Several times since I started writing about vintage paperbacks, people have offered to send me books. Not just scans of covers, but actual books. For free. Just ... because. And the cover-loving world rejoices. Allow me to share my latest acquisitions with you. Actually, I'll give you one today, and one this weekend. These books come to me courtesy of a generous reader, Gabrielle Bucci. Hey, the former mayor of Binghamton is named Bucci. Any relation? No. Oh well.
Title: Ringside Sex (PBO, 1966)
Author: Ray Wilde
Cover artist: Hasty McCreeperson
- "You put your right boob in, you keep your left boob out ..."
- This title is pretty blunt. "Are you the RINGSIDE SEX I ordered ...?"
- Something about her position is phenomenally unsexy. Boxer man, however, is one hunky slab of man meat. My favorite part of this cover = his shoes.
- This is from the "Lull Them Into a False Sense of Calm With Ellipses and then SHOUT AT THEM WITH ALL CAPS" School of cover copy writing
- "Lady Fight Promoter" = Prince's never-released follow-up to "Lady Cab Driver"
Page 123~
I sat for about a half hour, sunk in thought, trying to untangle my thoughts and emotions [though mostly trying to think of another word for "thought"]. There was little Gay, back in Los Angeles ... and I suddenly realized that Gay didn't have a chance.
That's too bad, because I'm pretty sure Gay would love a chance at Captain ManMeat there.
~RP
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14 comments:
Where could you get a computer to program bedroom lights in 1966? NASA?
Well, Deb, the very first (cover) page of the book cautions that "All characters and situations in this book are fictitious." If boxing arenas and canvases can be all-green and 50-yr-old men can be heavyweight champion, then sure, computer-programmed lights, why not? :)
rp
The only thing sexier than computer-programmed lights is COMPUTER-PROGRAMMED LIGHTS.
The lady is unsexy looking. She has been drawn with the stiff face of a blow-up doll and the posture of the hunchback of notre dame.
The all caps keywords on the back are great. Such creative writing with the simile "a bed as big as the Astros' outfield."
How is she perched there? She must have really concentrated on those Kegels to get that kind of clench to her feminine muscles. She also looks cougar-like, before there were "cougar"s (but after COMPUTER-PROGRAMMED LIGHTS, apparently!).
Why was the big bed compared to the Astro's outfield? The Astros only became the Astros in 1965. I guess the Astrodome was new and the back cover writer was a baseball fan.
Being from Houston, I find the Astros mention quaint, but rather odd -- not exactly your classic baseball team.
And I'm amused by the reference to the secretary's KING-SIZED MEASUREMENTS, although I suppose that some people have a thing for obese women...
The mention of the computer controlled lights with the RIGHT EFFECT has me baffled -- does it spell out her name on a pixelboard? Strobe to stun the viewer? I'm so confused.
There really is nothing right about the woman. The worst part is the smile and dead eyeline.
I too am taken aback by the COMPUTER-PROGRAMMED LIGHTS. Knowing how huge computers were back then, all I can imagine is these big bulky monsters running along a wall, humming and clacking, with lights randomly blinking. Just doesn't seem like the RIGHT EFFECT to me.
I'm not gay, but that boxer is a fine-looking specimen.
(I lied, I'm totally gay, that dude is hawt. The lady is sort of.. comedienne sexy? Draping her boobs on the rope is sort of Carol Burnett. Who I love. The cover is sort of sexily comic in a way. He's her Lyle Wagonner here. Bathe him and bring him to me. Thx!)
I'm not gay, but that boxer is a fine-looking specimen.
(I lied, I'm totally gay, that dude is hawt. The lady is sort of.. comedienne sexy? Draping her boobs on the rope is sort of Carol Burnett. Who I love. The cover is sort of sexily comic in a way. He's her Lyle Wagonner here. Bathe him and bring him to me. Thx!)
Oh that cover's just sad. He's s clearly trying not to laugh at her. She's like some freaky wacked-out neighbor from a bad sitcom.
So is this book pure porno or light porno?
It's important to make sure you get the "Adults Only" printing of Ringside Sex and not the "My First Book" printing of Ringside Sex.
Do you think the cover artist is really called Hasty McCreeperson, or do you think he was too embarrassed by this picture to reveal his real identity?
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