Paperback 1102: Her Cheating Heart / Lloyd Kevin (Monarch Books 286)

Paperback 1102: Monarch 286 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Her Cheating Heart

Author: Lloyd Kevin

Cover artist: Tom Miller

Condition: 7/10

Value: $15

[The Book Den, Santa Barbara, CA]

Best things about this cover: 

• "C'mon, Joy, we've been over this—quit flashing the neighbors and make me some eggs or something, jeez..."
• Ah yes, her heart. Her cheating heart. This is an incredible painting of her heart. I could look at her heart all day.
• This is actually a great cover—very hard to draw this specific action (woman pulling nightgown over her head) in a way that looks natural, where everything stays proportionate and relative sexiness is maintained.
• Love the perpendicular contrast here: her action to his inaction, her ardor to his ennui. Sadly, those curtains are really killing the vibe. I can practically feel their rough, thick fabric and smell their cigarette mustiness. Between the curtains, the walls, the bedding, and his trousers/pajamas, I feel like I'm drowning in shades of drab. She looks great, the trailer park looks great, everything else looks like despair.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Oh cool, it's a Choose Your Own Adventure book!
• Trigg Melnor ... I'm dying. I can't breathe. Trigg... Melnor... Trigg Melnor, ladies and gentlemen. Trigg fucking Melnor. A man's man's man's man's name if there ever was one. What would I do? No, what would Trigg Melnor do? That is the question. That is the only question I will entertain in my life from now on. WWTMD, baby!
• I sorta like this red silhouette, although it takes her from sexy dame to blobby abstraction. Pretty recognizable human silhouette from the waistline down, but above that ... I dunno. Kinda looks like some form of animal life is getting involved. Like there's a koala maybe climbing up the right side, and a small dog (in profile) keeping lookout on the left. 

Page 123~

    Trigg tried a new approach. "Lu's old Chevvy—was it here last night?"

    The woman looked puzzled. "Ol shevi?"

    "Lu's car." He made steering-wheel motions.

Make steering-wheel motions—that's what Trigg Melnor did. And he was darned good at it, too.

~RP

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Paperback 1011: She Wouldn't Surrender / James Kendricks (Monarch MA301)

Paperback 1011: Monarch MA301 (PBO, 1960)

Title: She Wouldn't Surrender
Author: James Kendricks
Cover artist: [Robert Maguire] (attribution from here) (and here)

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $20-25

Best things about this cover:

• Wow, this really ticks all the boxes: naked redhead with a gun, painted by Robert Maguire, posing as "Americana," on one of the greatest mainstream sleaze imprints of the 20th century. Monarch Books got some of the greatest cover artists to work for them, and I love how they had all these subseries designed to give their softcore books a patina of respectabilty. Who could quibble with your passion for "Americana"!? Communists, that's who.
• "Whoa, a *real* redhead! Wait'll I tell Wilb-" [gets shot in the neck]
• My favorite part of this cover is weirdly her hat

Best things about this back cover:

• Hmmm. It sounds like she *would* surrender, sometimes.
• Sure, your girl has charms, but do they pulsate? Do They!?
• OK, "Only the dead were incapable of remembering her" is kind of a good line
• 🎶Wanton eyes! They're watching you! They see your Union boots...🎶

Page 123~

[nah, I don't like this page—it's all gruesome war stuff: horses being maimed and what not ... I much much prefer the teaser text on the opening page, headlined NAKED ENCOUNTER]

The soldier whirled. His eyes bulged at the sight of the naked girl, her magnificent breasts jouncing as she stopped abruptly to stare back at him wantonly [...] Too late he saw the weapon in her hand. Too long he had stared at the undulating breasts, the quivering eyes, the tantalizing smile...

JOUNCING! Part jiggling, part bouncing, all *deadly*!

~RP

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Paperback 798: Circle of Fear / Alice Brennan (Monarch Books 476)

Paperback 798: Monarch Books 476 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Circle of Fear ("A Monarch Juvenile Novel")
Author: Alice Brennan
Cover artist: Lou Marchetti

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• "Inside the Sordid World of Valet Parking!"
• Chivalry's hard. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to defend a girl and ended up shoving her into the path of an oncoming car.
• "They learned that asking questions is always a terrible idea so just shut up, listen to your parents, and accept the world as it is, kids."

Best things about this back cover:

• "Step aside, Susan. I got this." [screeeeeeeeech]
• Wow. This is less "exposition" and more "randomized list of ingredients."
• Wow, that last line really … tells you the dictionary definition of fear. Yes it does. Informative stuff.

Page 123~

She gave him a misty smile. "You could've been killed," she told him. "Stan, I want you to promise me you'll never get involved in something like that again!"

"Oh, Mom," he said impatiently, "who's going to miss a little chunk of ear?"

~RP

PS sorry for the long hiatus. I'll try to cram a lot of Sensation in your face this week, before heading out again next weekend (though just for a week this time).

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 795: Blood-and-Guts Patton / Jack Pearl (Monarch MA305)

Paperback 795: Monarch Books MA305 (Monarch Americana Series) (PBO, 1961)

Title: Blood-and-Guts Patton
Author: Jack Pearl
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Font makes blood-and-guts seem like kooky fun!
• Love this photo cover for how anti-celebrity it is. You can't even see his face. "Take your fucking picture. I got Nazis to kill and a cigarette to finish."
• "Swashbuckling"?! Unless he puts on an eyepatch, pulls out a cutlass, and boards a clipper, no.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Eat their entrails, you pussies! Aarrrrrrrgh!"
• I like that Monarch apparently had a "Hell on Wheels" series with a little weather-danger symbol.
• Kicking!? While the rest of the world was merely punching and flogging. Genius.

Page 123~

"Hell, I'd feel as uncomfortable without this pistol as I would without pants."

Patton then pulled a knife and smiled. "Suckers … I hate pants. Now I eat your entrails!"

~RP

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Paperback 515: The Sexually Promiscuous Female / Benjamin Morse, M.D. (Monarch MB 535)

Paperback 515: Monarch Books MB 535 (PBO, 1963)

Title: The Sexually Promiscuous Female
Author: Dr. Benjamin Morse, M.D.
Cover artist: Photo cover

Yours for: Not for Sale (gift to the collection from Doug Peterson)


Best things about this cover:

• I don't know who this woman is, but ... we would like to announce that we are in love.
• Sorry, Dr. Morse, your "alarming" report is not quelling my desire to go on a cross-country crime jag with Tina here.
• Love the uneven lettering! This is what happens when you shout "PROMISCUOUS" as you leap from a moving train, which you have robbed because you are on a cross-country crime jag with Tina.
• Sexy sunglasses. Gorgeous gams. Casual footwear. All the trademarks of the modern-day whore.
• She'd be in her late-70s today. So if I'm gonna find her, I better act quick.
• Dr. Morse is (according to the title page) also author of "The Lesbian," which I believe had the famous subtitle: "Or So I Imagine"

Best things about this back cover:

• "Frigidity"?! Oh, come ON!
• "Penetrating"!? Really? Phrasing!
• I love how this book's all "beware this trend" when no one, and I mean no one, buying this book is going to see "The Promiscuous Female" as a problem. More like "... and I can find her ... where? You know, to, er, talk her out of her, uh ... lifestyle. Yeah. That's what I'll do. So what's her number?"

Page 123~

A period of unpaid promiscuity, with all its attendant minor heartbreaks, soon conditions the girl to the point where she wants to strike back at the men who have taken advantage of her.

So ... like a promiscuity internship? Nice. Where does one get ... those?

~RP

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Paperback 486: Falcons of France / Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall (Monarch 141)

Paperback 486: Monarch Books 141 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: Falcons of France
Author: Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $8

Best things about this cover:

• Is this guy going to shoot down the enemy plane or make love to it? Dude is primping. He just needs a bottle of Courvoisier: "Ma chérie, you are about to feel my love guns ..."
• Some of Target's early marketing campaigns were more successful than others.

Best things about this back cover:

• Fokkers!
• Spads!
• Atlantic Bookshelf writes the kind of criticism that sounds profound but is actually completely empty. "Living and consequently better?" "Better ..." than? Than what!? Fokkers!

Page 123~

"Who's Papa Gouraud going to kiss?"

"Oh, quite a lot of you. Here's the list; you can read it for yourselves."

I don't even want to know.

~RP

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Paperback 438: The Anatomy of Adultery / Gary Gordon (Monarch 448)

Paperback 438: Monarch 448 (PBO, 1964)

Title: The Anatomy of Adultery
Author: Gary Gordon
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Mmm, sexy. Sexy sexy pen set.
• "Searching probe"
• Nothing says "illicit sex" like faux-wood veneer.
• When a dirty ashtray is, by far, the most interesting thing on your cover, then your cover is not good.

Best things about this back cover:

• The title is "Anatomy of Adultery," and yet the covers feature neither anatomy nor adultery. Rip-off!
  
• First paragraph is confusing. Why are people committing adultery with vagrants?
• "Up to and including murder" = "including murder"; what's this "up to" stuff? Was copywriter on a strict word count?

Page 123~

[Britain's] history, from murderous Queen Elfreda of the Saxons, through Henry VIII, Pepys, Frank Harris, and W.T. Stead's sensational Maiden Tribute of Modern Babylon, gives solid evidence that this supposedly reserved nation better deserves the title "world's sexiest race" than do the French.

I'm not sure this is convincing, though, to be fair, murderousness and beheadings *are* pretty sexy ...

~RP

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Paperback 370: The Law and the Marriage Bed / Gary Gordon (Monarch 472)

Paperback 370: Monarch 472 (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Law and the Marriage Bed
Author: Gary Gordon
Cover artist: photo

Yours for: $12


Best things about this cover:

• "A probing analysis!" — "Probing ... not with *that* thing, you're not! I mean, a little legal fetish is one thing—I'll wear the black robe and shout "All rise"—but the gavel is right out!"
• Her hair is ridiculous.
• His is not much better.
• "Case histories" = (very) softcore porn.
• It takes a special kind of literalist to come up with the "gavel + bouquet on pillow" motif for this book.

Best things about this back cover:

• Whoa, whoa. You think you could ease me into the rape talk!? Who leads with that question!? Yeesh.
• Hey look, it's the same ugly photo as on the cover. The production budget for this book must have been about $12.

Page 123~

The case of Rex v. Rex (39 Ohio App. 295, 177 N.E. 527) sets forth the principle that for coitus between separated husband and wife to be condonation [of previous adultery], it must be voluntary and not induced by fear, intimidation or secured by trickery.

I would read the novelization of this ruling: "Rex v. Rex" — c'mon, that's a great title.

~RP

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Paperback 234: Diagnosis: Love / Barbara Bonham (Monarch 466)

Paperback 234: Monarch 466 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Diagnosis: Love
Author: Barbara Bonham
Cover artist: Lou Marchetti

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• The long awaited prequel to "Diagnosis: Murder"
• Whatever was going on in "their private lives," it apparently involved massive amounts of nitrous oxide
• "Take off that clown make-up. This is a hospital, not a whorehouse!" / "Oh fuck you, Steve. Perform the appendectomy yourself. I'm going outside to smoke ... and maybe talk to Larry. That's right, I said 'Larry.' Asshole."

Best things about this back cover:

• "Garnet?"
• "Chad!" - that's more like it.
• " ... a strange malady ..." - later diagnosed as "hot pants"

Page 123 (last page!)~

He took the thermometer from her and glanced at it quickly. "Normal. No germs here. It would be perfectly safe to kiss you." He pulled her up into his arms.

I really hope that thermometer was in her mouth.

~RP

Paperback 151: The Day the Machines Stopped / Christopher Anvil (Monarch Books 478)

Paperback 151: Monarch Books 478 (PBO, 1964)

Title: The Day the Machines Stopped
Author: Christopher Anvil
Cover artist: Ralph Brillhart

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Rockets explode! Planes disintegrate into patterns roughly resembling autumn leaves! And ... Wes and Earl have engine trouble.

Wes: "Gee, Earl, I'm stumped."
Earl, wagging finger at car: "Bad car! Bad, naughty car! Oh, why did I buy a used taxi!?"

• If "Nature Reversed Its Laws," shouldn't Wes and Earl and everything else be flying up into space? Either that, or Wes and Earl should be making out.

Best things about this back cover:

• It's all very amusing, but that third paragraph ... it's a little too close-to-home, frankly. All sounds eerily relevant / plausible.
• I hate it when people malign the Dark Ages - they were perfectly serviceable Ages.

Page 123~

"Excuse me a minute." Brian's fists tingled. He was thinking of the last crack on the head, of all the insults and underhanded blows he'd experienced from Carl.

~RP

Paperback 131: This Violent Land / William H. Jacobs (Monarch Books 163)

Paperback 131: Monarch Books 163 (1st ptg, 1960)

Title: This Violent Land
Author: William H. Jacobs
Cover artist: again, uncredited

Yours for: $9

Best things about this cover:

• "Stop right there, Henry Fonda! Now ... give me my scarf back, nice and easy."
• "Raw" and "earthy" means people are doin' it.
• Now that I look at her hands more closely, I'm not convinced she aims to fire it. She's sort of ... stroking the ... underside of the ... shaft? "Oh, is this big thing yours?"
• She is undeniably hot. I mean - fantastic. Everything a rifle-toting cover girl should be. I have a Girls with Guns collection, so I ask you, how was I supposed to not buy this book?

Best things about this back cover:

• OMG the names of these people! Genius!
• "'Joanna' doesn't sound ... I don't know, exotic enough." "How about ... Zoanna, sir?" "Brilliant!"
• I love a good Malabar every now and then. "Hard-bitten?" When I get through with them, yes.
• "Earthy" again! Unless they literally smear soil on themselves, I'm going to be very disappointed in this book.

Page 123~

He saw again the woman with the scarred face, her white legs parting, the black devil's cup beckoning. "Make me a woman! Make me a woman!" Soft, warm, melting. He was on the road to hellfire.

"Black devil's cup?!" That's a new one to me.

Earthy!

~RP

Paperback 65: Wild to Possess / Gil Brewer (Monarch Books 364)

Paperback 65: Monarch Books 364 (2nd ptg, 1963)

Title: Wild to Possess
Author: Gil Brewer
Cover artist: Robert Maguire

Yours for: $35 (SOLD - 4/18/08)


Best things about this cover:

• I have nothing snarky to say - this cover is one of my favorites. This was one of the first books I was lucky enough to come across when I was just starting my collection. Gil Brewer is a very decent crime fiction writer, and Monarch Books is one of the best of the lurid, sex-oriented paperback publishers of the late 50s and 60s. This cover is Gorgeous. A naked redhead with a gun? And it's pointed at me? Dreamy. It's the third Robert Maguire painting I've featured, and possibly the best one yet. Check out the others (see label in the "Labels" for this entry). Doing this blog has given me a renewed appreciation for his mastery of this form. It's remarkably spare and simple, but quite beautiful and evocative - from the look in her eyes to the drape of the striped curtain to the fade-to-white right border. Stunning.
• OK, I'll say one snarky thing: it looks as if she is emerging from a circus tent.
• Oh, I almost forgot - I Love the literary pretension of this title. In case you didn't catch the reference, I hereby present, for your delectation and edification, Sir Thomas Wyatt's "Whoso List to Hunt"

HOSO list to hunt ? I know where is an
hind !
But as for me, alas ! I may no more,
The vain travail hath wearied me so sore ;
I am of them that furthest come behind.
Yet may I by no means my wearied mind
Draw from the deer ; but as she fleeth afore
Fainting I follow ; I leave off therefore,
Since in a net I seek to hold the wind.
Who list her hunt, I put him out of doubt
As well as I, may spend his time in vain !
And graven with diamonds in letters plain,
There is written her fair neck round about ;
' Noli me tangere ; for Cæsar's I am,
And wild for to hold, though I seem tame.'

Best things about this back cover:

• I have always been partial to redheads named FLO
• "Kidnaper" is a horrible-looking word. It looks as if it describes someone who goes around grabbing kids by the napes of their necks.
• "Aroused females on his hands"
• "AMORAL" is a word that my two passions have in common - the paperbacks I collect often tout the AMORAL behavior of their characters, while crosswords simply feature the word AMORAL a whole lot.