Monday, May 24, 2010

Interlude — 2 books I "borrowed" from the BPOE in St. Maries, ID

Come on, how was I *not* supposed to take these?:

Best things about this cover:

  • So ... it's about a vengeful virgin? Why not just call it that?
  • I'm not sure I'm convinced that Mr. FancyShirt QuaintPinky could make a door explode like that. Seriously, look at his "grip" on that gun. It's like he's drinking tea or something.

Best things about this back cover:
  • "Reifel" — from the Dept. of Unimaginative Naming

Best things about this cover:
  • When grilling Nick Carter, make sure his massive barrel chest is well basted.
  • "Just a second Nick, I'm almost at the next level of 'Missile Command'..."
  • That Nick Carter head/logo is the smuggest, douchebaggiest look achievable by a human face.

Best things about this back cover:
  • WHEN was it acceptable to break "assassination" between the first and second Ss???

Page 123~

from "Assassination Brigade":

He fired, and the bullet chipped off a piece of pavement about an inch away from me. By then, I had Wilhelmina in my own hand. The man only had the opportunity to snap off one more shot before I had steadied the barrel of my Luger and put a bullet in his belly.

In case you missed that — he named his Luger "Wilhelmina." God save me from ever finding out what that particular relationship is like.


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Anonymous said...

First thing I thought of was how much that door looks like a vulva. Combined with the way he's bursting through it, and the fact that he'd already lost everything but his innocence, this whole cover seems like an akward deflowering analogy.

On an unrelated note, that is one long arm he has.

Rex Parker said...

That's one splintery vulva. Or two splintery vulvae, I guess, technically.

Deb said...

I work in a junior high school where one English teacher has her students keep a reading log called "The Five W's." Each day they have to log the "Who, What, When, Where, and Why" of what they've read. That teacher would love the back cover of the Nick Carter book for its succinct summary of the entire plot.

Unknown said...

>>WHEN was it acceptable to break "assassination" between the first and second Ss???<<

That's actually correct, even though it looks peculiar. You hyphenate between syllables, and it's common to break duplicate letters across syllables.

Lordy, my high school English teacher did a job on me.

Frank said...

Oh he'll give them a sassination! He certainly will! *snaps*

Sean Brodrick said...

Doesn't Ben Reifel look like he's at least 45 or 50? How much "innocence" could he have to lose?

Tulse said...

Ah, the days before we invented letter-spacing...

capewood said...

He named his gun Wilhelmina? Gives another idea entirely of pistol whipping.