Title: Lesbian Twins
Author: Willi Peters
Cover artist: Uncredited
Yours for: $30
Best things about this cover:
- The title font is amazing—stuck somewhere between Wacky and Horror
- Composition here is also amazing—I especially love that her ass is at his eye-level, and the "Vega Book 50c" logo is like a caption over his head signifying "whoa...!" or "boing!" or "hubba hubba" etc.
- Remember Doublemint's short-lived ad campaign for "Adult Gum?" Me either.
- A book about lesbian twins by someone whose first *and* last names are slang for "penis!?" What are the odds?
- Like I believe that Bill here would find the idea of two hot young twins making out with each other "ugly." His akimbo arms say "well I never ..." but his ass-hungry eyes say something else.
Back cover is just a giant version of that "Vega Book 50c" logo, so we'll go straight to ...
Page 123~
"Bill, would you like to see the picture of the girl Jane lives with?"
The way she said it, speaking it all out unnecessarily [1], I was sure I got her message: Look, Bill, Jane is still a Lesbian [2].
The girl in the picture wore a leather jacket and levis [3] as she straddled her motorcycle.
"Looks more like a man," I couldn't help saying ... [4]
- [1] ??? "The way she said it, using her lips to form a syntactically coherent set of words..."
- [2] Love the capital-L Lesbian. More badass and imposing that way: appropriate considering the girl in question is a biker.
- [3] Capital-L Lesbian good; lower-case l / apostrophe-free levis, less so.
- [4] Pretty sure you could help saying, Bill. Although you do seem awfully mystified by words and the funny things they do, so who knows?
~RP
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
4 comments:
After the beautiful paintings on the cover of Sex and the Armed Services, where the men're clearly men, and the women, women, we're reduced to this, the cover of Lesbian Twins.
Lesbians? The creature in the room at the top of the stairs might just be female, but the 'twin' coming up the stairs is clearly her brother in drag!
If anyone's a lesbian, it's Bill, mincing at the foot of the stairs! And that seems to be the poor bastard's problem: he can't take his eyes of that arse - hence the Vega Book 50¢ scintilla-like flash placed between them - but he's confused.
Am I a woman in a man's body experiencing lesbian attraction to the arse of a woman built like a Polish ice hockey player, or am I merely a childlike man with a girlish demeanour homosexually attracted to a transvestite pretending to be a tomboy?
"Obedient to Mom's insistence, Hilda started upstairs to join Jane for a nap."
Obedient to mom? How the bloody hell old're these 'girls' supposed to be, (in between lezzing for England - or America)? If the effect gravity's had on Hilda's arse's anything to go by she's clearly in her nineties - either that or Hilda's really Hal with a couple of flattened crash helmets superglued to his cheeks.
No wonder ugly visions multiplied in Bill's brain - they were called Hilda and Jane!
"Looks more like a man," Bill couldn't help bitchily observing - something no one'd ever be able to say about him!
Actually, the more I look at Bill, the more he reminds me of a shaved albino female gorilla.
How old are these twins that they are (1) still dressing alike, and (2) still obedient to their mom when she tells them to take a nap?
BTW, I think the cover artist does a pretty good job from the neck down--nice touches like the realistic bunching and creasing in her dress and her foot just ever-so-slightly coming out of her shoe as she climbs the stair, but those faces--yikes!
This is hilarious. iIs this book still available to buy
Post a Comment