Title: Purless Sex Cat
Author: Jon Basell
Cover artist: Uncredited
Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $40-50
[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]
- I forced a bot to look at 1000 vintage sleaze paperback covers and then asked it to design a cover of its own. This is the result.
- What even is this? Any of this? It's like something from the Island of Dr. Moreau, but in book form. The colors? Terrible. The weird geometric shapes? Ridiculous. His torso looks like the face of drunk Homer Simpson. And then there's "Purless." Purless. Look, I don't know what happened here, but if this is Purless, then I say someone needs to Pur more. A lot more.
- The phrase is "sex kitten," you language-maiming Turing Test failure.
- Her ass is for "Adults Only," which seems totally reasonable, although I can't imagine why any non-deranged "minor" would want to buy this confusing trash heap.
- "From sex to limitless sex" is easily the greatest play on "from sea to shining sea" that ever was or will be.
- Dear lord, his cyan briefs will haunt my dreams for months.
- Well, they forgot to print the lead-in all-caps tagline, so there's that?
- This sentence has no beginning, no end, no purpose, no dignity, its erotic body never sated, demanding and loving rambling with commas and they too know from others that physical satisfaction is flitting from sex to sex in their ... RUTTING REVERIES
- Pink. I like the pink. Yes. It's pleasant. Like a nicely iced cupcake.
So I acted real helpless and weak while the skindiver helped me out of the water and on up the shore of the island. It was real comical the way his face got all red when he got a good look at how naked I was. Or maybe it was because he was naked, too.Well I know some whiskey would make me feel better after that linguistic atrocity so byeeee
"Th-thank you," I gasped, while he got even redder and said that his camp was a few feet away and maybe some whiskey would make us both feel better."
~RP
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
1 comment:
I got so hung up on "purless" that it took me forever to look at all the other things wrong with this cover. There's something about the shape of the guy's face that makes me think he's a Vulcan.
And that Page 123 quote is... something. Hardboiled PI as sex kitten or vice versa? Maybe a clue to the sort of thing the author wrote under his real name or more legitimate pseudonym.
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