Friday, June 6, 2008

Paperback 109: A Hard Day's Knight / Ted Mark (Lancer 73-508)

Paperback 109: Lancer 73-508 (PBO, 1966)

Title: A Hard Day's Knight (The New Man from O.R.G.Y. #9)
Author: Ted Mark
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $11

Best things about this cover:
  • Hey Ladies, he's Back! See Steve Victor wipe nervous (but manly) sweat from his neck in "A Hard Day's Knight" - get it? 'Cause he's kinda like a "knight" (if you take a lot of drugs and then squint real hard) ... and then maybe if we make people think of the Beatles he will seem more attractive.
  • Nothing turns me on like a housecoat, granny panties, and molded plastic hair of an indeterminate dirt color.
  • Not sure what he's planning to do with that gun, but the placement makes me nervous.
  • #9 ... is my favorite number. For real.

Best things about this back cover:

  • Space Race!
  • You had me at "wife-swapping"
  • Why will I still be asking "Who is Ted Mark?" even after I've "read his books?"
  • "Hip readers are asking 'Who is Ted Mark?" - the rest of us are asking the more pertinent question: "WHY is Ted Mark?"

Page 123~

[brace yourself - last time I quoted from a Ted Mark book, there was "edible root" involved]

Page 123 just doesn't cut it, so here's Page 108:

Her young breasts pointed up at me like two scarlet-beaked doves eager to be fed. Leonard was fumbling at her hips with the buttons of her shorts. His jeans were already down around his ankles. His adolescent lust was a murderous spear catching the moonlight. I revised my opinion as to his lack of maturity. Intellectually I might have been right, but physically he was a grown man-and-a-half.

Oh ... my. "Murderous spear." Still, it's better than "edible root."



Anonymous said...

Oh, hell, you'd sweat, too, if your grandma was coming on to you.

libwitch said...

scarlet beaked? I suspect she needs to see a doctor about those. Sounds like a rash...

Anonymous said...

i can't believe that you didn't mention "The New Man From O.R.G.Y". Genius.

Snow said...

Oh my! Such turgid prose.

Anonymous said...

He threw the US patent office in a lake? I guess that *is* pretty mad.