Paperback 123: Johnny Havoc and the Doll Who Had "It" / John Jakes (Belmont 90-289)

Paperback 123: Belmont 90-289 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Johnny Havoc and the Girl Who Had "It"
Author: John Jakes
Cover artist: photo cover

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• If by "It" you mean "pointy left boob" or "bosomy sweater-filling capability," then yes, she has "It."
• I would love it if the "It" in this title was actually just the stupid cigarette
• I Love this dame: "Yeah, I got "It" - what's it to ya?!"
• Great cover copy - parodying this cigarette advertising campaign:

and



Best things about this back cover:

• There are some days when it's Really hard to improve on the paperback's own inherent funniness. Today is one of those days.
• I love the idea of having your P.I.'s shtick be ... that he's short.
• INA Young has a name built for crosswords (among other things, I'm sure)
• "Wednesday Wilde" is a great play on Sex Kitten Tuesday Weld (who was in my favorite movie that no one saw - "Serial" - as well as on the cover of one of my favorite albums of the 90s - Matthew Sweet's "Girlfriend")

Page 123~

"Hey, Moe, you all right?" I touched his shoulder.
One fat tear trickled down his cheek. "I shoulda been a pawnbroker, Claudio."
My God, don't start bawling."
"It's Finishville. For all of us."

~RP

Paperback 122: The Professor and the Co-Ed / Babette Hall (Belmont 90-280)

Paperback 122: Belmont 90-280 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: The Professor and the Co-Ed
Author: Babette Hall
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• This guy must have gotten his Ph.D. in Gigantic Chalkboardery
• "How do you like my perky breasts, professor?" / "I'd like them a whole lot better if you'd actually point them in this direction, you idiot."
• "My hands can do the splits" / "Uh, yes, that's very nice. Get out."
• Seriously, that guy looks way more annoyed than he does excited.
• Sometimes I write autobiographical stuff under the name "Babette Hall" ...

Best things about this back cover:

• I love blurbs that are descriptive rather than qualitative. So thank you ... Marc Connelly, whoever you are.
• I don't think I can do anything to add to the hilarity of Professor Shaw's revealing, sadistic diatribe.
• "Top critics have hailed this novel, and millions of readers agree..." - agree that WHAT!? Hailed it as WHAT? Way to avoid the whole "quality" issue.
• That Ladies' Home Journal blurb ... I've never seen anything like it. It's not related to anything. It's a complete non sequitur designed only to take up space, as far as I can tell.

Page 123~

I'm trying to make sense of Any of the sentences on this page, and I'm failing. I can barely make grammatical sense of them. Let's try this:

On the other hand I suspected there was something false in my philosophy because Phineas Todd wanted more than any of us, and accused the other Goat-singers of being satisfied with crumbs. It was all very confusing. I hoped to find the answer in Hollywood

and this:

But Seattle in my affections wasn't any larger than the pink bauble, not as large actually, being more remote.

~RP

Paperback 121: Bucks County Report / Irwin Wallach (Tower 43-690)

Paperback 121: Tower 43-690 (1st ptg, 1966)
Title: Bucks County Report
Author: Irwin Wallach
Cover artist: uncredited

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• "Frankly, Scarlett, this mattress is lumpy"
• For such a hot topic (sex in suburbia) this is a terribly tedious cover. If it weren't for the tepid embrace there on the bed, it would look like a government report of some kind. "Bucks County Report: The Roads Have Been Repaved" ["Yay!"]
• The publication of the Kinsey reports on male and female sexuality in the late 40s and early 50s created a public discourse on sexuality that (ironically?) gave license to sex fiction publishers to promote their work with cover copy appealing to people's alleged scientific / civic interest in the subject. Peyton Place + Kinsey Report => books like this one.

Best things about this back cover:

• Awesome dated vocabulary: "jerkwater"! "squaresville"!
• "... then along came Wilson" - I knew that guy was a perv

Page 123~

Bucks County parties were the easiest for Sam because he did not have to participate beyond having his body in attendance and a glass in his hand. But this particular party held a strangeness for him.

~RP

Paperback 120: While Murder Waits / Bruce Cassiday (Graphic 145)

Paperback 120: Graphic 145 (PBO, 1957)

Title: While Murder Waits
Author: Bruce Cassiday
Cover artist: Al Puhn (that's a painting!?!?!)

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:

• Alternative titles:
  
• "Saran-Wrapped for Murder!"
• "Shrink-Wrapped for Murder!"
• "Harlot Under Plastic!"
• "I Spent My Prom in the Shower"
• "I'm this many years old!"

Best things about this back cover:

• OMG, yes. Please please please can we call it a slay!?
• It began like a game of what?
• "Cash Madigan!" - awesome name, but how much of a tough guy can he be if he has to struggle to fight his way out of some dame's arms?
• "Some like 'em dying!" - god I love this cover copy writer. That phrase isn't even remotely close to an actual phrase. "What rhymes with 'Hot?' ... I know, how 'bout 'dying'?!"

Page 123~

Marty Roan's eyes were narrowed and bright with thought. "Granted she did not have money, there still might be reason for the badger game."

~RP

Paperback 119: The Erection Set / Mickey Spillane (Signet Y5120)

Paperback 119: Signet Y5120 (1st ptg, 1972)

Title: The Erection Set
Author: Mickey Spillane
Cover artist: Picasso

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:

• Is that extended leg supposed to simulate an erection or stimulate one? In either case: [shudder]
• If you ever doubted the phallic qualities of a gun, behold this cover. Of course, before this cover, I doubted the phallic qualities of a left leg. This cover's full of learning opportunities.
• Be honest: was there ever a time when that hairdo (bottle blond, unkempt yet sculpted, etc.) was attractive? I was three when this book came out, so I'm not a good judge.
  
• She is aggressively tan
• Remember when women with medium-to-smallish breasts could get shirt-removal work?

Best things about this back cover:

• "Hey, has anyone seen my artificial leg?"
• "Dogeron!!" - setting up the inevitable catchprase: "That doggone Dogeron done gone and done it again!"

Page 123~

My teeth were showing when I said, "You can always change your mind, pal. Like starting right now. I'll take all three of you out and be gone before the noise dies down."

~RP

Paperback 118: The Ravagers / Donald Hamilton (Gold Medal k1452)

Paperback 118: Gold Medal k1452 (PBO, 1964)
Title: The Ravagers
Author: Donald Hamilton
Cover artist: John McDermott (thanks to George Freeman for the artist credit)

Yours for: $9


Best things about this cover:

• Finally, the untold story of how the Scooby-Doo gang broke up - here, Velma tries to protect and console Daphne while Fred fends off a drug-addled Shaggy, who is despondent and irate about the fact that Fred had Scooby put down.
• The Matt Helm series was very popular, and Dean Martin played Helm on screen. I've never read Hamilton, but I'm starting to think it might be worth the effort. I always associate him with John D. MacDonald, largely because the Travis McGee and Matt Helm series were both published by Gold Medal throughout the 60s.

Best things about this back cover:

• That's the egg-headiest author pic ever.
• Code Name: Eric - exotic!
• "... lying dead in a Canadian motel room" - about the most undignified place you could possibly die. Bad enough to have your face eaten away by acid, but in a Canadian motel? That's just over-the-top.

Page 123~

She smiled up at me approvingly. "What a suspicious tall man it is! Don't worry, darling. We're going to have a swell time together. We'll have a million kicks, a million laughs. Hand me that shirt, will you?"

~RP

Paperback 117: Bodies and Souls / ed. Dann Herr & Joel Wells (Dell 0656)

Paperback 117: Dell 0656 (1st ptg, 1963)

Title: Bodies and Souls
Editors: Dann Herr & Joel Wells
Cover artist: Teason

Yours for: SOLD 9/18/10


Best things about this cover:

• Finally, a paperback that deals seriously with the lingering problem of the Manichean Heresy.
  
• "Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, [Willard / Ben / Templeton / other rat name you can think of]"
• Hmmm ... uh ... I guess this cover's got a rat. And a skull. And a candle. Those elements hold a certain visual interest.
• If you like brown, this is the book for you.
• This book is another good example of why paperback design starts sucking some time around 1960. Art becomes more like stock footage. Text starts dominating the cover in un-thought out and ugly ways. Quit shilling for the "Doubleday Crime Club" and give me the beautiful cover art I deserve! 50 cents for a paperback?! What am I, a Rockefeller?

Best things about this back cover:

• When I want an authoritative literary opinion, I always turn to [squints to read fine print] the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer!
• This reviewer is sadly and humorously unaware that "catholic" in fact means "universal." I know the reviewer meant "Catholic" in religious terms ... but precision of word choice matters, even if you do only work for the Columbus Daily Muffin.

Page 123~

from "The Finger of Stone" by G.K. Chesterton

"Have you heard the news I say," rapped out the doctor. "Boyg is dead."

Gale stopped in a sentence about Gothic architecture, and said seriously, with a sort of hazy reverence:

"Requiescat in pace. Who was Boyg?"

~RP