Title: Campus Kittens
Author: Joan Ellis
Cover artist: Paul Rader
Best things about this cover:
- The scintillating story of a buxom young redhead, her gravity-defying towel (or her extremely adhesive nipples), and her collection of remarkably life-like store mannequins.
- Seriously, there's no way that blonde is a living breathing human being.
- Shouldn't it be an "unblushing exposé"?—if it's blushing, then it's gonna be all coy and its sex scenes are going to be all vague and elliptical and annoying. "Blushing" is not "frank," is what I'm saying.
- "Our once-respectable collegiate sorority houses," ha ha. "In my day, we spent our days performing community service and singing songs that expressed pride in our alma mater. Nowadays, it's all cunnilingus this and cunnilingus that!"
Best things about this back cover:
- Spiteful sexual sprees are the best kind!
- What is the "worst possible moment" to be caught in a motel with a married man? You'd think any moment would be pretty bad.
- "Elementary education at the hands of her roommate" made me laugh. Yes, hands are elementary. Later, you might move on to tongue. Only the truly talented graduate to vagina. Hence Andrea's need for personal tutoring.
"Same place, you sexy little wench," he crooned . "If you're still willing to go out with a decrepit old character like me." 
"Oh stop it," she laughed. Owen was one of the handsomest men she had ever encountered, and no older than a lot of movie stars . "You'll make me bring along a pair of crutches if you keep up that talk." 
-  If you are trying to get laid, I suggest that you not croon anything, let alone that particular line.
-  This guy is like a bottomless pit of bad come-on lines.
-  This is an odd benchmark: "Why, you're no older than Edward G. Robinson or Joseph Cotten." "I'm only 41." "Shhh, I'm pretending our relationship is normal ..."
-  Why, so you can reenact scenes from "Double Indemnity?" I think you mean "wheelchair." He said "decrepit" and "old," not "suffering from a sprained ankle."
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]