Paperback 119: The Erection Set / Mickey Spillane (Signet Y5120)

Paperback 119: Signet Y5120 (1st ptg, 1972)

Title: The Erection Set
Author: Mickey Spillane
Cover artist: Picasso

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• Is that extended leg supposed to simulate an erection or stimulate one? In either case: [shudder]
• If you ever doubted the phallic qualities of a gun, behold this cover. Of course, before this cover, I doubted the phallic qualities of a left leg. This cover's full of learning opportunities.
• Be honest: was there ever a time when that hairdo (bottle blond, unkempt yet sculpted, etc.) was attractive? I was three when this book came out, so I'm not a good judge.
  
• She is aggressively tan
• Remember when women with medium-to-smallish breasts could get shirt-removal work?

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hey, has anyone seen my artificial leg?"
• "Dogeron!!" - setting up the inevitable catchprase: "That doggone Dogeron done gone and done it again!"

Page 123~

My teeth were showing when I said, "You can always change your mind, pal. Like starting right now. I'll take all three of you out and be gone before the noise dies down."

~RP

Paperback 118: The Ravagers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1452)

Paperback 118: Gold Medal k1452 (PBO, 1964)
Title: The Ravagers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: John McDermott (thanks to George Freeman for the artist credit)

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Finally, the untold story of how the Scooby-Doo gang broke up - here, Velma tries to protect and console Daphne while Fred fends off a drug-addled Shaggy, who is despondent and irate about the fact that Fred had Scooby put down.
• The Matt Helm series was very popular, and Dean Martin played Helm on screen. I've never read Hamilton, but I'm starting to think it might be worth the effort. I always associate him with John D. MacDonald, largely because the Travis McGee and Matt Helm series were both published by Gold Medal throughout the 60s.

Best things about this back cover:

• That's the egg-headiest author pic ever.
• Code Name: Eric - exotic!
• "... lying dead in a Canadian motel room" - about the most undignified place you could possibly die. Bad enough to have your face eaten away by acid, but in a Canadian motel? That's just over-the-top.

Page 123~

She smiled up at me approvingly. "What a suspicious tall man it is! Don't worry, darling. We're going to have a swell time together. We'll have a million kicks, a million laughs. Hand me that shirt, will you?"

~RP

Paperback 117: Bodies and Souls / ed. Dann Herr & Joel Wells (Dell 0656)

Paperback 117: Dell 0656 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: Bodies and Souls
Editors: Dann Herr & Joel Wells
Cover artist: Teason

Yours for: SOLD 9/18/10


Best things about this cover:

• Finally, a paperback that deals seriously with the lingering problem of the Manichean Heresy.
  
• "Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, [Willard / Ben / Templeton / other rat name you can think of]"
• Hmmm ... uh ... I guess this cover's got a rat. And a skull. And a candle. Those elements hold a certain visual interest.
• If you like brown, this is the book for you.
• This book is another good example of why paperback design starts sucking some time around 1960. Art becomes more like stock footage. Text starts dominating the cover in un-thought out and ugly ways. Quit shilling for the "Doubleday Crime Club" and give me the beautiful cover art I deserve! 50 cents for a paperback?! What am I, a Rockefeller?

Best things about this back cover:

• When I want an authoritative literary opinion, I always turn to [squints to read fine print] the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer!
• This reviewer is sadly and humorously unaware that "catholic" in fact means "universal." I know the reviewer meant "Catholic" in religious terms ... but precision of word choice matters, even if you do only work for the Columbus Daily Muffin.

Page 123~

from "The Finger of Stone" by G.K. Chesterton

"Have you heard the news I say," rapped out the doctor. "Boyg is dead."

Gale stopped in a sentence about Gothic architecture, and said seriously, with a sort of hazy reverence:

"Requiescat in pace. Who was Boyg?"

~RP

Paperback 116: The Dain Curse / Dashiell Hammett (Pocket Books 295)

Paperback 116: Pocket Books 295 (1st ptg, 1945)

Title: The Dain Curse
Author: Dashiell Hammett
Cover artist: sadly, uncredited

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "Demons, I cast thee out!"
• Where did her pupils go?
• This is the rare "beheading" cover (I'm kidding - though her head does look like it was photo-shopped, badly, onto her torso)
• I think her head has snapped back in revulsion from her assailant's fetid odor. That may explain the disappearing pupils as well.
• I do like how he knocks her head so hard it goes out of frame.

Best things about this back cover:

• "... and you're cursed with your mother's blood on your hands in babyhood" - aside from being enigmatic and disturbing ... "Babyhood?" Is that a word? Sounds like a good title for a talking babies movie starring at least one of the Wayans Brothers and, oh, let's say Ice Cube. It'll be like "Baby Geniuses," only ... blacker.
• This may be the first book I've posted to feature the wartime exhortation to the reader to mail the book to a serviceman overseas. Very cool historical marking.

Page 123~

It was postmarked San Francisco, nine o'clock Saturday morning. Inside was a soiled and crookedly torn piece of brown wrapping paper, with one sentence - as poorly printed with pencil as the address - on it: "Any body that wants Mrs. Carter can have same by paying $10000-----" There was no date, no salutation, no signature.

~RP

Paperback 115: 'K' / Leslie Waller (Gold Medal k1319)

Paperback 115: Gold Medal k1319 (PBO, 1963)
Title: 'K'
Author: Leslie Waller
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $15


Best things about this cover:

• The "K", obviously - my favorite letter of the alphabet, by far.
  
• Easily the shortest title in my collection
• They've made Khrushchev look gregarious, drunk, lecherous, all at once. It's a nasty combo.
  
• I do not believe anyone would get up from a chair and leave it in exactly that condition
• The rifle appears to be floating. At that angle it couldn't possibly be propped up by the chair arm.
• Is that "K" supposed to look ... Sovietish? It's certainly Red.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Yes, hello! It's me, Nikita! I am watching you, you naughty minx..."
• In case you forgot that Khrushchev is communist, they have made him red to remind you.
• There's a fine art to near-murder now?
• Are those circles supposed to be bullet holes? Views through a rifle scope? Pips on a defective domino?

Page 123~

Lying at his feet, Ryder saw one meaty finger whiten at the knuckle as Ponamarenko started to squeeze the trigger.

I think that sentence opens with a misplaced modifier. Sounds like Ryder is lying at some other guy's feet, when I think the meaty finger is actually lying at Ryder's feet. These are the kinds of things I spend my life obsessing over. It's sad, really.

~RP

Paperback 114: The Case of the Cautious Coquette / Erle Stanley Gardner (Cardinal C-332)

Paperback 114: Cardinal C-332 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: The Case of the Cautious Coquette
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: John Fernie

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• Georgia's audition for the "New Avengers" ended very, very badly.
• I'm no fashion expert, but I'm pretty sure a pink cape does not go with a strapless orange jumpsuit. Not that I don't admire her courage.

Q: What is she doing with her left arm?

• a. trying to clear the frog from her throat
• b. doing the first part of a Sammy Sosa-style salute to her fans (peace sign to follow)
• c. wiping blood from her chin
• d. preparing to throw an elbow at the small man standing behind her whom we cannot see
• e. doing her post-murder celebration dance

Best things about this back cover:

• First paragraph = How to cop a feel, Perry Mason-style! "I'm looking for a gun!" Man, I gotta use that one.
• After so much exposure to it, I now feel that Erle Stanley Gardner's signature is trying to send me some kind of secret message...
• Check out the ad for another book - exploitation of the advertising potential of the back cover is a late development, and would be unwelcome if it didn't give me a great window on the literary context of the time. Plus ... miniature cheese/beefcake!

Page 123~

"But all this isn't going to do you any good," Drake said irritably. "You're simply crucifying yourself. Figure what the papers will do when they - why, hang it, Perry, it will put your neck right in a noose. Evidence of flight is evidence of guilt."

~RP

Paperback 113: The Case of the Half-Wakened Wife / Erle Stanley Gardner (Cardinal C-283)

Paperback 113: Cardinal C-283 (3rd ptg, 1958)

Title: The Case of the Half-Wakened Wife
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: Mitchell Hooks

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• Truly incredible design. Most of these Cardinal reprints are dreadfully boring, but this one is gorgeous - subtle, yet eye-grabbing. I swear to you that until this very second, when I scanned the cover (and thus blew it up to an abnormally large size), I did not notice the silhouette of the man in the fedora inside those slashing black lines. Very nice effect.
• "Half-Wakened Wife" really really wants to be "Half-Naked Wife" every time I look at it.
• I know that when *I* am half-wakened, I can't help but reach blindly for my revolver. It's just normal human instinct.

Best things about this back cover:

• "Chiseler" is one of the all-time great words in the crime lexicon.
• "This is a Genuine Cardinal Edition" - I'm trying to imagine all the bootleg and rip-off versions out there: Oriole? Cardinale? Sorny?
• Gardner's signature remains certifiably insane.

Page 123~

Ellen Cushing once more raised her voice. "I guess you've got to come out, Mother."

~RP

Paperback 112: Un-Man and Other Novellas (Poul Anderson) / The Makeshift Rocket (Poul Anderson) (Ace Double F-139)

Paperback 112: Ace Double F-139 (PBO / PBO, 1962)

Title: Un-Man and Other Novellas / The Makeshift Rocket
Author: Poul Anderson / Poul Anderson
Cover artist: Uncredited / Uncredited

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "This is a sad day indeed for Mexican space wrestling..."
• This painting is actually beautiful and haunting, while also being silly - a combination that goes right to the heart of why I collect these damned things
• I like the combination of genres - it's like scifi, western, and war story all wrapped into one (check out the dog tags hanging from the helmet of his presumably fallen comrade)
• "He could be stilled etc.": More proof that tag-line writers in the 1960s were completely and utterly high

Page 123~

"Ha ha!" bellowed van Rijn. "We spill all their apples, eh? By damn! Now we show them some fun!"

Best things about this cover:

• "Hey, has anyone seen grampa?"
• I can only hope that in the future, that style of mustache does indeed make a flaming comeback
• Um ... there is a pipe-smoking green goblin in that crate. I'm just sayin'...

Page 123~

This book has only 97 pages! So ... Page 23!

As for the longer-range scheme - oh yes, the plan. Well, like most terra-formed asteroids, Grendel had only a minimal gyrogravitic unit, powerful enough to give it a 24-hour rotational period (originally the little world had spun around once in three hours, which played the very devil with tea time) and an atmosphere retaining surface field of 980 cm./sec.².

~RP

Paperback 111: Stars in My Crown / Joe David Brown (Teen Age Book Club T45)

Paperback 111: Teen Age Book Club T45 (1st ptg, 1956)

Title: Stars in My Crown
Author: Joe David Brown
Cover artist: Gould K. Hulse, Jr. (I think ... he's credited with the "decorations" on the inside)

Yours for: $7


Best things about this cover:

• "I'm your new preacher and I aim to give my first sermon right here ... even if I am jaundiced and half-drunk. Or drunk and half-jaundiced. Or dronk and half-jundiced. Point is, I got me a 12-pound Bible and this here gun, so what I says goes. Now if I can just traverse this comically high door frame..." "That's a window, you moron!" "In the name of Jesus, you better shut up!"
• Seriously, who taught this artist perspective? A five-year-old surrealist with bad eyes?
• The colors are so ... life-like. If your life exists only in primary colors and whatever color that guy in the corner is.
• Our hero looks like a sickly, less charismatic Robert Mitchum.
• What is that thing protruding from the chin of the man in the SW corner? A growth? A pouch of some kind? I want to say "beard" but ... it's got oddly regularly molded ridges on the end...

Best things about this back cover:

• "Grandpa"
• Why isn't this book called "Death Stalks the Parish" - it's a bit Agatha Christie, but it's a hell of a lot better than the current title
• Teen Age Book Club: For Teen Agers who are too emaciated to read standing upright.

Page 123~

"They didn't have no lamps when Ah went to school," he said, "an' Ah reckon what was good enough for me is good enough for the chil'lun [... sic!] nowadays."

~RP

Paperback 110: The Case of the Dubious Bridegroom / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 976)

Paperback 110: Pocket Books 976 (1st ptg, 1953)

Title: The Case of the Dubious Bridegroom
Author: Erle Stanley Garnder
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• "My name is Gloria. I live in this book. Now get the @#$# off my doorstep, you mug!"
• "Ooh, I hate the word 'dubious.' I'm just gonna step on it ... take that, 'dubious!'"
• The hair, boobs, and attitude say 'gun moll,' but the belt says 'World Welterweight Champion!"
• Erle Stanley Gardner has the signature of a megalomaniacal mental patient.

Best things about this back cover:

• Next time I punch someone in the face, I am going to proclaim loudly, "You, sir, have received the mitten. Good day!"

Page 123~

"Rex," Hackley said, "stay there. These people are leaving."
The dog, now much more obedient and less hostile, promptly settled down on his haunches, and looked to Hackley for instructions.

~RP

Paperback 109: A Hard Day's Knight / Ted Mark (Lancer 73-508)

Paperback 109: Lancer 73-508 (PBO, 1966)

Title: A Hard Day's Knight (The New Man from O.R.G.Y. #9)
Author: Ted Mark
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• Hey Ladies, he's Back! See Steve Victor wipe nervous (but manly) sweat from his neck in "A Hard Day's Knight" - get it? 'Cause he's kinda like a "knight" (if you take a lot of drugs and then squint real hard) ... and then maybe if we make people think of the Beatles he will seem more attractive.
• Nothing turns me on like a housecoat, granny panties, and molded plastic hair of an indeterminate dirt color.
• Not sure what he's planning to do with that gun, but the placement makes me nervous.
• #9 ... is my favorite number. For real.

Best things about this back cover:

• Space Race!
• You had me at "wife-swapping"
• Why will I still be asking "Who is Ted Mark?" even after I've "read his books?"
• "Hip readers are asking 'Who is Ted Mark?" - the rest of us are asking the more pertinent question: "WHY is Ted Mark?"

Page 123~

[brace yourself - last time I quoted from a Ted Mark book, there was "edible root" involved]

Page 123 just doesn't cut it, so here's Page 108:

Her young breasts pointed up at me like two scarlet-beaked doves eager to be fed. Leonard was fumbling at her hips with the buttons of her shorts. His jeans were already down around his ankles. His adolescent lust was a murderous spear catching the moonlight. I revised my opinion as to his lack of maturity. Intellectually I might have been right, but physically he was a grown man-and-a-half.

Oh ... my. "Murderous spear." Still, it's better than "edible root."

~RP

Paperback 108: Tobacco Road / Erskine Caldwell (Signet CW 985)

Paperback 108: Signet CW 985 (43rd ptg, I think, ca. 1970)

Title: Tobacco Road
Author: Erskine Caldwell
Cover artist: somebody Baxter

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• It would be very sexy ... you know, if someone hadn't blown the right side of her face clean off. Really ruins the mood.
• There is something Klimt-y about the shapes and floral patterns in and around her ... dress. I guess that's a dress.
• This book is in near perfect condition. Feels unread, though if I hold it up to the light I can see the very faintest reading crease. Still, it's about as square and tight and shiny as a read book gets.
• Tobacco Road is paperback legend. This is the 43rd printing. It sold tons. A certain rural sexual frankness made this book good fodder for at least two generations of cover artists. I'm just really glad this "Baxter" guy signed, and dated, his cover painting, because Signet is crap for giving artists credit (or for dating their reprint editions clearly).
  

Page 123~

Dude said he was hungry, and that he wanted to go somewhere and eat. Sister Bessie had half a dollar; Jeeter had nothing. Dude, of course, had nothing.

~RP

Paperback 107: Love in a Goldfish Bowl / Jack Sher (Cardinal C-409)

Paperback 107: Cardinal C-409 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Love in a Goldfish Bowl
Author: Jack Sher
Cover artist: one very confused photographer

Yours for: $8


Best things about this cover:

• The dog. By far, the dog. The dog is looking to us for help.
• This cover would actually be beautiful if you just replaced the photo with ... well, anything. Title font design is gorgeous.
  
• I know a Jack Sher. Hey, Jack, you wrote a book ... many years before you were born. Congratulations. [my friend's real name is Jack Shear, so this is funny only to me and possibly him]
  
• This photo = rejected Alpo campaign still #178
• What ... I ... just what the hell is supposed to be happening here? Why is she ... what is that ... what's in the ... why are they ...?
• "Gee, Blythe, where'd ya get the giant snail, and why are you keepin' him in a goldfish bowl on your belly out here on the beach?"
• This cover is the reason words like "camp," "queer," and "ambiguously gay duo" were invented.

Best things about this back cover:

• "SNAFuglugluglug..."
• SNAFU = Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. A most apt description of the front cover.
• How come nobody's named "Gordon" any more?
• The last two paragraphs are so ambiguous that they allow me to imagine that the people pictured end up addicted to heroin and turning tricks ... in Balboa.
• "It was the bending end" - that's what she said!

Page 123~

"Gordon, where are you going?" my foolish, fuzzy mother asked.

"I think I'll sleep on my boat," I said.

"You'll do nothing of the kind!" she said.

So there I was, stuck with Holloway for the night.

~RP

Paperback 106: A Dangerous Woman / James T. Farrell (Panther 954)

Paperback 106: Panther 954 (1st ptg, 1959)

Title: A Dangerous Woman
Author: James T. Farrell
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: SOLD (6/2/08)


Best things about this cover:

• This is more like a woman auditioning for a paperback cover than an actual cover painting. "You want me to [not] wear what?"
• "... her obsession for men became a desire to repel them" - Mission Accomplished.
• 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Five bangles on her right wrist. Yes, that's a record for a paperback cover. Congratulations, boring, overly-clothed lady. You can collect your $10 Target gift certificate on your way out the door. Buh-bye.
• "Dangerous" extends directly out from her crotch. Nice.

Best things about this back cover:

• This blurb writer is from the "Adverb adjective, adverb adjective, adverb adjective, and adverb adverb adjective..." school of blurb writing.
• Why don't writers cover "the human scene" any more?
• That Panther is far too sedate to be a good logo. It should really be killing something, or at least roaring.

Page 123~

I never knew what anarchism was except that I'm against it and it's radical, but I never knew what an anarchist was. Now I know. An anarchist is a Frenchman driving an automobile in gay Paree.

~RP

Paperback 105: The Ipcress File / Len Deighton (Panther 026193)

Paperback 105: Panther 026193 (14th or so ptg, circa 1971)

Title: The Ipcress File
Author: Len Deighton
Cover artist: Photo cover

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Simplicity - B&W still photo that is the epitome of mid-century hard-boiled cool. Espresso vs. Smith & Wesson - Paper Clips vs. Bullets. Such great, simple balancing of iconic images. Gives you a sense of the Where and What and even the Who of the story before you've even opened the book. Details are incredibly precise. You can even read the "Gauloise" on the cigarette and the "Wesson" on the barrel of the gun. This book is from outside my collecting window (i.e. post-1969), but when I saw it at my local University book sale, I had to have it. If I ever publish a book, I want it to look like this, no matter what it's about.
• LEN Deighton is a frequent crossword puzzle answer
• The paper clips are somehow charming the hell out of me

Best things about this back cover:

• Stamp!
• A near complete lack of punctuation, including standard blurb quotation marks. No exclamation points, commas ... figure it out for yourself, reader!
• Quaint passive voice construction in the last sentence. So British (Panther is a British imprint, in case you didn't know)

PAGE 123~

Wriggling away from the legs of the tower, black smooth cables and corrugated pipelines rested along each other like a Chinese apothecary's box of snakes.

~RP