Paperback 978: Pemmican / Vardis Fisher (Cardinal C-253)

Paperback 978: Cardinal C-253 (1st ptg, 1957)

Title: Pemmican
Author: Vardis Fisher
Cover artist: Daniel Schwartz

Estimated value: $7-10
Condition: 7/10

[from the Laura R. Braunstein Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• The only thing scarier than her fright makeup is her linebacker hands. Look at those meat claws, dear god!
• Why would you kneel in the river like that? Serious question.
• Her mouth! We get it, she's "savage," dial it back.
• I do like the way the light shines off her hip.
• Chief Wahoo on Cleveland Indians uniforms. Dakota Access Pipeline. This dehumanizing shit must be exhausting.

Best things about this back cover:

• Ah, the "savage white girl" trope. See Natalie Wood in "The Searchers."
• I wish this were titled "A Virile Young Scotsman, or, The Debauchery"
• Rawboned! The bones of this book have not seen fire! Like sushi, are these bones!

Page 123~

"Coming!" he whispered.

He whispered with an exclamation point? Wow. Graphic.

~RP

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Paperback 898: Seminole / Theodore Pratt (Gold Medal 635)

Paperback 898: Gold Medal 635 (2nd ptg, 1957)

Title: Seminole
Author: Theodore Pratt
Cover artist: Jack Floherty [signature]

Estimated value: $7-10

Best things about this cover:

• Full frontal is cool if a. the woman is "native" or otherwise of color and b. you airbrush the nipple into virtual nothingness.
• Nothing says "sexy" like a slave auction! Seriously, this cover is infinitely gross.
• Mr. Top Hat Akimbo in the background knows it's gross. He and his bow tie are having none of it.
• If you're wondering whom the auctioneer is pointing at, just wait ...

Best things about this back cover:

• Wraparound!
• Sky looks even more insane back here. It's like Captain Cogitation there is summoning storm clouds with his mind. And his pointing pal is saying "Oooh, that one looks like a bunny."
• This painting is much, much better with the native slave auction cropped out of it.
• Just watched "Key Largo" and I'm pretty sure those two Native Americans that killed are called "The Osceola  Brothers." This Osceola was a leader of the Seminole resistance during the Second Seminole War.
• At least this novel seems to know what the white man is a "marauder."

Page 123~

Indians lay in water with lily pads over their faces to hide from the white soldiers. Seminole children were buried in pits to their heads, which were covered over with palmetto to conceal them.

~RP

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Paperback 842: The Captive Women / Walter D. Edmonds (Bantam 708)

Paperback 842: Bantam 708 (3rd ptg, 1950)

Title: The Captive Women
Author: Walter D. Edmonds
Cover artist: Denver Gillen

Estimated Value: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Something about "Squat-o" there gives the whole cover a wacky feel. Like this is going to be some kind of domestic comedy. I'm pretty sure he's saying "What is it with dames these days, Fred!?"
• Fred is nodding knowingly. "I know, man. My captive woman keeps maxing out my credit card. I'm like, 'Damn, babe, how many damn pairs of moccasins do you need?'"
• What is Fred gripping? Is it a gun? If so, follow-up: how long were guns back then?

Best things about this back cover:

• $8.64 with tax.
• This is called "The Captive Women" because "Delia's Gone" was taken.
• Does the relative handsomeness of the "buck" mitigate the slavery somehow? I would've guessed 'no.'

Page 123~

While they slept the woman and the girl went through their packs, exclaiming at the worn out moccasins and the mending to be done and showing each other the best pelts.

Fred was right, man. These broads are crazy for moccasins.

~RP

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Paperback 794: Buffalo Bill / Shannon Garst (Pocket Book Jr. J-48)

Paperback 794: Pocket Books Jr. J-48 (2nd ptg, 1955)

Title: Buffalo Bill
Author: Shannon Garst
Cover artist (and illus.): Louis Glanzman

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Bed hat.
• Three keys to killing Indians: big-ass hands, mustache wax, and fringe for miles.
• This is a pretty bad cover—a portrait-studio picture mapped onto a generic, over-bright backdrop filled with a montage of tiny, generic "action" scenes.

Best things about this back cover:

• Thanks for the buffalo-killing, dick weed.
• William F. Cody met danger early. Then he had lunch, took a nap, and went to Pilates.
• I like Yellow Hand because it sounds like a 19c. name for a nefarious Chinese criminal organization, rather than what it is—a mistranslation of Yellow Hair, a Cheyenne warrior Cody shot and scalped. "Ever the showman, Buffalo Bill returned to the stage […] his show highlighted by a melodramatic reenactment of his duel with Yellow Hair. He displayed the fallen warrior's scalp, feather war bonnet, knife, saddle and other personal effects" (wikipedia). Again, I say, dick-weed.

Page 123~

The redskins knew the country and were as hard to hunt down as the wild animals of the forest.

Everything you need to know about American attitudes toward Native Americans in one short sentence. (cc Dan Snyder)

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 747: The Strange Brigade / John Jennings (Cardinal C-137)

Paperback 747: Cardinal C-137 (1st ptg, 1954)

Title: The Strange Brigade
Author: John Jennings
Cover artist: Rudy Nappi

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• If 'love' wasn't just a word, what else was it??! A deed? Are you talking about sex? You are, aren't you. 
• Speaking of sex, this book is at least in part about trappers, i.e. beaver.
• "Hey … hey baby … hey … I like your ears …" Ugh, I can practically feel his grog breath on my shoulder.
• Steve did not take well to losing the "Who Wore It Best?" competition to Lionel. Even the awkward consolations of a concerned squaw could not alleviate Steve's fist-clenching fury.

Best things about this back cover:

• Mmm, I love bois brûlés. My favorite dessert. Always puts me in the mood for bone-cracking / love-making.
• I do love a woman who acts "quite otherwise." 
• "Sinister half-breed"—I would think that in vintage paperback-speak, that would be redundant.

Page 123~

Here were abundant varieties of smaller game: hares and rabbits, chattering squirrels, the white partridge, and spruce grouse, foxes, beaver, martins, musquash, otter and a dozen others. 

This is a really weird list, not so much for what's on it, but for how it's set up. Why do the squirrels get a behavioral detail? Why is there a "the" with the white partridge? Why do we start a new list with a new "and" just before spruce grouse? Why do you list so many and then say "a dozen others?" Why not keep going? You're half way there, for god's sake. Also, "a dozen"? That's a pretty specific number. Are you sure it wasn't a baker's dozen? 10? This is what happens when you think too much about a random filler sentence in a middling historical novel from 60 years ago.

[Alternative comment: "Musquash Susie / Musquash Sam / Do the jitterbug out in Musquash Land …"]

~RP

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Paperback 599: Wild Drums Beat / F. Van Wyck Mason (Pocket Books 977)

Paperback 599: Pocket Books 977 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: Wild Drums Beat
Author: F. Van Wyck Mason
Cover artist: Richard Cardiff

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• "Uh ... he was like this when I found him."
• "Shhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting wabbits..."
• Real men make snow angels "Indian-style."
• Margery made the rather large mistake of trying to ride the Black Horse of Death sidesaddle. 

Best things about this back cover:

• "Renegade trapper" would look great on a business card.
• Random trivia: Googling ["scalp-hungry"] returns 4100+ hits. So ... it's an adjective with a life beyond this cover.
• Remember when men's courage and women's love could solve world problems? And now look at us. Lousy Obama.

Pag 123~

He nodded, mimicked the shadow of his head wrought black and distorted upon the lean-to's roof.

Grammatically, I'm not really sure what to do with this (how do you mimic a shadow that you yourself are creating?), but I do love a good lean-to reference.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker at Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 349: Oh, You Tex! / William MacLeod Raine (Pocket Books 78)

Paperback 349: Pocket Books 78 (7th ptg, 1948)

Title: Oh, You Tex!
Author: William MacLeod Raine
Cover artist: Roswell Keller

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• What the Hell is Happening!?!?! The perspective ... it's hurting ...
• "Chief Green Jeans was sunning himself on a rock, when all of a sudden ...!"
• I want to say that that woman was *clearly* photo-shopped into this picture, but ...
• This is like an abstract expressionist painting, with occasional humanesque figures.
• Fear hand!
• I do not quite get the punctuation of the title. "Oh, You Tex!" Is she ungrammatically affirming that that is his name? Is she calling him a "Tex" the way you might call some a "Brute" or "Bastard?" Is she excited to learn that he texts, but, like your mom, doesn't quite know the right word for it?
• William MacLeod Raine wrote the hell out of some westerns. His books are Everywhere in used pb shops.

Best things about this back cover:

• There are sexier names for a dame than "Wadley."
• Apparently there is no good synonym for "gun-play," so they just went ahead and used it twice. Sorry, just looked at the front cover—make that three times. Oh wait, I see, the front blurb is just a barely changed version of the last line on the back cover. Don't break your backs trying to be original, guys.

Page 123~

Cowboys left their partners standing in the middle of the floor. The musicians dropped their bows and fiddles. Bartenders left unfilled the orders they had just taken.

The cause? The Rapture! Just kidding. It's injuns.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 348: River Queen / Charles N. Heckelmann (Graphic Giant G-221)

Paperback 348: Graphic Giant G-221 (2nd ptg, 1957)

Title: River Queen
Author: Charles N. Heckelmann
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• That's up there with the most maniacal expressions I've ever seen on these covers
• Either his upper body is way out of proportion to his lower body, or that is one blousey top
• Look at his right pinky—it's like he's holding a cup of tea
• Her boobs are going to come out of that dress in 5, 4, 3 ...
• Fear hand!
• "Rawhide II: Rawhider!"
• "War and Love on the Mighty ... Missouri?" Really? I'm sure it's a fine river, but it feels like carob to the Mississippi's chocolate, i.e. a poor substitute
• "Heckelmann?" Really?

Best things about this back cover:

• That boat explosion looks like it was drawn by a child—a child who has no concept of how things explode. I mean, the boat appears to be utterly intact. The explosion lines are comically straight and debris-free. The explosion *does* appear to have catapulted those two fighting guys high into the air—that's *pretty* realistic.
• "Indian-proof," HA ha. Wonder what SPF that is.
• "Hey, baby, mind if I battle my way up your flaming shores...?"

Here's the title page illustration:


Page 123~

The flag whipped jauntily in the stiff, morning breeze.

That comma is super ridiculous.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 6 - Dell D102

Paperback 6 - Dell D102 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Great Smith
Author: Edison Marshall
Cover artist: Robert Stanley

Yours for: SOLD (June '09)


Best things about this cover (Where to begin!?):

• "I'm ... too sexy for this shirt..."
• Peek-a-boo pants!? Why not?
• World's least supportive bra: "Keeps your breasts from floating up toward your face!"
• "Great Smith"??? "Smith" somehow doesn't go - it's anticlimactic, like "Fabulous Jones." Unless this guy is, in fact, one hell of a blacksmith.
• I want all of you who read this to start using the exclamation "Great Smith!" in your daily lives in place of profanity.

This is definitely from the cheesier regions of my collections. Despite its bad condition, and its ordinariness, its cheapness, its run-of-the-millness, I love this book - or this cover, I should say; I certainly haven't read it. Stanley is a great realist cover artist, and though his women always look the same, his art has a softness to its edges that makes it very easy on the eye, very pleasant to stare at. Still, it's hard to imagine someone, anyone, looking at this book in line at the supermarket and thinking, "Wow, that guy is Hot!" That said, I would kill to look like him from the neck down.

This book also has a painted back cover! More art!


Best things about this back cover:

• "I bring you ... maize" (which here looks like a giant puff of smoke, likely the result of a sticker pull)
• "Magnificent, lusty love-making" - that's both graphic and oddly tepid
• I believe that knight to be quite anachronistic, unless Great Smith is jousting in some early RenFest

RP