Title: Over My Dead Body
Author: Franklin Mayfair
Cover artist: some guy who sold paintings at swap meets in the early 70s
Yours for: $12
Best things about this cover:
- Well ... parts of it look finished. Specifically, the eastern part contains elements that one could reasonably call "people." As for the western half ... I think I see a topless dead chick. The rest is a blur. In mid-left section, it looks like the artist was going for bathtub, then changed his mind to tea cup, then just tried to scratch the whole thing out.
- Fans of puke green will be especially drawn to this cover.
- I actually love the expression on the guy's face: "Are you fucking kidding me, lady? You really think that's sexy? Put the flower back in the vase and get out of my office. Why can't you be more like that elegant lady with the white gloves that I sometimes dream of and who is possibly standing right behind us?"
Best things about this back cover:
- Hyphen party!
- "Pub—" = HA ha. "O man, what was he gonna say? Was it "Pubic?" "Pubic something?" Come on!"
- There appears to be punctuation missing somewhere near the end of that first pargraph. I think a period might be in order after "location" (love the scare quotes around "location" — like they're not convinced it's a real term).
Page 123~
"Not so strange," Pesek pontificated from the depths of a chair.
~RP
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]
14 comments:
I thought for sure "pub-" was for "publisher". C'mon, who else is to blame for this travesty???
Though the punctuation fail makes my head hurt, I can't help loving the phrase "best-loathed".
If I was drinking water, I would've done a spittake at "best-loathed".
* How do you "supersede" someone? Is there a pecking order where "dead stars" outrank "whiskey-soaks"?
* How about "sloughing off" a mistress ... was she dead skin?
* It's amusing that this "brilliantly colorful yarn" would have such an ugly, gross cover. Who should be fired ... the copy editor or the cover artist? I guess it depends on who did what first.
* Perhaps the title is a dare of defiance for the reader to actually find something interesting about this book?
A hyphen party, yes, but they missed the one that should have been in "has-been." (The first time I read it through, I kept thinking, he has been WHAT?)
However, I'm giving a bonus point for the use of "cuckolded" outside of Shakespeare, which helps make up for it.
"Can you have at least ONE part of the cover have a color on it that doesn't resemble cat vomit?"
"Fine, fine. On the back I'll use a bright-ass yellow with a nice clashing red text."
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http://coverjunkie.blogspot.com
I think that's Phil Hartman playing the whiskey-soaked mistress slougher on the cover....
Are you sure this book isn't a Western? That sure looks to me like a covered wagon in the middle left..
Ditto, Candida!
And yes, "pub-" is for "publishers", the naughty rascals.
Perhaps the mistress was nearly exfoliated to death, and took her revenge?
That lady white does NOT look happy about the rose in her mouth.
Was the author a shy man? I'm wondering what else could explain the fact that his name's in damn near six-point type.
I meant, the lady IN white, of course. Her lips may be smiling, but her eyes are pissed!
That's "mouth", surely. It's more a sort of strange blur of a surgical mask with a rose threaded saucily through the straps.
This blog is fantastic, by the way. I've said it before, but it bears repeating.
You know, people STILL sell paintings like that at the swapmeet. At least here in SoCal they do.
Maybe the OC never really left the 70s....
Shouldn't the police detective have said, "Moider!"?
Also, I think I've seen that dame with the white gloves before. Maybe from a Spiegel catalog (Chicago, six oh six oh nine), or a Simplicity dress design?
Tea Cup?
Bathtub?
Covered Wagon?
Or is it supposed to represent the barrel of a gun?
I'm more interested in the Mystery of What That Thing Is than I am in the Mystery of the Dead Best-Loathed Star in Hollywood.
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