Paperback 621: Jazz Me Baby / Karl Kelly (France F29)

Paperback 621: France F29 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Jazz Me Baby
Author: Karl Kelly
Cover artist: [photo cover]

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)


Best things about this cover:

• Fold-out! And what a reveal! Darkly-crotched panties and bunched-up hosiery. This photo screams "klass!" Also, "model needs to eat / pay rent."
• "Here, lie on these sad, cold little metallic pillows. Perfect. It's like you're the giant in the harem. Le Sexy!"
• I really hate that the title doesn't have the comma where it belongs. Sincerely.
• Favorite word on this cover: "American" — "Following the huge of success of 'Jazz Me Baby' overseas ..."
• Maybe if you say "routine" again the description will ironically sound less routine.
• Karl Kelly needs a better agent. His name's nowhere to be found on the cover. And it's not like they don't have enough real estate.

Best things about this back cover:

• I am curious YELLOW!
• "in his off-hours, or even during his working hours OMG WHY DO THESE WORDS EXIST?!"
• "The inner yearning burning" is a phrase you should use to describe all your amorous urges. Pretty please.
• "Pneumatic!" Wait, is that where you operate her by a system of pulleys? Or ... wait, no, that's where you can't slam her because of her compressed-air system. Practical!

Page 123~

I strode masterfully (strode? hell, dad, I wobbled!) to the bed room, not even looking around to see if she was following me.

"STRODE? HELL, DAD, I WOBBLED!" is the new "Looks like you've been behind the barn!"

~RP

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Paperback 620: My Bare Lady / King Coral (Bee-Line 110)

Paperback 620: Bee-Line 110 (PBO, 1966)

Title: My Bare Lady
Author: King Coral
Cover artist: Uncredited

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)


Best things about this cover:

• Eliza Wear-Little! [pats self on back, whispers 'nailed it.']
• Lose the evil-octopus wig, put the pants *on*, ditch the belly-scratching doofus, and we're in business!
• Best word on this cover: "desert." 
• This cover looks like it's covered in a horrible white film. I know. I KNOW. Gross.
• King Coral! I loved her 1971 album, "Tapas Tree."

Best things about this back cover:

• One of the greatest taglines of all time.
• Ordinary women know nothing of Naked. Nothing! Why, it involves lotions, unguents, pulleys, dry ice, oxen ...
• Teacher of tricks! For my first trick ... Disappearing Dignity!

Page 123~

Light, tender, soft little caresses and moist warm kisses were bestowed and received by our bodys, with no force, and no searching.

Come for the passive voice, stay for the improper pluralization!

~RP

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Paperback 619: The Odd Kind / Arthur Adlon (Beacon B492F)

Paperback 619: Beacon Books B492F (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Odd Kind
Author: Arthur Adlon
Cover artist: Milo

From The Doug Peterson Collection (recent addition)


Best things about this cover:

• This title answers the question: "What kind of face did the angry lesbian ghost have?"
• "Ancient rituals" is some through-the-looking-glass euphemism. I guess it's tied to some idea of ancient Lesbos. Or child sacrifice. One or the other.
• This artist liked to get his models so drunk they pass out. Then wait. Then just as they're awakening from their stupor, bam—paint them!
• This model's stupor must be considerable. I mean, normally, when a murderous, vengeful, crudely painted ghost materializes in your bedroom in a big cloud of smoke, you'd turn around and look.

Best things about this back cover:

• Whoa. "Bisexual." You don't see that word a lot on paperbacks. Interesting.
• Re: LA MODENA—The "town in Italy" thing kind of undermines the whole "strange name" thing. "Oooh, your name's so strange." "It's a town in Italy." "Oh ... I see."
• Oh, sure, LA MODENA is "strange," but *that* dude's name is *totally* normal.
• I have flipped through this book and that question, "did they want him or each other?" Well, it's each other ... for a while. But then it's him. Pam dies. LA MODENA and Jorge end up together. P.S. Spoiler alert.

Page 123~

Mod laughed nervously. "What will you tell them, baby?"

"How the hell do I know, until they ask me?" Pam answered half seriously. She swung around and regarded Mod critically. "You don't expect me to get up and announce I got married—to a girl—do you?"

~RP

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Paperback 618: Easy Women! / Orrie Hitt (Novel Books 5065)

Paperback 618: Novel Books 5065 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Easy Women!
Author: Orrie Hitt
Cover artist: photo cover

From The Doug Peterson Collection (new acquisition)


Best things about this cover:

• Strangely, the part of all this nutso text that made me laugh hardest is "... ON IT!"
• So ... they're a bunch of lazy welfare queens, but they have orgies 24/7?! They sound ... industrious, at the very least. 
• That 10,000,000 number is less impressive when you consider he wrote about 100,000 books.
• I love the design on this, in the way that I love completely inexplicable things. I've never seen text obscure my view of the action quite so much as it does here. I think people are making out next to the blond woman's left cheek ... but who can say?
• I love how the one book Orrie Hitt has been dying to write is probably the one people have been least dying to read. "You know what this sleaze paperback needs more of? Ayn Rand." Said no one ever.

Best things about this back cover:

• Hang on, let me get my reading glasses and a cup of cocoa.
• I need to get ahold of "Animal Broad" and "Giant Orgy" asap.
• "Novel Books: Books for men who really like being men with other men in a way that is "virile" but *completely* not gay."
• I love how it's all "man" this and "man" that re: welfare, but of course the book is all about sluts.
• "You'll applaud his condemnation of their 24 hour-a-day orgies!"—oh, OK, so it's not a solid 24 hours of orgying, but one hour of orgying a day for 24 days. That's a *much* more reasonable orgy schedule. 

Page 123~

He had learned the meaning of power that night in Emily's room [1], the raw power of anger [2], and when he had reached home he had found love in his wife's arms, a wife who had smelled of scotch but who no longer drank [3].

[1] 50 Shades of Orrie!
[2] Uh oh ... someone go check on Emily.
[3] So either she started drinking again or some Scotch-slathered brute 24-hr-orgied her. You can guess which scenario I prefer.

~RP

P.S. the spine reads "A NOVEL BOOK / IS A MAN'S BOOK!"—At this point, I'm surprised they didn't just cover the whole book in cocks.

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Paperback 617: Ski Gigolo / Lew Lessing (Kozy Books K109)

Paperback 617: Kozy Books K109 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Ski Gigolo
Author: Lew Lessing
Cover artist: Uncredited

From The Doug Peterson Collection (new acquisition)


Best things about this cover:

• Baby, it's cold outside. But also hot. And it's formal, so you'll need heels. Perfect!
• Capt. Kirk's younger brother Gordie had an elf fetish and took a Lot of drugs.
• Purple and green. Just ... 'cause.

(And now for the back cover. Brace yourselves ... if you suffer from coulrophobia, you'll want to look away now. Trust Me.)


Best things about this back cover: 

• I know.
• I know.
• When Doug handed me this book this past weekend, a bunch of us spent several gasping minutes trying to figure out just what the hell we were looking at.
• "Did somebody call a shirtless doctor clown?"
• "They ran out of clown hats, so I just got one of them oversized drink umbrellas. Looks good, right? Yeah, I see you like it. What you doin', crunches?"
• Good luck getting that chest hair out of your brain tonight.

All appearances to the contrary, this is not the cover of a second book. It's an ad (???) for another book in the Kozy series. You can decide for yourself if the final cover is any less soul-chilling:

I know. Tough call, right?

Page 123~ (of Ski Gigolo, just to be clear)

[I'm literally laughing as I open the book, before I've even read a word...]

He had just begun to feel the tactile pleasure of touching her.

Later, he would enjoy the ocular pleasure of looking at her.

But wait, there's more:

Kurtz forgot about the noises outside. The touch of Dorothy was too distracting, the pleasure too intense at being able to touch the pelvic region and feel the firmness of her skin respond with an involuntary twitch. 

Somehow this all seems like it goes better with the doctor-clown cover. "It's time for Dr. Laffs to touch your pelvic region until your skin twitches involuntarily. Baby."

~RP

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Paperback 616: Cop / Jack Karney (Pocket Books 898)

Paperback 616: Pocket Books 898 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Cop
Author: Jack Karney
Cover artist: Stanley Zuckerberg

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• I love this cover so much it hurts. Where to begin? 
• The framing! They're apart, but together, but apart, but ... and such a contrast in tone. Male/female. Calm/kinetic. White/pink. Dressed/undressed. Professional/domestic. On and on. And on. And their expressions! Revealing but enigmatic. Is he here to arrest her? Sleep with her? Both? And how does she feel about that? Excited? Headachey? Feels like there's a thousand pages of subtext in this one shot.
• The pink! Such a bold color choice, and the last color you'd expect to have "COP" written over the top of it. 
• The title! Bold, simple, and apparently, by its slight angle, printed on the surface of the door ...
• The detail! The careful positioning of his hand, the texture of the metal fixtures on the door, the stockings, the cigarette. A thousand points of awesome.
• Total lack of blurb / cover copy. Exactly the right choice for this cover. I'll supply my own overheated blurb, thanks.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Get wise!" I love how this book talks. Stop making me love you so much, "Cop"!
• OMG, the back cover is talking not to me, but to Joe! And I'm just eavesdropping, I guess.
• The problem of Joe's "conscience" says a lot about that front cover—shake her down? Take her to bed? Walk away? Does it matter? 

Page 123~

For the next five minutes the cab driver told Joe what he thought of cops in general, citing cases to prove his point that the hackie and the policeman were natural enemies. When he finished, he said, 

"I can smell a cop a mile off. Fact, I just look at a guy and can tell how he makes a buck. You look like a lawyer."

Swing and a miss, hackie!

~RP

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Paperback 615: Death Is My Comrade / Stephen Marlowe (Gold Medal 986)

Paperback 615: Gold Medal 986 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Death Is My Comrade
Author: Stephen Marlowe
Cover artist: Uncredited (Barye Phillips?)

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "You must be this tall to ride this comrade."
• Mad Maxine in "Beyond Oniondome"!
• Not a fan of Gold Medal's late-50s/early-60s "Don't-Finish-The-Painiting" phase.

Best things about this back cover:

• Generic Detective Head Shot!
• "Tune in" — ha ha. It thinks it's TV.
• Hmmm, I'm no Chet Drum, but 'Rodzianko' and 'Rodin' sound awfully similar.
• Ooh, ripe *and* luscious *AND* underage! Just like Chet likes 'em.

Page 123~

Gone was the hail-fellow-well-met attitude, gone the booming voice. The big, shaggy man slouched slowly and wearily across the room. I gave him a cigarette. His big hand shook as he cupped the flame I offered. "For some of us dialectic reasoning makes the difference," he said. 

Silly commies, no longer hailing your well-met fellows. Chet Drum scoffs at you!

~RP

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