Paperback 548: Superstud / Alan Marshall (Nightstand Books 1847)

Paperback 548: Nightstand Books 1847 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Superstud
Author: Alan Marshall
Cover artist: Someone who can't believe his idea got past house censors

Yours for: $25

Best things about this cover:

• Wow. Just try out-sideboobing this cover. You Can't Do It.
• "Yes, that's my right tit, complete with nipple. No, you're not dreaming. Pretty good, right?"
• The boob is to distract from the hair, which looks great from the brow down, but get up any higher and it's a nightmare of random scalp attachment (and non-attachment). There's a reason they wrote "SUPER-STUD" over the top of that mess.
• Maybe if the hair is red, you might try a different color for the font next time. This book looks like it's titled "R-"

Best things about this back cover:

• Reading the first two sentences makes me think Brett isn't that studly from the neck up.
• Call me old-fashioned, but I like my superstuds to be nailing quivering, creamy-fleshed ladies, not killing cops. What a massive waste of studliness.
• Also, "Brett?" As a superstud name? Vetoed. 

Page 123~

He reached down and pulled her up. He didn't want to finish this way, not this time. He had better things in mind for the bitch with the fantastic boobs. 

Now *that's* a superhero name. Give that bitch a cape!

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 425: Seeds of Sin / Louis Lorraine (Nightstand Books 1560)

Paperback 425: Nightstand Books 1560 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Seeds of Sin

Author: Louis Lorraine

Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $12

Best things about this cover:

• Sex Survey—Q: Where's your favorite place to make whoopee? A: On the train tracks.
• "... and then her left forearm exploded in a blaze of passion!"
• The Seeds of Sin lead to ... the Dandelion of Death!
• "The floodlights revealed Steve's secret shame: his girlfriend was a Macy's store mannequin!"

Best things about this back cover:

• So that bright light on the front cover must be Mark's "flame-haired wife Liz." Cool superpower.
• "A bevy of women who apparently did not care what they looked or sounded like..." Jeez, what are they doing, rolling around and snorting during the survey? "She's got a weird lisp and spinach in her teeth ... but as long as she's talking dirty ..."
• Another one of these tone-deaf back covers, where the copywriter doesn't understand how English works, where emphasis goes, what sexy is, etc. "... 'Fling At Passion!' It is a sexy phrase, no?" "No. If anything, it evokes orangutans flinging their feces."

Page 123~

He showed Arthur a chart. "This is the chart on sexual satisfaction. Rather an eye-opener, isn't it?"

"Pretty poor performance on their husband's parts, I'd say." Arthur studied it critically, with professional interest.

1. I assume "with professional interest" means "with his hand not [yet] on his cock."

2. "Pretty poor performance on their husband's parts" can be interpreted at least two ways.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Donations to the Collection: Lust Lodge

Title: Lust Lodge (Nightstand Books NB1621, 1962)
Author: Don Holliday
Cover artist: that guy who did so many of their covers ... whatsisname!

Happy Halloween! You're welcome.

• The Hand!! "Nice to meet you Mrs. ... I ... uh ..."
• X marks the spot, dang!
• Did they even plan to draw a guy into this shot originally? His sliver of head and Random Hand look like total (awesome) afterthoughts.
• I like her underwears. I choose to ignore the fact that she has Ronald McDonald hair.

• Yet another classic from the Absurd Two-Word Intro .../... Outro school of back cover writing.
• To say this is bad writing is really to give bad writing a worse name than it already has.
• Three "wantons" (counting front and back)! Plural, adjectival, possessive. That's gotta be a record.

Page 123~ (brace yourselves ...)

"Don't be melodramatic," she said, blowing smoke once more. It hung in a grey cloud above her, as though prognosticating a storm at the cloud. How symbolic I've become, Beverly thought, looking at the cloud.

As though doing a what at the where now?

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]