Title: Devil Ray, Devil Woman
Author: Seymour Shubin
Cover artist: Uncredited
Yours for: not for sale (gift of Doug Peterson)
Best things about this cover:
- "Do you like my hair up, or ..." "Yeah yeah, sure, now are you gonna get naked or not?"
- OK, which is it? A Flaming Story or a Sophisticated, Dramatic Tale. I got no time for this wishy-washy in-between crap.
- "To Most" is my very favorite part of the cover copy. I mean, "in search of forbidden excitement" makes so much more sense, but any reasonably qualified copy writer could come up with that. It takes a true master of whatthefuckery to rephrase it so that we're left wondering not just what the excitement is, but for whom it is not "forbidden" but entirely licit.
- She has a nice figure. I'm just sayin'...
- I hope she's standing well away from the bed, bec. otherwise she is a giant or that smoking (!) hot guy is criminally diminutive.
- That's one slab of a bed.
- Worst title! "The woman, she is a like a Devil Ray, in that she is devilish, and ... Devil Ray has the word "devil" in it, so ..." Imagination!
Best things about this back cover:
- Ugh. It's a text bloodbath back here.
- So this is an ordinary soft-core sex novel, with stock footage from a Jacques Cousteau special? I can't wait.
Page 123~
"Sure no one a beer?" and now Tony was in the doorway.
I swear to you that I have typed that exactly as written, character for character.
~RP
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]
PS I *thought* I'd seen this cover somewhere before. Well, I hadn't, but here's something close: Paperback 63, Variation on a Theme:
10 comments:
This one is a real howler. "where riches and rapacity run riot," "boy-wonder tycoon," "brilliant man-about-town," "the strangely powerful Tony." Plus, "your blood will flow with excitement." I can't wait!
I just love that the ray is such an afterthought: "Plus, I guess there's some adventures with a manta ray, whatever the hell that is... Seriously, is that even a real thing?"
Maybe they were just at pains to make it clear the creature isn't involved in the more libidinous passages.
"Sure no one a beer?" and now Tony was in the doorway. Is this some kind of bad translation, bad editting, or possibly just poorly written dialogue?
The other cover is all kinds of hot, whereas this one...not so much. (And what the hell is with that "A" that strays onto cover chick's arm?)
And I love the alliteration in the back cover blurb: "where riches and rapacity run riot...and rays reappear regardless of reason!"
And I am reasonably certain that the most dangerous of all sea creatures is not the "devil ray", although I suppose Great White Shark, Great White Woman or Tiny Blue Ring Octopus, Tiny Blue Ring Woman would imply rather different novels.
That's the dingiest looking luxury yacht I've ever seen. Hot Chick seems unconcerned that the mould covering the bulkhead appears to be leaching across onto Disdain Guy's pants.
On re-reading the final back blurb, I find I'm a bit confused -- if one is having adventures with the manta ray, is one also "sharing" the dangers with it? It certainly makes the ray seem less like a evil sea creature and more like a hearty pal.
How can you not love "...where riches and rapacity run riot"?
ALLITERATION!
Looks like this guy recently (2006!) wrote a book for Cold Case Crime:
Witness to Myself
If you're going to write this stuff, at least change your pen name to Seymour Schtuppin
When you note the peculiar athletic heftiness of the legs of the cover 'female', the hint of a six pack around 'her' abdomen, and the strangely masculine angularity of 'her' arse, (not to mention the strategic placement of 'her' suspender belt over 'her' groin and 'her' hair over 'her' face and/or jawline), the cover blurb 'She Looked Like A Lady...But Her Lovers Knew Better!' takes on a whole new meaning.
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