Friday, April 15, 2011

Paperback 403: The Sex Cure / Elaine Dorian (Beacon B535F)

Paperback 403: Beacon B535F (PBO, 1962)

Title: The Sex Cure
Author: Elaine Dorian
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: SOLD!


Best things about this cover:
  • "We need the painting now." "But ... it's not finished yet. I've only just sketched the couch." "Fuck it. No time. Color the couch and the entire background with purple crayon. That'll have to do."
  • Dr. Justin Riley's OCD compelled him to check all his patients for Ring Around the Collar.
  • This embrace is so awkward that I'm forced to wonder if he is embracing a warm and willing patient or helping J.C. Penney relocate some of their mannequins.
  • "Darling ... your shirt tastes wonderful."
  • Love the stethoscope. Just in case you thought it was some random guy in a smoking jacket.
  • Really wish the first tagline had an ellipsis or colon, and then just two more words: "his dick!"


Best things about this back cover:
  • Man, that's more text than you'd think you'd need to sell this thing.
  • "Misty Powers," HA ha.
  • "You Will Be Shocked," "You May Be Angry"... They forgot "You May Be Strangely Aroused"
  • "You May Be Angry" ?? — "I can't believe this fictional character is doing bad things! How dare he!?"

Page 123~

"Nuts." The word exploded in his head and he gave up trying to sleep and reached for a cigarette.
OK, technically that's on page 122, but "'Nuts.' The word exploded in his head..." was too good for me to be a stickler. 122 ... close enough. I mean, I could also have gone with "Every woman I touch, he had said only scant hours ago, turns into a whore," and then asked "Wait ... how many hours?" But I stand by my choice.



Dave M said...

I thought the cure was "more cowbell."

Jamie Rosen said...

The lack of periods and the formatting of the text on the front made me read "...young Dr. Justin Riley had a favorite prescription: Elaine Dorian."

borky said...

Cover: "For the rich, beautiful women of the suburban set, young Dr. Justin Riley had a favourite prescription":

- he played them like human saxophones!

borky said...

True doctor story.

Years ago - in my twenties - I went the doctors' with a sore throat.

This huge black African guy told me to take my pants down to my surprise, so I started heading for the nearest screen, only in the next moment to suddenly find myself face down on his side of the desk, my kecks and underwear round my ankles, with his huge hands pumping away like mad at my right arse cheek.

After what seemed like an eternity of this - certainly several minutes - I said, "What the hell're y'doin'?"

He giggled something about not being able to find something and seemingly with the utmost glee started pumping away even harder, so much so I felt the need to grip the farside of the desk for dear life, only for the secretary to walk in on what must've appeared to her like a scene from a mixed race gay porno - to go by the look of horror on her face - with him crouched so low over me I could smell what he'd had for breakfast.

But instead of coming over to the desk with the next patient's details as she'd normally do, she flung them on the nearest surface and bolted like a horse from Broke Back Mountain.

Then the swine started playing darts with my arse, claiming the needle didn't go in properly and by the time he'd finished with me it was all I could do to walk straight.

When I went back a week later he leapt out his chair in delight to see me, but boy did he look disappointed when I told him this time I wanted tablets!

DemetriosX said...

The front cover really is just awkward. Nothing about her position seems natural, let alone comfortable. Her left hand doesn't seem to be in contact with the couch and she's hovering.

It's hard to tell in the scan, but is the publisher's logo as phallic as it appears to be? I'm sure it's intentional.

Finally, although it's cheesy as hell, I love "a doctor who violates his oath as casually as he violates a woman." But maybe that's because I just saw the meme with Picard and Wesley where the captain explains the difference between Dr. Crusher and the Prime Directive.