Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Blurb That Book! — "The Secret of Sylvia" (1963)

Title: The Secret of Sylvia (Gold Medal k1308, 3rd ptg, 1963)
Author: Lee Borden
Cover artist: uncredited

So recently a reader wrote me asking for "Lady Into Fox" (one of the weirder covers I've ever featured on this site). I was gonna let him have it for the price of postage, but instead we did something novel — we decided to swap books. In exchange for my sending him "Lady Into Fox" (which, frankly, is still sitting here unsent, because I'm lazy), he would send me a ... surprise book from his own collection. Well, surprise! It arrived yesterday, and it turns out: I already own it. So I'm giving it away to one of you — randomly-selected commenter gets it.

Was going to go with "Best Comment" wins it. But then reconsidered. While I really enjoy most of your comments, I knew that if I'd had to pick a winner ... well, my money would have been on "Random Chinese Spammer." That guy's just too good.

Prove me wrong, kids. Prove me wrong.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]


MKuhl said...

Of course men are haunted by her. It is very frustrating to try and have sex with a mime.

Jackie said...

Looks like a Cinderella story, except that when the clock strikes midnight she starts growing a beard and losing the bone structure in her hands.

Deb said...

Obviously, Sylvia's secret is that her pinkie finger is fusing with her ring finger--horrors!

Frank said...

Sylvia's secret: Her real name is Silvio. Also, she's the world's shittiest interior decorator.

Rex Parker said...

You know the term "5 o'clock shadow?" Well, by the looks of things, I'd say it's about 7:30.


Rex Parker said...

And yay to new commenters.

Marla said...

A woman was practicing her seated Balinese dance routine in the nude when the doorbell rang. "Who is it?" she asked. "Blind man," he replied. "Just a minute," she said, and opened the door without dressing. The surprised man said, "Where do you want these venetian blinds, lady?"

[yes I deleted and retyped my comment three times because I cannot tell a joke without messing it up)

Random White Guy said...

She had been all things to all men... but she still couldn't get that Vulcan hand greeting right!

Alix said...

Some things are meant to stay secret, and I'm pretty sure Sylvia's one of them.

Lindz said...

Oh no! My computer won't load the photo? Venetian blinds? Ring-to-pinkie finger fusion? Mime sex?! The tension is overwhelming!

Lindsey said...

The secret of Slyvia - she's a man, baby!

Melvin said...

The secret of Sylvia is, she's actually just what Plastic Man trying to make himself fun to look at in the mirror.

Tulse said...

I was going to guess her secret was "scoliosis", but that doesn't appear to be very secret.

(Can we award Marla an internet? 'Cuz that joke was awesome.)

Elaine said...

The Chinese Slats to the Spine Torture! O, the horror!

Jen Alien-Spouse said...

Sylvia's secret to keeping her figure was lunching on a bowl of fruit and a potted plant every day.

sificligh said...

Sylvia looks pretty sexy. This was clearly before the days that the standard of sexy wasn't "anorexic / heroin addict."

Unknown said...

Sylvia's secret? She's a man, baby!

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cwogle said...

That looonng blue ribbon. I want to pull it. Tug it hard while...

Hey, she's the slattern, not me.

My vote goes to Twitter Buzz. His snark was dead on!