Paperback 603: Angel Eyes / Robert Dietrich (Dell First Edition B203)

Paperback 603: Dell First Edition B203 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Angel Eyes
Author: Robert Dietrich (pseud. of Howard Hunt)
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Yours for: $16


Best things about this cover:

• I call wig.
• It's like there's a giant vacuum just out of frame, sucking the left side of her head away—earring and hair eerily defying gravity.
• She died the way she lived: fondling her bongos.
• She died the way she lived: on a giant magic diaper ride.
• She died the way she lived: one shoe on, one shoe off.

Best things about this back cover:

• Chunky pictorial question mark for the win!
• "I'm Bentley. Steve Bentley." — Steve Bentley, wowing them with his Bond imitation.
• You might ask what / the rationale is for / the line divisions on this back / cover copy

Page 123~

"As for any feeling I have about that little Bolac whore, I could put it all in a thimble and still have room for my finger."

I don't know what "Bolac" means and I don't care—this line is unimprovable.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

The P. Morrison Donations #7: Steve Bentley's Calypso Caper / Robert Dietrich (Dell First Edition B182)

The P. Morrison Donations #7

Title: Steve Bentley's Calypso Caper
Author: Robert Dietrich (pseud. of E. Howard Hunt)
Cover artist: Tom Miller

Best things about this cover:

• Quite a nice female figure, but unfortunately crowded and partially obscured by garish text.
• Her hair is gorgeous, from a painting perspective. I mean, you wouldn't want hair that actually looked like that (the "color" alone is frightening), but that's some nice, fine, confident brushwork.
• The more I look at that title font, the more it looks like it was created by a toddler with dull scissors. Terrible.
• Who gets this made up and spangled while also getting practically naked? Seems like a lot of work.
  I should start tagging books that use the hackneyed "—to murder!" / "—of murder!" / "—by murder!" finish.

Best things about this back cover:

• "They found the naked body of Victor Polo!" Oh sure, tease me with the near-naked body of that woman on the cover and then bait-and-switch me with the naked (and dead) body of some guy named Victor Polo. He's probably not even hot.
• "And me, Steve Bentley." HA ha. Least meaningful name drop ever.  "And me—Steve Bentley ... [cough] ... [tumbleweed] ... you know. Steve Bentley! ... come on! ... [crickets] ..."

Page 123~

The bartendress uttered a laugh like the caw of a robber crow.

First, some words were not meant to have feminine forms. Second, I wondered for a split-second what a rubber crow was supposed to sound like.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Paperback 275: Lovers Are Losers / Howard Hunt (Gold Medal 297)

Paperback 275: Gold Medal 297 (PBO, 1953)

Title: Lovers Are Losers
Author: Howard Hunt
Cover artist: Barye Phillips

Yours for: I forget — I'm blogging from CO and forgot to record the $$$ information before I left



Best things about this cover:

• Steve wondered why he'd ever agreed to marry the Bride of Frankenstein.
• Steve became despondent when his new magician's assistant-bride refused to let him have his favorite pillow. "You have to earn it, Steve. Pillows are for closers."
• Sucker Slouch (TM)!
• Her dress is hot from the bow up. From the thighs down, I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Best things about this back cover:

• The head of the monstrous she-bandit bobbed menacingly in the brook.
• That's your "fog of evil?" Really? Looks like a poorly rendered tree trunk.
• The back cover appears to have nothing to do with the front cover, and neither cover appears to want to tell you what the book is really about. Marketing!

Page 123~

"Are we going somewhere?"

"Acapulco, I suppose. Doesn't everyone?"

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Paperback 79: Stranger in Town / Howard Hunt

Paperback 79: Signet 729 (2nd ptg, 1949)

Title: Stranger in Town
Author: Howard Hunt
Cover artist: not credited (looks like "T.V." - an actual cover artist's name)

YOURS FOR: $15


Best things about this cover:

• This picture should be titled: "Yep, I'm Gay." That, or "Get Your Giant Hand Off My Shoulder and Tie My Tie Already!"
• I think that I think this guy is gay because he looks just like the first guy Cher (Alicia Silverstone) has a crush on in "Clueless" - who turns out to be gay.
  
• If the name Howard Hunt sounds familiar, it should: he was one of Nixon's "plumbers," and (along with G. Gordon Liddy) organized the first Watergate burglary. In his earlier, pre-criminal life, he wrote popular fiction.

Best things about this back cover:

• Apparently, Howard Hunt also played the dad on "Frasier." Versatile!

RP