Monday, June 11, 2018

Paperback 1024: Highway Hustlers / Zan Collins (Magenta M112)

Paperback 1024: Magenta Books M112 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Highway Hustlers
Author: Zan Collins
Cover artist: God I wish I knew

Condition: 9/10
Estimated value: I have no idea, as this book literally appears not to exist...

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

***

MagentaM112
Best things about this cover:
  • "OK, let's take this transcontinental lesbian sex romp premise and make it ... lifeless. Oh, and make the roads look totally implausible and ignore all rules of scale and pretend depth perception isn't a thing ... oh yeah ... that's good"
  • There is no shoulder to this road. They are standing in the road. Next to the world's tiniest mesa and cacti.
  • Those look less like sexy poses and more like attempts to set a Guinness world record for balancing oddly
  • Zan Collins. When you want a totally plausible namelike name under which to publish your crappiest fiction: Zan Collins.
  • I don't think you have to worry about "minors" going anywhere near this eyesore
  • That pink top is actually very cute.


MagentaM112bc
Best things about this back cover:
  • I can't stop laughing at the full-stop after "Unwary." Sure, it's D-grade sleaze fiction, but we're not animals—punctuate properly!
  • "I am not a tramp, she kept reassuring herself" is one of the greatest lines of cover copy I've ever seen.
  • Too many words. Words that do nothing but amass into a meaningless mush. Has there ever been a less climactic climax than this one?

Page 123~
"Your eyes are agleam," Meg whispered at last.
I laughed so hard at 'agleam' ... crossword people will understand. But I'll give you more, because there is more to give:
[W]hen they stripped down, Marianne noticed Meg's pointed breasts. The nipples were taut, swollen.
     She never questioned Meg as to what kind of evening she had enjoyed. But if Meg's rosettes were honest, Marianne was quite sure that she had told the young soldier goodbye in her own womanly way.
Ladies, don't you hate it when your 'rosettes' lie? Or when people call your nipples 'rosettes'? I mean, really...

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

2 comments:

capewood said...

Looks like a rough patch of road to be hustlin' on.

CplRock said...

“Good stuff” on the back cover? C’mon, make ‘em work for it.