Friday, December 16, 2011

Paperback 489: Madame / Ben Berkey (Kozy Books 161)

Paperback 489: Kozy Books K161 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Madame
Author: Ben Berkey
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:
  • The German soliders were mesmerized by her astonishing shadow puppetry skills. "Oooh, that's a swan. Lovely."
  • Wow, those are some perfectly spherical, gravity-defying tits. And they're sprouting! Chia-Tits!
  • I love it when a stripper manages to coordinate her shoes and her pasties.
  • I like the blond G.I. Josef in the foreground. You know he's important because he's the only one sitting in a recliner.
  • I love the decor. They've painted the walls a lovely shade of Despair.


Best things about this back cover:

  • Ugh, this flaccid prose. Make it stop!
  • Wait, how did "passion" come before "desire?"— "I'm not really turned on yet, but if I just keep dry-humping you, I'm sure it'll come along."
  • Too much "seeming!"
    If you want to turn a guy on, try literally placing your lips inside his ear. Guaranteed not to creep him out and make him recoil in primal horror.
  • What did she say!?!?! Vickie!!!!! Speak up! Vickiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee! (you see how invested I am...)

Page 123~
At the barrier, Lettie Muller and Frank Killdare indulged in small talk, with the Lieutenant gone to talk to the guard, Killdare felt a trifle shy in her presence [1]. Certain incidents [2] that had occurred between them in the past [3] now came to the surface [4] with crystal clearness [5]. He had an uncomfortable feeling [6] that the girl also felt that way. He was soon to find that he had guessed right [7].
  • [1] Jeez, run-on much?
  • [2] I kill my students for this kind of vagueness, especially when said "incidents" are Never, Ever named, come on!
  • [3] Yes, that's when most events tend to have occurred.
  • [4] Of ...?
  • [5] In America, we say "clarity," but go on ...
  • [6] Not unlike what one feels reading this tone-deaf prose.
  • [7] "I often make girls feel uncomfortable, so the odds were in my favor, really," he said at the post-game press conference.


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Anonymous said...

the tits were ahead of their time

Pat said...

Technically the slang for German Soldiers is "Landser", but this gut might be a "Alte Hasen" or "Old Hare". But not G.I.. G.I. or Joe is for American Soldiers, like British Soldiers are Tommies.

Rex Parker said...

Yes, that would've been much funnier.

Jay Parks said...

"Vickie lay mute and quiet..."

Anonymous said...

@Jay Parks - Clarity was necessary there, because in the previous chapter she was quite gassy.

Random White Guy said...

What a deadly dull blurb on the back cover. None of it would inspire me to cozy up with Kozy Books.

Larry said...

Rex, you are too cool.

Mangraa said...

Two words: Ziggy Stardust. Or David Bowie.