Sunday, December 27, 2009

57 Books from the University Book Sale: Books 30 and 31

Don't ask me why, but these two seemed to go together...

Title: The Old Man and the Boy — Crest d555 (1st ptg, 1962)
Author: Robert Ruark
Cover artist: N/A

Yours for: $5

  • Imagine a simpler time ... when a book with a title like this wouldn't scream "pedophilia"
  • Hey, look, it's the highly unasked-for and unauthorized sequel to "The Old Man and the Sea"
  • "Long story short, I shot that boy and his head now hangs over my fireplace."
  • "Straight from the exciting experiences ..." — please, please don't tell me.
  • The real title of this book is "Tomatb Hlanho Edndey," which is Swahili for "White Man In Silly Clothes Thinks He's a Hunter"

  • Please tell me that the guy with the spear is not "The Boy"
  • Two things I don't want my reading material to be — "homespun" and "salty"
  • "Smells?"
  • "Everyday living" — imagine the kind of balls you'd have to have to use that phrase above that picture.
  • Deciding his quarry was too fat and stupid to bring him honor, the warrior turned and walked slowly home.
Page 123:

The Willie was about half coaled out, and he was flopping and spluttering in the water.

I don't even know where to begin ...

Title: How to Work with Tools & Wood — Pocket Books 1057 (1st ptg, April 1955)
Author: Fred Gross (ed.)
Cover artist: photo (Meyer Studios)

Yours for: $10

  • I believe this is the sequel to "The Old Man and the Boy," wherein the old man takes the boy to see his dunge-... I mean, workshop.
  • "Have you ever ... worked with wood, Billy?"

  • This back cover is a relief, as it is mercifully dull instead of nightmarishly suggestive.

Page 123~

As the bottom is accessible from the end, it may be sawed out and then trimmed to line with the chisel if necessary.

That's some good handyman porn.


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Deb said...

If you could reduce the entire colonial experience in Africa to one picture, you could hardly pick a better one than the picture on the back of The Old Man and the Boy. You can almost see the thought bubble coming out of the warrior's head, "Your time around here is coming to an end, old man, just you wait and see."

Nicole "Gidget" Kalstein said...

I actually spewed coffee everywhere laughing at the Page 123 for The Old Man and the Boy. Seriously.

JamiSings said...

Eh, I don't think "The Boy" would have much to worry about. Ruark smokes and smoking causes impotence.

Frank said...

If only Mr. Ruark had stuck to writing books about Lt. Uhura of the Enterprise, we all would have been spared those two pictures.

What the hell does "coaled out" mean, BTW?

Mo said...

Caption for Tools & Wood cover shot: "When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer."

Tulse said...

What the hell does "coaled out" mean

It's something that happens to willies, and leaves them floppy.

Salmagundi Booktopia said...

LOL great post! Am loving your blog....

cwogle said...

If your Willie was half-coaled out, you wouldn't be making jokes about it.