Title: The Up-Tight Blonde
Author: Carter Brown
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis
Yours for: $9
Best things about this cover:
- The phrase "naked chicks"
- The McGinnis girl in the painting; the one holding the painting, on the other hand, is a hot mess and / or a transsexual.
- What has she got in her left hand? Some kind of orb or yo-yo? Is she trying to hypnotize me? That orb, coupled with the expression on her face, is freaking me out.
- I don't know what you call the "color" of this book, but it's Hideous. I think I'm going to name it "cheap luggage" or "walrus"
Best things about this back cover:
- Oh yes, the girl from the painting looks much better in stark isolation like this.
- The back cover copy goes from making every naked reference and pun in the book until finally devolving into a ... Monopoly metaphor?
- "A new kind of flesh game" - remind me - What was the old kind?
- Is that what they call "negative space?" All that ... emptiness in the top half of this cover? Bold aesthetic choice. Or else the printer just wasn't centered. Who knows?
Her eyes rolled listlessly as she turned away. I backhanded her against the nearest side of her face, and her head jerked upright again.
Thus answering the question: What do you do with a blonde who's UP-TIGHT? (A: You smack her in the face so that her head jerks UPRIGHT). Read all about it in "Al Wheeler's Man's Man's Guide to Manhandling Naked Chicks."