Friday, July 17, 2009

Paperback 258: Perverted Love Slave / Adam Calin (Royal Line 127)

Paperback 258: Royal Line RL 127 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Perverted Love Slave
Author: Adam Calin
Cover artist: in witness protection

Yours for: Unavailable

Best things about this cover:
  • Worst. Alarm Clock. Ever. "Alright, alright, I'm up ... dang!"
  • "In this house we wear bras and *only* bras! No [crack!] bracelets! [crack!]"
  • The lady in the bed is, uh, hot. The lady with the whip is, uh, not. She's pasty and misshapen and has one of the Fry Guys on her head.
  • Debbie was distracted from her dominatrix duties when she suddenly noticed a mysterious, massive dollop of lemon frosting at the foot of the bed.
  • "She was a lust slave to his every depraved desire" — "his?" Wow, "he" managed to get himself a superior boob job.

Best things about this back cover:

  • This feels like it was translated from the Bulgarian in some horrible translating forced labor camp.
  • I mean, how am I supposed to do my job? This thing is self-parodic.
  • I like how that first paragraph appears to be someone writing out loud, in real time. Stop transcribing every thought you have!
  • Misspelling "Jekyll" helps them avoid messy fictional defamation lawsuits.
  • "Shame Whims" made me literally LOL.
  • My god, the font size, the spacing ... it's all so off, so wrong, so tawdry — the cover copy equivalent of a snuff film.

Page 123~

"I mentioned you to Mrs. Tomane. She's interested in writing. She would like to meet you, since you're writing a novel that has a chance to be published."

"Who told you that?"



Dan said...

I think we've all known someone like that, haven't we?

That Hank said...


Really, what else is there to say?

nutcracking pornographer said...

Little known fact: the writer of the jacket copy went on to pioneer spam-emails that make their way to my blog comments section with dot-ru addresses.

nutcracking pornographer said...

Little known fact: the writer of the jacket copy went on to pioneer spam-emails that make their way to my blog comments section with dot-ru addresses.

Nicole "Gidget" Kalstein said...

I'm surprised nobody noticed the overuse of the word "lust" on the back cover.

Then again, the entire blurb back there seems to scream "SCREW GRAMMAR!"


JamiSings said...

I think blond domme lady is related to the braless pirate zombie in the other book. Both have heads too big for their bodies and no necks.

Alix said...

No wonder it's unavailable! This is heirloom-quality trash, the thing you hand down for generations.

Still wondering where/who "he" is.

Somehow, I need to find a way to make "shame whims" a part of my everyday vocabulary.

Dirt Diggler said...

Zoom the front cover and check out the asymmetry of Blondie's brow. She evidently has had massive head trauma and/or the world's worst plastic surgeon!

-Having only bras on gives new meaning to the term "whipped-topping".

-And I think sleepy head really just slept on top of her red Sharpie pen.

Jackie said...

SHAME WHIMS is totally the name of my new band.

JamiSings said...

That's easy to do, Jackie, just join the current presidential administration and suggest yet ANOTHER stimulus package rather then something that would actually HELP.

Rex Parker said...

Snide political comments very, very unwanted here.

Tulse said...

"Oh no, not Mrs. Tomane -- she's poisonous!"

Michael5000 said...

Something interesting about that snide political comment though, Rex. It is a true non sequitor, rhetorically addressed to the previous commenter but in no way making logical reference to what that person said. This makes me wonder if it was perhaps a snide political comment generated by some random blogcomment-generating online robot? Or -- could it have been... a snide political comment generated in the passion of the moment, as a kind of...


Lisa in Oz said...

Shame whim = me snort laughing in my chair. Priceless. Just...priceless.

beggar1015 said...

Jackie, when your band, the Shame Whims, release their first album, you should use this art for the cover.

I can imagine some of the tracks.

1. Perverted Lust
2. Lust Pervert
3. Jekyl-Hyde Lust
4. Bestial Lusts
5. Depraved Perverted Lust Acts
6. Whip It

Veronika said...

when all else fails SHAME WHIMS! The deodorant guaranteed to turn you from a mild mannered Dr. Jekyll to the lustfull Mr. Hyde!*

*Side effects may include Depravity, Perversion, Lewdness, and in extreme cases a prolonged sense of brutal domineering. If SHAME WHIMS effects exceed 4 (four) hours, please consult your doctor.

Anonymous said...

hahaha another classic and great round of responses

Anonymous said...

"His" may be referred to a she male since that particular time in history we were not keen on accepting there were such diverse sexuality not the typical sexual of either male or female. I'm not talking about sexual orientation, but rather sexual organs.