Friday, April 17, 2009

Paperback 220: Frenchie / Aaron Bell (Kozy Books K171)

Make-Your-Own-Commentary Experiment, Part IV - add your thoughts on this book in the "Comments" section (man, I am so jealous of you guys right now - you have no idea how hard it is to hold off from commenting right now)

Paperback 220: Kozy Books K171 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Frenchie
Author: Aaron Bell
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $18

Page 123~

"There are no others, John. Just you, and I, and my fiance [sic]."

"Your fiance [sic]?" said Robertson, stunned at the news.

"Why not? I have no romantic ties with anyone else. That is. [sic] I don't think I have."



Erik said...

Is the "[sic]" because of the lack of accent aigu? Because (assuming the speaker is the scantily clad lady from the cover) fiancé is indeed correct - she would be his fiancée, but the masculine ending is correct in this case.

Now, on to the snark - not much to say, really, other than (a) hubba hubba! and (b) if that's ecstasy and passion I'd hate to see them when they're bored.

Erik said...

Oh, and of course the inevitable counting of phallic symbols... I see at least three here. Not a record, but a decent showing.

Dirt Diggler said...

"... but as they stood, passion and ecstasy eluded them like a limp codfish, or a fallen souffle^."

Rex Parker said...

Yes on lack of accent.

There aren´t just phallic symbols. There are doubled phallic symbols. Eiffel Tower OVER wine bottle! Why SHE is the one with the (double) phallus, I don´t know.

The title of this painting is "Le Sexy Ennui."

JamiSings said...

Don't forget he's holding an upright cigarette. Which is weird since they've proven smoking causes impotence! (Tar from the tobacco likes to collect in soft tissues, such as the lungs and the penis. This restricts blood flow. Restricted blow flow means a man cannot attain an erection. So always remember, if you smoke you'll end up on Viagra. Bob Dole takes Viagra. Do you really want to be like Bob Dole?)

You know, for such a thin woman her boobs are kind of saggy. Someone call a plastic surgeon, stat!

Rachel Helps said...

I don't see any adults reading, unless there's something written on his cigarette.

Rain said...

Is no one else interested in reading "Virgin of Spar Rib Hill"?

Alix said...

I think the boobs are surprisingly realistic looking. The right one, anyway; the left one's a little fakey. But her face seems a good 15 years older than the rest of her.

Not only is his shirt still on, he didn't even unbutton his cuffs. That's seriously uptight, dude.

@JamiSings: ewwwww!

I demand that the entire Kozy Books collection be reprinted immediately! The Virgin of Spar Rib Hill, Split-Level Love, Sin College? We are talking the golden age of literature here, people. Cozy up with Kozy Books!

Eunice said...

Alix> I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the buttoned cuff!

Because I love the celebrity look-a-like game, I'm saying: Katherine Hepburn and Robert Conrad.

I'm guessing from her glare (and still in place hair) she's been waiting like that for some time only for him to completely ignore her...

"Man, babe," he flopped onto the bed, "Am I ever beat!" He then lit a cigarette and started to go off to sleep.

'Bastard,' she thought bitterly.

Nicole "Gidget" Kalstein said...

!!! So. Much. To. Say.

Alix: I agree about the boobs. Not only are her boobs realistic, in fact, but her abdomen area and her legs, especially the one that's folded up.

Now, snark time (so much...):

Front cover:

-That Eiffel Tower scene is ridiculous-looking. Why is the Tower white?
-Her hair is very...librarian-ish.
-The position in which that woman is reclining does not look comfortable. Also, her hand/arm look sort of...deformed. Look at her wrist!
-The man doesn't look particularly comfortable, either. His neck looks stiff, his hand is awkwardly holding that cigarette in a weird position, and, as Alix and Eunice observed, his cuffs are buttoned.
-Why are the curtains open?
-That is a strangely-shaped bed.
-Also, a strangely-shaped bra.

Finally, back cover:

-Poolside Pushover: The spineless cabana boy gave her everything she asked for...and then some.
-Burlesque Jungle?
-Split Level Love?
-"What should we put in that empty bottom left corner?" / " about a HUGE-ASS asterisk that tells everyone that this is only a PARTIAL listing of Kozy Books."

Okay, I'm done now. Seriously.

JamiSings said...

I didn't say they weren't realistic, just saggy. Especially given their size. They don't look like DDDs like mine which would explain their sagginess. Just some adverage C-cups which should be at least slightly perky, unless she's nursed a baby or two.

As for the "ew" factor, well, I can't help it if it's true! LOL And I can't figure out a better way to convince people to not smoke then by telling them they'll end up having something in common with Bob Dole!

JamiSings said...

Oh, and a quick Google search for Kozy Books turned up these URLs -

That will hopefully make up for any ew-factors my former posts brought up.

Alix said...

@ JamiSings: it was just "collects in the soft tissues" that got me.

I keep reading the title as the last word of the cover blurb: "the ecstasy and passion was now theirs as they lay Frenchie." I can't decide whether that makes things better or worse...

I'd like to think that Split-Level Love is the story of Mike and Carol Brady's sordid swingin' hijinks while the kids and Alice are away one weekend... if it's not, it's a novel that SHOULD BE WRITTEN!

Alix said...

I just checked the Kozy Books Wikipedia entry. Oh, the TITLES!
Price of a Virgin
Suburban Trap
The Girl with the Golden G-String
Swamp Nymph
Love Peeper


Merc said...

"It wasn't til after the painful blistering started that he realized- no Parisian girl actually calls herself "Frenchie". Such a dissonant, ugly-sounding name would be something only a crude Yank, being paid by the word, could dream up for pulp effect. After seven thousand other pulp writers had thought of it first. "

Anonymous said...

'...the ecstasy and passion was now theirs as they lay...'And judging by the blah cover art, they're in no hurry to make any use of said passion.

The copy editor must have lost interest - "Hell, I threw ecstasy and passion in there, I'm callin' it a day."

Rex Parker said...

You had me at "boobs."

You know I have other Kozy Books in my collection, right? I'm just sayin', don't despair - you'll be seeing more of the big "K" in the future.

Back on U.S. soil now, and so regular write-ups resume ... today. Thank you So Much for filling in for me in the Comments. I'm oddly happy to find out I'm superfluous.


Lindsey said...

I'm pretty sure this is a cheap hotel room and that so-called window is nothing more than a painting on the wall. If it's not intentional, I'm pretty sure the artist has never seen Paris or the Eiffel tower.

Schatzi said...

I'm pretty sure they're staying at Hotel la Rut.

KBriarS said...

The Big Flick/Split-Level Love/Bait by Adam Snavely and Poolside Pushover by . . . Adam Snavery?

Tropic Temptation by Jason Fleece. Dreaming of a warmer place, my woolen friend?

Squeeze Play. Hehe.

Anne said...

Frenchie’s back cover shows a bookshelf with a book called Loose Women, by a Walter Feldspar -- a man with loose rocks? and a book called Strange Love by Jacques Perdue, perdue meaning to watch covertly, as if that didn’t make for a strange love life?! and a book about Passion Island by Owen Gualt, a man named after thick clay, a rarity on islands! and a saint -- St. John -- apparently knew a Temptress well enough to write a book about her!

Kleo said...

Did anyone notice "Love is a Three Letter Word" title?
Unless you're in a chat room, I think it should be four.