Title: Depart This Life
Author: E. X. Ferrars
Cover artist: some guy whose girlfriend/model was Seriously tripping
Yours for: $7
Best things about this cover:
- If I were being attacked by miniature crows that explode into fireballs upon impact, I'm pretty sure I'd be making that face too.
- It's as if she's gazing in disbelief at the title: "'Who would name a book something so stupid?' she asked, as miniature crows continued to dive-bomb her face and torso..."
Best things about this back cover:
- Oh right, this guy—world's worst logo. Is the artist literally trying to spell out "CRIME" with this "guy's" body parts?
- "Master of well-mannered terror" = "master of polite violence" or "prudish hot chicks," i.e. what?
- If your book has a character named Hilda Gazeley, there is a 90% chance you are thinking too hard about your character names.
Page 123~
She paused to draw a rasping breath. She was in a state of terror.
Did you seriously just tell me that "She was in a state of terror?" How sucky are you as a writer that you cannot convey this to me through her speech, actions, etc.? Just reading this page is a reminder why I don't read "well-mannered" anything. It's all characters talking in preposterous exposition.
~RP
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]
6 comments:
Important safety tip for back-cover designers: leave enough line-spacing when you underline, or else your text will end up "taultless".
And is that cover chick part Shar Pei? Just look at the depth of those wrinkles!
My first thought when I saw the cover was "Great scott! She's at a screening of Jonathan Livingston Seagull!
When I first read this, I thought "miniature crows" was "miniature cows". Maybe that would have been a better cover.
Yup, that logo does literally spell out "CRIME". I couldn't find the M for a while, until I realised it's his arm. (C and R are his head, his body is I and his legs make an E)
Apparently she took a mini-crow to the ear. "E.X. Ferrars", really?
'Depart This Life'.
...nearly as good as 'Murder By Death'.
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