windswept elegance. Him: Tony Perkins' stand-in.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Ooh, wraparound cover. Always exciting (to me), although that washed-up branch is pretty badly rendered. It looks like it's sprouting tentacles—which would, admittedly, instantly make this book 10x cooler. But they're insufficiently tentacley to create terror and so end up just looking stupid. The rest of the landscape looks fantastic.
• "Poor Dad" is about the last thing I expected to follow the sentence "Karen threw herself on the bed."
• "How can she make him understand about Nels?" How can you make *me* understand about Nels? Specifically, his name. Talk me through that.

Page 123~

Karen felt a little sick, reading the letter. She knew how her grandmother loathed television and how she clung to her old-fashioned monstrosity of a house. 

When Karen thought of how dreary her life would be there, with no "Gilligan's Island" and no "Hogan's Heroes" to keep her company, she panicked and ran to the beach to throw herself into the sea. Would Steve save her!? Or just watch like the jerk he obviously is?

~RP

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Paperback 1070: Laughsville, U.S.A. / [No one willing to take credit] (Scholastic T 648)

Paperback 1070: Scholastic T 648 (2nd ptg, 1966)

Title: Laughsville, U.S.A.

Author: Uncredited

Cover artist: George Wilde 

Illustrated by: George Wilde

Condition: 6/10

Value: $6

Best things about this cover:

• So much to recoil at here, but tooth asymmetry is haunting me more than I would've expected. That's an odd number of teeth, with one central Tooth. It's very disconcerting.
• "Can you make it look like he has sort of stubby penis growing out of his forehead?" "I ... can, but ..." "And sort of pube-y little tufts of hair, but only above his ears?" "I don't under-..." "Also his eyes should be beady soulless little things." "[Sigh]. And his ears?" "Filthy."
• "Gulps" and "Gags" really giving this book a vibe I'm not sure it's aiming for. Also, wtf is a "gulps" in this context?
• Also, wtf is "pomes" in this context? It's like I'm being asked to imagine a balding middle-aged guy happily choking on small fruit. Truly weird.

Best things about this back cover:

• OMG the faces are somehow more horrific, how, How?
• Dude's face has been forcefully cleaved in two by the Laughsville sign and he's still smiling. Truly demonic.
• I do love a cover that tells you precisely, mathematically, how funny it is. If you're on a low-yuk diet, this book is for you!

Page 123~

I was packing for camp and one pr.

Of my socks disappeared 'neath the chr.

So I then from my bro.

Had to borrow ano.

Or my toes and my feet would be br.

 Well, I'm making sounds alright, but I'm not sure I'd call them "guffaws."

~RP

[Follow Pop Sensation on Instagram @popsensationpaperbacks]

Paperback 1062: Tama, Princess of Mercury / Ray Cummings (Ace F-406)

Paperback 1062: Ace F-406 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Tama, Princess of Mercury

Author: Ray Cummings

Cover artist: Podwil

Condition: 9/10

Value: ~$10

Best things about this cover:

• Carving Jack O' Lanterns is a bloodsport on Mercury
• Monster looks surprised to find out that the "princess" has blood-tipped wings and a big fucking dagger
• I relate to the dude on the ground pointing and going "oh hell no, I don't want any of this, run away!"
• Author Tama Janowitz is now not the only Tama I've ever heard of

Best things about this back cover:

• Guy Palisse, Space-Explorer—gonna get some business cards made up and just hand them out to everyone I meet
• Guy Palisse, Space-Explorer / President, Bolton Flying Cube, Inc.
• Move over Gay Talese, it's ... Guy Palisse!
• "...warded off war between the two worlds" is a terrible mumbly mouthful
• Guy Palisse and the Frenzied Mercurians were the toast of New York's early-80s post-punk scene

Page 123~

The infuriated, reckless girls hurled themselves down like frenzied birds.

Is anyone on Mercury *not* frenzied? Seems like a stressful place to visit. Probably gonna take my Flying Cube somewhere else this summer.  

~RP

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Paperback 1026: Purless Sex Cat / Jon Basell (Compass Line CL 130)

Paperback 1026: Compass Line CL 130 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Purless Sex Cat
Author: Jon Basell
Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $40-50

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• I forced a bot to look at 1000 vintage sleaze paperback covers and then asked it to design a cover of its own. This is the result.
• What even is this? Any of this? It's like something from the Island of Dr. Moreau, but in book form. The colors? Terrible. The weird geometric shapes? Ridiculous. His torso looks like the face of drunk Homer Simpson. And then there's "Purless." Purless. Look, I don't know what happened here, but if this is Purless, then I say someone needs to Pur more. A lot more.
• The phrase is "sex kitten," you language-maiming Turing Test failure.
• Her ass is for "Adults Only," which seems totally reasonable, although I can't imagine why any non-deranged "minor" would want to buy this confusing trash heap.
• "From sex to limitless sex" is easily the greatest play on "from sea to shining sea" that ever was or will be.
• Dear lord, his cyan briefs will haunt my dreams for months.

Best things about this back cover:

• Well, they forgot to print the lead-in all-caps tagline, so there's that?
• This sentence has no beginning, no end, no purpose, no dignity, its erotic body never sated, demanding and loving rambling with commas and they too know from others that physical satisfaction is flitting from sex to sex in their ... RUTTING REVERIES
• Pink. I like the pink. Yes. It's pleasant. Like a nicely iced cupcake. 

Page 123~

     So I acted real helpless and weak while the skindiver helped me out of the water and on up the shore of the island. It was real comical the way his face got all red when he got a good look at how naked I was. Or maybe it was because he was naked, too.
     "Th-thank you," I gasped, while he got even redder and said that his camp was a few feet away and maybe some whiskey would make us both feel better."

Well I know some whiskey would make me feel better after that linguistic atrocity so byeeee

~RP

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Paperback 1023: Children of the Void / William Dexter (Paperback Library 52-357)

Paperback 1023: Paperback Library 52-357 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Children of the Void
Author: William Dexter
Cover artist: Uncredited ("The artist is not credited, no visible signature [Jack Gaughan ?]" (isfdb)) 

Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $10-12
Best things about this cover:

• Used Spaceship Salesmen of the Void
• When the humans you're using for biceps curls suddenly get a mind of their own...
• My favorite word on this cover is "Violently." Like, how else is an Earth going to be "torn from its sun"? "Affectionately"?
• Grafton can't even get to his damned spaceship. How's he gonna halt a runaway world when this animatronic Chuck E. Cheese reject makes him run in terror?
• Not at all sure they didn't mean "Children of the Noid"; the similarities are uncanny:

And now...
Best things about this back cover:

• Wow, superdumb title replication, but super cool sketch of '60s scifi futurism. Spaceships were awesomest when they were entirely fanciful. I don't want to live in a future that isn't a mid-century future.
• That is a particularly dull and detail-free opening paragraph.
• Wow, Denis Grafton (!) is a recurring character? The basis of a series? He's like Chairman of the Board of Space Heroes That Time Totally and Utterly Forgot

Page 123~

But there was always something at the back of the adult mind that whispered to us that we should shun these strange creatures.

O great, a treatise on right-wing immigration policy. No thanks.

~RP

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Paperback 1015: Three-And-A-Half Women / Fred May (Private Edition 372)

Paperback 1015: Private Edition PE 372 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Three-And-A-Half Women
Author: Fred May
Cover artist: [Uncredited]

Condition: 9/10 (I mean, square, unread, bright, wow)
Estimated value: Priceless ... also, I don't see this book anywhere on the internets, so ???

Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection

Best things about this cover:

• The paperback cover gods giveth and the paperback cover gods taketh away and sometimes the paperback cover gods give you so much that it is simply overwhelming and it feels like punishment
• I want to start with the hair. Her hair ... OK, moving on
• This is One, One-And-A-Half Women, tops
• One-And-Three-Quarters Buttcheeks
• I feel like there is a black hole located somewhere under the bed that is exerting its gravitational pull in remarkably distorting ways. It's literally pulling him off the bed. Or else he's taking a knee in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick, not sure.
• Someone was absent during Perspective day in art class. How big is that bed? How short is her left calf? What is that rope-holding peg even attached to??
• His Fear Hand™!! (O god I *hope* that's just Fear Hand™ and not him trying to suppress something pushing up from under his camisole...)

Best things about this back cover: 

• Nothing says "erotic reading" like "squatted" and (le mot juste) "haunches."
• "Puzzled" made me literally LOL
• Wait, how does he get his kicks??? All he did was leer at and/or ogle her, and she somehow knows about his kicks? Is flicking your eyes and wetting your lips code for something now? Is he just really into squatting haunches?

Page 123~

Betty now knew, of course, that Paul was the young man with whom Jill had spent the time in bed. She assumed that he had enjoyed the experience very much and was there to stake his claim. She also knew that Jill was basictlly [sic] a man's girl. Betty had conflicting emotions.

Ah yes, who can forget the young man with whom one had spent the time in bed? The time in bed is indeed worthy of fond recollection by those by whom it was experienced. Sex is something we humans are determinedly enjoying and no I am not a "bot" what is a "bot"?

~RP

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Paperback 996: Playgirl For Hire / Sylvia Sharon (Domino Books 82-104)

Paperback 996: Domino Books 82-104 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Playgirl For Hire
Author: Sylvia Sharon (pseud. of Paul Little)
Cover artist: photo cover

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $25-30

Best things about this cover:

• "Put down that drink and let's go do some tumbling? Whaddya say?"
• I assume these ladies are supposed to be facsimiles of Playboy Bunnies (?) but aside from the liquor and the heels, and maybe the floor, this cover seems less "big-time vice" and more "back stage at the taping of a yoga class for public access TV."
• "Oh, Patti, I feel so enmeshed in big-time vice." "Those are just stockings, dearie."

Best things about this back cover:

• Ah, the old "daddy issues lead Kitty to sin city" narrative. Klassic.
• There's a haven for the bored and jaded? How do I get there?
• No models were harmed in the shooting of the cover photo

Page 123~

Kitty thought it curious that Pearl should suddenly gulp, turn very red, and squirm nervously about as she hastened to reply, "Oh, I do, Miss Wilson."

I wanted to cut that quote short at "gulp," but kept going in the interest of journalistic integrity.

~RP

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Paperback 994: Rainbow In My Bed / Rex Rainey (Brandon House 1019)

Paperback 994: Brandon House 1019 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Rainbow in My Bed
Author: Rex Rainey
Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 6.5/10
Estimated value: $25-30

[New addition to The Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• Since "rainbow" didn't have the queer implications then that it does now ... I have no idea what this means. Maybe that's her name?
• Design is unique, but terrible. Terribly unique. It conveys nothing. The shattered fragmentation of it all runs counter to the bland tourism-poster pictures and the childish R A I N B O W
• There is a ski in that middle-bottom triangle. Which is weird, as I can see the sunny seaside in the other picture, and also she does not appear to be dressed for skiing.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Nobody came to ski" — ah, yes, well, that explains the cover
• "Nobody came to ski" is one of the greatest, if not The greatest, sleaze taglines of all time. I intend to use it, suggestively, every chance I get.
• The skier looks like an anthropomorphic boar. Descending from the sky. On bolts of lightning.

Page 123~

This time it gave and came all the way out with a loud plonk.

~RP

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Paperback 949: Play the Sin Field / Drew Deskins (Spartan Line SL134)

Paperback 949: Spartan Line SL134 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Play the Sin Field
Author: Drew Deskins
Cover artist: presumably

Estimated value: No idea. Somehow, I have TWO copies of this, and yet there are NO copies at abebooks. :(
Condition: 8/10

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• Holy crap, I only *just* realized that this is supposed to be a pun on the phrase, "play the infield." Before, I thought a. wow, they just threw the word SIN in to a perfectly good phrase and ruined it, how stupid, and b. wow, SIN is a really truly terrible pun for "out."
• I love this woman. We should all be this confident. (i.e. confident enough to wear pasties that clash with our evening gloves).
• Wanton nymphos are the best kind of nymphos. Them prim nymphos ain't no fun at all.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ah, the Insane Phrase Bookend blurb. I should create a tag for these things. They are a truly great part of American literary history. I assure you Hemingway could never have come up with "SIN GUESTS"; not in his whole, adulturous life.
• P.S. "orgiastically"

Page 123~

"I want you to lay me right here and now," she said softly and he fell on her, his malehood jutting and pulsating, as he inched it within her eager body.

You'd think you'd be laughing too hard to properly masturbate to this stuff.

~RP

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Paperback 837: The Dream Master / Roger Zelazny (Ace 16701)

Paperback 837: Ace Books 16701 (PBO, 1966)

Title: The Dream Master
Author: Roger Zelazny
Cover artist: Kelly Freas

Estimated value: $5-10


Best things about this cover:

• Would make a good cover for "Gawain and the Green Knight," or "Gawain and the Floating Head with Three Eyes."
• I really should read Zelazny. My scifi knowledge is actually pretty poor. My new obsession with Leigh Brackett may change that, though.
• I like the play of light on the armor and plume. And the bold white line following "THE"—all nice design details.

Best things about this back cover:

• Uh … yellow?
• "to redirect and control"—that's a bold use of bold.
• RENDER THE SHAPER (15)

Page 123~

The enormous salad waited on the floor.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 708: Nightmare in Pink / John D. MacDonald (Gold Medal d1682)

Paperback 708: Gold Medal d1682 (3rd ptg, 1966)

Title: Nightmare in Pink
Author: John D. MacDonald
Cover artist: [Ron Lesser]

Yours for: $7 (yeah, I paid only $3, but ... inflation/postage — his books are being rereleased in $14 trade paperbacks ... why, WHY would you buy those when you can get beat-up '60s-era stuff, which is much cooler *and* much cheaper?)


Best things about this cover:

• Really hate the turn cover art took in the '60s—toward text/branding, away from full-page cover art—and I associate MacDonald's books most closely with that trend, to the extent that I almost blame MacDonald personally. Over the years, the girls get smaller, while the whole MacDonald/McGee Brand swells up and dominates. Probably smart marketing. But sucky from a purely aesthetic perspective. 
• I do like the way Pink suffuses every corner of this thing.
• Her hair is, frankly, terrible. 

Best things about this back cover:

• It's bad enough you've shrunk her and made her all modest on the front—this bland-and-white corner punishment is just degrading. Even John D's like "C'mon guys. Too far."
• OK, I haven't read a sexier phrase than "sweetly wanton career girl, living alone in a Manhattan walk-up" in a Long time.
• Not sure what is meant in this context by "Cafe Society," but I would like to join.
• "And introducing ... LSD!"

Page 123~

Terry Drummond rapped at my door and I let her in. She wore fifteen thousand dollars worth of glossy fur coat. Her brown simian face wrinkled with distaste as she looked around. "God, what a scrimey hole!" The coat swung open.

This is the kind of passage that makes me wonder why I have not read more MacDonald than I have. Love it.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 667: The Handle / Richard Stark (aka Donald Westlake) (Pocket Books 50220)

Paperback 667: Pocket Books 50220 (PBO, 1966)

Title: The Handle
Author: Richard Stark (Donald Westlake)
Cover artist: Harry Bennett

Yours for: Not For Sale [part of my "Parker PBO" collection]


Best things about this cover:

• The best thing about any Stark cover is the fact that "Stark" is on the cover.
• What a weird picture. It's like these people are standing on the deck of a listing boat, and there is a slight anomaly or disturbance off the port bough.
• Never been a big fan of Harry Bennett's work—bit too sloppy and unsexy for me. But James Garner's lookin' pretty good here, and she has a certain elegant something, and Flat Top Thompson over there has a nifty weaselyness about him. It's a motley assortment of folk, but interestingly rendered.
• I picked up this book and one other Stark PBO during my recent west coast excursion (the reason for this blog's two-week hiatus). I paid too much, but my steely collector's resolve melts in the presence of Stark. Stark is my kryptonite. I got these at Powell's Books in Portland, which is also my kryptonite. Just a magnificent bookstore. Kind of overwhelming, actually. If I were to leave there without a book, it would feel like a kind of failure. I've decided I need to own first editions of all the Parker novels. I currently own ... four, I think. Lots of work left to do (which is the whole Fun of collecting). 

Best things about this back cover:

• Not much here. 
• An odd and not-that-provocative raised quote. 
• I have not yet read this one. I am currently reading my way through the whole set of Parkers, in order. Finished Man with the Getaway Face on vacation; now part-way into The Outfit. Westlake is one of those writers who never lets me down. Clean, direct, smart, funny prose and dialogue. Effortless. I'm so glad he was so prolific, because it means I still have years of Westlakian good times ahead of me.

Page 123~

He had brought the bourbon bottle along and used it sparingly to rinse out his mouth when it became too dry, but he soon saw he wouldn't be able to survive too long without water. 

This makes me sad for the bourbon.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 665: Patterns of Sin / Dave Patrick (Saber Tropic 922)

Paperback 665: Saber Tropic 922 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Patterns of Sin
Author: Dave Patrick
Cover artist: Uncredited [Bill Edwards]

Yours for: $26


Best things about this cover:

• How is this book *not* titled "They Cloned Castro!"?
• I think her underwear is pretty. 
• Is it just me, or is it less fun to admire the half-naked lady when she's being gang-raped?

Best things about this back cover:

• Ouch. I have sleaze whiplash. Going from Cuban gang rape to brother/sister incest will do that to you.
• "May I?" Ha ha. So polite, and such proper grammar.
• "Since there were no degrees of sin in her mind..."—the implications of this are staggering. "Oh, well, I already stole a $5 from the till, so I may as well carjack that lady and start running people over."
• "Roddy." Again, HA ha.

Page 123~

"What's going on here?" he demanded, his eyes taking in the Major's body. 

Wow, this book is bound and determined to hit *all* the major "sins" (at least I assume this passage is a prelude to gay sex in the military). Too bad I don't do Page 144—it has a lengthy, clumsy, hilariously clinical description of lesbian 69. "... Estelle knew what the next step was to be, and she was reluctant to take it, until Gizelle's mouth reached its destination and moved on to her partner's thighs in a manner that said the act was to be a reciprocal, if it was performed." Mmm ... tell me less ...

~RP

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Paperback 653: Lady Wu / Lin Yutang (Dell 4621)

Paperback 653: Dell 4621 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: Lady Wu
Author: Lin Yutang
Cover artist: (Tom?) Miller

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Peach, it turns out, is not my favorite of book colors.
• I love the painting, actually. I like the variation on the common "keyhole" cover. Very much implicates the reader as a voyeur. She's even looking at you semi-accusatorily / seductively. Scene itself is a bit staid, but it's still cool. Just wish it were *bigger* (stupid '60s book designers and their insistence on TEXT over cover art)
• A Buddha statue is not enough for Lady Wu. She must also have live-action Buddha (who smokes?). Also, a male companion dressed like '80s Prince.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ugh. Text.
• NYMPHOMANIAC!
• Still, ugh. Text.

Page 123~

Unfortunately, the leaders of the rebellion were all scholars.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 645: Tarzan of the Apes / Edgar Rice Burroughs (Ballantine Books U2001)

Paperback 645: Ballantine U2001 (3rd ptg / 1st thus, 1966)

Title: Tarzan of the Apes
Author: Edgar Rice Burroughs
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Ron Ely ponders the bright vista of his career. 
• Ron Ely feels very good about Ron Ely's tree-climbing abilities. Ron Ely starting to believe this Tarzan thing may work out after all. Ron Ely is going to rub it in mom's face first chance he gets.
• Seriously, something is not right up in Ron Ely's brain.
• If this is Ron Ely's most Tarzanesque pose ... I mean, to whom are they selling this book? You could retitle this "Summer in the Woods" or "My First Time" or "Beefcake Palace" and you wouldn't have to change the picture one bit.
• Ron Ely is quite satisfied with Ron Ely's body. Ron Ely's workouts really paid off.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Uncut"—Yes, that could also be the title of a book with this cover.
• "Color television show"!? Wow. I think they prefer to be called "television shows of color." The '60s were so racist.

Page 123~

"Look at dem low down white trash out dere!" she shrilled, pointing toward the Arrow. "They-all's a desecratin' us, right yere on dis yere perverted islan'."

I think "Tarzan" actually came on right before "Dis Yere Perverted Islan'" ("... with Gilligan ... the Skipper too ...")

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 620: My Bare Lady / King Coral (Bee-Line 110)

Paperback 620: Bee-Line 110 (PBO, 1966)

Title: My Bare Lady
Author: King Coral
Cover artist: Uncredited

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)


Best things about this cover:

• Eliza Wear-Little! [pats self on back, whispers 'nailed it.']
• Lose the evil-octopus wig, put the pants *on*, ditch the belly-scratching doofus, and we're in business!
• Best word on this cover: "desert." 
• This cover looks like it's covered in a horrible white film. I know. I KNOW. Gross.
• King Coral! I loved her 1971 album, "Tapas Tree."

Best things about this back cover:

• One of the greatest taglines of all time.
• Ordinary women know nothing of Naked. Nothing! Why, it involves lotions, unguents, pulleys, dry ice, oxen ...
• Teacher of tricks! For my first trick ... Disappearing Dignity!

Page 123~

Light, tender, soft little caresses and moist warm kisses were bestowed and received by our bodys, with no force, and no searching.

Come for the passive voice, stay for the improper pluralization!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]