Paperback 1140: Undress Rehearsal / John Carver (Softcover Library 95265)

Paperback 1140: Softcover Library 95265 (1st ptg, late '60s to 1970)

Title: Undress Rehearsal

Author: John Carver

Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 9/10    

Value: $12

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• Seems pretty bored for someone at an orgy. "What an orgy!" "Meh, it's OK." Maybe that wicker chair seat just isn't that comfortable to sit in naked.
• What is she holding? A leaf? A shoe? A feather? I also have a follow-up question. Namely, "Why?"
• Those thigh-high black leather fetish boots are shiny and spectacular. I just wish she seemed to be getting any joy from them.

Best things about this back cover: 

• The backs of sleaze paperbacks fall into two categories: brief, enigmatic, typo-ridden prose poems that seem to have been translated hastily from some lost Central European language; or, treatises.
• I took one look at the name "Roz" and thought, "oh that's definitely the requisite lesbian." I was close. 
• "Adults could make love with youngsters"—did that *ever* sound good? "Youngsters?" It's better than "children," I guess, but only barely.

Page 123~

"Filthy. It is even more disgusting in the flesh. A degenerate, characterless story containing the grossest invitations to moral disintegration. I object—and I shall go on objecting."

There's your back cover blurb right there. Just ascribe it to some the head of some fictional Public Morals Org. and you're in business! 

~RP

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Paperback 1139: Impervious to Pain / David Malcolm (Venus Library V-1070-T)

Paperback 1139: Venus Library V-1070-T (PBO, 1972)

Title: Impervious to Pain

Author: David Malcolm

Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 9/10

Value: $25-30

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• What's the opposite of "sans serif"?
• I can feel that bed cover, as well as those curtains, and it's not pleasant. I'm starting to itch.
• I cannot tell a lie, that is fantastic underwear. Not the boring nightgown—the orange paisleyesque panties. This cover is dead without them. Even the cat o' nine tails wouldn't be able to save it from the overwhelming motel beige.
• The subtitle of this book is "Case Studies in Sado-masochism." Improbably, it looks virtually unread.

Best things about this back cover: 

• So much text, much of it deeply troubling. For instance, "slave" and "salve" on the same back cover? My brain hates it. And "moist"!? Worse, "Moist, most," one right after the other. It's like this back cover copy is running its fingernails down the blackboard of my mind.
• This book runs somewhat outside my normal collecting time frame parameters (i.e. it's post-1970), and it is (therefore?) way more explicit, both inside and out, than most of the "sleaze" books I own. 
• "Quiver" twice!? I'm telling you: nails + chalkboard.
• "Her moist, most sensitive parts" and "his naked masculinity" are somehow both much sillier and much dirtier-sounding than their more straightforward, less euphemistic counterparts. 

Page 123~

Then she flipped her long almost air-tight skirt over her head, saying, "And if you have trouble breathing down there, I'll like that, too."

Never mind the seemingly impossible logistics of "flipping" an "air-tight skirt" over your head, this is a great line. A colorful detail. A fantastic bit of dialogue. I legitimately laughed out loud.

~RP

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Paperback 1138: Woman Trap / John Davidson (Uptown Books 705)

Paperback 1138: Uptown Books 705 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Woman Trap

Author: John Davidson (pseud. of Thomas Nuetzel)

Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 6/10

Value: $8-10

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• "She was the kind of creature that convulsed into a sea of rippling heated waves..." Oh that kind of creature. I thought she might be one of those creatures that hibernates, or maybe comes crawling out of my basement every once in a while. Thanks for clarifying.
• When my main thought about a sleaze paperback cover is, "hey, that's a pretty nice quilt," then I'd say it's lacking ... something.
• "OK, we're gonna cover you with this tarp and then you just ... do weird things with your hand ... OK, now try to look happy ... no, not hungry, happy ... eh, good enough"

Best things about this back cover: 

• All the women *I*'ve had??? What do you know? Is this some kind of Candid Camera / This is Your Life deal? If so, pass.
• The use of the second person here ("you") is so weird, not least because it drops out halfway through the blurb. ("'Waiting for his touch'?? Whose touch? Who the hell is this guy?")
• I won't bore you by recounting the grammatical atrocities in this blurb. I'll just say that somehow the most dispiriting of these, to me, is "laying there" (it's lying!!! lying lying lying!)

Page 123~

    Without knowing that he had done it, Carlton found himself walking up the pathway toward the house which Wanda Stevens was staying in. He didn't want to see her, really, but his feet had moved in the direction and he found himself standing before the door, almost afraid to open it.

    Then sighing, deeply, he reaching [sic!] out his hand and rang the bell.

Then sighing, deeply, I wondering how anything so poorly proofread ever made it to print. Also, why is he "almost afraid to open" the door when in fact, he can't open it, as it's clearly not his house. If it were, he wouldn't need to ring the bell in the very next sentence. He's not afraid to open the door—he's afraid to ring the bell. Just say that. Why Can't You Just Say That!?!?

~RP

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Paperback 1136: Angelina / Irving Lazar (Falcon Books FB-1006)

Paperback 1136: Falcon Books FB-1006 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Angelina

Author: Irving Lazar    

Cover artist: Photo cover

Condition: 9.5/10

Value: $ absolutely no idea

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• Aubrey Plaza, in a role that will embarrass you!
• Photographer: "OK, Jack, grab her shoulder ... now hide your face behind her head, but make sure we get a real nice shot of your ear ... that's it."
• Y'all there is so much wrong / off / weird about this book. To wit:
•     "Irving Lazar"!?!?! Probably a pen name, but a very weird pen name to have, considering it's also the name of a very very famous talent agent, Irving "Swifty" Lazar (1907-93). There is no mention of any books by Irving Lazar on his wikipedia page except for his autobiography.
•     This books looks brand new. 61 years old and it looks like it was just pulled off the shelf. No reading crease whatsoever. So fresh that it feels fake. Speaking of which...
•     What the hell is Falcon Books?!? Does anyone else own a book put out by this imprint? There's an earlier Falcon Books imprint (also sleaze, but digest size, and from the early '50s), but what about this more modern, '60s sleaze imprint? I ask because...
•     The publication page of this books reads: "An original Nite-Time Book." "Copyright 1964 by Nite-Time Books." Now Nite-Time Books is a recognizable sleaze publisher (I own one: Canary's Combo, also 1964). But why would it say Falcon Books on the outside (specifically, on the spine), when it is (as its publication page states) a Nite-Time Book?? There needs to be a central clearinghouse for all vintage paperback information! Somewhere where I can look up literally any book and bam, there's all the pub info, the author / photographer credits, the crazy back stories, etc. Make it so, lord (don't make me make it myself!)

Best things about this back cover: 

• Another ear! Is there a male ear fetish thing I don't know about DON'T ANSWER
• Oh, god, another one of these incoherent jobs. A gasp came from deep in my throat when I tried to read that first sentence.
• "Unzippering?" Did he remove the entire zipper mechanism from his pants? Seems extreme.
• "Without a word, her eyes still closed Ricky rolled her blue silk panties down her long legs..." Commas! Please, someone, send commas!
• The way I laughed at "flanks"! LOL. "Easy, there, girl ... good horse."
• "Now, George Please ... now." I would like to meet this George Please. And tell him to run.

Page 123~ (actually p. 23; p. 123 was impossibly boring)

Angelina felt Linda's slim fingered hand on her still wet breasts, one of Linda's thin legs lay between Angelina's fleshier thighs. Solwly (sic!!!) Linda's hands began to caress the breasts, her caresses getting firmer and firmer as both their passions mounted, until finally Linda's hands were moving with a kneading intensity.

Fingered hands and still breasts. She sounds ideal. Yes, give me a girl with a full complement of fingers and breasts that don't move, that's the girl for me! 

~RP

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Paperback 1135: The Twilight Lust / Val Arden (Royal Line 105)

Paperback 1135: Royal Line 105 (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Twilight Lust

Author: Val Arden

Cover artist: [photo cover]

Condition: 7/10

Value: $25

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• "Adults Only may see my nipples. Yes, I'm serious, those are the rules. I'm crossing my arms defiantly, so you know that I am serious."
• I want one of you to dress as This Lady for Halloween, insane wig, chainmail underwear, "Adults Only" sign and all. Dying decorative houseplant optional.
• "Twilight" is code for gay/lesbian/queer. Always. Such a great code word. My favorite cover copy word, right up there with "frank" (as euphemism for "dirty")
• There should be more condition ratings for old paperbacks than just Good, Very Good, Fine, etc. There needs to be a word that gets to the specific quality of a book like this, which is unread, square, perfect, but also aged to hell and scuffed and notched by a saw at the top, maybe sun damaged. It's like "Excellent/Poor"

Best things about this back cover: 

• Wow. Wow. . . yeah, wow.
• Who can forget the first stirrings of "girhood?" Not me, that's for sure.
• "Satisfaction in treir seeking." "Treir seeking" was a lesbian spiritual/sexual practice. No one remembers what it was anymore. This book is the only record of its existence. Did they ever find the treir they were seeking? You'll have to get your own copy to find out. 
• It's like someone found a "rejected cover copy" text-file dump and just filed it as final copy. Like, on a dare. "Surely an editor will clean this up." And yet here we are. 
• Somehow the most disturbing thing to me about this back cover is how horribly off-center the copy is. That, and the grime. Oh, and the sad, misaligned final word. Poor "body."

Page 123~

She saw the irritation darkening his face and knew his pride had risen to overrun them. He could not let himself be concerned. He had never come to her with questions. Only with orders. And, certainly, he wasn't about to start now. Especially not now. Finish.

That first sentence starts out great ("She saw the irritation darkening his face") and then just falls off a cliff and never stops falling. This paragraph is like "Notes Toward a Paragraph." I can't stop laughing at "Finish." It's like an annotation or an editor's note that was never supposed to make it to print. Like, "Remember to come back and finish this paragraph because dear lord it is a mess."

~RP

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Paperback 1126: Chicago: City of Sin / John J. McPhaul (Book Co. of America 005)

Paperback 1126: Book Co. of America 005 (1st ptg, 1965)

Title: Chicago: City of Sin

Author: John J. McPhaul

Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 8/10 

Value: $9

[Chapter 2 Books, Winona, MN (July 2025)]

Best things about this cover: 

• The title is great. And the book is in very good condition. And the imprint is rare (this is only my fourth "Book Co. of America" book). Other than that, not a lot to recommend this cover. Maybe the title font. That's pretty nice.
• Grim photo. But it's also small enough that I don't really notice it much. My eye just kind of takes it in as an abstract arrangement of darks and lights. The title, with its garish yellow-on-black color scheme, is far more eye-catching than the photo.
• It's weird that this scene (and its description) dominate the cover of the book, because (as you'll see), the book isn't primarily about the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, or even organized crime generally. It's an overview of all the "sinful" aspects of Chicago.

Best things about this back cover: 

• "[...] THE ONE CALLED MADISON?" Why is there a "?" at the end of that sentence? Do they not know the name of the street? Are they unsure? Maybe the typesetter left the "?" in there to remind himself to go back and factcheck, but never did.
• I don't know what "THE RIDE" is. Hang on ... lol when I google [birthplace of the ride] all I get is Sally Ride (she was born in Los Angeles, btw). Huh, not sure what "the ride" is supposed to mean. It's got sexual connotations, but I doubt Chicago is the birthplace of sex. It also can refer to being taken to prison, but again, prisons predate Chicago. Is it like being taken for a ride, as in scammed, somehow? Maybe it's some kind of hot dog ... 
• Pretty dishonest to say that the book is "SEEN AND TOLD BY AN ALL STAR CAST OF WRITERS AND REPORTERS," which implies that the book will be a kind of anthology of famous people's writing, and it is not. It's all John J. McPhaul, the "author" of the "famous film" Northside 777 (not a bad flick, tbh). Charles MacArthur wrote plays in collaboration with Ben Hecht; he was married to Helen Hayes, the first woman to win an EGOT. Finley Peter Dunne was a Chicago-based nationally syndicated humor columnist of the late 19th/early 20th century. "Written as though speaking with the thick verbiage and accent of an Irish immigrant from County Roscommon, Dunne's fictional 'Mr. Dooley' expounded upon political and social issues of the day from behind the bar of his South Side Chicago Irish pub." (wikipedia).

Page 123~

Patterson was running the New York News when a corset salesman named Judd Gray became enamored of Ruth Snyder ("a chilly-looking blonde with frosty eyes," in Damon Runyon's words). She was encumbered with a husband. The pair disposed of him with murder so badly botched that they were quickly arrested and sentenced to death.

Not sure why the head of a New York paper is in this book about Chicago, but knowing that Damon Runyon covered this fiasco makes me want to read more about it. Also, "encumbered with a husband" is a nice phrase. I've known more than a few women who could be thus described. 

~RP

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Paperback 1118: HUD / Larry McMurtry (Popular Library SP218)

 Paperback 1118: Popular Library SP218 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: HUD

Author: Larry McMurtry

Cover artist: N/A

Condition: 7/10

Value: $15-20

Best things about this cover: 

• HUD stands for "HUge Dude"
• I love how defiantly HUD Paul Newman is. Like, "Yep, I'm HUD. Here I am. Cool as shit. Lean, handsome, ten feet tall. Perhaps you best run along..."
• Patricia Neal's exercise routine was, let's say, unorthodox
• Patricia Neal wins an Academy Award for Best Actress and *this* is how the book cover treats her? Like she tripped and fell over in the background of a Paul Newman photo shoot? Not cool.

Best things about this back cover: 

• The only thing sexier than dry HUD is ... Wet HUD!
• I hope he was not, in fact, "capable of rape." It's been a while since I've seen the movie, so I forget. (Looks like he attempts rape ... but the movie is mostly about foot-and-mouth disease in cattle—sexy!)
• "Exciting." The period somehow makes it sound less than exciting.

Page 123~

    "Hud, who is it, hon?" Lily said. She was in the back seat.

    "Oh, snakeshit," Hud said. "Run get that pickup an' point it this way, so we'll have light. I can't turn mine aroun' in this road. I may a run over him."

~RP

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Paperback 1117: Night and the City / Gerald Kersh (Dell 374)

 Paperback 1117: Dell 374 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: Night and the City

Author: Gerald Kersh

Cover artist: [movie still: Richard Widmark, Gene Tierney]

Condition: 6/10

Value: $10-15

Best things about this cover: 

• Two of the greatest, smoldering for your attention
• This is one of my favorite movies, and one of the greatest films noirs of all time. It's probably my favorite movie of 1950, which is Saying Something (1950, after all, has All About Eve, Sunset Boulevard, Born Yesterday, etc.)
• Harry Fabian is the quintessential noir hero. Antihero. Loser-hero. Just wants to be somebody. Thinks he can work the system and outsmart the big boys. Finds out ... otherwise. If that's not noir, I don't know what is.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Mapback! All books should be mapbacks. I really don't understand why they're not.
• Frank! Feels like forever since the "Frank!" alarm has gone off. My favorite paperback cover adjective returns (albeit in adverbial form)
• Cabbie, please take me directly to HONKATONK BOTTLE-PARTY. Located at ... [squints at book] ... 5? No, just 5. I don't know. 5! Find it! Use "The Knowledge!"

Page 123~

    He walked slowly back to Rupert Street, entered quietly and undressed in silence. He was relieved to see that Zoë slept soundly.

    He undressed and crept into bed beside her.

    She sighed, and whispered: "Chihuahua—"

   

Look, I'm sure there is explanatory context here, I'm just saying, I don't wanna know it. I'm gonna just assume that "Chihuahua" is a term of endearment for Harry, or else that she is dreaming of tiny dogs ... or that "Chihuahua" was the name of her childhood sled.

~RP

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Paperback 1110: Handbook for the Woman Driver / Charlotte Montgomery (Vanguard nn)

 Paperback 1110: Vanguard (unnumbered) (no ed. stated, 1960)

Title: Handbook for the Woman Driver

Author: Charlotte Montgomery

Cover artist: Elizabeth Pollock + [photo cover]

Condition: 7/10

Value: $8

[from a big box of books sent to me by reader "Gail"]

Best things about this cover: 

• I love the idea that women will naturally be wearing fancy driving gloves while driving. Also, that the steering wheel will be a freestanding plate or disc or fencing mask or robot helmet of some kind. Looks more like someone discovering an ancient artifact than someone driving a car.
• She's giving Eleanor Roosevelt. She also looks kinda like my paternal grandmother.
• Phillips 66 had a cool logo. Sincerely.
• I wonder what kind of assumptions this book makes about women drivers. Let's open to a random page and test the waters, shall we? — "Many women have confessed to me (as if it were a secret vice) [... go on ...] that they sing loud and lustily when they're alone in their cars." Thankfully, Mrs. Montgomery approves. She does not approve, however, of picking up hitchhikers or stopping on a deserted road or dressing or acting in any way that might attract "undue attention." I think she wants to say "don't dress like a whore," but that was probably deemed untactful by the editors.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Trop-Artic! For when the weather is ... too ... ar(c)tic?
• Trop-Artic! Not at all awkward and nonsensical! Really surprised it didn't catch on.
• The corporate synergy of Good Housekeeping and Phillips 66 is really something to behold.
• I love (Love!) how they're selling motor oil to women the way they'd sell beauty cream. Because "every woman" wants a "lubricating formula" (!) to help her car look "younger."
• "*A trademark" is a hilarious footnote. Oh, is that what "Trop-Artic" is? I just though it was an ad exec's bad idea.

Page 123~

Paper Play: Ticktacktoe; drawing a figure in sections, turning back the paper each time to hide what's already been drawn; folding a sheet and cutting strips of dolls. A drawing game for older children is played by making a sketch to illustrate a title, song, event, etc. The first to guess correctly wins.

"Paper Play" sounds like a very ... interesting ... driving kink, but this is just part of a long section on "ways to distract your annoying kids on a long automobile excursion." I like how the author basically invents Pictionary here. But that spelling of "Ticktacktoe" is cursed. 

~RP

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Paperback 1081: The Case of the Fenced-In Woman / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 77884)

Paperback 1081: Pocket Books 77884 (1st ptg, 1973)

Title: TCOT Fenced-In Woman

Author: Erle Stanley Gardner

Cover artist: [photo cover]

Condition: 7/10 (slight spine lean, some dings and dirtiness, kinda what you expect a book like this to look like)

Value: $6-8

[Binghamton Public Library Book Sale, May 2024]

Best things about this cover: 

• My wife got me this as a present from the local library book sale. Did not expect to reboot this blog with Ancient Chest-Shaving Rituals but you get what you get.
• "Now sweetheart, you know that's not a safe way to eat frosting, we've talked about this..." "DON'T FENCE ME IN, HAL!"
• Perry Mason Solves ... The Case of the Shirtless Dermatologist! "I don't like the look of this mole on your cheek, Sally. And your upper thigh feels suspicious, too. I'm gonna have to operate. Be a good girl and give me back my scalpel."
• Perry Mason Solves ... The Case of the Man with the Blurry Feet! (spoiler alert: his feet were hideous so the publishers blurred them)

Best things about this back cover: 

• My brain reading this back cover: "blah blah blah SUBURBAN SPANKING!? Awesome!"
• "Morley Eden said," is literature. It is art. It is a poem, the damnedest poem you ever heard.
• "Snaky gowns that cling like the skin on a sausage" is the kind of thing they send you back to Simile School for. "You're trying to convey 'sexy,' right? "Sexy, yeah, sexy." "And 'snaky,' that's OK, that kinda gets you there." "Yeah, gets me there, gets me there..." "But 'skin on a sausage'..." "Yeah?" "Well it's..." "Hot!?" "No, I don't think—" "Wait, wait. Let me explain. See, the chicks are the sausage, which is delicious, right, and..."

Page 123~

"You came over here in a hurry, didn't you, Mason?" Tragg asked.

"I do many things in a hurry."

"Did you just wink at me, Mason?" Tragg asked, his uniform clinging like the skin on a sausage...

~RP

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Paperback 1076: Professional Lover / Maysie Greig (Pocket Books 541)

Paperback 1076: Pocket Books 541 (1st ptg, 1948)

Title: Professional Lover

Author: Maysie Greig

Cover artist: "Front cover photograph by Halleck (!?) Finley"

Condition: 6/10

Value: $4-7

[Another book from the recently acquired Larry D Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• I know it's a weird place to start, but her top is *amazing*. Zebra stampede!
• The perfect horizontal line from the top her head to the tip ofer her elbow, also amazing.
• I know "Making love to women is his job" sounds saucy, but it's 1948 so ... not so much (it just means he's a heartthrob movie star, sorry to disappoint).
• Dude is a dead ringer for Rock Hudson. I mean, if you ignore the rubberized hair piece, what the hell...
• I wonder how long they had to hold this pose. So much close breathing. Plus, his (giant!) hand looks like it's really working.
• The couch / wall color combo is particularly unappetizing.

Best things about this back cover:

• Dang, his lips are really going to town, maybe this will be hotter than I thought
• Rex Brandon, I buy. Starr Thayle, I buy less.
• Cover copy writers still using clunky phrases like "had been accorded," that's how you know you're still in the '40s. Although "crashing climax" and "flaming tale" (!!) show promise.
• Halleck? That's a fish, not a name.

Page 123~

All afternoon they had been taking and retaking a couple of scenes on the yacht. Rex couldn't get them to Stephen's satisfaction. Almost as though Stephen derived a grim satisfaction in making the great Rex Brandon go over and over a certain take.

I would love to have a funny take here, but once again the editor in me is like "Why are there two 'satisfaction's in here? Do you not hear the repetition? Does it not jar your eardrums?" Copywriter: "Well, if my writing is not to your satisf-" Me: "Stop." Copywriter: "It's just that satisf-" Me: "Say 'Satisfaction' Again, M*****F*****! I dare you."

~RP

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Paperback 1074: The Amboy Dukes / Irving Shulman (Avon 169)

Paperback 1074: Avon 169 (1st ptg, 1948)

Title: The Amboy Dukes

Author: Irving Shulman

Cover artist: Ann Cantor

Condition: 7/10

Value: $25-30

[Another book from the recently acquired Larry D Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• A Wayward Youth Grows in Brooklyn
• Ooh, I did not know there was a movie tie-in variant cover for this (very famous) JD novel. Oddly thrilling. I mean, not as thrilling as my man's gaudy and shockingly wide tie, but thrilling nonetheless.
• Her eyebrows and his spit curl are Just So. Mwah. Perfect. Great hats, great attitude, just great all around.
• Drew Pearson! Oh sure, I know him, he's a ... [squints] ... noted commentator. Wow. That's a job title right there [runs off to update business cards]

Best things about this back cover:

• "Oh Frankie" "Oh Betty" [swelling music, heaving bosoms, sloppy kissing noises]
• "Frankie and Betty / Were sick of spaghetti / By the summer of seventy-five // They were tired and cold / They were 50 years old / They were barely alive" (thank you for coming to my Billy Joel tribute concert)
• I do like how they give the whole damn cover, edge to edge, over to this dramatically lit picture. I guess this is to prove that the movie is real and not just some weird marketing ploy.

Page 123~

"I love you, Frankie," Betty was hoarse with passion. 

"Will you ever leave me?" whinnied Frankie. "Neigh," hoarsed Betty.

~RP

P.S. I am so happy to be writing this blog regularly again. I do not care at all if the blog ever has a lot of readers, but I would like it to find its audience. Its weirdo niche. So if you ever wanted to hype it, in any way, to your nerdy friends, that would be rad. Thanks. Oh, and comments welcome. I love hearing what you all think of the books. XO

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Paperback 1072: The Sex Cheat / Roger James (Bee-Line 284S)

Paperback 1072: Bee-Line 284S (PBO, 1967)

Title: The Sex Cheat

Author: Roger James

Cover artist: photo!

Condition: oof

Value: sentimental?

[Another book from the recently acquired Larry D Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• Somebody read the hell out of this book. Or at least handled it ... frequently. I love a beater copy—no worries about condition, just an open invitation to "Read Me!"
• Oh, the wig. Oh. Ow. By the time it leaves her heck and heads toward her torso, it appears to turn semi-sentient, evolving claws, contemplating hellish doings...
• Legit LOL'ing at the how the cover text has to kind of scooch over and make room for her considerable chest. Her boobs just shove those words right out of the way. That's power.
• It's an oddly cheery, wholesome-looking photo for a smut paperback. Fright Wig notwithstanding.
• Ah, the original "... in bed" joke!

Best things about this back cover:

• Sex Game! All caps! You've heard of the TV show "Squid Game"? Well ... this isn't that!
• Cover photo seems so much darker with the poor girls' eyes ripped off
• "Wanton"—there's a word that peaked on paperback covers circa 1967 for sure. Definitely a cover copy writer's second-best friend (after "Sin," of course)

Page 123~ (bracing myself for something awful/wonderful)

Bruce turned completely away from the uncovered, brandishing breast and walked dismally towards his wife.

Yeah, I know, you're thinking "Does this writer even know what 'brandishing' means?" and given what I've read, just on Page 123 ... probably not. Consider: "Her own breasts rose and fell in great, trembling lifts" or "Eva Simmonds quickly recouped the dislodged bra cup over her naked contour and hastily came around from behind the sofa." I mean, that's "brandishing" "lifts" "recouped" and "contour" that he's bungled, all in just one page. Imagine Reading This Whole Book. You guys, there is so much lurid, ornate, comically baroque, borderline monstrous breast writing here. "She pushed the shuddering, irregularly bobbing area of luridly exposed flesh back out of sight and held the sagging cup of the damaged pink bra while she glared at Bruce Grant" yes "shuddering" and "irregularly bobbing" is what my soul is experiencing right now for sure. 

~RP

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Paperback 1069: Various Temptations / Various (!) (Avon T-385)

Paperback 1069: Avon T-385 (PBO, 1955)

Title: Various Temptations

Author: Various

Cover artist: N/A (photo)

Condition: 7/10

Value: $5-8

Best things about this cover:

• "Hey, what should we call this thing? 'Deadly Dames'!? 'Sinful Sirens'!? 'Voluptuous Vixens'!?" "Nah, those all sound too hackneyed and corny. I'm gonna have to think about it some more. Tell you what, just put some placeholder title in there now and we'll come back to it." "Gotcha."
• What kind of vibe am I supposed to be getting from this crummy photo? 'Cause the only vibe I'm currently getting is "Can I lend you a comb? A brush? Something? I want to help."
• Sometimes your big names stay big names, and sometimes ... William Sansom.

Best things about this back cover:

• This is the part where they try to make Literature sound hot.
•  First one's too generic, second one's too ... yeesh, I wanna say 'racist' ... third one's got me curious, I will admit—sounds like his wife performs a sex act on stage, but it could just as easily be that she makes good coffee. And the fourth one, well, I'm all in, if only to see what it means to be "engulfed" (!) in "erotic impulses"—smothered in some horrible vibrator factory accident, I imagine / hope.
• There's only one way I like my heiresses, and that's wayward. No chaste, well-behaved heiresses for me, no thank you.

Page 123~ [from "The Dare," by Budd Schulberg]

Paul rose, and leaned on the railing of the pier to watch the sport. Only then did the yellow-brown halter above the deep-tan midriff inform him of the sex of the skier.

Talking halter tops! Again, I'm in! Also, "the quick yellow-brown halter jumped over the lazy deep-tan sex midriff" is one hell of a typing exercise, you should try it. No "g" but who needs "g" anyway?

~RP

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Paperback 1056: In Case of Emergency / Georges Simenon (Dell D279)

Paperback 1056: Dell D279 (1st Dell, 1959)

Title: In Case of Emergency
Author: Georges Simenon
Cover artist: photo

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $10-15

Best things about this cover:

• If anything was gonna kickstart this blog again, it was gonna be a sudden jolt of "frank"ness (picked this up on Sunday at Autumn Leaves bookstore in Ithaca)
• Is there another way to be "shocking" besides "frankly shocking"? Can you be "coyly shocking"?
• I know there is the suggestion of titillation inside ("8 PAGES OF PHOTOGRAPHS") but you'd think they would've offered up a more (frankly) suggestive shot of Bardot for the cover. Yes, she appears to be naked and in bed, but it's really a rather dull still—as if she were merely eyeing the cover copy and thinking, "yeah, I guess that's OK."
• I want to live in a world where promises of JEAN GABIN photos could move books

Best things about this back cover: 

• "Thoughts of Jean Gabin invaded her mind like ... well, like this red arrow!"
• Yes, "obsessed" with his mistress, we get it, you said that on the cover, come on, thesaurus!
• Nevermind, I just finished reading that first paragraph, put the thesauraus down, I repeat, put the thesaurus down, step away from the adjectives, please
• I know "little slut of the streets" is supposed to sound insulting but I think it's kind of cute ... also, maybe your "traitorous body" is your own problem, pal
• "Degrading," "depravity," "destruction," "desires" ... how about "desist" or "depart the D section of your dictionary, dude"?

Page 123~

"You'll see! She's got a pretty little pussy, with real blonde hair."

OK so that "pussy" is not I repeat not a cat. Frankly, I'm shocked. No, I'm being *real* frank, not boy-who-cried-frank frank. This quotation seems ... well, as explicit as anything I've ever seen in a book from a mainstream 1950s paperback publisher. I guess the French get more leeway. You know how they are.

~RP

Paperback 1053: La Dolce Vita / Federico Fellini (Ballantine S 517 K)

Paperback 1053: Ballantine S 517 K (PBO, 1961)

Title: La Dolce Vita
Author: Federico Fellini (trans. Oscar DeLiso and Bernard Shir-Cliff)
Cover artist: photo cover (Anita Ekberg!)

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $12-15

Best things about this cover:

• Best things? I'm going to be polite and say "her armpits! they're breathtaking!"
• I think the stylized color title font against the black-and-white still works very nicely
• Like many paperbacks of the era, this book seems to be promising more hot action than it is going to be able to deliver. "Over 96 pages of photos!" (most of them not showcasing the ample figure of Ms. Ekberg)

Best things about this back cover:

• Only Fellini may wear that hat
• Really laying the sex on thick here. I guess '60s audiences were really titillated by "decadence"
• Holy shit I was so distracted by the hat that I almost missed the KITTEN

Page 123~

~RP

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Paperback 1043: Torrid Tramps / George H. Smith (Novel Book 6029)

Paperback 1043: Novel Book 6029 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Torrid Tramps
Author: George H. Smith
Cover artist: photo cover ("posed by professional model"!)

Condition: 7/10 (great, but mild smashing mid-spine)
Estimated value: $20

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]
Best things about this cover:

• The words promise a lot, but these photos do Not deliver. They all look like people who went to a beach party and got food poisoning, esp. that sweaty 50-year-old at the bottom left. "No ... no sudden movements, sweetheart. Be a doll and bring me an icepack ..."
• Honestly this should be called Tepid Tramps, nothing remotely torrid is going on here
• Ah, I see they were all created by sadists. That makes sense—I feel pretty abused by this whole cover
• Could not figure out what was going on with center guy's head and honestly thought he had some kind of bear head on, like a team mascot, or some kind of half-clad Furry
• George H. Smith: "Could you make my name ... like, small?" Editors: "OK, how's this?" Smith: "............... smaller"

Best things about this back cover: 

• "BY POPULAR DEMAND!" LOL I doubt that
• "Typewriter" I love this man. My kingdom for George H. Smith's typewriter!
• That is one hell of a catalogue. I love the specificity of "ten days." How big was the print run? Like, 12 copies?
• Oh man sweaty middle-aged dude is bigger here. Bigger is worse.

Page 123~ (I want to copy this whole page for you, it's so "good")

Then, they came together like rutting bitch and dog, like fumbling drake and duck ... like nipping stallion and nervous, screaming mare.

... like sullen Frog and anxious, sweating Toad

OK, I lied, that was the end of p. 122! Here's the opening of 123:

They made their love in the deep straw, taking their chances with the Diamond Back Rattlers...

"Hey, what're you guys doin' over there?" "Leave us alone! We'll make our love, you make yours! No copying"

~RP

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Paperback 1040: Inflamed Trio / Charles Fay (Emerald Reader 107)

Paperback 1040: Emerald Reader 107 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Inflamed Trio
Author: Charles Fay
Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 8/10 (unread, square, bright, but some scuffing, and w/ pub. page torn out??)
Estimated value: $15-20

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• It's hard to find a good nostril model.
• Nude Model Museum Rugby is a rough sport. This player has clearly hurt her knee and will have to come out.
• Is it really a good idea to lean against the painting like that? After all, that's an original [squints] Rubano?
• Wow, those are ... some words.
• Don't discriminate against backs. Be a friend to backs. Be a back ally.
• What the hell is "Sinports" even a pun on?? Car ports? Imports? Sun porch?
• They've playfully covered up the "Inflamed Trio," i.e. her nipples and the patch of eczema above her right elbow.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Which do you think would look better on my business card: 'Artist in Sin' or 'Sin Artist By Choice'? Oh never mind, I'll ask my mom. Hey, MOM! ..."
• Honestly, I've seen scores of these tag line / ellipsis / nonsense cover copy / ellipsis / tag line back covers—they are a staple of '60s sex fiction back covers—but this one is the first to exhaust me. It's like being bludgeoned with nonsensically bad grammar. Good luck making it all the way to the IGNITED CARNALITY
• "As a simile from another story herein" ... if you have any idea what this sentence means, let me know. It's as confusing as a simile.
• LOL "trio"—did they just scare-quote the book's own title. That's pretty meta.

Page 123~

A few well dressed agents with bulging client books and nervous, hopeful clinets at their sides, glanced at Ronald with interest.

I know it looks like I've made some typing errors in transcribing that quotation, but I assure you I have not. Not a one. I'm imagining "clinets" as a kind of medium-sized, reclusive panda-cat. It's too bad only one clinet can get the part. Good luck, clinets! I hope you land that well [space] dressed agent!

~RP

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P.S. there are typos on like every page of this book. Also, the font, my god:

"traffice?" that's onsense!

Paperback 1036: Circle of Sin / Leslie Behan (Domino 84-700)

Paperback 1036: Domino Books 84-700 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Circle of Sin
Author: Leslie Behan
Cover artist: Photo cover

Condition: 7/10 (tight and square, but w/ water stains on edges)
Estimated value: $25-30

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• No single word is going to derail your Sexy Train faster or more efficiently than "groping."
• Jeez, male gaze much?
• "Now why don't you sit up here on my desk?" "Wh-?" "Shhh. It's standard practice." "Uh, OK, I guess. But who's that?" "Him? Oh, that's just Steve. Ignore him." "Uh..." "Good, now whatever you do, do Not look at the lamp." "Bu-" "AVERT YOUR EYES!"
• The psychologist's suit is legit hot.

Best things about this back cover:

• Groups gone WILD {CRACK!}
• "Revolved achingly" = me trying to dine at one of them revolving restaurants, no sir, I'll take my food
• stationary, as god intended, thank you very much
• I love how this goes from dumb-ass sex fiction to super dumb-ass Agatha Christie mystery on a dime! Wait, we got a body!? I'm in.

Page 123~

"You met a girl?" Durango looked at him closely. Somehow he found himself believing the answer. "Where? What girl?"
"I picked her up on Broadway. She was standing in a doorway. A hooker. I went up to her place with her."

This novel has to be sexier than this dude Forrest Gumping his way through Sex Town. Hang on ... OK here we go:

Her hands moved downward, over the tiny waist to the flat belly. She massaged the belly for a long time, moving farther downward slowly to the trembling mound beneath it. And then her fingers were nearing their target, the tips becoming slippery with the dew of passion they found there. They caught the tiny polyp of flesh awaiting them and stroking it.

I can't stop laughing at that last "sentence." As with the cover copy, this writer really, really knows how to ruin whatever meager sex vibe he's able to get going. I mean, "polyp"? That's something you discover during a colonoscopy, why would you use it to describe the clitoris, dear lord? Am I really supposed to believe a woman wrote this? "Leslie" ... OK, Leslie, aside from possibly a fake name, could also be a dude's name. All I know is a guy wrote this. A guy whose grasp of grammar, like his grasp of sexiness, is not very, uh firm. ("... and stroking it"?)

~RP

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Paperback 1032: Behind the Flying Saucer Mystery / George Adamski (Paperback Library 53-439)

Paperback 1032: Paperback Library 53-439 (1st ptg, 1967)

Title: Behind the Flying Saucer Mystery
Author: George Adamski
Cover artist: what is this cover, anyway?

Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $8-12

Best things about this cover:

• What am I even looking at?
• Feathers?
• Wood shavings?
• Arrow heads?
• How 'bout you "rip the curtain of secrecy" from whatever this picture is?
• And the little white streaks? Is this supposed to be a Rorschach-type dealie where I basically ascribe meaning based on my paranoid imagination? What if I'm just bored?

Best things about this back cover:

• The QAn*n folks have nothing on this guy
• "Since that fateful day in 1952 when he first lost his fucking mind, George Adamski became a known lunatic who somehow got a book contract"
• "Men" LOL
• The Brothers!
• The Silence Group, Can I Join Please Shhhhhhhhh.... No Talking Ever
• "Revolutionary" and "new" are both angry at being dragged into the whole "twelve-planet solar system" conversation
• Jeez louise, this isn't his first UFO conspiracy theory book!?

Page 123~

... for he [Patrick Moore] had been one of the British astronomers, along with Dr. H. Percy Wilkins, who had confirmed the existence of the Mare Crisium bridge on the moon. He must have known for certain that someone had been using the moon as a base of operations, and the only logical ones were people from other planets.

Yes, that does sound like logic. Also, the idea of the Mare Crisium as the site of a lunar colony appears in Robert Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, also from 1967, though I am sure that is a total coincidence, because no way George Adamski is getting his totally scientific ideas from fiction, no way, and if you don't believe me then you're probably part of the Silence Group. You Silence Groupies never quit.

~RP

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