Paperback 942: Q.B.I. / Ellery Queen (Pocket Books 1118)

Paperback 942: Pocket Books 1118 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: Q.B.I.
Author: Ellery Queen
Cover design: Milton Herder

Estimated value: $5-8
Condition: 5/10

Best things about this cover:

• It's like the F.B.I. but queer. I imagine.
• This cover wins awards for "Most Visible Thumbprint" and "Best Kempt Cilia"
• Where can I get one of these switchblade micro-monocles? Judging by this guy's pupil dilation, they seem fun.

Best things about this back cover:

• Type script is best.
• No Nouns Allowed Without Adjectival Guardian
• Kid Naping. That word *never* looks right to me.

Page 123~ (first line of "Dying Message Dept.: G. I. Story")

Ellery swung off the Atlantic State Express in his favorite small town disguised by earlaps, muffler, and skis, resolved that this time nothing should thwart his winter holiday.

You'll Never Guess What Happens Next! (spoiler: holiday thwarted)

~RP

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Paperback 868: Framed In Blood / Brett Halliday (Dell 578)

Paperback 868: Dell 578 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Framed in Blood
Author: Brett Halliday
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Estimated value: $10

Best things about this cover:

• "Mmm hmm, I'd like to frame *that* in blood … wait, that came out creepy."
• Sideboob. Someone call HuffPo.
• "Was it an accident she left the door open? … I mean, it's like she *wants* me to furtively masturbate in her living room or something."
• And when the fairy princess finished her Tai Chi, Mike knew he'd wasted his time.

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmmmapback!
• Mmmmmiami!
• Mmmmike Shayne!
• Mmmmmasturbation! (see cover)
• Oooh, Ned Brooks' apartment. That *is* interesting.

Page 123~

Shayne's sore face muscles rebelled at an attempt at a wry grimace.

In fact, most of Mike's muscles rebelled at the shit Mike tried to do. You see, Mike was an idiot, and...

~RP

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Paperback 821: Tiger Street / Trevor Elleston (Lion Books 207)

Paperback 821: Lion Books 207 (PBO, 1954)

Title: Tiger Street
Author: Elleston Trevor
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

• Richie: "Whaddya think of my left thigh, lady? See this tendon on my inner thigh, here? It's been gettin' a pretty good stretch in my yoga classes. This is kinda how I do Warrior 2. I got good form, don't ya think? And my sweater's pretty nifty too."
• Richie: "Jimmy, she ain't sayin' nothin.'" Jimmy: "Hey lady, he's showin' ya his yoga thighs. Tell him he looks nice. That's just common courtesy. Hey, you got a light? These matches don't work so good."
• She doesn't have "fear hand" so much as "backing away as far as I can hand."
• The original version of this painting just had the one trashcan, but then the art director was all, "Needs more trashcan." And thus the viewed-through-the-legs trashcan was born.
• Tiger Street! The Musical! "Walk up a staircase / Make out in a doorway / Pick fruit from a trashcan / Show off your firm thighs … Tiger Street!"
• Love the background. Street design is pretty stylized, but still has tons of nice detail. I especially like the awnings and fire escapes.
• This cover features ten people. Find them all. Go!

Best things about this back cover:

• This was their HOUR of HELL!—that one time they interrupted "Real Housewives" for some stupid Presidential Address. Worst Hour Ever!!!
• Sorry, no, I am not buying that a human being has the name of "Vosper." Maybe he's literally an "animal," 'cause I might buy "Vosper" as a pet's name. Maybe.
• First there were dark rumblings, then there were quiet rumblings. What other kinds of rumblings might this novel contain!? Start reading at once, before you stop caring.

Page 123~

"Quietly, mate—push the door to—you saw the blood, yes, where?"
"Over there by—"
"All right, stay there will you … yes, I see, and this in the crack, too, eh? What else, Cliff?"

First, this guy's super-bossy. Second, there's something painfully anticlimactic about "Cliff."

~RP

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Paperback 570: The Big Bite / Charles Williams (Dell First Edition A114)

Paperback 570: Dell First Edition A114 (PBO, 1956)

Title: The Big Bite
Author: Charles Williams
Cover artist: Arthur Sussman

Yours for: $30


Best things about this cover:

• If, god forbid, I ever get taken hostage, please let it look like this.
• I love this so much. Sexy, menacing, and depraved. Manages to combine realism, abstraction, and surrealism into one hot, delicious tableau. The orange background is inspired. That bed frame is like something out of a Tim Burton film.
• The small details make this painting exquisite—her: the haughty eyebrows, the cocky hand-on-hip, the neglected negligee strap, the ambiguously hovering cigarette hand (Will she offer him a drag? Burn his thigh? Who knows!?). Him: the resigned backward tilt of his head, the perfectly framed limp hand, the perfect-electric-white shirt. This is hall-of-fame cover art, for sure. 

Best things about this back cover:

• MWAH!
• That "life's a jungle" paragraph is about as good an expression of noir philosophy as I've read since the Flitcraft story in "The Maltese Falcon."
• Charles Williams was a paperback hero. Well admired by crime fiction aficionados, long forgotten by most others.

Page 123~

She said nothing. I went on out and got in the car. On the way out of town I stopped at a small grocery and bought a dozen cans of beer and some more supplies for the kitchen. I picked up a roll of the plastic film they use to wrap things in a refrigerator with, and two rolls of scotch tape. I bought fifty pounds of ice, wrapped it in an old blanket, and shoved off for the lake. 

I love the "How-the-fuck-am I-supposed-to-know-what-Saran-wrap-is-called!?" attitude of this paragraph.

~RP

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