Thursday, July 16, 2009

Paperback 257: Pirate Wench / Frank Shay (Pyramid Giant G75)

Paperback 257: Pyramid Giant G75 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: Pirate Wench
Author: Frank Shay
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: SOLD (July '09)

Best things about this cover:

  • Catherine Zeta-Jones stars in ... "Braless Zombie II: Zombie's Revenge"
  • As I scanned this image, the Violent Femmes "Prove My Love" was playing on iTunes. It contains the lyric, "... we've all been through some shit." In the case of Pirate Wench, this appears to be literally true. Who draws their braless heroine with brown stink lines emanating from her body?
  • "Outlove?!" "Outfuck" really works better here. It's more alliterative. And, I'm guessing, more accurate.
  • Shirtless man: "I have a gun ... and yet I am powerless to resist her magical pirate dance."
  • Shirtless man: "I wonder where I can get a shirt like that ... I'm tired of the crew teasing me about how manly and ungay I look"

Best things about this back cover:

  • If you like your sex "raw" and "blood-stained," you'll love "Pirate Wench!"
  • " ... a night below deck": That is one, tough, tiring way to "win men's allegiance." How is one woman supposed to put a whole crew together. No wonder this book is "raw" and "blood-stained."
  • She's pro-vocative. Screw you, ablative!

Page 123~

There were nine pirates captured and there were nine gibbets; no one about to go on trial would be found not guilty.

"No one ... would be found not guilty." Is that litotes? (Def: A figure of speech consisting of an understatement in which an affirmative is expressed by negating its opposite, as in This is no small problem.) Pretty fucking uppity for pirate smut.


P.S. A Portuguese reader (yes, I have one) sent me a link to the following book cover: a Portuguese version of Gil Brewer's "Wild to Possess" (you can see part of the American cover in my header, between "Pop" and "Sensation" ... the redhead w/ the gun). Very cool to see pulpy covers redone for foreign markets.


Nicole "Gidget" Kalstein said...

See, Rex, this is why I love your blog. You use words like "litotes". Being an English major, I am seriously into that.

Anyway...what is Mary trying to do with that cheesy fake fencing epee?

Shirtless guy: "Oh, no, not again. Look, Mary, we know you were in The Pirates of Penzance, but we don't need to see your reenactment every five minutes."


Michael5000 said...

I can tell when I've been outloved...

Frank said...

I don't think she NEEDS a bra, not when she has double-sided tape, apparently.

Some serious alliteration on that back cover copy.

Ms Avery said...

Think my favourite part is the quotation from that rather overenthusiastic review...

Christa Faust said...

WANT!!! Where do I send my 8 bucks?

pious agnostic said...

"Full a lootin' an' lovin'!" -- the Hooterville Gazette

Dirt Diggler said...

* Obsessed ex-schoolmarm thou art loosed!
* Shirtless: "Gawd! She's hot when she's on the rag!"
* "Filled with looting and loving!"
(Sounds like Big Government.)

Rachel Helps said...

"pro-vocative" bah ha ha haaaaaa

Alix said...

I think her head's on backwards.

Nine pirates, nine gibbets -- well, at least she was fair and open-minded in her pursuit of justice.

"Screw you, ablative!" HA!

JamiSings said...

Her head looks like it's too big for her body and also she has no neck. Which makes me wonder how she could outlove a man - unless not having a next actually improves blow jobs.

G said...

Thank you for your Post Scriptum!

Your Portuguese Reader