Title: The Doctor & the Dike
Author: Jason Hytes
Cover artist: Uncredited
Yours for: $21
Best things about this cover:
- If that is his receptionist's regular office behavior, I'd say she has a bigger problem than (capital L!) Lesbianism.
- Love the expression on his face: "Hmmm, that's odd. My comically large diploma didn't prepare me for this eventuality..."
- Garters are sexy.
- I don't quite understand what she's supposed to be doing. Is that a dress she has just removed? Silk cloth with which she's performing some kind of dance? A space alien that has bitten her hand and won't let go?
Best things about this back cover:
- "Gwenn's breasts were too small" — I'm not sure that qualifies as "interesting"; "Gwenn's breasts spoke to her at night"—that would be interesting.
- I will give this back cover one thing: I *do* want to know what "his own problem" is now. Although if it's something as simple and predictable as "he keeps nailing his patients," I'll be at least a little disappointed.
- "Ow, my core!"
Reed wet his lips (1), suddenly parched, his mind aflame with thoughts of Patricia and her strange behavior (2). "This girl," he rasped drily (3), "what did she look like?" He balled his hands into tight fists as he awaited her reply.
- First, gross. Second, when I played clarinet, I often used my lips to wet my reed.
- Come on, just tell us! Between the back cover and this sentence, I've had just about enough of your ambiguity, mister.
- I really wish I could post an audio file of me trying to recreate what this sounds like. I sound like an aging smoker picking someone out of a line-up ("This girl... [cough]").
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]