Paperbacks 1115 & 1116: The Ivory Grin & The Way Some People Die (Bantam 10979 & 10987)

Paperbacks 1115 & 1116: Bantam 10979 & 10987) (6th ptg, 1977 / 8th ptg, 1977)

Titles: The Ivory Grin & The Way Some People Die

Author: Ross Macdonald

Cover artist: Mitchell Hooks

Condition: 8/10 & 8/10

Value: $5-10 each

Best things about this cover: 

• I said last time that I had one more of these late'70s Archer covers by Mitchell Hooks, but it seems I lied: I had two, bringing my total to five. I guess I collect these now? Subcollection! Just what I need...
• Well yeah, sure, grins don't get much more ivory than that. 
• The dude loading the gun looks like a very disappointed middle manager. "We didn't make our quota this quarter, team. I told you there'd be consequences..."
• I'm super into that cat burglar guy but he's about a centimeter in height, and it's hard to truly love a design element that small. 
• The tealish hue coating every element of this painting is kinda sickly, but somehow when set against the equally sickly pale yellow background, it ends up ... perfect?

Best things about this 2nd cover: 

• Maybe my least favorite of these Archer covers so far. Still good, but the people look like they're carved out of wood. Looks a little sloppy, a little lifeless. But the neon signs and palm trees and dead guy are ... mwah!
• Her hair is insane. I can only hope that it's a wig. Her posture and expression are priceless, though: "Sigh, bikinis are so tiresome ... when do we drink?"
• Does the dead guy have a toupee that's come loose, or did he flatten a small bird with his head when he fell?

No point doing back covers, since they're just that same shadowy photo of Macdonald from the last book. So on to ...

Page 123~ (from The Way Some People Die)

    "The dirty bastard picked up and left me," she said in a deep harsh voice. Her eyes were round with anger, or surprise at her own language. "Good heavens," she said in her normal voice, "I never swear, honestly."

    "Swear some more. It will probably do you good."

~RP

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Paperback 836: The Jungle Seas / Arthur A. Ageton (Signet S1200)

Paperback 836: Signet Giant S1200 (1st ptg, 1955)

Title: The Jungle Seas
Author: Arthur A. Ageton
Cover artist: James Meese

Estimated value: $5-10


Best things about this cover:

• "I think that's … yeah, that's just a freckle, Kathy. You're gonna be fine."
• Navy Vampires of Tonga!
• He likes it when you scratch him here. *Really* likes it.
• James Meese wants you to know that he can sure as hell paint hands. All hands, all day, mother*ckers!

Best things about this back cover:

• Dude's like, "Squirrel!?"
• "… a book to join THE CAINE MUTINY … on that shelf of books I haven't read."
• "full-bodied" [wink!]

Page 123~

"Yes, sir. Was I groaning?"
"Were you groaning? Boy, you let out a scream that scared me right out of a sound sleep. Who's Rogers?"

"Uh … Rogers? … uh … he's this guy … you know … definitely not a former lover, if that's what you're thinking … oh, no wait. I mean 'Ginger'! 'Ginger Rogers!' Forget that other stuff I said. Ginger Rogers. Guys scream for her, right? Right. Ginger."

~RP

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Paperback 528: Palm Beach Apartment / Gail Jordan (Pyramid 15)

Paperback 528: Pyramid 15 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: Palm Beach Apartment
Author: Gail Jordan
Cover artist: George Geygan

Yours for: $14

Best things about this cover:

• "Let's see ... I just need to get a closer look, and ... yep, that's an Adam's apple. Dang."
• Larry's bra-removing technique was so awkward and laborious and Gayle fell asleep before he was done.
• I honestly can't conceive of the context that would justify this particular arrangement of bodies. He's not dipping her, or lifting her, and yet she appears somewhat suspended. It's *possible* he's laying her down on the ... ground? Beach? Maybe their "love nest" is an actual nest. "They lived and loved like plovers!" That would "set the whole town talking," I imagine.

Best things about this back cover:

• "His ward," ha ha. She's Robin to his Batman.
• "'Hands off' Hester" is kind of a great nickname.
• I love the way the quotation marks alert us to these new-fangled expressions like "hands off" and "nice people."
• OK, now I understand the front cover. That's just Sam awakening to Hester's ripe womanhood. He's sniffing her to confirm that she's ripe.

Page 123~

    Hendy said sharply, "You told him?"
    Hester's eyes were wide. "Of course" she answered as though she thought the question too silly to merit a response.

Hendy & Hester! Coming this fall to NBC ("We've got a few holes to fill in our lineup").

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

PS CBS did a piece on me last weekend (about my crossword blog)—there's lots of shots of my home office, where The Paperbacks live ... see the piece here.

Paperback 521: The Man With the Golden Gun / Ian Fleming (Signet P2735)

Paperback 521: Signet P2735 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: The Man with the Golden Gun
Author: Ian Fleming
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• James Bond subdues the 50-Foot Woman ... with sexy results.
• Damn the '60s, with their "words" crowding out all the luscious artistry. I can't believe the great Barye Phillips' work has been reduced (literally and metaphorically) to this. It's like his art is being chewed by the bloody fangs of the words, while also being attacked by a golden word-buzzsaw.
• Her ass is so hot it's literally steaming.

Best things about this back cover:

• NOTHING!
• Ah, "bordello," you seldom-used, beautiful word.
• "Aided by his sex-galore confederate" is a brilliant phrase, I'll give the copy writer that.

Page 123~

Amused by his thoughts, Bond's right hand came out of his pocket and lit a cigarette for him, quietly and obediently. It had stopped going off chasing rabbits on its own.

I'm kind of stuck on how a "hand" gets "amused."

~RP

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